The Winchester

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

Perhaps I shouldn’t have all these creatures ect on the side of my protagonist all at once or in the final battle but I do want this impact visual and like wow what my lost guy has gained and used to over throw the villain power of nature trust and creativity, and I do have ideas for crushing down some of his creatures and allies (even the main character himself is a consideration) but is it just too much a stretch to start lets say the final battle (from a visual/ this is the team stand point) having all these creatures and allies a bit like Avengers End Game but not over like 15 films set up haha 🙂

The Giant Skelly is going down – cannon or such hit to the knee, the villains team using like a vehicle to go under his foot and raise like a ramp and both those combine will knock him over (and luck) he will hit his head on some giant rock and he’s gone ( I don’t like this it was fate or if only this thing never happened in films/tv like I said before such as with  Doctor Who End of Time episode for example but that seems the most effective way to wipe a giant Skelton 🙂

Giant Work gonna have like a blade stuck into him and that split him in two haha and like real worms he becomes 2 induvial but I might just not have him last long or such

If Main character is out its from being hit by big skelly lazers eyes and a giant fall

Giant Crab a stab to the top of the shell like by blade or such , I think he will carry on cause it will be good him to ‘heal’ from this fight by shedding his skin like crabs do shed their shells as the grow (I did a lot of crab research today) so it may just limit his use in the fight so that’s how I am going to deal with him (if I want him to survive and maybe chop a claw off would be cool 🙂

So I know maybe saying too much but I do have ideas set up and weakness of many of the giant creatures and allies so in the fight there will be losses just dont know if its too much have all this powerful allies in one go (one fight)

Thank you 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I just went back to Facebook messenger and remember my other idea haha 🙂 that’s why I always screen shot cool things even if I don’t use them in story (not yet ha) like the Bull Head Shark I may make that more literal in the story if I want to use for example 🙂

Big Warning at the end of this for people who don’t like or are freaked out by microscopic images of things – Its how a Crab ‘looks’ with a Microscope

So I don’t know which to do , one would work for the impact I want but to set up may be crazy stupid and the other small scale which can be cool but wouldn’t get that impact one unless I somehow make 2 ways to trigger this effect in the story 🙂

I do watch lot of first book, writing advices ect and what makes yours different and a lot is about what you like hobbies ect can place into the story what your fascinated by

In my case I’m using a lot of skull and Skelton sources in my book cause that always scared me from a child but I find it cool and know the bones 🙂

And I was doing lot of research on Crabs today and somehow got to microscopic image of crabs haha and I remember I loved and am terrified and unnerved by microscope images of creatures but its soo unique and cool I wonder how to fit that into the story such as I want like maybe the good guys using some tech or such (I thought about shrinking others down but nah) and in lot of films like Honey I Shrunk the Kids and Ant Man you get creatures that still look like how they are to us but bigger to the perspective characters which I don’t want for this effect.

I also thought is that how animals see tiny things depending on the size you are, and is that really how things look if you were that size vs looking at a microscope such as normal ant in both films but just big vs microscope image of ant with like the hairs ect especially with fly’s or things you mainly think about in the human eye scale and don’t see what ‘microscope’ sees cause sometimes it can look like an X Ray kind of version and I’m not super expert and what microscopes do to see tiny things so I don’t know if some form of radiation I know its not like that but to see smaller and smaller impacts wave lengths ect can they make the image we see on search ups and microscopes look crazy vs real life eyes if you were say an ant /at ant scale

I know this is a lot but may provide useful in realistic sci fi of my book

So for my book I want some villains or such to be soo scared of how ‘ this creature looks’ under microscope but to practical sci fi effect , I was thinking of like a giant screen and so long as your like at the screen side of it anything behind the screen is shown in detail ect you get in google search for micro creatures but if you walked round the screen they are normal so don’t change someones size but just some how sci fi how the visual you get

Or do I use like a eye piece like a spectacle to have this effect for the user to see in like micro vision or just both I don’t know if hauling a giant screen around fields ect for this effect is soo stupid to the reader but the tiny eye piece is cool but doesn’t work with fooling a large crowd and I don’t know what to do for this purpose and I don’t want it be some like box or such just magical sci fi to have the effect in someones mind for example I want it cool and like tricky to pull off but that effect of fooling people in real time with example the giant crab behind the screen or in the eye piece any help with this ? one seems stupid from a practical level even though its sci fi and the other is small scale and I want it something eye related like a screen or telescope/spectacle not some random weapons or box something that’s like ah this is a wand and ‘this’ is for the micro vision

Plus if it was soo easy everyone in story would use it and loss its reader effect and in the story effect and need somehow creatures , people , flowers whatever to have real time movements ect while looking like their google image microscope effect to the people or even creatures were trying to scare or fool 🙂

—

–Big warning for people who don’t like microscope things creatures flowers ect —

This (seen below) in real time in the content of the sci fi story (this is a crab)

Thank you

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I love it when this happens, just trying to do little bit of writing and had such a cool idea – to add a bond with the giant crab and main character had (main character) on-top of the shell practicing handstands haha I thought this is such a cool image on a giant crab and probs unique and then I googled to see if I could find that kinda of image and learned the Crab is basically a Yoga Pose haha how perfect 🙂

Pretty much since I drew my two fire Crab Pokemon Firtacean (Fire) and Frakon the Fire and Steel type Cannon Crab Pokemon in such an awesome drawing and improvement on anything I’ve drawn before and Frakon’s funny, sweet, enduring and powerful dex entry I’ve grown to love crabs, the shape, the strength and uniqueness as often they are not used in stories to a great degree apart from a clueless monster.

I am fascinated by crabs especially in like fantasy art and the head shape some completely flat and others like domed which I like to imagine like defense, castle shape especially cause the way I unexpectedly drew Frakon like a castle on-top, I know sounds silly but this like a castle gives royal imaginary and defensive with offensive possibility’s plus the Giant Dark Souls 3 Crab I love 🙂 and to be unique gonna have my story crab fire breathing instead of the water spray like is in the game, so gonna have the ‘crab king’ in the story 🙂

Writing a unique and cool big team/friend member in the story even thought of the character name – Husk , I think I like it maybe change later but like shell like well a husk and maybe something strong and crabs shed their shells so leave husks which I had a cool image in the story about this soo I think its sweet 🙂

I know just a crab and in a story but I really enjoy this one 🙂 have the main character striding into battle on a giant side ways moving crab haha and later gonna have the actual crab as his throne play on ‘king crab’ which is a type of crab soo sweet 🙂 have a little fire breath mechanism for the crab to boost its capabilities and an homage to my fire type crab Pokemon 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Oochillyo. Reason: Removing a word

[ScaryB @scaryb]

@oochillyo

AAAARGGHHHH! I’m traumatised! 🙂 (You did warn us, but I had to scroll 😛 )

 

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

hey @scaryb 🙂 I’m sorry for freaking you out.

Though it highlights my point 🙂 as the image alone is scary and eerier let alone if this was a ‘real world’ image or shown in a film 🙂

I am trying to push myself with getting back to writing and trying to write better 🙂 actually was working on a forest scene with Husk 🙂

Crabs are soo good 🙂 can just have him burn trees with the fire breath tech added and snap and crush tress out of the way 🙂 and my character can just walk under him and the hard shell of a giant crab will protect protagonist from falling tress 🙂 I know I’m writing the story but I keep finding ways a giant crab is soo useful and cool 🙂

Also had idea of like a big helicopter or something you know the bars like where it lands I thought of Husk grabbing onto those to get onto a building roof but cause giant crab haha might just be more logical to have big skelly pick him up and place him on roof where he will smash through the roof with his claws 🙂

Also have cool fight scene with him and main villain and was thinking (this crab teams with main character out of respect) could the villain gain the respect of the crab by like blocking its fire breath ect with shield and being cool but I think though that would be awesome and make a well giant threat haha for the main character I think the work to build a bond with the crab would be tarnished if I went that route so maybe just fight 🙂

I am soo loving thinking of this crab and writing scenes with it even more than big skelly which I’ve planned for ages soo re refreshing 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent 🙂

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Oochillyo. Reason: Spelling

[Craig @craig Emperor]

@juniperfish and @jimthefish Many thanks for your contributions. Very kind. They will be put to good use.

Cheers.

[JimTheFish @jimthefish Time Lord]

@craig –

No problem at all. Tis the season and all that … besides it’s damn cold out there at the moment….

[Dentarthurdent @dentarthurdent]

@craig   Thanks for your efforts on this site  (I bunged a small donation towards the kitchen as a token appreciation)

[Craig @craig Emperor]

Many thanks @dentarthurdent Very kind of you.

Just as a reminder, if anyone else wants to donate to Streets Kitchen, which feeds the homeless and those in food poverty 7 days a week, and also provides tents and sleeping bags and clothes and sanitary products etc. you can do so here:

https://peoplesfundraising.com/fundraising/streets-kitchen-winter-appeal

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I know this isnt the book section ( I was thinking talking of books would be eaiser) but any topic anything I dont mind

I just want to talk cause I feel like giving up and crying at home

Hope to hear from someone but enjoy your day if your busy or such 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[ScaryB @scaryb]

Not quite sure where to post this – @craig, @jimthefish, @phaseshift feel free to relocate it.

I know there are a good few Ballad of Halo Jones and 2000 AD fans in our little group, and I just wanted to mark the sad news today of the passing of artist Ian Gibson, after a long battle with cancer. Pat Mills tweeted it out earlier, but it’s now been announced officially. Apparently he kept himself amused through long blood transfusions by continuing to draw.

I loved his style, first with Robohunter, but then Halo arrived and exploded all my ideas of what a comic book story could be. A groundbreaking masterpiece.  And a real shame that the grinches preferred to have no further stories than to let Gibson and his writer partner Alan Moore have a fair share of their copyright.

2023 – you’ve been a bitch!

 

[JimTheFish @jimthefish Time Lord]

@scaryb

That’s awful news. I’d have to say that Gibson was my all-time favourite comic artist. Often bordering on caricature but always getting away with it and a really distinctive, uncopyable (believe me, I’ve spent my whole life trying) style. And the fact that he’s responsible for the visualisation of Halo Jones definitely puts him firmly in the pop culture hall of fame (this might be controversial statement but I’d say that it’s Alan Moore’s finest work).

Quite bummed out by that. What with us losing Kevin O’Neill round about this time last year. Seems we’re losing all the real talents from the golden years of 2000AD. (For the love of God, someone put Mick McMahon in a safe room right now.)

[Craig @craig Emperor]

@scaryb and @jimthefish

That is indeed very sad news. I was a little bit in love with Halo Jones when I was young. He also did fine work on other characters – making Judge Dredd a skinny boy is bold but he pulled it off (and something I appreciate, being a skinny boy).

I just grabbed this off my shelf – think I’ll read it again tonight.

[PhaseShift @phaseshift Time Lord]

@scaryb @jimthefish @craig

Gutted to hear that myself. If anyone doesn’t know about the impact Halo Jones had on Andrew Cartmel’s run on Doctor Who can I post this link to the blog on 2000AD I wrote back when we were doing retrospectives?

2000AD Doctor Who (Gridlock edition)

[JimTheFish @jimthefish Time Lord]

And the crappy news just keeps coming. Seem to remember we’ve had Homicide discussions here in the past so here’s the terrible news that the mighty talent of Andre Braugher has passed away. It seems everyone associates him with Brooklyn 911 these days but he’ll always be Frank Pembleton to me….

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2023/dec/13/andre-braugher-dies-cause-of-death-illness-61-brooklyn-nine-nine

[Whisht @whisht]

@scaryb @jimthefish @craig @phaseshift

just to add my thoughts on the sad loss of Ian Gibson.
And to echo Jim’s plea that we put Mick McMahon into some sort of protective space.

(but not an iso cube)

Gibson’s flowing lyrical lines were so powerful for me when I saw them in 2000AD.
It created an environment and characterisation that couldn’t simply be taken on by another artist. If I saw those characters (Halo and Sam Slade) by other artists I was always thrown (and I know Robo Hunter began with a different artist).
Similarly Nemesis when O’Neill passed the pen to others.

2000AD was (is?) so unique in providing such distinctive visual styles and storytelling in a single issue of a comic.

I would also like to say, that if the residents of a certain house in Stevenage ripped the wallpaper back from one of their bedrooms to discover the faded portrait of Halo Jones drawn in coloured charcoals (direct onto the concrete!) then… that was me.
I’m not sorry, even though it showed through for hours until the wallpaper I was putting up finally dried out!

I may re-read my Ballad of Halo Jones too this xmas.

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I am been like darting around the obvious topics cause I cant access the new episodes currently so I talk more about story stuff films ect outside things

Had bit of rocky times (though Rocky the boxer is cool haha) and like today stuff goes on and kinda empty so watched some marvel film stuff , Last Of Us analysis in Morning , tons of Star Wars like practically 2 hours on the pod racers alone haha all the tech ect soo cool but yeah its like a roller coaster up and down and I re freshed the page here after hours of Star Wars and a small super speed vidoe I didnt like and was soo happy my fav episode was talked about and like something I could join in on and then my friend was talking about Labyritnth which I mentioned to my other friend this morning while sending gifs and telling of things I like such as Wolverine , Jennifier Connely , Star Wars ect which is the reason I gave in and watched all the pod race stuff I could find to  begin with haha which took me to a big stars wars rabbit hole and yes they even have crab like spiders in the lore soo cool 🙂

Anyway I dont know I just ramble and tell about my day maybe wasn’t my first intention , I just like when nervous I write a lot and fast or when feeling energized like when seeing the new posts from our lovely new member Welcome and my friend watching Labyrinth which was such a cool conicdence 🙂

Currently listening to – Sweet Female Attitude – Flowers 🙂 (on loop) maybe found this song yesterday but I knew it long time ago just forgot what it was but soo sweet 🙂 and happy to find 🙂

yeah I had my new X Men document open for the whole day haha closed it recently but maybe I’ll work on it again when better days 🙂 today was wobbly for many reasons and empty and I didnt know what to do even at the Morning as I told my friend and it seems like all of them now are sleeping or partying in discos haha so yeah wobbly day filled with Star Wars and super hero game stuff all stuff haha 🙂

I really did forgot the point of what I wanted to say but sometimes that’s best to be free and I think fast type fast and I dont wanna be like slowed right now to think carefully of a point , maybe on wobbly days this is natural and best for me 🙂

I talked to another friend and like got the star wars topic out there and was soo over joyed they knew about it and wanted to talk about it I pretty much told them my whole day of what Star Wars things I had learned about Podracing the racers involved the technogly of plane engines ect I went too fast as usual and now feel stupid and sitting in the dark cause Moths not wanting to sleep but no idea what to do so I broke my I’m gonna wait till I have a better day and seem normal to our new member which I planned for tommorow but you know I think I need this not to be selfish but just sitting here nobody around nearly crying out of desperation to conncet with someone this is a best start even if I do look stupid or worse I guess silly for talking soo much cause nobody likes people who talk soo much but thats me thats what school did to me and thats how my brain works now and I have had 2 nights I think maybe 3 well previous to last night technically turned into a nightmare about my lost love again which ruined my whole day as I told my friend I woke up sad and in like mental pain and today (which was yesterday cause time) just trouble with family and everyone’s been really sick for few days I recovered maybe last week of 3 days of unwell but like yeah just not going totally well here in addition to emptiness of not knowing what to do on a religious day my day kinda collapsed from the start till I gave in and watched Star Wars stuff after hours of sitting at desk not knowing what to do today oh and last of us first cause thought analysis maybe makes a purpose to the day and now star wars makes me happy short term but sad long term thinking of fall of Anakin and stories like that

I’ve been playing Magic Gathering again of recent had 4 matches lost all cause like 4 year old deck and bit rusty testing it and last guy on turn 5 out of nowhere hit me for 200 million damage which is insane for magic had been spending the days since that brief time working on my deck 300 , 500 , 800 cards ect testing all options but cant play a match till save a deck and it wont left me save more than 250 and I have to reduce to 60 to have a match which I am finding nearly impossible spent hours hours of days in a row like 3 days trying on a freezing laptop and even last night just spent 3 or 4 hours writing in word 1 – 1200 and others numbers and writing each card I have just to understand what I want out of my strategy haha but I really looking forward to it have soo many good ideas when ready for match and been trying to convince my friend to play with me but so far we got to download then he said he didn’t like it but I just want at least 1 match with him so maybe I’ll keep trying if that’s not selfish

Ooo and watched lot of marvel stuff too some new films ect on the way 🙂

So yeah this is giant and kinda a big sum up of days to week or so writing, videos , analysis , double nightmares about school as usual is the only kinda of nightmare I have, music nice , missing friends, feeling guilty cause I’m a ramble machine, trouble with family so I probs don’t deserve anything for Christmas even more so and some writing advice videos again and I kinda wanna get back to that in next few days perhaps 🙂

hehe little Moth on the screen maybe he is reading my words that would be cute 🙂 02:07 (this was most recent part) 🙂

May the Force be with you haha 🙂

Thanks everyone 🙂

Take care stay positive hugs 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[WhoHar @whohar]

Seems like a Christmas special idea right here:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/dec/17/elf-on-the-shelf-trend-likened-to-poltergeist-visits-as-parents-feel-social-media-pressure

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I didnt know where to put this so hope its not wrong or tottaly unallowed in the forum as a whole

This week or maybe couple days have been truyl terrible for me (not to complain or such or exgarater I promise)

I dont know if to keep it short or write all what went wrong and I think this is useful the forume for me in various apects but I want to save this in like histry you know like part of my life what happend ect

 

I wanted to ask – is it possible to develop a mental illness – often we hear of depression and am not going agaisnt that but what I mean is – are there other mental things like that of the mind of psyci , like in Doctor Who once was Jacklon Lake (wow my memory was good there) and like the main point of that story he survived such truma his mind went into a Fuge State – I goggled for the spelling and maybe found another form of it not sure fudea state of the mind – Search (bing.com)

But thats what happend in one Doctor Who episode and I dont want to go to much into which episode ect – my asking and I know soo many different people here and ages and knowldges ect I would think its more likly me to win the lotter than find a physcologist here but who knows anything is possible but also help of internt like with that I goggled and disvored just quickly maybe answers are out there 🙂 – you know today I search about tooth repair possible to fix teeth I found this great website all about all the options like medical things and ways that could help clincal trials all very proffisional and good to know about for me so always stuff can learn 🙂

I hope I’m calming down a bit and making more sense honestly not to be like cliche I really dont feel myself feel right

Time is 19:27 ok just wanted this hear its important to me even if I sound silly

I honeslty feel like I’ve had the worst 2 days in my life for different reasons

Teeth Regeneration and Regrowth 2023: Current Research and Future Treatments – Dental Freak

So that link above is for the teeth progresss – I read I think all of the adivce there and research and some of the comments but most comments I dont know if were helpful or misundertandings occured like with what people were saying in the comments on this website – but whole heartly if your worried about teeth stuff maybe something there can help and it slightly put my mind at ease but relazied I still should keep going you know

I know this seems crazy what I am typing in this ‘post’ today but whole heartly I dont know if its like a mental break down or what but I need to ask for help and each stuff I write maybe its not perfect or make total sense but its how I need it right now I think I slowed down – like I can see things more clear and get like normal words and sentences that make sense as maybe can see from the begging to this point having sentences ect structred more normally.

I know this fourm isnt really built for this but just I soo panicked for various reasons I needed to open up.

I didnt want to go to much detail but maybe a background is imporant – this is important undeneath – please focuse on this if you dont want to read all else before

past few days been awful – maybe a week or so I honestly dont know like yes its December but days I feel like I coudlnt tell you when anything happend past a few days ago – either way I got a bit unwell as maybe I said before in other areas and like watching films or such while recovering cause had a cold well I had to take at least 3 rest days to be pretty much alright again

So were on the 18th of Decemeber and about 3 days ago started not sure to be honest I maybe had another cold but I think it was the one from before the 3 day rest one – at some point maybe couple days ago like I dont know I think were on Monday so lets say 14th or such like I think I had a fight with my family on 13th or somthing lot of things going on- so past 3 days maybe the time frame doesnt line up but my parents got really unwell and like being in same sort of area as them each day like eventually I belive the cold got to me ah I think it was second cold – look I went out maybe few weeks ago with my family to help pick fruit and it rained and next day went on really tough physically walk and it rained too and thats when I got unwell or was feeling it I think – at some point not sure if ther’es a date we went to a concert party thing and we stayed soo many hours and I was soo fed up of things (so I was there but maybe had recovred at this point or was getting better) then I went home maybe was unwell days after or such I feel like I forgot all days inbetween but know key things you know

so at some point I was well again – then lets say withing this week (by like days like 5 days ago ect ect) cause I dont know what day we are actually on its all been a blur – my parents got unwell and more and more and I think it spread to me there is my point –

on 16th maybe I had fight ish with my Mother for not resting and pushing herself when she wasnt well – I dont know if it was the 16th but the days feel close to each other and today 18th

She has been very unwell lets just put it at that and went to Hospital for many many hours and this unwell ness like we all have a lets say variity of it like I had cough my Dad to0 , things like fevers dizzy various different symptoms and problems but each different to their own and I dont wanna try and guess how my parents what they felt but for example last night I heared them both coughing hard many times during early morning

so yesterday (17th of December 2023) my Mum went to the hospital from somepoint in Morning with my Dad and our neighbour friend stayed with me most of that begging of that day

it was yesteday I know what happend

I dont remember exact time my family left home to go to that hospital but our Neighbour Derik (I dont know the spelling sorry) stayed at our home 🙂 – he cleaned the diseses ect that area and fridge I think kitchen floor, and I brushed outside pateio kinda of area (in the cold but wanted to help him as a guest couldnt let him do everything and yes I wasnt well but wanted to help) so I wasnt well on the 17th not sure how far back this ilness started or when it got to bad but I knew like I was pushing myslelf but wanted to help him – so I did cleaning like I said sweeping ect and my parents still wernet home so we said in the early morning cause Derk was in our home maybe 10 oclock cause I statyed in bed longer than normal to try and keep well and went downstairs maybe that time or 12 I think I went down and he was there ect ect, we walked down the hill to his house after it being around lunch time and my parents not back , I eat with him not as much as normal cause I coudlnt fit the food in like I was unwell still enough to be ok going there but just wanted to take it easy,

We went back to my house up the hill and that really was soo diffucutl I thought like it nearly killed me, I carried a heavy bag for him till I coudlnt anymore I wanted to keep it but I thought its not worth damaging my health for this (I gave him the bag after the shortcut) and we were movin 2 bags heavy ones he had one and I gave him the other maybe half way to home and even just walking with nothing to carry at that point I was really struggling and he could see I was unwell he told me and quite which he said wasnt like me – I barly felt like I could get home sweating my heartbeat , soo much muscle pain in my legs everything like blood pressure ect – I got home and immidelty sat at the desk chair I just had to sit I couldnt do anymore phycally I was like at the limit- I was at that chair for a while catching my breath ect while he cleanred or cooked I dont know cause I couldnt see cause the house layout but he was in the kitchen – I then moved myself to the sofa (they are quite small here sofa’s) and wrapped myself in blankets and watched tv , at some point maybe he left to go back to his home I think we ate at his house 12 or 2 somthing like that – he didnt stay super long when we got back to mine and maybe 30 mins later I really not sure I was watching films but at 2 or 4 one of them I cant remember my parents came home

My Mum going from a long stay at hospital didnt rest nothing just do more cleaning ect and I was soo stressed ect trying to take over for her health to stop over exagertting and I was clearning ect ect

so I nearly literally thought thats my limit when got home with Derk soo much so I just sat at that green chair in a state till I got enough to move to the sofa like enough recoery lets say – and I was in sofa trying to get well again and watched like 3 or 4 james bond films which I wanted to mention yesterday in the fourme and talk about them but bad things happend after so I wasnt in the right place for that

I’ve noticed somethings chaged or whatever cause I only relaised this times – if I rest I recover quite quick like with the 3 day ilness I think it started before like with the fruit picking and the day after when it kinda started but I didnt get really unwell like fever extra till maybe few day after the event thing we went too health is strange and I dont know all the dates – but if I rest I seem to do well but if I have to do something else like the moment I move from a location or do something like push or clean somrthing it all goes backwards again

I know this is the most jumbled thing on this fourm but its how I am thinking hope you understand trying to recall a week or such of important details when I personally feel even today I have been forgetting things my Mum might say to me after 30 seconds I am really trying to write this all with a to b you know step to step but its hard

Sometimes I used to want when I was young and like child ect and it happend various times in my life that God or someone could just record my life so every day every moment is known I think this yesterday (17th Decemebr 2023)

so anyway I was getting better but my Mum espically in a panic cause nearly Christmas and my Brother is coming to us so its like everrything must be perfect clean this do this ect ect dust , like nothing can be wrong and she woudlnt rest even after visiting Doctors cause of this panic

Nobody even told me till today or last night very late what happend at the Doctor’s cause I didnt go cause probs unwell or such but like what they found or what happend nobody tells me till then and somepoint at least today cause I remember derik being there (in our house) while I found out something about her lung or an ifection its not good my Mum’s lung to put it simply. that I know of now and probs found out some point today

so anyway I was getting better wrapped in blankets watching the james bond films on tv like back to back james bond it was wow 🙂

and then my Mum secretly cleaning behind our backs ect and other things and I at some point she was soo unwell went to rest upstairs she did on again small sofa thought she was sleeping , I went to go back like 30 mins later or maybe 3 just I left it some time  cause I was panic she may check my room cause everything has be perfect for my Brother ect so I went back and she wasnt on the sofa the tv was on – I relaized she was in her bedroom batheroom/toilet area and I waited ( I have a thing about time so I remember this) well I got some sort of tim saved maybe in a note to self kinda of thing – I waited from like 7:37 or 6:37 but in digital time so that is like 18:37 or 19:37 , I waited like 10 mins checking it was like 47 I think it was 37 start I cant remmebrr evrything point is I waited 40 minstures till about 20:10 to check on my Mum who I thought been in batheroom area for long time and with light on there and the tv in the other section I was waiting at where I thought she went to rest so I thought is strange isnt she coming back I went and I barly walked through the door just like 3 seconds and say tons of coat hangers cloths boxes everything on the bed out of my parents wardrobe and I was mad again behind our backs doing extra work when my Mum is not well like she been to the Doctors for hours (this was yesterday and only today 18th) I found out some sort of lung problem but at that time I was Mad I went downstairs to tell my Dad had big big talk with him he was kinda gental actually 🙂 but I was destrute nearly crying, shouthing my throat and voice was nearly gone at the end I couldnt stop telling him how fed up I was about this and many many numerous things that is not right that happens or my Mum does ect and my Dad nobody perfect but this time I was furious at my Mum – my Dad keep telling me sit on the sofa next to him it would have been and I did but got up most times just pure like I couldnt stop soo many things I was furious about dangerous driving events with my Mum ect ect how she never rests and pushes herself and doesnt listen to me or my Dad but only to my older Brother who she is cleaning like mad damageing her health to make everything look nice and perfect for him

my throat was gone at during this talk like I had throat cough ect my parents too they been very unwell coughing in nights ect and it all spread to me but the walk with Derkis to home up the heal nearly killed me and I was very unwell at that moment and had to rest really proeprly for me yes on sofa and can watch tv and example found all james bond films on but I was in blanekts and knew I need to stay here and nothing else

but my Mum is not like that even when I felt she has more health worries and the Doctors had seen her and she got home and do everything clean everythin – I think the day before she was cleaning things again behind our backs and I shouted at one point like was kinda screaming cause when I found out and tried to help she wouldnt stop and rest and let me do it even when I wasnt well – she only stopped for like 30 mins when her niece or such phone and she sat on the bed in the room she was cleaning for 30 mins

but thats what really hurt me phycially yes mentially but like I got soo unwell from the stress and screaming and my blood pressure and trying to do things when I wasnt well to help my Mum

I think yesteday this all happend with the cleaning and still my Mum or maybe this morning made me push these heavy bed side tables in one of the rooms and that I thought my knee it could break and I left this massive wooden bed side tables slightly out from the day before cause I didnt want to hurt myself more and I moved the massive like table wide enough for tv ect I think that alone is like 100 kg I can barly shunt it to move anway it was push the bed side tables (this was yesteday yeah) and these are the ones in the room my Mum was cleaning the bathroom for and somepoint after all this and my Mum cause I snapped and shouted ect and she said I was bad something I dont know but like a disgrace she left and went to kitcehn area where my Dad was cleaning or something at this time and I did the washing on my own of these metal rails scrubbing and wshing sinks and cookers ect and the robot hover did a little clean around the beds which is why we normally move the bed side tables – anywya I did that and I do think my Mum siad I did a good job 🙂 but later I was called for or I found my Mum at the glass room which is like furtherst you can be in the house unless your at this part in our garden but next door house is really close to that so nearly as far as can be in our home and my Mum was doing things and I was called for or found her and tried to help she was about to lift this box and I thought no way I stepped in and to be fair it had maybe chirstmas things in I didnt look – its a box we keept from moving items ect when we moved aborad and now christams stuff is in this partucialr box I asume – and I got the box and it my Mum after asking me to plug in the christmas tree and we did that ect was sweeping in the room when I got there and after the checking of tree ect we were leaving the room like my Mum was going and told me take this box to such and such its a long way, I picked up the box its a cardboard thing like for sending stuff on planes when you move houses so its kinda wide box but honestly for me wasnt that hevay

I was going to go to the steps to walk down the corridor to move this box – even before I got to the step – you know when you go down stairs or steps you start normally at a level then you put one of your feet down to reach that step – yeah before I even could put my foot down (I was holding the box while doing this cause had to move it) I felt soo dizzy remember I hadnt been super well like throat coughes ect even the thing I recoved from maybe weeks before this yesterday I felt the sinus you know in my neck soo painful and swollen most it had been in my life the right side I could feel like if I put my finger there on my neck and under chin that was before like I never knew a throat infection or whatever blocked nose ect to be that bad I was like wow thats bad something wrong I asked my Mum and she said yeah its like sinis throat stuff either way things have been up and down health wise with me my family ect but I recovred from that throat thing but yesterday and recent times I wasnt too well but it wasnt like that exmaple no swollen thraot thing other problems but each is a sign your not well rest you know

I was as I said about to take the step while carrying to not to heavy box in box hands and yes I couldnt really see my feet ahead ext cuse the box is wide enough its like your hugging someone but before you wrap your arms around them its where you move your arms widen them like if you wear hugging a fat person honesntl I dont want to be offensive or mean I just trying to illustrate yes its carrying a card board box but they are big for shipping all your properties we had like 16 of them shipped by plane and that clearned most of the stuff in our previous home they are like moving compay boxes so I am carrying this box so sight ahead of me isnt too great so I was maybe leaing my head slightly left to try and the corridor or looking down to see the steps – but either way the very moment I am not joking the moment I went to take that step

so I am here / box is with me/H lets say a h since its most square thing I could find on a laptop keybaord and step is like this /H flat—— this is the room level glass room all level then get to the step fistrst 1st –

–

–

then we go down like 3 steps and it goes flat a bit then more 3 steps and againe ect

we have a kinda of hotel so long corridors couple rooms ect

so even before I could step I was on the flat part about to aproach the step holing the box with both hands and arms up like straight and in line with maybe my chest where the heart is carrying a big sqaure box basically any item squre and big that you have had to carry with 2 hands imamgine that –

so I was like I said about to approach and moved my foot and leg to take the step were going down this steps instant uneasy and dizzynes and I couldnt even like take that step I felt soo unsafe unstable unwell I knew isntally cause I was doing ok enough where I picked up the box from the sofa and was heading out like my Mum said we would

I was fine enough there nothing felt wrong or worried me I picked up that box and like I say wasnt too heavy I think it was pretty empty maybe with some Christam stuff to about a palms length of depth of items in the box I didnt really take time to look but it felt light enough weight for me but I knew things were inside like ballballs I recoknon and other stuff you can pack for Christams – so I was fine

but the  very moment I went to take that step with the box in my arms instan like something was soo wrong I’m not saying a mintute or a cliche I literally felt I couldnt take that step as soon as I got to it I was going you know to walk down cause we were leaving the room but I got to it and something just hit me I knew and I told myself in my head if I take this step or try to go down these stairs with this box )which wasnt too heavy remember) I willfall – I will fall down these stairs

I stopped myelf I couldnt risk that and went back to sofa and put the box at the top of sofa not where people sit but the top and my Mum was like come on come ect and she went ahead of me and like ‘we leaving the room’ kinda of thing she said somethign about we were going

and I did it I slowrly like I was 80 and like on point of dying I slowly with the box went down slow each step like a minuite or so just bracing and waiting to next step and my Mum was ahead of me so from my view point I can see her and she was brushing – broom in one hand – bucket handel thing in other – brushing each step walking backwards down each step and these are small steps with like a wodden cover at the end this house is like at least 20 years old and yes things well look after most part and we fix a lot since being here from early this year and these particualr stairs most I feel they are strong but I wouldnt purplply step on the wood part so the halway steps are like tiled at the back with a wood cover that slighting overlapps at the end like if I can I will take photos and somehow get this to here so you can all understand the structure and layout better of things but these are small steps and I wouindlt put a lot of weight on the wodden part

My mum walking backwards cleaning like dusting sweeping you know down these stairs while I’m holding the box that I felt I was about to fall down the stairs cause of , she is brushing and her scaf is low really low close to hear feet this scarf thingy kinda sea through thing and she didnt listen I was warning her this is dangeous and your scarf if you trip (if she did) she would fall down backwards onto hard tiled slabs and maybe crack her head 🙁

everything is soo obvious to me the danger the risk but she doesnt liten my advicce and warning

she has medecial issues and mentail health things

and once we were here and she did fall (fowards) down the stairs same kind of 3 stair set up onto the tile slab thing and I thought she was dead , blood , she didnt speak no movment I think I remmebr cause this was very close to my Birthday in June like 5 days away 13th unluky right – I was soo scared I thought I did it and still feel guilty but only tell myself and like I ran down that hill cut my feet cause didnt think in time to put shoes ect lot happend ok and I can detial and maybe in a sad or sick way I do want to cause I dont want forgot this things its too seriious

but thats why yesterday with the box I was soo dizzy and no baister to hold and I had to use both hands to carry this box in front of me I thought I could fall too and I felt if I didnt stop right that second I would so I put the box on sofa ect you know

but I was soo worried if my Mum again would have an accident cause she walking backwards down these sets of 3 staairs and brushing at same time so both her hands are holding something and her scarf soo close to her foot I was soo scared and unwell

She told me where to put the box

I moved down these more stairs soo carefully and slowy maybe hurrying a little cause my Mum was soo cross I was taking time but if I told her I’m not well she will be mad

lots lots happend yestersay the day before and today right now 20:47 well tyrping this dont know how long been writing but I feel something my legs is wrong and my chest a little tight

like the circutalatipn in  legs and my nails aain are purple grey and I am shiveirng I really havnt been well

typing on one of our small sofas maybe should get a blanket and curretnyl sitting like you do on a chair legs ahead and down feet on group but on sofa with laptop on my legs

either way yesterday I was still moving this box these stepts times 3 cayse the corridor and then up the staris slowey and put it away , I was mad or I went to rest cause unwell not sure if I told my Dad anythng at that point , but cleaning and pushing the big heavy wodden bed side tbales I dont think hlped whatso ever and that sudden I could fall stuck me something is wrong and I went to rest on sofa , dont know if this is the time I missed the james bond films cause I watch like 2 or 3 since home with derk after the cathcing my breaht ect on the chair and watched the films in blankets on sofa wth Molly 🙂

So at some point and I remeber it was still bright or day time enough to see when in the glass room

anyway I rest or that neatly did me in something went very wrong and maybe I remvored not sure which order of events but at some point yesterday after I was doing little better well I think it was after the box stuff ect cause I went back to rest and as I say my Mum went upstrais and I found out somehow she was resting there or maybe my Dad said or I heared them talking that she was going to bed or just somwoehrre upstairs to rest maybe she told me and I check on her like that not long after she rest or somehing I dont even know if I found out cause of going upsrairs for somereason but I think my Dad went up or such and thats when I discory

I know you all probs thing Declan Sargent is crazy but I am 100% trying to recall as much as I can from this time these days and I worry even here I am forgetting how things prgogressed even just yesterdy

so back to the events I thought maybe my Mum will check on my Room cause my Brother ect and thats how we got to the story about waitjng 40 mins after soon ish noticing my Mum in her bathroom and went to check on my Mum after wating this time and just like a blink of an eye I didnt enter the room in case you know privacry ect but just to see all these coathangers ect all my Mum’s and Dad’s cloths ect all the stuff that was in their I repeat thier closet on thier bed why whats the need my Brother isnt going to look there or bother about this and my Mum doing extra that really wasnt needed and I stormed down stairs and the big talk with my Dad James bond was still going another one haha but he eventually turned of the tv and I was in a state and we talked a while ect but I think cause that – plus the box , the scrubbing ect the massive walk up with derkin after lunch everything I literally over did somthing in my body in my health

20:58 If only I could higlight key points I have a heart condition and did think once I was dying cause I thought I had a heart attack after being fever ect ect one night in England I couuldnt sleep that night was unwell but staying latying on the sofa back home and my brother and Mum say need rest in bed sleep ect go to bed but I couldnt , when I did at some point in that night I must of slept cause was late something went wrong I thought my pluse had stopped ect I wet the bed evvetything something was soo wrong I was soo scred I was going to die I screamed like and when my Mum got to my room I dont know if I called them from thier room but my Dad and Brother were still sleeping and my Mum had to get my Dad later but that night I was driven to hospital stayed there for weeks or something was chesat infeftion which I always used to get but for me I felt on that day something was much worse like not to be valgue but my gentlemen area it all emptited I thought at hopstial someone should check and I dont like show any of that areas to anybody but it like everything leaked out on my bed and when at hostpial they made me drink fluided and that fixed and I said to Doctor cause I did tell them cause I was soo scared if I lose it I cant have fmaily and thats most thing I want in life

but I still stayed hopstial for weeeks and this was couple years ago that time I know wrote tons so may have to break the big events into parts to help you all know the timeline but I missed my school resutls day I missed soo much the new people ect I joined six form late case I was in hospital and I have photos of like blood neddedles in me ect ect

so I thought I was dead that day

last night 18/12/2023 I thought same thing but in a different way

my Broither is here now with some friends of his very nerous 21:04 but got to keep writitng this

back to that night yesterday after I was furuous and calmed down with my dayd I went back to sofa with blanekt and revover but my Mum not well my Dad is the best out of all of us right now health wise but we all vbeen sick in various ways

said helo to the new peolple but keep my distance even now felt dizzy when walking to them and curretly 21@06 sitting back on sofa my head is spinning I’m shaking cold my nails purple blue

but anway last night 17th honeslt felt like the worst day of my life

after the fight and or cleaning or walking up the hill with heavy bag ect contasnt like punches to my health and I know I should rest I did the other time stayed pretty much in blakcets on the sofa that other time and got perfectly fine in like 3 days but this is way worse and I havnt been able to keep resting constatly and my Mum espically cause I trying to help clean what she was or she says move that or stress mentally all has like blown up my health

anywya last night I went back after the talk with my dad which I think last an hour or something me nearly in tears my voice gone throat gone

I went back to the green desk chair and had my laptop cause I was desperate and soo scared – before I was on my lets say blanket sofa and ilness sympotms have various things like sweating ect one point I coughed (all my family has had this cough) and then I coudlnt breath like something was stuck in my throat and it stopped but next thing my Mum like 30 seconds after that same kind of cough so I was worried all our health at that very moment of one of the worst days I thought we could die me and my mum espically

I went in a panic upstairs collecting things trying to get notes to write stuff ect I got the blood pressure machine anything I could find and was panic inmyself that I could have brain damage cause having high fever too long is bad but I couldnt find any themotror so I dont know if physcal damage has occorused with like braine ect though recent even like today I have found remebering things diffictult like with the 30 seconds later as I said before

but that night I went down the stairs as quick as I could eventually cause I couldnt figure it out my Mum put the blood pressyre thing on me and said it was normal and maybe I was little calmer happiend I am not gonna have a stroke or anything casue at various points these days my head was bangging or dizzy

so I called Melda that nice Turkish lady I mentioned – I texted her tones cause I was soo scared this was my last day I could die and told her all worries ect and can you help me chedck my condtions cause I coudlnt get phone space for photos or such and this was the day I even told her many times I cant forgot its important for my Doctors to know this and for me

and I told her things to write and wrote stuff myself cause was diffucitult and I did scare her and she is new ish friend but she was the only one I could trust and tell cause my other friend may laugh or not take serious or panick and tell me off like alwats about letting my family control my life and he has been partying a lot with my other friend so I neded seruious this is how I am need to know

I texted a lot and can send the text maybe I should ask her permsion but to understand th genuine fear I literally exprcted me or my mum or both to die that night

we did a lot of my nails blue , how I look ect ect

that was honeslty the worst day of my life and I thought at like 10 ocolock night time which is early for me I should sleep I should go bed I need to I want to but I stayed because maybe I was feeling better yes I upset her and scared her which is why today 18th we talk a little this morning but I waiting for her message dont want to bother her and now 21:18 for past couple mins I’ve been getting even worse so I dont want to scare her more

but i stayed up and then I think my friend the party one called and I wanted go bed I knew my health and went bit on call with him from desk to that sofa wih blankets but didnt wnna say I’m not well but I let my laptop drain most of the battery and I felt guilty so I said I’m going to bed and we said goodnight all happy 🙂

cold bed maybe but eventually was fine and Molly kept bumping up to me 🙂 so thats sweet 🙂

but hoenstly I thought I am going to die that night nearly 6 months after my birthday – week or so before Christmas and after all ups and down just wanting to get to the year 2024 for reasons thought I wont make it I wont have a family thats it

today again I got little bed resting on sofa recoer ect but panic station had to follow my mum or clean ect

even now 21:25 I’m back but had to go up stiars to my room for moothwash for my brother everythig is wrong everyone can see I’m unwell I was shaking , deep purple nails , dizzy my legs feel like compressed maybe I do need a hospital

but yeah I talked tons and call with Melda who wasnt well either and I felt sorry but I was soo panick and felt my Ilness extrememe I had to go through the check me out write it down stuff with her but she was soo heartbroken and like I felt oh no I can talk different topic but just was terrifed I could die and I think we ended night half ok like I saw her rest I sent little nice message and photo cause I do care for her and she was happy when saw it her time 🙂

but yeah that was that night and now is like I dont feel like everything crushing in like chest wise heart wise but just full body parts like joints hands ect like more surface level

If I can I want to take pictures again cause never been this sick and need to know for furture and the doctors

but yesterday for example I found stay in one place helped me and when I move it starts the really strong problems again like dizzy ect but when typing this for agaes apart from the times I moved cause the guests arrive or my Mum says get your Brother mouthwash I was on this chair and its like being on a plane for me I’m meant to move on planes cause blood ect heart stuff

but sitting or laying in once place for a while like yesterday helped me reover but maybe this position of legs tucked like when you sit on a chair I mean – knees straight legs under ect is like not helped the blood circitlation in my legs cause they felt tight and when had to move for my Brother ect shaking and still tight so I dont know what to do

normally I always found like with revision at school it backfired when I rested when unwell I would feel dyhrytred worse sick , dizzy ect or even if I sleep druing the day so I sleep late but these past days yes I dont sleep sleep during day but take it easy not to much walking pushing you know just helping if I can but mostly on the sofa ect but now I worry sitting like this too is a problem like what and what do I do sitting nearly still on sofa while typing yes I am not using blankets at moment cause didnt want to heat up too much like yesterday night I thought I was too hot and fever and brain damage but just sitting and typing maybe its been too long an hour or whatever typing this but soo important for me

my nails are going back to normal ish colour so like I say if I stop gernally I recover (as of recent like past times like with the fruit picking and rain ect and even with the worse day of my life) I relazied stop and rest is working for me this time , yes I dont have internt or tv in my bedroom so I’m mosty down here in fireplace room where tv is but I wrapped up on little sofa and rest its all a part of rest doesnt matter the location

but I guess this is too long

I think everyday is soo precioius I see it all the time cause my heart condition ect but yesterday was such a wake up call I told Melda make your life do what you want be proud of it you know (in longer sentences and words talking cause really wanted her to relaised)

every day previous and I could have died and I thought I would so I am trying do something important each day now and get back to healthy when ready like walks ect but not now and my Brother here he can help look after my parents and I can get the rest time not straiend activity I need

today I found that denist thing and learned well listend to some Portuguese words so thats something I’ve done today I found thats meaningful yes I can do more today espically with learning but maybe this is the best of today I know its a lot and sad and topics or words nobody likes and very my story but its imporant I belive and I am still very very pooryl everyone saw , walking for little time it all came back shakes cold ect , I even felt little pain in my tummy and cause writing all this I want to get this done before lose it I said I’m not hungrt (they give me tiny tiny amount lasana) and I think thats ok cause actually my tummy did have a feeling so I shouldnt push myself its like listen to your body

thank you for listen I know tons of spelling errors – tangents, ect ect my finger hurts my hands and fingers are cold espically the one that hurts cause its my typing finger , I should eat and wrap up or do something impornt like write more my story or just curl up but honeslty this is like the iceberg of smyptoms most in our village they say been getting a bug but me I have a weaker immune sysmtem honest not tyying to say I’m specail but seriously yesterday not from car crash not from heart attack pain I had couples years back but what is in genrall sweatng , dizzy , flu ect we all know flu but to extreme and I dont know how my Mum’s long got a problem but seriously anything can happen and I tell my friend that party guy Marco his parents smoke soo many years and my Brothers friend but I think he is doing better but I was in town last week or whatever and saw this fat guy at the coffe table very tummy fat like beer belly, hair kinda grey at sides merging into black I think he was smoking , I think had coffee and he was coughin out loug cough cugh soo strong like I thought and I was healtyh then none of this wake up call but my heart condition I see life as precions and people who ruin thier bodyies and heath I really cant stand when I’m trying with what I have and I didnt damage myself on purpose and if i could get perfect health thats like all I want too cause can spend time with my family peace of mind ect I was soo deppressed before when I thought at 15 I could die thats it thats my like shelf life I was in school councling for various reasons and I cried in the really kind head maste’rs desk cause I was soo scared my life is gonna end and maybe year later or maybe in that year I think actually same year I had bang that feeling I’m dead get me to hospital ect and I was there for weeks as I said

so I felt this was different but like a Wolverine draining of my health not a sudden impact like a heart attack but just all body going wrong and thats how I saw my Mum too last night and was soo scared and sure we could both die that night

so people I wish they knew these things or had a little step in my shoes and walked out because you dont appreciate what you have till its gone and it can go sudden or a drain like domino effect you cant stop like that film Click which terrifes me

so please I know tangents and not right place maybe but if I seriously get more sick or worse die or someone in my family please all of you who ever see this and spread it around if you want please carry on life your best lives like a lot on X Facors which is on tv each night lot of people had difficult and pushed through it or just aimed and got to thier dreams we are not all super aweomse and lucky to have these expirences from day 1 to wow my dream is complete but keep going in your life make the most of it have lot of days you can remember not evryone is saint and can do that even me maybe wont make everyone day count but after 2 time I felt I could die and once nearly drowing with my Brother please evrryone enjoy your lives and life them and look after your health its the most imporant thing you have that enables you if its good to enjoy the things you like , reach your plans and spend time with loved ones 🙂

Look after your health and others you know make sure they relaise how lucky they are

I am gonna eat now my right hand fingers feel compelty frozen but I will try make it through another night thats all I can do you know till I am better cause its like a sea saw any movement or something simple like washing makes it my health go down so I am going to be careful if I can please be happy in your lifes make them more happy things arent good but you can work to fix it give it a try 🙂 and Good Luck

We can be lucky, like my Mum she fractured bones in her face when she feel down the steps and I could have drowned or if had a poor family could have died from my heart condition not being look after , luck maybe who knows can it exist but dont push it stay as healthy as you can lucky is good but not lucky lucky lucklu 3 espically if same poblem simple example bad driver crashing on 2 different days I hope they either learn or dont drive you know cant keep pushing luck simple example

Hugs to you all this is probs the only time I write something like this unless we all get serviouslly worse or something bad ect I even wanted the other day just little bit about how I enjoyed the James Bond films but things happen and right now this is far far more importnat

Wolverine is my fav cause of healing – cause I hope in future I can get that chance to heal my heart and live longer with my own family and hope others can become healthy too if they find a way for that but right now like with the denist thing there’s possible solotuions on the way but some could take 10 years for clinical trials so at moment look after teeth too and health cause dont rely on a cruthc that doesnt exist yet that fixes all have the most health you can so you can overcome the bumps in the road and live long happy life long enough to where they fix all cancers or wehere they find healing ect things are coming in health advancments rapidly but keep healthy as you can like with the teeth thing I learned how hard and time consuming it would take to grow like 2pm like mm or such of dentine imagme needed to fix your whole teeht and I’m terrtible at this and new future things on the way would desints allow it though and had a big talk with a densist friend months ago but now I see its not soo simple even if scientists are working on it and denstis actually approve so keep healthy for as long as can the less you have to fix or the doctors for you or the less servirver the operation cause you had good health the easier for them the quicker you reocvver its all rainbows if you dont like statrt with a broken car like Kurkaustz demenstrien in a vidoe , keep storng healthy sun cream hope my Brother can tell my Dad use suncream he always in sun my cousuins’ girlfiend who is nurse told him its not about the peeling and evither way he didnt listen and hafl face looks like pastry you know near the eye and our neighbour friend who I helped today apprentyl he is around same age and I was stunned he looks 30 all dark hair healthy good

age gentics all can play roles but one person being 50 doesnt mean same health as other 50 , our actions ect can rapidly age us or slow or steady so people who are like I’m 70 and old no point keep going and help your health any little way you cn age shpouldnt be an exciuse like I have bad this I am done – I know things happend and its harder as older you get but my point is nobody who sees me would think he could die he has heart problem cause I am young and look it but doesnt mean I am invicnible or got years and years in the tank or who knows inside things can happen to people 40 years aold even babies with cancer its not the number its the health and yes not all can be controlled yes but do the best you can to look after in and out 🙂 22:04

Take care everyone please please love you all hugs and good health 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 21:52

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

Hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I am soo glad that saved I coudlnt do that again or remember like 80 percent of what was said how how to say it I know main topics but yeah phew I clicked send before I copy and saved it in case it crashed or was too big phew phew phew maybe that’s luck

When I am better I hope and all worries hopefully cool I’ll talk like films ect less like bulky ect back to noraml oh I forogt what happend before why I finallu went I need to say , I have time saved but I was watching screenwriiting advice on Youtube and at some point I just felt like everything caved in like was I fozused was I even here how is time like this I thought it was later but now and other ways ect I typed to myself so I might just send copy another time ha but yeah thats why I started my previous post about mentall illnesses can develop but had to get what happend acrosss on the days leading up to it , I just felt like that famous looking in you know whats real how did we get here months and months have gone and I dont remember nearly anything and even today and other days it was like how did that happen like there was gaps ////  –  //// and time gaps yeah I was like woah have I been soo stressed or the fever too high yesterday that I have done brain damage and like that fauge state but different that writing vidoe I listen to lots from that guy took a break from him for a while but today at that point I wanted to learn make the day important you know and something just caved in I know the simple line of what he was saying others I watch for wriitng advice say the same but he said it soo high level it was like oh dear writing and screenplay is even more impposible he spends 9months just working on characters and like at some point maybe I said this all in previous box but at least in messenger note to myself I felt like things to put simply caved in , is there a god, I’m still alive will I live much longer , whats the point , wow time gone fast, but its not the time I thought it was I literally I cant explain maybe I did to myself but I forgot now hours of typing here but seriously I felt at 21 years old I had a mid life crisis on top of the worst day of my life yesterday and worried even expexcpting me or my Mum or both could die that night , and getting better , now worse again and something in that vidoe me sitting here something snaped and I was like this isnt right I want simple again like I said to myself or Melda yesterday like to look at Molly our doggy 🙂 I keept looking at the christams tree back and frothe couple minutures and like opened my eyes most to see the world like just something smapped and I not physcallu felt gonna die but just something about who I am what is life and concious and the days and weeks and months gone by I cant remember nearly any of it nearly been a year since we moved and I can just remember little times of swimming like a little photo or scene just like 5 seconds or walking with my friend maybe 2 weeks ago that time the day after fruit picking or one of our recent walks but I’ve been unwell hasnt happend for what seems a while but I acutally if I remember was some point this week like 1-th-18th you know like I told him my family is getting unwell and havnt messaged him since so its not even long ago but feels like it was soo long I cant remember just little snipits that I did it and a snipit of the location not even what we talked about I just remember 22:17 he takes his dog with him I even forgot his dog till I thought and typed this memory now like something I am trying get rest and feel good when sleep like today I stayed in bed longer to recover ect but its like my meory is fading since this ilness and my Mum had this after her fall like couldnt remember stuff and even now I notice and she knows

but I’m young no fall maybe too high of fever but I cant check but seriously I notice I am like goldfish memory today when someone says do something even if I knew it maybe cause I am know to often ask a question to a question or check what I have to do in case I forgot but like today my Mum said bring this boxes they are tiny I have literlly forgtten if they were plastic or for washing pegs , christams stuff I have no idea , but I went up the stairs and put them where I thought I knew it was this spot I had to but I was soo confused why would it go there – outside my parents bedroom door on the floor in front of the like atticy door like in Corroline a door on the floor with a lock that film terrifes me and it close to the stairs so could be danerous and I thought did my Mum said in her bedroom like on the floor somewhere in ‘bedroom’ and I was thinking my Mum woudlnt like that or for me to mess this up so I left it there outside the locked door went down the stairs to ask and it was right all along but I had gotten soo confused after “can you put thesee two whatever? it was outside the ‘atticy’ door on the floor” in a space of 30 or less seconds from I’m putting this here as Mother says to compelty getting confused and that used to happen to me like that famous walk in a room and dont know why, that actually happend to me in past and when younger maybe more but of recent years the check you know what to do cause I get stressed like with working at a fish and chip shop the order was soo confusing this then this then this for ages and maganeging ticekts and trying to learn to drive like when I had to reverse park from side on and like far enough away into a spot I was soo confused what is first what is this I couldnt do it the teacher and I asked her many times can we can through it again like I listen but step 1 step 2 stpe 3 extra in proper words and sentences cause I was soo nervous drving and the lady who taught my Brother who is perfect driver and she is mother of school peron I know and married to my favioute P.E. Teacher on top of a manual car that I paracticede like 1 day years before and other time for like 20 minstures trying to get out of a ‘parked’ position and reverse in a graveyeard where I nearly crashed into a stone while at like a junction cause everyone telling me different stuff anf I paniked but that was my ‘practice’ before years later in a car on public roads ect witha proper teacher assaisinng me I constly listen and totall couldn remember what we had to do so I think something in stress like when your like adrialine maybe or something that film thing were they zone out its like that like you listen and nothing sticks so that heppend to my today in a much less stressful situation where I did simply pick up the two boxes and go up the stairs and had forgetten what was right so I dont know if I genruinlly have losing it in my mind for stress reasoons or fever ilness ect but yeah and this vidoe about screenplay mentally I was like in myself like I thought what I’m here why like what happend ect I’m simply on the sofa and nothings changed with the room everything in the world is same as days ago you know the big pricture like where we live ect nieghbour the country but I felt like something was wrong and I used to get that too a lot when a kid maybe sometimes when a bit older like having terrible days like where I split SuperMalt on my new Lego Harry Potter Christmas Top and everyone was furious I think my Brother bought it for me too and that broke my day wosrt Christams what have I done I’m rubbish ect and in day years ago maybe 10 I think things got better but that used to happen a lot I mess up and thing worst day ever I’m rubbish ect and somethimes I feel that now its changed where I dont feel I deserve anything espicallu for Christmas or Birthdatys I can explain more later and yeah so its do I deserve it no I dont feel I do like in SAS tv show sometimes they ask recruitmes are you confident withyourself or someting it was on tv today and bad thing happen to a polition and ruined her caerrer and they asked her about it and its crushed her belive in herself and stress ect soo much so she doesnt have that flight or fight response in her nervers that a stress and terrible things happen to her phsyically affected her nerves so who knows if fever or the stress I have been through or worries and its more than one day in mu life but who knows if recent times

sorry all thank you and I have fever now and hot around my lips I dont wanna go through this all fixing spelling mistakes for this time sorry 22:43

took a break to talk to my brother 22:42

Take care everyone

Regards – Declan Sargent

[ps1l0v3y0u @ps1l0v3y0u]

@oochillyo

take care Declan. You would think Christmas should be a time for peace, relaxation and healing. But it often doesn’t turn out like that.

🎅🏻🎄🥂🍩💤

[Juniperfish @juniperfish]

@oochillyo Sorry to hear you and your family are not well. Sounds like a nasty flu or Covid to me, with cough and a fever.

Get some rest. Once you feel better, I think you might enjoy Kurt Vonnegut’s writing (if you haven’t already read him).

[Craig @craig Emperor]

@oochillyo

Hi Declan, I’m just putting this out there for you and for other people who find this a hard time of year. I don’t particularly enjoy it myself, if I’m honest.

If you are in the UK you can always call The Samaritans on 116 123

There are other ways to contact them too.

Samaritans – Contact Us

I hope you feel better.

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

 

I literally scrubbed everything apart from my traditional hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂 from what I wrote of about 30 minutires I’m not totally sure right now but time is 23@07 and I can check later and maybe update you all if your intrested

I know maybe I’m weird or its a kind of OCD but time checking time recording is really important and yes annoying for me but if I had perfect memory I wouldnt care I could say at exactnyl 22:33 Luke jumped out of bed haha I thought of name Luke cause Sarah Jane Adventures Luke has perfect memroy 🙂

I cant belive I did a like 90% full bin and re write but maybe was best and I did learn little things but had to start over cause it was a jumble even for me and like what my Brother told me yesterday and like its crazy like a re write in books what I’m saying and the tone is compelty different than what I wrote before wow its like a parraele or like a split a new time line haha that idea of time travel and paradoxies and maybe we could time travel like but it would create a parrele version of us I think I havnt listened to this stuff for a while I used to but since being here slowly just learned to keep going and when we are settle (by here I mean our new home and the country we have moved to not about this forume dont worry 🙂 ) then I will like re enjoy the stuff I loved and feel like I’m not wasting time espically if I had a job or a next step

You know I just discovered like 10 mins ago I wrote the time when I relaissed at 23:04 now is (23:12) that I can extened the box like woah 🙂 I never knew or I messed it up ages ago and didnt relazisse cause I even thought hey this is quite small but thought maybe it was cause of being at the bottom of a page 1 2 3 4 ect while typing haha but now its like a massive sheet of A4 paper and I can see like clear paragraphs , see me write yes smaller words cause I zoomed out to 50% cause coudlnt find a shrink writing option like on word so thought ah my words too big cant see much at a time zoom out laptop but this is perfect and feels likr writing a book but proffesionally and makes this soo easy like it looks neat for me 🙂 in chunky paragraphs how I was kinda stessfully taught in school haha which is another aspect I developed from writing stresss at school that stuck with me but it looks lovely 🙂

I proberly will send a before and after noticing this feature in addition to the slopy to be frank (what does Frank mean poor people named Frank sorry x kiss to them and hug 🙂 ) but yeah it was soo jumbbled even I was lost but this is amazing maybe it will still be tons of writing and lot of scrollng for those not zoomed like I am enought to see Earth haha writing technicuqes that maybe shouldt use haha its confusing really 100 different interperations but yeah it is soo nice for me and I really do feel like I stepped up and like its all natrual this is what I needed to see everything all the time I nearly said the film name and was thinking that is little funny then panicked in casue of copy right and seeing rude so changed to all the time but seriously its like my head and eyes were on the leaf and I could see a little area at a time like the Dummeing Grugar Effect explained visiolly the shadow of unknow and little circle of light of whats know – but its like that and I just stood up and saw the whole leaf or like a mircrosope 🙂 this is soo freeing and helpful I was noticing I felt like this is smaller as I said before but now I know I can fix it on my screen its not a forum technical think that I was like seeing 10 lines of full text at a time with 3 gaps in between so 13 lines now its like well –

– to 34 then I hit wrong button and it was all gone and big blank page but phew undo button 3 times fixed woah 23:24

yes 34 lines and 5 spaces 23:26

Its crazy I stuggled to count from 3rd line down to 7th yes there is a gap line but I was couting the words first and I was struggling to keep coutnting in one chain over and over and like I had the panci its all gone but I have it pasted on messager in the little screenshot box and when double checking when I did undo cause I was about to count when I aciddently made everything vanish better than magicias on X Factor I counted on the little picture in messenger like to cross reference with this and I counted faster no problems no confusion and its smaller yes I had faint idea it might be 34 but wasnt sure I even thought it was 31 or 32 till I saw my wiritng about 34 but like something just was soo easy about counting paragraph lines the thing I couldnt get past 7 to 8 without stumbling over and over and I fixed that in like a minute of that problem coutning better faster like it was nothing the whole thing in once quick go woah – seriously something is there in the mind , physcology ect , sometimes like I said before I wanted to be famous or like listened to did something imporant and I’m not super genuis but like a lot of famous people in history that made a step forward for us all they noticed a faint thing and it grew , like OCD maybe and like speech inpedements + that condituon where its very challening for a person to say anything but they know what they want to say to even like stroke affects I’m not a genuis or qualifed and I dont know if I’ve got it all wrong and I do feel I may have been rude and offensive to people suffering with these hardships but something is there like when I read a book and you know I all struggle reading but I know if I know the words that like follow like if I know  say cause I am really sruggling with reading but if I knew 3 words I could push myself to say all tbose 3 words in one go like he sat down – say that in my head like anybody would talk he sat down, even in comics I found it such a challenge to remmeber what was next the next word where did the sentence stop sometimes in the middle for books and or comics and thats like I say one issues layed ontop of a mess where I struggle with reading but is seriously I have gone off off topic but I dont care sometimes I need to do that maybe to relaise there is a bigger picture than me or something I’ve noticed and put as much effort to highlight it to others cause who knows others could tell others and something could be noticed and helped or fixed espically in this modern world like sometimes I used to see on the news person with condition only 1/3 have in the world type of thing and awarness of something most nearly all never noticed or care about is important to raise awerness for and highlight and learn how we can help if can be done

 

I know I wrote tons and lots the track miles ago but seriously I wrote tons before and deleted it pretty much and when trying to go simple I cant it seems and I noticed something about me while trying to sooth this out while learning the box can be grown in addition to shrunk and maybe thats how we need to treat the world to open our eyes and minds to look out and grow from the small to the big and notice something you never know and maybe was hidden soo well but could help others like that dumming gruger effect (maybe wrong spelling) and I sort of felt like a momentuous occasion sorry that I forgot how I wanted to say the notice something part but hope it makes sense but yeah like the visual diagram/picture you see for that ‘whats outside of knoweldge and what little we know’ maybe here has simply shed light on there’s more we could learn and I’ve opened something up or maybe just me but I wanted to highlight that in a round about way and I forgot what the top section was about before I had this woah moment and literally my whole point being here today on the forume to post a small thing which I have tried to write for maybe 2 hours haha I wanted to talk about memory loss like I did before , that 30 second kinda of blip and literally noticing it again where I couldnt remember simple a to b events of did I go loo then dinner then mouthwash these elements were the key but I didnt know which order around the meory key chain they went I love that sorry but wow 🙂 I used to be like this a lot (23:42) where I would think something soo amazing woreded right or an idea something and nobody knew and if I told it like to the news I would be famous full stop you know I used to have like flashes of ideas or words in my head note pads of wow thats a like scientific discocroy or just knowing something others would never think I knew or an level over that and like these ‘invention’ ideas like umberallas for washing lines I still think of this and love it I guess I had this spark and cause your a kid or even a teenage nobody cares or belives you and like I noticed its gone that rarly happens to me espically since it used to be soo common I knew I should have been listend to not selfishly but maybe I had something that could change the world or help people even small areas if someone could listen and do it

One time and yes I’m not a genius or superman but when I was 10 cause I remember this year the most for lots of reasons –

about 5 girls or 7 not sure now and me +2 boys there was another boy but dont know if he left half way through that year or very start of the next and this is year 4 for me

I have always been shy as nobody can tell haha even today shy with new people still and look noboody thinks there’s a million 10 year olds that are all genuis althought you do get rare cases like Eienstine or people just naturally smart at younger ages not sure exact age or like they do work above thier level lot of films like that moving to uni when they are 14 cause super smart – Young Sheldon example ;

And in news tv films ect – are you smarter than a 10 year old , spelling Bee’s ect there are really smart children and young people and I’m not that I dont know actually noboddy well I dont have a way to test but even at 10 I’m not a genuis the other 2 boys well actually pretty much everyone in that year group of mine and I was a year older than most of them reaching to 2 perhaps with the gap between me and youngest in our small class – all of them pretty much genuises and some more than others like the person who was the oldest till I joined and they at 10 years old or younger (and moving through the years of school each year obviosuly haha) I remmebr them doing papers and talking to the teacher about like the mass of the sun and doing like algerab but soo complex and they all did 11+ and me no like this was and I cant belive the most smartest people I knew

and so to my point in year 4 at age 10 shy me in the corner sit of the room with one of the best teachers asks a question and nobody knows but I do I am not joking I did but I was soo scared and shy and there was this kid there who my parents knew his parents since we were babies and so I knew him in points of my life but he bullied me like really bullied me even when I was 5 and terrfies me to this day that guy even my Mum (19/12/2023) said to someone past week how that kid told me when I was maybe 9 or 10 I should die , and that I wasnt anything really I mainly remember the die part for my health reaosns and it hitting me like a rock couple weeks ago I just listening by accident to my Mum on call about my like mental stuff and I thought it started later and I knew I had few visits with a nice conucisor when I was young but it all blanked out from my head how much I was bullied I knew it I’ve always know for example some in that class cause I said I didnt like a girl who I loved my first love and stupidly told someone at lunch one day and she on top of the stairs I remember it soo clear – going to the extra learning help flat out asked me do I like her and she was at like nearly top of the first flight of stairs and I was on ground floor and I said no cause I knew I would be laughed at and they turned that no between me and one person yes I lied but to protect myself this nasty girl who I see what she posts ect today and how horrible she was to me of recent year when I tried to inform her about a health risk to herself and others like try to do good cause her ‘do this’ could harm lots of people including her and that girl I liked in six form went through that and was in hospital for weeks and she hates me to this day that six form girl

I sometimes dont know why I bother when people can be soo nasty and rude when you try to be kind and helpful when you’ve known them too for good time

anway I said no and I I belive cause it happend soo fast it must be next day that nasty girl and that kid who bullied me , I was walking to the place where the lunch hall starts to eat my lunch and that girl near the extra toliets where you go right to the lucnh hall she out of knowehere come up to me or noticed me if I remember I think she was exiting the lunch hall or literally like 3 feet left apporaching it and she laughed perpahs but she was soo nasty and called me Gay and I was soo cofused little 12 year old me and I was going to get to a table to eat and everyone that scary kid , the other boy I think really smart guy too and maybe few others girls all there laughing and looking and some saying words like gay ect its like long time ago but I remember those moments not precious sentences and the girl I liked on her own and like she couldnt stand me and everyone called me gay for the whole year and that was the last year in that school

so yeah I write lots lots the track a million times but those people and that kid bullied me from joinging near end of year 2 I went down a year when moved t0 the last year year 6 in various ways I was shreeded by people on soo many occasions I do remember even 10 or more years on and I forgot soo much my Mum still knows and said on that phone call – and that phone call just learning what that kid did to me all I forgot and he is the reasosn I hated school even more and thought I was better to die and told my parents about what if I die ect ect he was the pillar of why I had my first councilour and I blocked out the cause to effect all this time till last week or so like wow

and I have tons I remember and I’ve been builled a lot from people in that school to secondarry school soo many ways and I knew I didnt like school when I was young like 5 or maybe more cause new exporence but at some point I really wanted it to stop I hated homework thought it torn my family and me apart lots of stuff I could go into honest but I know all my ‘school life’ I’ve been buillied not every day but maybe years consecitive in cases and key punch in the memory moments

I remember my first nightmare and the one after direcetnyl after and maybe the third but is maybe lost now somewhere in my mind

I knew when I was 5 or 6 cause we had neighbours in a nice little colldysac not sure the spelling I knew one of those neighbours was a boy Billy – and his best friend Alex and I was 5-left that school turning 8 years old that Billy lived on the same little seculted thing as me couple houes left and my literally next door neighbour was maybe year older and he scared me and was very villiont but also at times a friend maybe most often if not terrfied and I was of him and his house and his family and watching Harry Potter bus scene I think maybe 6 years old for a breif momnt in his house and corraline too a big chunk of that and he did stuff I can see myself why I was terrifed but kept falling for it (00:11 20th) now I see it and right it now and my first bullies one a niegbour and his best friend bullied me in that school I was terrifeed of Alex espically this close to me villiot neigbbur boy I didnt really till now like I said see him as bully I was kinda friends and even he went to my big school and I saw him for a time and was like wanting his friendship and when seeing him in corrdirors or saying I know him to the boys who I am same age as but moved year down so not in thier class they woudlnt belive that but I say I know that guy so I think only now I see as danger with him

but yeah first pre school I think there was a bad kid maybe I was 4 I remember a bad day though tolit accident you know being 4 years old maybe little younger

there’s good days yes but each school and has you age and can remember more maybe stuff got burried but I know it now on top of what I knew recent school bulliying ect like in seoncadary shcool so yeah maybe its all why I am shy still and have troubles meeting new people ect literally again forgot the point of this and not to be like please comfort me but something somewhere when I was typing there was a point and I will know it some day when I read all this sorry if you have to read this all probepty best its left frogotten and in new year I will come back small stuff like I said little talks and leave you all alone for a while

If I could write this much this quick of orginal stuff like my book or doctor who stories I would be like wow it would be soo useful and maybe I would have finsihed a book by now and thats weird too like massive massive chuncks of this I never thought I would type or say or do and I am now actuallry faintly saying the words as I type like in Doctor Who one word at a time not sure where thats from  or a horror film like if you say the word it write it like whats gonna happen the more you say I know that somehwe ahhhhhh 00:17 I knew it was Doctor Who was thinking of like that aniema that bad book think or Until Dawn ha but its like the Angels Take Manhatten where reading the book causes the events to happen its like that right now where I am tryping this word at a time and talking the word gentle as I literally type it I really do think soo fast and just noticed I was doing that and it remindime me of something cause normally well I think with this much writing this fast I dont say anything or even think talk like I try with books maybe thats the difference like I am making the words yes but I am not trying to multipe task my mind and my mouth at the same time while reading I just fly and my fingers like I had little talk with my brother about not needing to look at the keys yes I make spelling erroes ect but I am not looking at the keys I look at the screen and I am doing that now in a like 4th wall breaking way you know like seriosuly this week or soo has been soo strange from like extra setentual dread not sure the spelling to like feeling out my body in a way to typing at talking the think I dont know I will type at the same time what is this week of crayness I am not like coo coo but wow I do wish I was like being tested by a doctor or something for this skill maybe of extreme typing and like what it means to me for me my brain and its activity ect my middle fingers joints are feeling numb too wow how can I write this all or even a little less is still a big chunck for others like my typical I’m sorry it was a lot which I do feel sorry about but its like a rythem how can I do this with no planning with like dozenes of side tangets faster than I could speak all this one thing and I cant scratch out a few setences of my story without gridning myself or in an odd good day what is this —- about — ? I dont even plan like anything I say when I get to rambeling but in a book its like gridlock the dictorinary term (I slowed down trying to spell dictornary and sped up again right now haha) but why is this easy eays I cant stop its like, if I could keep going for long time more I could not tired much hands this is soo free flowing whats in my mind I am not even aware of it and yet at school or writing my book I was never never this quick on laptop or could write soo much what is this I am fast but the zoom out which I actuallty have wrote soo much its getting cramped how can I do this and other stuff writing typing reading is a roadblock to no where no this ?

 

last night I was trying to keep warm and sleep cause unwell and all of a sudden and I told my Mum this

Side tanget I noticed sorry 00:28

– it was like something in my brain just woke up and I noticed like the unciousns who knows but you know that thing where you hear a song perefcryl in your head even without the music of that song – it was that which I’ve had many times in life and has faded away and maybe is a sign of brain development like that nostaigica Vsacue vidoe maybe nostaiga feeling occurs more when we are young and stops at like 30’s or somethign I dont remmeber exact cause of brain development ect but I dont get that I hear songs much anymore

back to now 00:29 just started haha I was trailing off sorry but last night before midnight night so the 18th I was trying to sleep and like I said something went off in my head in my mind and I got that song effect of like Prince I could see a song I literally dont remember what it was now but at the time was soo clear it was like a radio in my head and it wouldnt stop but not just that of films , of scenes , of names , of others songs , literally I cant remember but like everything at once just anything it was crazy and even when I knew this was going on cause I was awake I couldnt stop singing the song and one I rememebr now was about Rocky the boxer and a song I must of listened to eariler in that day but just everything overlapping that song perfect word for word Mr T also was there maybe Baywatch husslehoff and whatever that song maybe purple rain by Prince or something or a james bond thing I could sing the first part over and over and over again perfectly even when i didnt want to and was trying to stop and shut off my mind and I was like kinda awake I was looking at my bedside table yes in the dark at first cause this exprience like jolted me and I wasnt asleep I was trying to get to sleep and when it occoursed and I quickly noticed this was wierd I turned the light next to me and still that song ect all this happend even with the light on and me literally fighting myself to try and shut it up but it really got stuck singing those first couple lyrics and tune or if it was a theme song over and over and had to phycally turn over and like just in a way pretend that part of the room didnt exist I was away from it and trying to shut off this literally like radio tv thingy in my head what is that I have no no idea apart from my Mum said cause of Fever and she saw vision stuff when she had the fever not sure which day this happend for her as we have all been very unwell but she said the fever made her like see things and I have heared of this and know this makes sense in that way and all this fever affecting brain and mind and your kinda awarness was a main reason on top of a lot of others reaosns that led me to a panic thinkin I might have given myself brain damage from too high of a fever for well most of the day and that was the day before I think the day I really thought I was going to die and told Melda all my sympromts ,  but no -last last night like going itno the early hours of the 19th this sudden like radio I even thought there was like a light I know but like a kinda yellow light simialr to the one I’m under now ha but like as if it was in my mind like an xray but I could see it a area of where probelry my brain is situation in the skull seemed liek pow and just going on film scenes dialagoe songs ect like I said espically the songs and lyricas which is why I think of it more like tv and mianly a radio type thing something crazy happend to me that time untill I had to push myself away from it its crazy even I was awake and had the light on and knew its my mind stop this cause it seemed like that classic radio song that goes into your ear and you remmeber sometime it was like that but only for like 5 seconds cause I dont know how long but I felt bombared with everything at the same time – of which I can remember and described here like movies lines , Prince and some repatead song , Mr T ect I said all of that all at once and sometimes and this was brief it was like a classic disney thing where its on the note pad or Micky Mouse is on that boat and its like flip box animation it was like flipping to different things that still had like more than 5 things going on at once and it would aslo go back to things I thought about in the previous barriage like people I knew the faces of Mr T example film scenes ect but really that Prince image like purple jacket sparkle ect that got stuck along with a begging of a song I knew well that moment but had thought of or remmebrr or heard in years and a song that was either Prince related but compelrty different from the song I didnt even know I knew but the one I feel like maybe was Prince (as I sit here typying trying to explain 00:46 Morning) related or that I know word for word the begining of that song was on loop and I think Michiele Jackson appared in realltion to this song and or with Prince in a like flip book style where in my mind everything is racing and I see Prince and I see Michele and then example Mr t Then Prince and that song which I really dont remember but was on loop just like the first setence or whatever of a song like the first couple of lyrics with and I forgot to type the actually perfect tune and beat ect to this song as clear as day timed perfectly thats why its like a radio I could see Prince and hear this song and the song all parts of music and songs you would hear like the insturments or vocal changes ect ect was perfectly clear and pefect to how I could see myslef knowing the song was perfectly correct with the ‘real world version’ that my subcionc or whatever was playing to me I knew it was pefect I could sing to it you know thats how clear it was in my head I maybe even sang to it at the start cause in car jounreys the music ear thing thats when that most often happen to me when I was young or in showers and I would try to piece the next words and try to keep the tune how the voice sang everything as best I could and it was soo like only could do brief to like hearing it example if in shower as if I could again hear a radio next to my ear this time or in front of my head and I could sing it along with the tune in my head this happend to me a lot there’s a scicncy think VScause even mentioned it like that humdingger or whatever effect but that night (recent night) was soo turned up to 11 I was overwhelmed I thought like I saw literally inside of my head but with like a yellow light and it was a side on view as if I was on the other side of my bedroom and looking down a bit and like had I dont know laser zoom something even thinking of it then and now felt like Simpsons and like where they go in 3d land or something and his head is like clear it was like that for a bit not sure when that occursed or such but I can see it I can like faintly see and remember it (see as in picture it like from meorry kinda clearly) soo weird and then I was mainly whenever this zoomed out x ray type head thing happend or stopped mainly it was the close up I can see music vidoes or Prince dancing or Mr T or Hassolf Hoff moving I guess I could see with that head thing it zoomed in and was like one of them old fashioned 80’s radios like had anntenna ect (like we had at home but a more modern one actually) and then it became that classic turn table music device with the stylus right and the disc spinning it was soo weird but mainly got the images as crystal clear as could be of people , famous people , words like quotes or funny moments form films or tv shows like Joey and Pheebe from friends maybe Racheel too at the appretment where they played games night the main studio room set , powerful moments from films like a desert setting and old Clint Eastwood , then Indiana Jones like the film version so could see Harrison ect it was soo strange happend in a flash like it jerked me then strarted to scare me espically the part where the song my mind kept going over the same lyrics and tune over and over and Prince and him dancing in that purple sparkly jacket and like leg kickin and turnling round the micstand with the micriphone attached was the main image I saw while this song looped and didnt literally stop I coudlnt stop the song or singing and hearing it and hearing me sing it at the same time in my mind even when I was awake with the light and trying to block all these out all of it and the reaming elelemnts like the song and Prince and like few others out my mind but the song I coudlnt stop singing it hearing it perfectly but on that shoort loop and I was soo terrifed and decided turn over facing the other side of the room so looking at the door and moving a bit on the bed to that right side ->

and literally as I type and try to remmeber as much I can and still can see a lot and focuse on different parts now like meories one at a time like the radio in my head I can see I am remembering a cartton moment that terrifed me when I was young and still does to this day if I ever remmeber it and this other one more friendly but still scared me and I saw it on ah our dvd case in England while back and probs when backing to move

and I remeberd numberjacks haha when trying to work out how I knew the second scary memory but yeah all childhood tv shows now stuff like the trains ones ect the scary one I dont want remember I watched a remeber this 2000’s kids shows things earlier this year or such and it was soo like relaxing and intresting then my nightmare show in a way was in the video and all the tramar and genuine fear came back to me as a 20, 21 year old and I told me friend about it and he remembers watching it too when young and even now just thinking and typing this and trying to get this section done as quick as possible cause I can see it can see the vidoe clip about it ooo

This was long really wow though and I know tons spelling errors I kinda wanna go cause 1 Its late , 2 typing is noisy when typing quick and not good spot when have to be quiet people sleeping you know , 3 if I go and take maybe an hour looking at each spelling thing ect I will go like crazy re wordeding typing more remember more it wont stop for a while its crazyiss last night or my last big post one of them took me 3 hours I checked from type to send or it was both combied cause I did 2 big posts but still wow and this is probs about same oh and like 4 I am trying to avoud the show give me hug number 4 haha but like numbjerjacks ok 4 is my ‘speical’ number I didnt want to say/type lu ck y just like yeah something about that right here I dont think I am comfortable with espically as I aciddently made point 4 about the show that terrfies me and want to be done with it ahh but yeah 4 is important to me example how I know 4th Doctor 🙂 and other more important personal thing but yeah 5 staying alive who knows got that song in my head now can I stop what is this I dont feel tired my eyes little watry more so the right but think I brushed something near them a moment ago (Bill and Ben Flower Pot Men) I keep thinking tons of childrens shows but yeah Draw with Louie I think it was draw haha wow but my hands not really any tired nothing more so given my index ? 4th toe right foot left to right like numbless but wow it went fast and no pins and needels so yeah happy days it was a crazy one and all started with memory ha 🙂 who knew hahahaha 🙂  01:16

Actually plus re write from deleting first chuncks and nearyl coming up to 3 hours since Melda messaged and I was focused on this and I dont know if I was typing a lot already here when that happend or getting started but now I can realax and say Bonjour something fancy I hope to Melda yay 01:18

Oh and thank you everyone for the support I was soo wowed by that when logging in today and yeah rememebred if not somewhere in what looks like draft 1 of a journal to my wonderful life like a homage to that Steven Hawkins Film I hope I got all that right 🙂 but yeah to life and who knows how much living we can find like surprises and joys 🙂 🙂  🙂 🙂 01:20

Take care everyone stay positive love you all hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

this box looks soo small now haha with the zoomed out magnification the same 🙂

Woah I think nearly a whole page in one haha hole in one 🙂

I feel like a little Jeklin and Hyde this is my calm careful spelling correcting ease me especially after hours of wow haha but yeah Big Cook Little Cook was another show haha 🙂 wow maybe I should do this ? more often like if I write a lot and maybe a lot less yes than whats above but then have zoomed out still and it looks like a little summary or an explanation section could be its use ect I forgot what I wanted to say about that first part like my finner review process lets say haha

Thank you all for kindness and I have just gone too many words where its moved down even at zoom out haha so keep it short me haha

thank you all mmm its a book for those who love to read although clearly by a 10 year old haha sorry 10 years old it was cause all the spellings errors and yes I saw the s on spelling(s) and got rid and then decided nah here’s to little 10 year old me who had a lovely year 🙂

I had more to say even after the end haha I wanted say soo much and now I forgot ha oh my see maybe more sleep and radios hopefully a good song no stuck loop, ah yes fixing spellings was one when I said I am better in small chucks with spellings and then rambled and maybe not I am too fast stop haha

I would love someone record me cause you can see where this is going and it started small and was pretty much ready for send hahaha fingers say no and I brain me my name say mo , po Kung Fu Panda , I say yes sorry I tried to rhyme now time for bed ahah he said 🙂

Fixed it at the end just about thought bed and then said how but can see my working mind in progress with the parts like ahhh haha just hopefully you don’t see a radio in mine haha 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I’ve zoomed back in some more 75% and can see woah its like writing advice better word than massive erm Glactaus haha like Marvel ect – and I normally have my screen at 90% and sometimes 100% so I havnt done that yet and was just like whoops I look soo selfish for writing all this blob espically with all the spelling errors and things I didnt see but is gonna be really annoying for people to try and read and mainly I was thinking hahaha I wrote a whole page like 1 2 3 on this fourme – sections and pages , and I dont think I did but either way I feel soo stupid and sorry that I like a sandwhich englufed the sympathoy and support line you mentioned  @Craige and you know I was looking for this and at same time if I had done a page and relazised where is it and hence looking and maybe the looking was after that see how much thought – but I thought maybe on other page , no – I like totallty eclipsed it and I’m sorry

I tried make this short too I really seem to struggle with that maybe my Brother was right its a skill and I’ve got a major like problem with it like the reading thing nobody understands well that’s how I thought but you lot cared erm but maybe trying to stay focused but thank you all for care you give to me who don’t deserve and is probably the most annoying here , I was thinking if I type a lot and my posts are therefore so like noticeable I might as well say good do good highlight good and have to go now cause making noise but

Thank you @Craige for highlighting and giving the link to that helpline especially around Christmas time never know even if your in or close to that situation when you may need it and they could be really helpful to you even if you think you don’t need it /yet or that you don’t deserve

Deserve you do and help yourself too sometimes like take care of you and others too 🙂

So goodness I hope to highlight most 🙂

And maybe that’s a way to use this ‘thinking typing lightning’ for good here and maybe can develop elsewhere and flourish our little flowers – humans nature world life good health love 🙂

Any suggestions to help me help more or what we could do as a group/community lets talk about that or let me know too maybe here in follow up posts or actually maybe its best a new section either way Good Luck and maybe my none stop typing if I can type good messages and things you all wanna bring up but like as if I am the amplifier not to boast but just cause I seem to type the most ha but yeah let me know 🙂

I wanted to make each day matter , count , do something right that I will be happy to look back on after this week really bad stuff happend and in the late evening I thought and expected my Mum and me or just one of us would die that night on the 17th and kinda since then 20th wow I trying do or make something important in the day like I learned a little language the day after – I guess this whole talks are important to even if I sound bannas with the previous ones but I think has importance at some level to others and is very important to me and thank you for listen

but yeah I dont say everyone has make every day perfect or cant forgot for a bit ect but think I said here somewhere over the rainbow cause I’ve wrote like books worth here and pieces in my own book haha or defiantly what I said to Melda 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 but life precious make each day count be proud of what you did and the memories in your life for you what makes you proud like example I tried little language learning , next day maybe read a book its a challenge but that would be like yes it was good time used 🙂

Positive let me know what you all think

Take care everyone stay Positive Hugs Love Health Sunshine Kindness Help and Hugs 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I know sounds silly but numbers time ect maybe like an over reactive mind about it I’ve said brief before like time checking I do a lot and is important and annyoing at same time to me so I know I’ve wrote lot to put a mountain inside a tea pot when I say ‘lot’ hahaha bit like the Tarids but yeah I didnt wanna leave today’s date on 3 messages I know but please mainly why I used to type tons even maybe off topic stuff or in all the sections avalaible just look its not the only reasons or maybe a big think and just keep it short I tell myslef but yeah in time maybe I can explain that aspect of my brain.

So I watched bit more James Bond films – had to refrssh my mind as to what the Winchester is about sorry if I talked at  .. there’s a word I cant remember but a lot and possible the wrong talk for this section sorry deeply but I hope my helping and deserving words all true from my heart still are seen and reconsizied as imporant even if they are in this section

My Eye feels bit painful probs red and dry, still quite unwell havnt even been outside apart from breif like 20 steps total looking at the car park when family is driving somewhere and I watch but really havnt been outiside since this cold or whatever it is – no walk with new friend so yeah but I guess I could do somethign like read more ofcourse James Bond back to back for 2 days in a row kinda distracted me hahaha I will know it all one day ha 🙂

Good ones again today but I think was only 2 or 3 films this time not the 5 watched and still going till midnight it seemed as was yesterdays Bond erm avalablity who knows what words I was looking for there haha.

Had soup before late cause was shivering and hot then boiling and shivering and boiling in a never ending cycle I didnt move for dinner till I was shouted at like 30 mintures later to eat haha

Seriously this cold lets put it simple that way this cold is crazy its like if I move body temrperature isntanstly chances or I am dizzzy or something else often like 5 things like with that radio thing – its like a roallercoaster even my Mum said about how she felt she said rollarcoaster

But yeah past few days I’ve noticed if I stay in one spot I am fine like temperature stable but move and we go like yo yo and all the moving and stablinging ect head banging problems happen when moving ie I watched like 5 James Bond films yesterday cosy as can be not yo yo ign haha

but yeah to put it short its not like that simple all the time like its not hot to cold and back every time I move a step or such but just if I go from one idle location to another the walk there or having to do something seems to ruin all the body’s systems for me right now so I better off I thought in one place but the night my Brother and guestes were arriving and I 3 hour typed a post trying to stop typing haha I felt like tighening of the legs so maybe I sat in like a postion as if you were on a four leg chair but a sofa so legs down cause the knee bends but my back on sofa’s back (dont know what its called) and laptop moslty placed on legs near thighs and that maybe for hours did no good for circuation that time even though I leart these past days rest and dont move very much haha

But tonigth the reasons I had soup soo late – I went loo freezeing upstairs like I said (somewhere in my posts) and when got back it was like yo yo cold , boiling , hot , ect I got my jacket around me and huddled for warmth I got too hot or my head comfortbly looking slightly down like craddlle possition the heat probs cause the blood went all to my head and that was boling again and on and off soo fast every time one temperature I tried to change back to ‘normal’ it swung the other way to the extreme I was literally waiting and trying to get normal temperature or warm enough to wear I could move off the spiny desk chair and go to eat dinner and everyone complaining how dinner was ready ect and I ate on my own after 30 mintures of this and about to get music on cause was still yo yoing and was soo told off I had to go eat soup and first bowl was still quite hot so if I had that when everyone else did I would have burend my tounge haha and then what my Mum said was a bit left was actually anohter bowl worth and I wanted get back to lapotp and relax and body temeprature stablizing and warmth as fast as I could so swallowed the whole thing after tiny spoon check for temperature in like 3-4 goes hahaha 🙂

Rambling on again but yeah I’m still not well well very unwell still but its either 1 medication I keep getting forced to have cause I’ve lost track how many tablets ect are in the house and who’s meant to have them, but my Mum says take this have you took this (I dont even know what I’m meant to have like nothing was given to me by a Doctor but hey oh Mother knows best 🙂 ) and even now I was typing soo much I havnt had the other tablets hat are on this table and the drink as of yet whoops haha

So its either these constant tablet stuff 8 hours gap this but take this other thing too all the time lot of stuff and more natural stuff like honey in warm milk which I am used to and know is good and herbal things 🙂 or its 2.1 haha maybe 3 that I am trying although I would do better on a desert island for all I try haha to stay still or wrapped on the sofa stay in one location basically and I feel pretty good none of the scary serious stuff happens then only when I move , go to freezeing upstaris for loo or asked to do something or move form a to b cause dinner ect or fetch / carry something

but seriously this is soo new to me but I relaissed like I said either here somewhere or to Melda or myself to remmeber it – past few days I’ve relaised dont move is working apart from the sitting postion time where I think it screwed up my blood cirutations in my legs

but if I stay put like on the sofa watching James Bond all day ect I recover from any problems I had from previous overworking myself to carry something ect and all the things I said above plus about baically anything thats not ‘rest’ but yeah I feel great not great like fixed but much better every morning after sleep cause technically I just lay there and turn as I do in sleep but its a slow movment thing right and sleep is good ect , and if it was laying in blankets on the sofa even if though I’m awake and watching tv or on laptop / both often haha / I’m fine its just when have to move from a to b or do something it goes disaster soo easy like that roaller coaster yo yo and I dont know if its the medicne tablets extra wearing off but always get the worse effects when the day is longer like later hours of the day like 8 ect 9 ockicl ect to late espically if something previous done me in haha even yesterday cause new day now 02:24 haha I was fine when going to loo dont know mid day like there was light , I went loo at night and took bit longer and that like everything went loopy again freezing , hot , boling the dinner missing event all cause of that and I dont know why cause upstairs as I have noticed as become the coldest area suddenly over these few days but didnt effect me before that late dinner time , well time even with sleeping last night’s sleep (new day) I I had my sliding door open a bit for fresh air and most nights I do now quite open and was fine I think the none momvent of sleep and laying down on a bed or sofa or being still apart from fingers typing when on a chair or if reading a book its all working to help me reover I feel like 80 percent good maybe more every morning cause of that and then the stuff of the day drags me back to crippling in a way illness and fear the other night it was soo bad my Mum and me or 1 of us could die , and that was a day of tons of stress over overdoing things of being ask to move heavy things or clean a lot and that like was the closest again I felt to I’m gonna die and not cause like I told me , Melda or here somewhere not cause of being like in an accident like a crash but from a health losing reason at 21 so yeah short and sweet I cant complete sorry

soo much going on right now guests , Christmas , family and me being really unwell , stress of moving here like trying to get that fixed like puzzle pieces lot going on and I guess my other half wants to say it and not forget it ever but then I feel soo stupid I keep doing this and sorry everyone

I’ll write some book things maybe and send to show you all maybe that will be more positive and east as pie 🙂 not like rocket pyscoaneltic science haha even that was very tricky to write.

wow 02:33 that word above / is a real word not something I thought I mashed together haha and I was gonna close to spelling it right for a new mashed speedy word – psychoanalytic ta da learn something new everyday  02:35 20th 12 2023 🙂 love and peace health happiness Sunshine warmth company family friends love health joy hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Good Luck everyone 🙂 and good Health appreciate it while its working 🙂  stay strong 🙂 love you all 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care stay positive hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[winston @winston]

@oochillyo  declan, it sounds like you and your family are having a very bad week. The whole family being so ill this time of year must be very stressful and I hope you all get feeling better soon. When you are very sick your body is under stress while it fights the illness and this can make you feel anxious and worried.

As a Grandma my advice is to get some sleep, or at least rest ,while you drink lots of fluids and eat what you can. Stop worrying about your Mom because she is probably worrying about you and your Dad and Christmas and none of it helps. Just be extra kind to each other and help when you feel up to it. Watch some nice calm happy movies or Christmas shows to help cheer yourself up.

I hope you all get well soon.

stay warm and cozy

 

[WhoHar @whohar]

@oochillyo

Hi Declan,

Not much to add to the advice and support offered by the lovely people here (@ps1l0v3y0u, @juniperfish, @craig, and of course Grandma @winston ).

However, it does seem like we are online at the same time quite alot, (Maybe even same time zone), so feel free to reach out if you need a chat, and I’ll try to respond in a timely manner (I noticed your posts yesterday but was out and working, so couldn’t respond).

 

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

Thank you for your kidness again soo gentle and kind people are on here , soo used to being attacked at school espically for being kind that I panic that all my rambles and like what could be seen as complaing would be like soo frowned upon but thank you

I am downstairs now , was talking to myself well texting myself about current symptoms just to keep it recorded –

I know colds, more like powerful colds that leave you in bed ect and most of my younger life espically on and on chest infections cause poor school teachers leaving me in the cold sitting on a bench when I couldnt do P.E. and I would be soo unwell and breathing poorly-  the reason I left that school in year 3 cause I was constalty getting sick and the teachers didnt listen and my medical things I know illness a lot but this week these days has been soo extrememe and sudden like I had little cold few weeks back and was like fixed from that by day 2 and just wanted a 3rd day of rest to make sure but this sprung soo sudden like my Dad being unwell my Mum too and I think close quarters with them it got to me and aprrenntly a lot of people in the villiage are down with something but it was like 3 or 4 days ago now it like rampt up soo much and like me had like everything going wrong – cough , something stuck in throat, dizzy , fever , joint aches in legs , white toung which I still have and has spread a little more , runny nose ect ect chest pain too its just all like bang and that night 17th I coudlnt breath for a moment cause the throat cough thingy and saw my Mum had the same thing happen 30 seconds later and everything really scared me how poorly we had been for soo long so thats why I was soo terrifed and certain we could die something serious could happen and thats that like Wolveirne healing you can heal but not from like film case a laser fired at Wolverine then another then another all at time time you know if it was just fever ok but like have all these things kicking you down at the same time even the fact just moving from one idel spot for 3 steps made me very dizzy and temperature change that isnt normal level of sickness

Today I wanted stay in bed but Derek is here and wanted to see the first interactions between him and my Brother but I kinda missed that cause my good hearing I heard my Mum saying all the stuff in the desk chair is cause I keep rubbish and that annoyed me I thought nah I’m staying in bed but I do like Derk and wanted see the interactions so I did go down and missed the first meetin and all the panacks nobody told me about which funnly enough I’ve just been shouted at to collect haha , keep away from people and rest not to spread germs and recover and its like nobody sees that when I am in different rooms or feeling the other night we are all unwell my family and my Brother and 3 more people visit and we all sat elbow to elbow first night’s dinner like these guests are elderly people one of which smokes I dont want to add more risk to thier health but its like cluelessness about germs spreading its be like a welcoming peoples to our guests which I understand and is normal but when you have flu or whatever this is which I literally bounced back from other cold in 2 days and this has piece by piece crushed me and my Mum down for getting close to a week thats not something to sit round the table with you know

 

I would do soo much different in my own house my own space I would probs be well by now if it wasnt the constant close quarters or small areas to be apart as much as can from others that just walk round coughing ect ect not getting themselves better like working on that as much as they could like my Dad going on a hill walk or digging when he was unwell or staying in that cold upstairs area when I told him its freezeing and you think ofcourse your still gonna be unwell and any other point in my life they would tell me the same like cold area cold room bad like my first bedroom was a box room and cold cause was the otuside walls of the house and I got sick a lot and thats another reason we moved to our other house in England before this one so you know common sense of rest and dont look at tv or any screens and stay in bed ect ect has flown out the widow for some reason from being here

Literally that big talk with my Dad it was mainly about my Mohter not resting pushing herself when needs to rest and getter better in various ways and the next day or 2 my Dad is in the coldest part of the house or walking the Dog in the cold Morning and I’m thinking what is this and I told him ‘going on a walk’ ? your not well ect and its like I got a batterd response soo crazy I seem like the only common sense about illness around here argh my stress oh I had another radio brain moment last night maybe its some fever effect or I’ve lost it cause it was like brief film scene stuff I belive and I knew it was happening like I know this thing now and I shut it down fast and it stopped so what is that about who knows ??

Thank you for listening again I’ve lost my talk little button hahaha and not even eaten my actual pancake which I was complaing about having none earlier even though my Brother defending me 🙂 thought I had eaten 1 already so good thing this time that slipped past my Mum and I have one to eat cause I could have ended up with ah ok someone else it eat and I wouldnt want to complain espically in front of Derk, my Brother and his partenr cause like I would be in a world of trouble and feel even more underserving and ruining any love or care I should have this close to Christmas well I dont expect or craving for this love thing but I just want to fly under the radar for now as to not make Christams even worse like I already have lost love for Christmas in past few years cause feeling underserved of anything and here this time I have to put a brave thankful happy face cause Brother here for first time , first Christams here for all of us and new guests and maybe 15 people coming around the table which given its 5 days away either we all turn into little Wolveirine and flues fly out the window or common sense say cancle the extra visitng people but given everything I’ve witness that would be thought about belive me so criky spread the germs not the Christamas spirt and joy it seems oh dear and my Mum was crying a bit yesterday and everyone had gone out on a look around the country thing when my Dad went and probbs drove and wasnt well again lets be out when not well and they only got back very late and it was dark from an hour look around to like 5 or something and it was night time coldness like what is this but also just me here and my Mum and Molly 🙂 and family stuff on the phone made my Mum cry and yes I am very shut down of how to help and plus didnt wanna be too phyycal close cuase unwellness both of us and dont want to make the unwell last longer but I tried little hug in a way and gave a kiwi on a plate I didnt really know what to do and we had little talk after like gentle stuff finally first time in what feels lke ages and put the tv show my Mum like on and then my friend rang and said he fianlly downloaed that Magic game I was telling you all that I was hoping he would and I was overjoyed and like instatly perked up and something to be happy about and I tried all logging in and stuff and felt guilty for this and checked with my Mum if wanted anything or sit next to her and was no so I like did my thing and had big call time with my best buddie and relaxed and happy and at night the rest come back and that was the big soup night cause I felt soo full after I said my friend maybe I will rest cause I wasnt good for carry on playing games like very full and like just needed to take it slow I knew so yeah but ups downs spinning all around orangy lines in sneezes white tounge Christmas time white Christamas in a differnt way and sorry if this makes you feel quesy how do you spell that like feel bit like ooo I’m put off my dinner you know sorry if thats the case but hope can understand why these past days to week has been soo out the odrdianrly even for sickness

Thank you for listen its 1 pancake time haha 🙂

Take care everyone stay healthy if you can especially winter times 🙂 teas and camomile tea warm beds honey ect 🙂 stay positive love hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

Literally case in point about how things seemed to totally have changed being here than as was case in England – 10:13 now and my Mum about 3 Minutes in the cold in flipflops , pyjama legs and top oh and now 10:14 sitting out there on the metal bench what is going on soo fed up of how everything is backwards and changing

If I was out any moment and my Mum saw she’d tell me off cause cold and need to get well but oh no rules don’t apply to everyone else who is fine with that I checked temperature 17degress but forgot the name of where we live cricky I’m losing it so the one I typed in is other side and normally they are like ying and yang I hope that’s spelled right , if it rains there here no if its cold here there hot you know so who knows the temperature here but its very cloudy and cold so what is this I have no idea there’s been warmer days in England where my parents saying how cold it is urgh I dont know I dont want to be picky and complaining but I just feel soo like everything’s gone made constantly being told to wrap up ect when young and even to teenager ect like my Mum especially always worried I guess half normal but to an extreme concern that I need a jacket or need to be home at certain time before cold ect like I don’t know nobody listen to me half the time when I wasn’t cold it was days I was fine out but they told me off and have jacket or outside you’ll catch a cold or literally any time rained it was like if you are in the rain you’ll get a cold which is not scientifically correct or as any evidence for but they wouldn’t listen to that all the years I tried but now its cold I am not in frost you know but I can tell sitting here at the desk cause had to get the charger , in a jumper , jacket and long jean like trousers I can feel a cold let alone being outside in pijams

P.S. while I was editing this for a second time my Mum literally said all of a sudden she had a pain in her chest and my Brother’s parters was rightfully seeing that as a problem and asked about it and my Mum just battered it off like who cares type of thing and is walking in the cold down these tricky cobbled steps to the celler like come on why doesnt my Mum see this as you need to rest or warning signs nah lets keep pushing myself and in the cold outside why not like this is why I am soo fed up half the time and worried for my parents health espically my Mum 10@35 I feel dizzy now even sitting and feel like crying , I was doing well and the stress and physically activity my Mum said to do like move this or can you get this from upstairs ect that really did me in and just this stress and worry now not even moving from the chair I feel dizzy head like urgh I am soo looking forward to having a faimly of my own my own children and getting things right and not hiding how you feel away and pretending your Wolverine style healthy when something is wrong or your getting older and still think can do eve

10:39 I was mid sentence but my Mum’s phone rang and like my parents do they leave their phones around most of the hours in the day if they arent using them and so they go somewhere and I have to scramble in this big hotel to find them and get it to them on time and guess what it rang near the desk and my myself had to go out down the stairs to the cellera and yes I coughed a bit on way back but actually worse my head feels like its been compressed a bit at the front even while sitting back on this chair feels like a big weight there urgh 🙁 but I was going to say older people like my parents think they can do what they could when they were 20 30 ect years old phyicasally and worse they do more than they did back then espically my Mum like how crazy can things be I know I’m not perfect or a million families have various problems but from here I just like this isnt right and hope if I get a change to have my own family how ever long I have with them cause my medical condition I want it be positive and better much better than this thank you. —– 10:42 end of this post / 10:43 the time just changed ha I forgot it was an edit haha for spelling errors and yet again I go on rambling and things happen which I ramble about oh dear sorry everyone – 10:44

I need a holiday a happy one where things are normal haha

Thank you I know sound like my family are vampires or terrible you know of-course not but just a lot crunching and stressing me out and nonsense (especially as of recent days) I can tell as clear as day and I hope things fix x kiss and hug hoping 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive and warm hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Oochillyo.

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I dont know how many hey how are you’s you all can take hahahah sorry

Again with the chasing cause phone rang and the person who the phone belongs to this case my Dad is nowhere to be seen at it was the really important person who is helping us fix banky moving complicated stuff so yep couldn’t have been a worse time to leave your phone behind and it rang 2 times and I was upstairs after going to loo so didn’t wanna risk running flat out down the stairs especially in like these beachy water shoes that aren’t like fixed like shoes with laces you know they are more like chunky flip flops but no middle part near the toes, easy to shake or slide out off though they are good generally to use under feet with socks to I use to keep me extra warmer but yeah

I was thinking of positive things and like saying nice things on Christmas to you all here and most important phone caller and yet again leave our phone a million miles from ourselves and yeah oh dear but truly a little positive thing happened when I was in the loo seriously and wanted to short and sweet say so but then got fed up with the phone thing and how serious it is and I still don’t know where my Dad is and went out in cold to look over at car park and only my Brother is there so I’m not doing extra now chasing around and outside cold too for this I am not risking my health more than I need to you know not now I cant risk getting more worse.

So the positive thing 🙂 I was washing my hands and by chance in the cup that you meant to put toothbrushes in I saw little moth 🙂 I left my sliding doors slightly open for them last night and the fly that seemed asleep just above my bed side table but just then I saw little Moth guy and stopped instantly the tap in case it flew out the cup and into the water then I tapped the glass cup which woke him up whoops and frantkley (ps trying to find the spelling for the word and got measurements of speed and moving on fast from relationships hahaha 11:23) trying to dry my hands and find a flat thing at the same time he was moving and flying little bits nearly getting out the cup and I didn’t have anything flat to cover the cup before transporting so I used my quick thinking haha and used my other hand the palm part to cover the glass cup and headed for the door and had like one finger maybe the index or middle whatever its called just about able to pull the bathroom door open cause it sticks at a certain point cause wooden door around wooden frame simple enough to jolt you know with a hand but barley a finger ooo haha though I managed then had to re open my sliding doors after shutting them in case I was told off for cold air but trying make my room have fresh good quality air and I moved the door just and then pressed with my arm near the elbow pushed with that part of my arm even though it hurt and got little Moth outside and tapped on the glass a few times after waiting and he nearly flew back inside hahahaha but I was like air traffic control and waved my arms and he went inside the shutters of the sliding doors has shutter doors outside of them you see and he went inside there and I raced to shut the sliding doors so hey presto a Christmas Miracle and positive and is good I wrote more of this than the phone situation ah never a dull moment haha 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive and nature is lovely hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

Was just going through emails clearing time you know and Molly leaped from the sofa and went to the wood in a barrel section and I thought ooo something there , then I went back to sofa and Molly did too after a bit then again Molly moved and I heard a noise and then my Dad carried the box and I opened the door cause super heavy full of wood for fire , and I emptied the box one by one and little spider things ran out and literally a whole box and like stacked tons more wood on-top of that balanced haha so one by one very close to the end a big lizard haha 🙂

That wouldn’t have been good roaming around at Christmas with our guests hahaa but yeah looking after nature is most important 🙂

So I told my Dad to look and I got little twiggy and gentle pushed me out to freedom 🙂 and gave Molly 2 little treats for being a good girl and her detective skills and another creature / animal saved yay 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I know it doesnt seem good to have positive and say to others be postive and then in the next section say I’m hurt ect but thats how life can be and how turmoil it seems to be here at home 🙁

about an hour after great moment with my Dad saving the lizard I feel crushed and completly useless again in this business and nearly lost my voice trying to desmostrate the problem I noticed previous day about fire harzards and lightbulbs and electicty ect

Some more lightbulbs gone kaput and literally about 5 maybe up to 9 changes we have had to make on light bulbs in these past months at least since the first kaptu in very rapid succsion even after new bulbs for like 2 times the lapshade, that went yesterday in a flicker , another light in the fireplace room gone too this time on chanderlar literally a day after or on the same day I noticed one of the mini chaderlear stands lights had gone thats happend like 3 different times on these stands we have literally there is either as I can see clear as day a lightbulb problem or the whole system which I think is close or older than 20 years and how clear as day when 9 times had to fix various lights big and small in this one kinda area alone the desk area and fireplace are when I know in England it was like once every couple years you know but this is soo fast its clear as day and the lights are like gloomy you know like the modern ones are clear glass

Look its safrer, its more energy effiecent – the elecectric bill will be cheaper – it looks nicere for guests and not weird that we have old and new bulbs next to each other and I think the whole systems needs a replace if we could at least for now I would fix as in change all these lightbulbs but espically the lampshare which looks old and I even checked the plug socket today when pulling it out to discount when changing the bulm that is I think soo dangerous I’ve noticed just today the wire goes to the plug where you put it in the wall and the like case surrdoing all the electic stuff before the prongs the wire goes through a open hole and I can like see inside of it and if I was stupid enough put like my finger through that , and I’ve been yanking with such force this plug all the time for months when we had to use the plocke socket on the wall for charging laptop or the wifi or charge this ect and gosh I knew it was bad then cause the quaiolty and force had to pull to get the prongs out the wall and not even in a smooth motion like the prongs often were like half way out and you still had to pull hard , and now I know its even more dangerous

Seriously I have never seen something soo obvious a health risk this lightbulbs keep going , the Christmas tree right next to the fire which has a glass door but still could be hot , tons of plugs where the tv is on one like 4 section socket which is near the tree too and on other side of the fireplace is a like DIY tree of dired branches and underneath a reeve of that flamable stuff on a barrle in a circle and ontop of the fire place a small lip where hands 2 stockings and a massive spray of that tree matiral decorated , and we have 7 people in this house now let aline that Christmas 15 and yesterday last night I was going round turning lights off cause everything was one everything plugged into others things everyone on a device or leaving lights on , in the fire place room alone both sets of wall and chaindler lights on so thats 16 blubs of which some werent working like 2 or 3 all on , and the hallway singal bulb that is bright enough and is a celling light can illuminate that section alone , the massive like neon beam lights of the kitchen one of which also has stoppe working ages ago and they are still extremly long and bright , my light to see if I needed to that desk lap shade one I mean which I normally use cause the single bulb one is too bright but I had to leave on for others so I didnt have the lap on untill some point for a bit then it died in front of me like flickering and then dimding and I know wasnt right turn off and today my Dad just put a diffrent blub in and thinks thats good enought like cleary the whole lampshade and the wire is going caput if we’ve had to replace that light source for it 2 times the whole think doesnt look pretty like stained yellowy the lampshade and wires I would chunk it acutally cause it doesnt look good anymore and is dangerous , plus had the hallway lights that I had to leave on cause the new guests keept walking from thier room through the halway and around areas and back a lot and I didnt know when they would need to see causee its pitch black at night if you dont have those lights on as I have had to do walking up those dangerous stairs last night after the last of the 3 tiny steps in the dark where my Mum fell cause if I turned on the light it would be too hright and its the hallway one or the updtairs light and I would get told off by my Brother or my parents for waking up either of them or the guests so had to walk up last night after 2:30 or something in the Morning after writing my posts and getting through the funny medicines ect in the dark and feeling dizzy when trying to feel where the stairs turns right and getting very scared of where the last step to upper level is and stubbing my toe by accident after taking off my water like shoes to be queit and therefore more time spent on cold steps and carrying my shoes I even used them at the end to ty and pull them gently when on the flat and wait for them to lower in my hand signigling where the step was It was soo dangerous and I want to fix that soo bad cause we havnt had people for a while and stupid me I forgot and the first night the guests showed up and I was here tpyong and tryng stay well and in one spot when I went to bed I relaised ah shoot I cant make a sound I cant use the lights I’m nearly stuck on the ground floor unless I walk upstairs in complete darkness and I did again the other night

Either way I would love to fix soo much here , plus all the devices and kitchens stuff like firdges ect that night of turning things off I thought cricky never have I seen soo much use of elecricty in a home all at once I expect like I told my Dad in a way check the bill when it comes cause trying to make him relaise about the lightbubulbs and effiencey but I suspect the elcetrtuy bill will be massive this month

And my throat hurts and my shoulder from typing with my arm on the sturdy side part of the chair cause Molly next to me which I love 🙂 but the chairs are too small and stiff, but serioulsy I worry for our healths for the safty of this buildong ect we even had a near fire insicdne when we had some long time friends stay here and one guy simailr age to me was cooking eggs and compelty forgot at one point and set fire to his kticehcn in his room and was there a fire alarm n0 🙁 🙁 urghhh , lucky I think his Mum and my Mum both couldnt sleep cause pains ect unwell ness and smelled smoke but Miama mia like and we still have no working fire alarm I dont think cause there was no noise nothing previous literally smoke and burning of the room example

This happend at home also we had one that was sooo old I knew was problem spoosed to change firealrams like every 2 years or check if they work something like that andwe never changed ours it looked that bage yellow stain colour and I went on and on for years about it and what do you know one time I was watching tv my Mum like she always did and still does – everything all at same time , cook , while that’s going on do something else do something else and I knew we all knew she is like that and often heared her tell people like family on the phone or sometimes to people who visited how she did these things like in past tense but often was the present ah I forgot this ah left the tv on ah I got to get back to something and she was always multi tasking room to room so no wonder one day I was watching tv and next thing I hear my Mum screaming fire fire ! and I turn around to see big smoke and fire from the pan and , chip oil fire really dangerous and hard to put out and my Mum ran in and burned herself badly trying to put it out , went to hospital me too cause of breathing smoke , and neighbours we knew visited cause they were meant to have a massage and the husband visited after all was out at this time and like he told us we had to go Hospital you know which I wanted from moment one cause smoke damage let alone my Mum but like my Mum hates hopstials soo stubourn about it so really this neighbour had to tell her how it was you know cause she was more worried my Dad would be cross about burning the kicthecen area

and even now with the falling down the stairs and being uncious where I thought my Mum was dead cause there was blood and no moment just like weird coughing ect when I got help and somehow she was back to her feet it was a real protest to get her  to go hopsital like had to phone family members and even the paramedics when visit said there’s something wrong she wasnt making sense and still my Mum no I’m fine and in hospital saying I feel better sorry for wasting your time like she said to the paramdeics and she had fractures like eye socket that sort of region and like nose sort of area but was super lucky it didnt shatter ect or could be super serious and maybe go blind in that eye and need surgrgy but this is the point why I panic nothing seems serious enough health wise for my Mother nothing seems serious enough risk and hazard wise for my Dad to change and update no working firelarm at home even when it was needed most and we still never got it replaced the fire alarm the didnt actually work even when re vamping the house to sell I was looking at that dated yellowy alarm thinking thats bad looks terrible to new people and is dangerous and false safty and even here after a kitchen fire I still dont think we have any firealarms and I am worried at Christmas seriously cause I noticed yestersay the fire thing was hot that glass door wasnt boling but I woulnd wanr to touch I got close enough could feel little heat and that was with 1 log fading away no proper flames and the Christmas tree is right next to that oh my how is everyone clueless to this

even in England some nasty people stole stuff from our garage from time to time and no we didnt get a burgalr alarm I couldnt sleep well anymore espically after training Molly to notice these things cause Dogs are better than humans at hearing ect and I am the best in my fmaily and hearing but having Molly is a aid too in that aspect and one night I woke up cause was light sleeper I guess espically at these points feearful others would break into the garrage again and I saw a light when looking from my bedroom window , I warned everyone – nobody belived me cause I had this I hear I see things soo often cause my hearing is great and was paranoid but this time was the real thing someone in our garage and my parents were soo like angry to him and viloten my Mum with like a broom and my Dad like threating words but he seemed like homless or such not tooo dangerous but you never know although cause they chashed him out the Police never found him soo I think that was stupid I know at the time but argh very annoying for me cause I got it right and he was free and my alret and paranoier went up even more and I heared stuff and went checking soo often still like before this man inccident and after for years on cold nights takking time to check garage like bracing myslef with something and nerves and opening the door , getting to the light switch , checking around the garden , behind the shed ect ect somethimes looking past our to be frank very unsecure gate this ruined me and here I can relax about this stuff soooooo relax but case and point we never got a burglarr alarm we never fixed the secruty I tried to tell my Dad over and over his attempts werent good I.e. when coming home from school if I was home alone or just tired and wanted be home quick I just give the gate a kick and its open or just reach for the lock and pull bacl if it was ‘locked’ it had no pad lock nothing good and even when my Dad tried to fit that bolt thing as I said I could reach that if I was a odler person like a burglerly or taller or had tools , like reach from arm going over the gate

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a gate like that which curves , it was like a wodden base over metal like striped , and if you had a long enough arm you could get to the right side and reach the lock lever and pull it or as I did just use like clippers garden clippers or other tools that my Dad left out in the open for all the world to see on the driveway ect soo much junk I could easly get in each time to the garden and when he tried fix that lock he put where it should go like when you lock a bathroom door and the metal part goes into that grooth thats hidden inside the wall he made that as a pience of like wood like you would see in woodtech like a sqaure slab but small like a 1rd3 thickness of a book you know piece of wood drilled into the over 1oo+ garage cobbled wall and the metal thing didnt even fit or line up right so with all my force and nearly damaging my hand many times I couldnt even put the metal chunck more than like 2cm in where its meant to act as a lock it was just soo poor the handle area that it was to be a previous gate you as I did use those garden clipers to easly grip the metal bar and pull it left to undo the gate it was soo poor and I knew it and used it to get in from school most days like easier and quicker than finding my key ring from my school coat and getting in front door 90% of the time it wasnt even locked and I would just come home quick jog down our at time slooped driveway and one kick I’m in and at the garden or often happend the wind was enough to open the gate and I was always worried little Molly since she was allowed out into the garden when you can after they are certain age I was always worried she would go out onto the drive way right in front of the busy road and 2 bus stops in front of our house I was always running out to check the gate and shut it our get Molly quick or she would follow my Dad as he walked with something like wood work whatever to the front or back to the garden and leave the gate wide open and Molly eas able to  walk out it was crazy

and Nothing about fire alarms, burglar alarms, the gate , anything genuinlly serious was ever fixed and my peace of mind was shattered every night paradoind about someone robbing us and going to the garrage which is next to the wall of my bedroom and what if they climbed up to my window ect ect or what if there was a fire ect ect just constant uneeded stress and paronoie and walking out most nights to the cold wet garden looking around with a torch or no torch for like 40 minutures or something checking every sound every inch cause it was compelte darkness always checking the garage preping with a broom or Molly and locking the glass door with a broom cause it had no lock again soo stupid and easy for people to burgal it which we had time and time again but oh no the boy who cried wolf it never happens till it does and even when I was convinced cause I checked and was trying to open the door and like I said no lock they are glass plane doors to the garden side of the garage cause the other bit is broken and slightly open but the garage was soo full of junk espically at that side you would have to crawl to get through the driveway section and if you were a burgrly it would be eaiser go through the clear path of the gate than in the dark round stacks of boxies nails on the floor ect decades 100 years old gatage of junk or our stuff too just pilled in there , so even if I did open the door on garden side anyone could hide in that garage soo easly and I was coniced that night case the handle was stuck it wouldnt open and I was pysically giving it my all my strtenght trying to open the easiet door of the whole house and saw it go up and the door pull back ect ect like I was fighting someone on the other side trying not to let me in and this when I knew this was it someone else was here and I was soo terrifed but trying to fight the door open and nothing and I was yellwing at top of my lungs and my whole family nobody heard me nobody heard anything this is why I am like the securty thing and Molly too we ear stuff everyone else is obvlious like the time I heard things and saw that light and it was a real person and my Brother was still alseep the whole night of that and my Dad had to be really shock and convinced someone was there that I had seen something to even bother looking that time I was right –  this time the door jamming I was screaming even next door (semi detached house right like 2 hours joined together) even they heared me and turned on thier bedroom lights but nobody in my house did and when I had to go upstairs in my house to alert everyone and by the time I was listend to and they were folllowing me back downstairs to the garden to the garage I said like dont go in there person is there call the Police over and over telling them get the Poilice after ages and I think my Mum looked or my Dad one of the two briefly looking and the other and me warning there (my Brother still in bed) we got the Polie they came round did the usual went looking and what you know nobody there so I look complete stupid and waste of time but who knew they could have hidden really realyl well in all that junk or snuck out the gap where the drive way is or most likly when I wasnt guarding and fighting the door to stay closed after I relaised it wasnt opening and someone was fighting me I was fighting them to stay there after a while that is was it sorry my meory

After I sensed something wrong cause the door wouldnt open and then saw the handle moving door pulling ect I was fighiting whoever trying to keep the door shut and lock them there while screaming for help that was it sorry I got the order bit wrong yes I wanted to open that door and was trying that but after knowning someone is there danger I wouldnt let that door open I was staying there fighting the door handle for contrl and shut them lock whoever there but as nobody heared me I had to stop that after a while of in the cold bearing in my mind I sleep only with pants cause its more comfy I dont like pijam stuff and sleep with cloths when I am super tired I just doze off or am freezing and or unwell like previous nights – but yeah little not little but I’m not muscle (phew laptop died but this survived15:49 ) I’m not trained or a fighter I have heart condition and reaons I cant like get super muscle ect so just trying out of protecting my family and finally catching someone fighting that door and I had to let it go to wake others up and made me look stupid when Police couldnt find anybody but yeah the no lock glass easy peasy to open door doesnt just suddenly become unable to open and fight back,  someone was there I really am sure

I developed parnoi and like always listening out at night ect for many years previous and before and terrifed and stressed and angry nobody in my family would do anything about it even after time and time again people did break in and that Man was there my Parents chased him off and that was when Molly was little puppy and she saw it all and is main reason on top of my keep guard with her that she is very alret to little sounds of like the outside words like cars or is affraid of men in hoodies ect wrong time wrong place for little Molly but I dont know was it worth it look to have an extra someone looking out when clear as day I was the only line of device and alert system in my house and family it helped me like going in the garden at night with her or looking out the glass doors with her in the kitchen area it helped knowning I wasnt alone 🙂

And here much safrer nice mountain , not much people , nauture , fresh air , no high crimnal rates of England and constant targetting of our garage over the years

and even one night I was wathcing tv with my Mum in the like fireplace room of our house in England and the widoews there its basically the driveway is next to that wall/windows and one night watching tv I saw something and I did witness someone breaking into our nice neigbours car and taking something and his friend on a bike on the corner of the road on look out and I told my Mum and we saw it but no vidoe eveidence in time and it was night dark ect we told the nieghbours and cause I had seen the most went with the neighbour who were new to us at the time moved in maybe couples months back and went in his car first time driving around the streets looking for these people but sadly no and he said he doesnt lock his cars and he will like learn from that now and thats the thing learn and improve and yes it was scary again and another sign that road was a money spot targert type place other houses on the road had a string of burglaries of recent , people went on holiday you know and house burned down or other people who went on holiday house broken into and its all clear to me should have had more defences like that crime watch and shows like it tell you what you can do like Dont get done get Dom – Dominck LittleWood who we love in my family 🙂 all these stuff advice is there types of locks ect cameras but its all ah yes and we dont do it to my family

 

I seriously would love to have my own family and its peaceful in terms of dangerousness like crime ect its nothing much here in this area but espically back England where we were I would change soo much and do my own devince like in Home Alone but no soo extremem that it really hurts the intruder but as I say if I get lucky enough to have my own family which I would love house defence is one of the top I’m gonna make that exccellent and peace of mind for my children and wife cause it shattered me not even as much as ah there was someone after all but the months and months and years of every day nothing was there but you heared somrthing you sensed it maybe they espcaped maybe tonight you just dont want to go out and risk your life again and be in the cold alone in the dark and just hide in your bed is easier but I was the only one constatly stepping up and checking nearly all nights going out side if I felt nessaacry like if Molly wasnt distrubed cause dont want her waking everyone up if its nothing and checking around the whole garden everywhere behding everything even in the shed I forgot I did that – the shed was tiny wodden insdie but still had tool and a like really simple lock , those ouside its facing north then you tiwst it east (right) and it locks the door but thats not a like keep burgalrs away lock like they suggest a proper metal inside the door padlock thing on crimewatch but you know I had to check everything in case and there was a bit of a tunnel dug somepoint and extened by Molly at my Habitiate 🙂 widlife garden area I made 🙂 and I loved the hole cause it would help hedgehogs and other animals like foxes go in and out shame of all these fences and concrete bases cutting off nature as you hear in the news so I liked knowing there was a way for nature but its always a small yet possible route for burgalrs out of the garden so anything was possbile the typical climb the fence or they just break in to our home one day or with a weapon so I always had to check all the garden for a long time each nigtht and each possible hiding place like shed and garage

But yeah home alone style safty for my future home and ofcourse camersa , alarms ect but once there in its like what do you do next and thats what I want to hopefully improve like the ‘traps’ theme you see in home alone , the burgalry alarm didnt stop them but that kid’s constant traps drove them away and even like paint or like glow paint flouriesnt like you get on high vise could be soo useful if was someone you saw like burglary and you got them covered in that they couldnt hide in the streets unless they got rid of all thier cloths and even thene thats obvious something I would have loved with that guy who got away either a better look at him before my parents literally had him begging to to kill him and he ran away as fast as he could or like something to say its him cause this when Police are looking – they do have that foresic verison of this its like a spary thingy and it sticks to cloths for weeks I think and cant get off and these stuff has a like only 1 provider of these forumal or whatever so they can like find the same codes when like scanning the crimscene in some way and track it to the robber who would have that all over them like I heard this ages ago so not sure if it works they way I tried to say but can imagine it like scorpians glow under UV light right and this spary thingy seems just like water like same kinda dropplets ect so you woudlnt think as burlary being covered in that is anything cause you wouldnt notice but the Police who are using that more and more from what I remember they said in Crimewatch or simialr programe with that same really good presenter , they will be able to locate and say thats for sure the clothing or whatever that was at the crime scene and the person who was wearing it cause still got these advanced spary stuff and I learnt how hard even more so and time consuming it is to go over a crime scene very tough cant make 1 mistake every little thing you do has to be carefull thought out you know and like I think 3 pairs of that white crime scene suit you see when they are like trying to keep things from being contaimnated not saying just for news level someone been attacked ect but just like anytime they have to work on a crime scene have to change that outfit into a new one exactly same like 3 or more times wow big respect 🙂

Thank you for listening I dont know this is helpful to me afte once again being fed up after simple here’s a clear lightbulb problem they need changing or as a whole the old system of wires needs to be fixed turned into like stress and me feeling like I am runing things again before Christmas for the safty of others and trying to hightlight dangers I see and they go ignored and the frustration of trying to highlight it and what the problems are thats where people get fed up with me and I am fed up nothing safty wise is being taken serious or simple fix with soon effect my Dad literrally said to me something somthing you go and pay for it then ??? in a like telling off tone and each time I said to an effect of ok we can go to the shops and get them it was you do it then and you pay – like its his house and business too which I am trying to be helpful in and feel like I am useless and anything I see which could be improved and had value to the buiness and safty and look better I get shut down and I’m not swmming in money in fact I spent like an hour or more scrolling through junk emails trying to clear space trying to reach the start of it cause of tyring to find out how to cancel subscriptions and learning I could type subscriptions in my emails after googling how to cancel ….. the brands account for like tv stuff which I cant get in this country and learning just today simple stuff in gmail can do and going through all the junk to clear and I get thrown in the face after seeing anohter lightbulb is gone and having about 30 minutures of talk turning closer to argument rage cause nothing was getting anywhere apart from my Dad relpalcing old with newer ontop of old and that doesnt fix the whole problem or safty of old ectrcis old bulbs fire hazards ect and on a look basias it looks stupid too for a hotel to have one bulb old next to a new one and this is the whole whats happend to that fire place room now and one blub was soo dirty I was like how didnt you see that since he was the one at first putting the bulbs in and changing others and I tried to just explain the look and how he missed it why and I got like most I’m avoiding you not listening I could get

Sorry

Next year I really hope when we can big scale change stuff around they fix the health stuff too health and safty and the tiny stuff like bulbs , sitcking toliet buttons ect its a hotel not my mate’s flat you know and we could get more money and I already think its too cheap and plus I thought we changed the frdige to a new one , got a toaster ect little new changes whats the difference they are electical why are we waiting for all the old bulbs to stop working or worse break and cause a fire espically with the Christmas tree next to some of them why are we waiting for them to fade out and die then replace how stupid is that sorry but you dont wait for your 40 years old fridge to finally give up before you change it and its lighbulbs not replace everything , you dont wait for hospital equipment to rust down till they have new adancements what is this A its stupid seriously B its a health and safty risk C its not presentable cause this is a hotel and I’ve seen enough Kitchen Nightmares , Hotel Inspector and Property Brothers to know old stuff go espically with updateing old house I know bad electric should go and can be dangerous or someone did a rushed job or legally it doesnt meet modern quaitly and safty standards like you see in that show Rip Off Britain all the time things are dangerous and are sold when they should be illeagle cause crooks trying to get cheap deal not all people not all shops but you see it on that show and else where we know it happnes I bought this toy and it caught fire after 3 days and when they check no certified anything wrong and more often danergous flamabible matierial or poor electircs you know old stuff or dodgy stuff needs out and I’ve noticed here soo many lights and electric things like I said was on that night I would feel like we were pushing it in our updated home in England on much less going on let alone a hotel size worth of electrics and new things like new wifi roater and new fridge which yes more effeicent but a 20 or so years old electric system is not built for that and 7 people and everything on at once and new Chritams lights everywhere ect and it will probly get worse near Christams when those 15 dinner party guests show up I am worried no joke how many times I have seen bulbs and whole power cuts here its outstanding soo often I remmeber in England ahh back in my day when had a powercut we read a book thats fine I liked that I wanted that as I got older and fed up with things a time for a break or to avoid doing school work haha but it like never happend apart from the old occaion or more often the wifi would crash and thats that not whole electrics going haywire I dont know if I could have tons more money and run this myself or with someone who had exprience I would fix soo many when alloed to by legal stuff but I hope my parents do when they can.

Side note I heared at times over this year or when we were getting this new place we will have solar panels , thats great 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 I look forward but as I thought today after the stress and turning into a carnival game how many light bulbs can you knock out and like that guy Bradly Bolt right in X Men origilns Wolverine I feel like my parents have no idea what electical work they would have to do and update in order for solar pannels withing the next year or 2 if they wanted if things went well we would have been further ahead 3 years wating for this for reasons but currently I know things can wait but when they do if they still deciced solar panels or its my Business at that point I will and I hope they do get a proper electrican and might as well like Proprty Brothers say re do it all to be safe and up to date plus more efficent 🙂

Looking soo forward to my own house and family safty and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

I’ve got the James bond theme stuck in my head now live and let die I am serious mama mia , I didnt know this begging part of the famous song till it was on tv when I was waching those James Bond films and the day after a few more James Bond that it was like very wordy with meaning like basically how as you get older life can close your heart you know like make you colder ect ect and I thought of my Dad seriously urgh just want everyone to consitanly be more open and say ah I can listen and maybe I dont agree but not in such a way where I feel like a complete uless and only they listen to my Brother I dont know before he got her my Dad and me new my Mum would pretend everything’s perfect all sunshine and rainbows despite clear unwell signs and her mood would shift like happy beams of sun and its soo typical in my family this but even today and other recent moments where my Dad has snapped at me for helping him its like what we knew and said then he doesnt see he’s doing it to me now and now I’m on my own cant do anything right even by him you know and the understanding part which surpirsed me and tried to keep me calm when I was soo angry that day and telling him what happend and we all knew its like that with My Mum over working cause my Brother is coming no matter if it was a week or more away everything is a rush or doesnt have to be a race I always say both of those things soo often but its like that side of him cooled of recent cause of his crazy moving the tree idea and smashed something which wasnt my fault and I barly said anything agaisnt him but maybe I did and is my fault but he was shouting at me from point of smash the blub like I had knocked over the tree or something I can explain this stupid plan later if I can ofocuse I talk too much probs bored you all maybe next year doesnt show half of you asleep cause of me oh dear me sorry but it was that maybe other little things and this simple lightbulb thing I felt like why do I bother moving here and living away from eveerything I knew friends and all to do nothing usefull to the Business currently for months nearly a whole year and when I try I get it in the neck you know when trying to be helpful or say somethings like poiting out with the bulbs something which is flawd (wrong not sure the spelling something thats wrong) and could be improved and I get treated like stupid as if I asked for a sports car and was selfish – thats why I do things like clean ect alone in private when nobody knows I do it and I dont tell I did it I dont boast maybe I say look I did this but I dont go round saying what I did every little thing I did like my Mum used to do when annoyed or angry I did this clean this this this this amd always I was like I know but doesnt mean like you have to be mean or annoyed or you should have let me do something or others were (me too sometimes) doing other things it was like a listing off of everything she had done in the day like look how hard I worked and I know like we dont apprecaite enough and its frustration that she was feeling but the constant I’ve done like 8 things by morning while I’m trying to eat breakfast or the moment I wake up and walk downstairs or if I was relaxing like I got soo fed up of this and I do my stuff best cleaning , extra stuff nobody sees in private and I’m more happy that way , my own time not rush rush rush and conastly if I was example washing dishes my Mum would be over my like halk its not like that or do that you know I just I am not ligbtnihg maqueen or flash Gordon I always say Flash Gordon for things my Mum wants done isntatly like move heavy box to here even when I wasnt well as you all know as quick as flash which not everything can or should be done as quick as possible and my Mum gets worked up about people are visiting or guests not we have a hotel or my Brother weeks before any of these people are due or days if it was like a friend visit our home example or they would visit at lunch time it was all rush the night before and morning for that friend you know rush around for days for people we arent due in weeks its bonkers and why she is pushing herself like Firrare and it did me in too trying to take charge and she still wouldnt stop and rest and I had to rush everything no break done one thing move that do that do aftet that do this its nightmare and my point was for my Dad to like throw the gentle care he had on the sofa that night and me trying to help us all with stuff for our buisness that need to be better I get it thrown in my face now that care gone cause of what urgh

I dont know sorry again I really sped up there about the cleaning rushing thing wow I dont know how this is soo easy and book writing is like skydiving

woah its nearly 5 must of wrote for like  3 hours or so not sure and now can have the cake thats been sitting on the desk for ages haha ah I just need peace a break and for like common sense and like just people to learn , stubborn isnt good nearly any time unless your stubbonly trying to keep the burglery locked in hahaa see a little light not in my garage but at the end of the tunnel 🙂 positive 🙂

Can you imagine I am famous one day maybe a authoer or working with Hugh Jackman 🙂 or as the next Wolverine and they go to like what was this famous person like growing up and they read all my Forum posts woah hahahah they will be in for a shock haha thank you all for allowing me here 🙂 and allowing me space to talk and get the feelings out 🙂

Sometimes this is better than counciling for me you know how my exprience went and like having this being able to talk and all the other cool topics and lovely people wow thank you 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

ooo imagine if this fourme is still going in like 20 years and my children are posting on here too wow 🙂

Doctor who 80th anniversary haha and like transformers 10 hhehe 🙂

take care everyone here and then 🙂 its 17:03 20/12/2023 see you 17:03 20/12/2043 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I’m sorry I know I have soo many posts here on the Winchester sorry I just cant believe it after I ended my post and was eating my cake I was astounded that all this time since moving to desk to charge my laptop at least that time so was mid writing post I said it somewhere to now any point during that time I knew my Dad was in the kitchen but its just him Molly and me and I had no idea the fire was going with nobody supervising and I literally told my Dad all the problems and I am furious and he treated me like I was 3 ‘ ooo do you think this will catch fire and fire and better no cause you need your hands in case this’ ect ect like I was a joke my head really hurts I am about to check my blood pressure I am furious the whole thing I was worried about was going on behind my back and he treats it like a joke I even checked the stockings and certain parts of them are pretty warm I just think how stupid the nothing will go wrong till it does for this case cause why risk it its clear and like if it went out of control oh my and this is a business and we are trying to buy it and like we are not insured oh my this is I don’t understand I told him point blank why are you being stubborn why you never listen to me but listen to (my Brother) I feel like my head is I cant do this all day since they left he’s accidentally probs but found ways to wide me up soo much I am checking my bloodpressure

I just feel its another rubbish Christmas ahead and even if I wanted to be open and feel deserving of gifts love ect I just feel I’ve ruined it out of fury for the safety and just anger of nobody thinking straight or taking anything I say serious I’m soo fed up I want to cry

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8:11

right front side of my head like on the side more so but bit at front hurts soo much even walking up and down the stairs like not super pain just there’s a small like beat pain but more a big feeling like crushing pain and I feel little dizzyy now

I am not doctor but I’ve had this checked soo many times in my life cause my heart condition and you know what

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the second one is from that worst day of my life night where I thought I was going to die and I had soo much dizzy fever ect ect terrible day getting sooo bad

and the first is literally after another massive argument type thing with my Dad today just today just like I don’t know since 11 or 1 when everyone else left and its worse its higher today than when I was soo unwell I was thinking thats it I might die

my hands are kinda yellowy and there is just a quick pain on right side of my chest when I was writing this the last words of the previous paragapahs after checking spellings and like both sides and front left like before feel crushing

🙁

Take care everyone – I dont know what to do I should just shut up about everything and let people do it but when I see danger or risk or just wanna fix things I try and now I nearly cry

Please stay positive dont let me ruin your happy times and Christmas aswell

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I’m waiting for dinner so can have medicines – I let Molly out 🙂 she’s about to curl about now awe 🙂 love you Molly 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 18:03 and went upstairs to get the medicines but have lot of tiny chest pain now on my right side which didn’t happen very often and on my left which I expect , a lot of tiny pains and some slightly bigger ones on both sides each strength and laying here down trying to warm up ouch another big one on left 17:58 maybe I’ve ruined myself and its my fault and maybe I will die or something is gonna happen and I’m sorry for being really well not very warm and jolly to our from these recent days hope you all have good Christmas and times with family and friends and loved ones and look after nature follow your dreams 🙂

I knew this was around the corner as I got older but like I really feel like this is what is before the end or like a proper heart attack so I don’t know if genuinely I will be around next year so Good Luck to you all and please keep heathy as much as you can and if I don’t make much more time thank you for letting me in this warm group and all the talks and fun times we all had 🙂

Tale care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 and to my future Children well if they see this then something good happened haha but I feel like from the heart I want to write that and my Wife friends and family now and hopefully then 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent (Oochillyo)

[WhoHar @whohar]

@oochillyo

Hi Declan,

Thanks for reaching out. I’d like to reiterate what’s been said above, especially Craig who gave you some contact details of various organisations.

It sounds like you have multiple issues going on (your health, your family’s health, safety concerns over your property…). As much as we’d all like to help here, in reality you need to talk to some professionals to help you solve your immediate concerns, as well as any long-term issues. I cannot stress this enough.

I don’t speak for the Forum, but I’d say don’t worry about your multiple posts – posting is obviously helping you get through your day, and that’s a good thing.

Things can quickly become / seem overwhelming. What I find helps is to centre myself – you can do this several ways:

– meditation, or just deep breath and gather your thoughts;

– go outside / change your environment if only for 10 minutes – somewhere quiet can help here. You like nature, so finding somewhere more bucolic can help. If not, find a park, a tree…..; this can help stop a negative spiral.

– making a list of your current concerns is also helpful: it organises your thoughts, helps prioritise things, and it gives you something to tick off when you’ve done the task / solved the issue – remarkably therapeutic.  I did this just yesterday and it worked a treat.  YMMV.

Obviously, this being Christmas, if you’re making a list make sure you check it twice. 🙂

– focus on what’s good – I realise this isn’t always easy,  but it can be helpful: you are with family, Molly is there etc.

I hope the above helps, at least somewhat, and that you get some peace. Merry Christmas Declan.

 

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I was slightly worried (Edit at the start) there @whohar that I (had) said wrongs things asking for too much as I know this isn’t like a (Edit Professional help service with the capabilities and experience they have so here I know isnt soo) equal to a help line -Edited- but everyone here is soo kind and you all put a lot of effort in and I see that with others in the forume asking how they are after storms ect ect and soo kind to me thank you everyone 🙂 not sure if my first few lines there were worded right but hope the meaning comes across 🙂

Edit but you all are soo helpful and its very helpful to me little kindness goes a long way and more better than I could ask for you know thank you all and hope my (Edits) make the first chunk more smooth and easier to understand and hope the message makes more sense cause I re read it and it sounded like I was saying  I was worried of @whohar , when I meant I was worried I had sounded selfish and asking for too much and was going to be told off  cause I maybe said soo much that it was like I was demanding expert advice from a group of various lovely people who I know aren’t gonna be experts in the field of helping mend people’s lives I know this here is like a comfy pillow I am happy to have this little big various amounts of lovely people soo caring and to be heard hope the top starting paragraph sounds how I meant more smooth and thankful not coming across antagonising to you @whohar sorry if you read the first draft I guess in the writing world they say that a lot first draft then fix it up but truly sorry if you read my first draft with that top paragraph and felt understandably that I was attacking you or blaming you for replying to my concerns I never intended that to occur and I mean whole kindness to you not badness or anything unkind ,  thank you for putting time to reply to me and offer help 🙂 hope your doing well and we can have happy days hugs 🙂 really mean it thank you and if I over worried well hope my ramble powers haha are put to good use showing that I wanted to correct any trace I saw that I felt I had been rude or attacking to you and anyone else who is kind enough to help others – thank you all and keep helping if you can and don’t feel worry about asking for help too its not just me and I am learning this is a lovely place to chat all sorts and lift you up if things have been tumbling down 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Thank you and Good Luck everyone take care stay positive hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂  Edit complete 🙂 bit like Harry Potter spell there haha at – 21:58 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂  22:06 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Molly is next to me right now actually 🙂 My Mum was and my family family all in same room talking and tv and me here talking to Marco and Melda it is actually nice whole family together thinking about it , my Mum moved I think cause on phone call and Molly I didn’t notice when cause trying my hardest to help Melda at moment and have Marco’s support with that but yeah Molly was curled in a ball next to me 21:11 oh and back I was just about to say till a firework made her jump off the seat but now she is scratching the sofa and is about to curl up 🙂

I understand your advice – currently cause being very unwell and don’t want to risk more even when feeling better example I tried eat only enough was needed not like normal till full and healthy food just like 2 chicken nuggets and 1 after for instance cause they were split in 2 bowls and the other was nearly finished so yes I would love to go out and I love nature and miss walks with John and doggies Molly too 🙂 but got to get strong enough for a hill walk and it was tough after exercising went down for a while haven’t been swimming in ages busy busy ect and the walks were starting to get easier we did more and constant and I was getting stronger fast but this current state no way my heart or anything is worth risking for that I.e. the walk helping Derick up a smaller stretch of hill and not being pulled by Molly but carrying a heavy bag half the way nearly killed me but I hope to in future I can get back to that and nature 🙂 I barely step out anywhere these days like not even in garden just trying to get well 🙂

I think here I feel like school in a way a need a push to write and its easier for me although I do worry equally as much about the long lists of the problems I say I am going through ect but I do find this the easiest way to get those out my mind and ones I didn’t think about but were bothering me like a part of a bigger picture , used to talk a lot to friends like this about when I was suffering sometimes to people I trusted but found out and realized everyone hates it so I shut down and keep helping others till I break trying to fix everyone else’s problems worries ect give support to them and I was like generally bone dry of support back or if it came it wasn’t good , common stuff that didn’t help , game with a but …. I think that was elements but 99% of the time I just got attacked told off called a bad person ect or that I tore others down cause I was breaking and looking for support , even on that one site I got threated to be kicked out the forume cause I was asking for support and that worry was carried to here when I was going through the slamming of the metaphorical nailed door in my face time and time again and was soo worried I would mess up here and it was a fear like am I annoying , am I talking too much and I gonna be kicked off even till recent times sometimes I feel like whoops I’ve done it again talked too much  even today I thought what if new people to the group to the forume saw my posts and were like scared away that would be its too much I would feel soo crushed knowing I harmed this group and people who could have had a great little community to join to hope that doesn’t happen and that I am not pushing people away , please tell me and or others if this is occurring to you or others you know and maybe something can be fixed we want you in this group and I do to just I need to bounce back from this whirl wind you know

Right now I heard Marco saying he will help Melda so took a while haha but that’s good to hear on the call 21:25 🙂

So yeah thank you @whohar 🙂 I know I went rambling again and your points are super maybe that’s enough said for now others I would find a way to ramble about each but its about thanking you for your efforts and kindness thank you @whohar really thank you for being gentle and helpful 🙂 and I’m not super knowledgeable about meditation ect but thank you hope some of these advice can help when I can 🙂

Thank you @whohar 🙂 I’m gonna try take it easy for now so I will post now hope its all ok and thank you for making me feel like at east that maybe my long talks aren’t a bother to others that I must constrict but acceptance that its helping me as I had believed and to hear someone notice that not me but an someone else wow thank you that really mattered the most of what you said to me like stood out thank you warmed my heart 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Oochillyo. Reason: Feeling that I hurt @WhoHar's heart

[winston @winston]

To all my fellow Whovians,the tall and the small , I just wanted to say “Well done, Well done everybody, we are half way out of the dark”

I wish you peace and calm and good health. I hope you stay safe and happy and that life treats you well. Thank you all for giving me another year of good conversations about our favourite Doctor with a special shout out to  @craig for creating such a warm and inviting site. Imagine that,people from all over the world, coming together for polite,friendly conversation about a TV show. That is Christmas magic.

when life gives you snow- make a snowman

[Dentarthurdent @dentarthurdent]

‘Half way out of the dark’ – is that from The Hogfather?   Of course where I am (in upside down land) it’s the opposite, for us these are the good months.    Long evenings and warm weather – lovely.   I’m making the most of them.   But if I do watch a Christmas episode it’ll probably be Last Christmas.   Sarcastic Santa, what’s not to like?

Can I join in thanking Craig for this site.   It’s great to  have somewhere relaxed and friendly to talk about one of my favourite TV shows.

And, Merry Christmas and best wishes to everybody.

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

Hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

Good Morning Good Morning 🙂

Sunshine finally and is warm enough to have a shower after over week plus I know sounds silly but cause I would always freeze when getting out the shower and the shower has a mind of its own I didn’t want to risk it when I was very unwell and already had temperature fluctuations but today is sunny and bright and I am feeling better happy and saying Good Morning too all 🙂 nice and fresh hip hip horray 🙂

Today is going lovely 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive and warm hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Oochillyo. Reason: Spelling haha

[winston @winston]

@dentarthurdent   The line is from the Who Xmas special “The Christmas Carol” from the opening narration. Next one I watch is Husbands of River Song while I last minute wrap before I go to bed for a long winters nap. I like Last Christmas but it makes me sad and there is enough to be sad about without volunteering for it.

It is actually mild here and expected to be 9c tomorrow but there is a little snow. Not enough snow for a Xmas snowman but nice weather for people who have to travel. We have one son and his new girl coming for dinner while the other will bring his family after Xmas. Boxing day we travel to spend it with the misters family. So much food , so little belly space. Home made butter tarts mmmmmm….

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

stay jolly

[Dentarthurdent @dentarthurdent]

@winston   We just had Christmas afternoon at Mrs D’s sister’s daughter’s house.  Half the clan there, let’s just say that it’s not my thing but I have learned patience over the years.   One of the kids did a piano recital – if he keeps practicing for a few years he might get good enough for the Portsmouth Sinfonia.   One of the others nervously sang a couple of Christmas carols.   To put it bluntly – they were terrible.   On the whole I would rather have watched The Tsuranga Conundrum.   But they were all well-meaning and Mrs D enjoys it so, you know, I just put my brain in neutral and later on snuck into a corner with a book – Simon Singh’s ‘Big Bang’ – to relax.   I hope your immediate rellies are more – inspiring   🙂

Anyway, it was mostly rainy, so my usual lemming-like urge to head to the beach which is triggered by sunshine was easily suppressed.  I’ll hit the beach tomorrow.

Our immediate family are down in Christchurch and this year – first time for several years – we’re not going down to visit them.   No particular reason, just a change.

“The Christmas Carol” – was that the one with the shark in it?   As I recall, the villain wasn’t as evil as he appeared at first sight – just human.   That was an unexpectedly sweet episode.    I find “The Husbands of River Song” a bit sad, as it’s the next episode after we lose Clara, and it’s the last of River.   But Greg Davies was suitably obnoxious as the late King Hydroflax, and I found Hydroflax’s followers with the tear-open heads quite repulsive.   Were they the same people as cropped up in “Doctor Mysterio”?

[Oochillyo @oochillyo]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

Merry Christmas everyone yay 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care hope you all have a lovely day 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – (Oochillyo) Declan Sargent

[nerys @nerys]

@dentarthurdent Layer Cake – I didn’t really like it, didn’t dislike it, but I couldn’t stop watching – just had to see how it all worked out. And I have to say I was expecting a bad ending, but then there were several reversals in the last few minutes and I thought XXXX was going to get away with it and the final shock came from a totally unexpected (but in hindsight quite justified and predictable) quarter.

That pretty much sums up my thoughts. I saw it through to the end, confused by a fair bit but still able to roll with it. My husband was more frustrated by the ending. Like you, I found it to be a fairly plausible outcome, given all that had happened.

(Sorry to take so long in replying. I haven’t seen the new Who specials yet, so I have been trying to avoid spoilers.)

[Dentarthurdent @dentarthurdent]

@nerys   My email doesn’t do italics, I was just going to say how much I agreed with your first paragraph when I looked on this website and realised it was a quote from me.   🙂

The ending could have gone in several ways.   The DVD is still on my little stack beside the couch in the lounge and I’ll probably watch it again soon, I think it may be easier to follow now I have a rough idea of the plot.   I found that with its successor (by the same director?)  Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels.   In fact, any episode with a complex plot, I’m usually better second time around.

I haven’t seen the new specials yet, and probably won’t for some time.   I’m not too worried about spoilers on this site, I think the way new episodes have their own dedicated threads helps that.   I also find that, unless I can put it in context, the occasional isolated factoid doesn’t really register with me.    So until I see it in the episode, it doesn’t mean much.

Besides, being in New Zealand, I’ve learned to live with everyone on the Internet having seen any TV episode before I do.   🙂

But other peoples’ brains may be more retentive than mine, so I can understand the desire to avoid spoilers as much as possible.

Speaking of crime movies, last week at the charity shop I picked up ‘Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy’ with a cast of Gary Oldman, John Hurt, Toby Jones, Mark Strong, Benedict Cumberbatch…    should be a cracker, right?   But I stopped watching half way through.    It was just too understated, I just couldn’t get into it.   I can’t fault the acting, and I’m sure it was faithful to the book.   Maybe it was just me.   I’m certainly not into the explosion-a-minute Hollywood actionfests, but this was the opposite extreme.   I also picked up ‘Funeral in Berlin’, I’ll see if Len Deighton and Michael Caine can do for me what John le Carre can’t.

[winston @winston]

@dentarthurdent   Your Xmas day sounds wonderfully chaotic, just how I like it. This year was fairly quiet but there are 2 more  family dinners before and after New Years to get through. The Boxing day party was cancelled because of illness so today was nice and lazy and 9C and sunny!

I got a Tardis book bag and David Mitchell’s book ,Unruly, which I cracked open today and am already hooked. My daughter sent me a great garden bench that also works as a kneeling pad with handles to get up again. I have no problem getting down but a little trouble getting back up again. I am spoiled rotten.

I hope you get to the beach soon and that was not sarcastic in any way.

The gross headed Hydroflax are the same bad guys who showed up in Mysterio and they are quite repulsive. Like the Doctor they put me off my dinner. Christmas Carol does have the music loving shark. Husbands of River Song is sad but happy and Greg Davies is so good in it as is Matt Lucas. A favourite episode for me.

keep caroling

[winston @winston]

@oochillyo  It is great that you are getting better. Have a wonderful holiday!

stay festive

[winston @winston]

@dentarthurdent  It took me 3 read overs to understand that rellies meant relatives, I thought it was a typo at first. Not a word we use here. I giggled at my own stupidity for a few minutes so thanks for the chuckle.

stay festive

[Dentarthurdent @dentarthurdent]

@winston   Your Christmas sounds quite satisfying, though I hope the illness that got Boxing Day cancelled wasn’t too serious.   Nice prezzies  by the way!   ‘Chaotic’ is one of those concepts that still sounds attractive but I’m too lazy for, most times.   I used to be  a party animal when I was younger, these days I tend to curl up in some corner of the hubbub with a book or even headphones and my MP3 player.  The rellies, all 500 of them though usually only about a couple of dozen tend to happen at any one time, are all used to that.

And yes, I got to the beach 11am yesterday and midday today.   Thanks!   The significance of those times is, high tide.   If I make the 50-minute trek to Piha on the west coast, that’s an ocean beach with hefty waves and cliffs and stuff, swimmable at any tide.

BUT if I just go to our nearest beach at Blockhouse Bay, 2 miles away, that’s on the Manukau Harbour which is a huge muddy harbour.   The ‘beach’ itself is a tiny crescent of sand that arrived on a  council truck, in an inlet nicely sheltered by a ridge of cliffs from the prevailing south-westerly breeze.   A ‘good’ high tide – that is 3.7 metres or better, there’s a foot of water over the mud at the base of the sand and it gets gradually deeper as you wade out.   Today was 4.0 metres and delightfully calm (and the water was warm) so I just waded out to about 5 feet depth and swam/walked on the bottom across the inlet to the next bay and back.   At anything but high tide though, as the waterline retreats, it’s just mud that gets progressively softer and oozier the further out you go.   So I have a copy of the tide tables on the fridge.   I’m looking forward to another 5 or 6 ‘good’ high tides before they get too late in the evening/decline to sub-3.7 mediocrity (it’s about a two-week tidal cycle).

Nardole was unexpectedly good, I’m pleased they brought him back in the next series.   In fact my next one to watch in sequence is the Frost Fair one so I’ve got Nardole and cameos by Missy to look forward to.

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