On the sofa

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    Anonymous @

    @Juniperfish – that tongue joke in AGMGtW was seriously funny.  I only wish I had watched that episode with a pre-teen (and frankly, pre-internet) child so I could see it from their PoV.

    But, the ‘gay agenda’?  Is that for Cap’n Jack?  Because he wasn’t gay, he was panthexist – he could get hot for everyone!.  But then, the blue-rinse brigade at the DT probably don’t have a TV filter for  that.  Once general media references anything other than the missionary position with a soundtrack of ‘lie back and think of England’ then their lorgnettes steam up something awful.

    That having been said, the blue-rinse Tory party members are probably the kinkiest people ever – but they are so self-loathing that anything that even whispers their fantasies in mass media, should be Dalek-ed.

    [Oooh, that eye-stalk!  Oooh-er Miss!]

    WhoHar @whohar


    I think the Doc is obviously more left wing when he wears his red bow-tie, that’s right isn’t it @juniperfish?

    WhoHar @whohar


    When they rebooted the Daleks, I was praying one of them would be pink and a bit camp (Re-dec-or-ate(, just to see the reaction.

    Juniperfish @juniperfish

    @whohar <@juniperfish prepares to write a thesis on how the Doctor’s bow-ties relate to the ethical and political decisions he’s taken since the Eleventh Hour> 🙂 Cheeky!

    Actually that could work…. <thinks fishily>

    Bluesqueakpip @bluesqueakpip

    @There were quite a few jokes in the RTD era that Ten’s lack of interest in girls was because he was gay. Moffat carried it on with Eleven – though he is on record as saying that you’d need to first explain to the Doctor what gay and straight meant, and that he’d probably be saying ‘yes, but look at the Cybermen ship! It’s attacking!’

    If you’re a gay agenda conspiracy theorist (aka a Telegraph commentator), it must be disturbing to note that most of Who’s openly gay/pansexual characters were introduced by the very straight Steven Moffat. 🙂

    ScaryB @scaryb

    <collapses in a heap on the sofa after traumatic day dealing with the infinity problem and crossing swords with @jimthefish‘s favourite troll! (kudos to @bluesqueakpip for killing that one 🙂 >

    And someone please remind me NOT to go on the G-blog after Sundays! Knee-deep in trolls and moany slimey things :-p <throws a jammy dodger (and an ice pack) to @jimthefish >

    Thanks to everyone for suggestions re infinity being said in offhand way to mean huge and infinite possibilities. If that’s good enough for @haveyoufedthefish then it works for me! <happy again>

    Lots of new stuff on here to cogitate on 😀 (do you cogitate on or about btw? Or just cogitate? (who says Who isn’t educational?)


    ScaryB @scaryb

    And pink re-decor-ate dalek made me smile. definite missed opportunity there

    Anonymous @

    @whohar – “When they rebooted the Daleks, I was praying one of them would be pink and a bit camp (Re-dec-or-ate), just to see the reaction.”

    That made me laugh.  If Red Nose Day doesn’t introduce one of those – preferably voiced by Laurence Llewellen-Bowen or even that swishy couple of guys who went on MasterChef) then they’re missing a massive opportunity.

    I’ve been wondering something ever since the Asylum – why was the Doctor so fixated on ‘where do you get the milk?’ — The main ingredient in a souffle is eggs.  If you ask anyone ‘what do you need to make a souffle?’ they’d answer ‘eggs’.

    Of course, we had that excellent ‘eggs … eggs … eggsterminate!’ joke later; but still, why focus on the milk?  Is that important?  Other than drinking milk in Hide, what other milky arc references can be drawn?  ‘Milk of human kindness?’  (or, ‘humankind-ness’ …. hmmm …)

    Bluesqueakpip @bluesqueakpip

    @whohar – I’ve always wanted the Existentialist Dalek (Ex-is-tence is use-less!) or the Born Again Dalek (Ex-comm-un-i-cate!


    Anonymous @

    catches jammy dodger and icepack. Thanks @scaryb. I needed that….

    Anonymous @

    @whohar and @bluesqueakpip – or, the Barbie Dalek: ‘Ex-fo-li-ate!’

    Juniperfish @juniperfish

    @whohar @bluesqueakpip @Shazzbot @scaryb

    Or the self-flagellating dalek – Ex-cor-i-at-e! 

    I fear this meme will run and run… 🙂

    HaveYouFedTheFish @haveyoufedthefish

    I think TV Offal will always have the final word in Dalek alternative lifestyle choices. Apologies in advance …

    Anonymous @

    @juniperfish  @whohar  @bluesqueakpip  @scaryb   @haveyoufedthefish

    The Twitter Dalek:  ‘Ab-brev-i-ate!’

    The Hypochondriac Dalek:  ‘Ex-agg-er-ate!’

    btw, HYFTF, that clip was hysterical.  Thank you thank you!

    HaveYouFedTheFish @haveyoufedthefish

    @whohar @bluesqueakpip @Shazzbot @scaryb @juniperfish

    Or talk enthusiastically about a powerful engine, where 2×4 cylinders are mounted at right angles along a crossplane crankshaft … such as the top secret “Special Weapons Clarkson Dalek” might do …









    … Ex-tol-V-8 !!!!!!!!!

    HaveYouFedTheFish @haveyoufedthefish

    The “Special Weapons Clarkson Dalek” btw, is the only dalek whose lower half consists entirely of weapons-grade stonewash denim.

    ScaryB @scaryb





    Trollsheep dalek – “ob-fus-cate!”

    ScaryB @scaryb

    ROFL @Shazzbot‘s Barbie dalek

    HaveYouFedTheFish @haveyoufedthefish

    Due to its rampant xenophobia and ability to powerslide, the “Special Weapons Clarkson Dalek” is widely acknowledged to be the most dangerous knobbly pepperpot in existence. However, in practice it is rarely a danger on the battlefield because of its tendency to just start trying to do do-nuts while humming mid 70’s MOR to itself. It is recognised by it’s disctinctive battle cry of “EX-TER-MIN ………………………………………………………………………….. ATE!”

    In most cases it can be disabled by putting into a permanent logic loop simply by showing it a copy of the Guardian with an article about cyclist rights in it.

    WhoHar @whohar

    @bluesqueakpip  @juniperfish @Shazzbot @scaryb et al

    Some good ones in there. And it’s probably the most interesting things about the Daleks since, well er, Dalek.

    Dear Mr. Moffat,

    If you’re looking for a new direction for the Doctor’s oldest enemy, perhaps you would consider heading over to http://www.thedoctorwhoforum.com


    We really need @phaseshift ‘s marketing / whoring skills here.

    Oh, and one more: Randy Dalek: “Forn-i-cate”

    (there’s a variation on this for the Randy, lonely Dalek but I’ll let you fill in the blank)

    Oh, oh, one more. @jimthefish Dalek: “Cog-i-tate”

    Really must stop. No really.

    HTPBDET @htpbdet

    This was always my favourite Dalek send-up (apart from Destiny of course…)



    blenkinsopthebrave @blenkinsopthebrave


    Insanely brilliant! That has always been my all-time favourite!

    Whenever Mrs Blenkinsop and I are in a public place where there is someone who is loud and obnoxious, we always turn to each other and say: “Put him in the curry”

    If only Moffat could find a way of using that line…

    thebadfairyprincess @thebadfairyprincess

    Saying my ‘hello’.. been lurking about reading all your theories, figured it was about time for me to throw my hat into the ring! About me.. Well, I’m Australian, but live in Denmark so have to watch the latest episodes naughtily, so I’m a day or two behind despite being an hour into the future..

    Anonymous @

    @HaveYouFedTheFish – I can’t believe you missed the quintessential Clarkson Dalek!



    Anonymous @

    Hello @thebadfairyprincess!

    I fear I have nothing to offer in the way of bonkers theories because everyone else here does so well on that front.  I’m hoping you too can feed my need for such theories!

    I enjoyed Copenhagen when I was there (so many years ago that to divulge would the truth would ensure that you picture me as more wrinkly than I am.)  Are you near the city, or in the countryside?  And how did an Aussie end up so far away from home?

    Anonymous @

    I’m stuck on the Alternative Dalek meme.  (But I fear nothing will top @whohar ‘s camp incarnation with ‘Re-dec-o-rate!’)

    However, fear of not reaching the top never stopped me, so here’s a few more:

    Bulemic Dalek: ‘Re-gurg-i-tate!’

    Lazy Dalek: ‘Pro-crast-in-ate!’

    Dalek on a gap year with Dalek friends with a funnel of of alcoholic drink: ‘In-tox-i-cate!’


    Bluesqueakpip @bluesqueakpip

    Messianic dalek – “in-carn-ate”


    PhaseShift @phaseshift
    Time Lord

    Just to lower the tone, didn’t “Doctor Spock” release a guide to sex and reproduction for Daleks:


    Lula @lula

    Now that I’ve read all of these fun Dalek-isms (I think @phaseshift wins with Nine-Month-Wait) I currently have the biggest “Mediate” (INXS) earworm.

    Anonymous @

    Aww, c’mon … (nod and wink to @lula and all the other Americans on-site)

    Surely we can all do four-syllable exhortations in keeping with the Dalek’s preferred intonation (and of course saying in our head with the inimitable sound of The Grand N Briggs )…

    Married Dalek: ‘Do-mest-i-cate!’

    Nurse Dalek: ‘Re-cu-per-ate!’ (strangely Sontaran, that one)

    PE Teacher Dalek: ‘Par-tic-i-pate!’

    (meh.  I’m back with Dalek Barbie: ‘Ex-fo-li-ate!’)


    thebadfairyprincess @thebadfairyprincess

    @Shazzbot I hope I can do you proud, but there’s alot to live up to!

    I originally came for a year to be with a Dane, then ended up staying and making him my husband. We’re in Copenhagen. I love this city even though I feel like it can be a bit too small for me sometimes – everyone seriously knows everyone, it’s crazy. And I don’t imagine you as wrinkly, I’m kinda picturing you as being furry and four-legged 😉

    Anonymous @

    @thebadfairyprincess – If it seems in Copenhagen that everyone knows everyone else, then I’m guessing you hail from a slightly larger Aus city.  I’m in a northern English village (population around 1500) where not only does everyone indeed know everyone else, but most people are actually related in some way or another to each other.

    I was chatting to someone recently who has lived here over 30 years and he still bills himself as an ‘incomer’. It’s that kinda place.

    I’m definitely furry – age does that to all of us! – but I assure you I’m two-legged.  🙂

    Back to Alternative Daleks – your contributions are most gratefully appreciated too! –

    Expectant Dalek: ‘An-ti-ci-pate!’

    Whisht @whisht

    ah – Dalek meme.

    well, a few I had in mind have gone but…. to carry on the egg theme….




    Bobbingbird @bobbingbird

    When I was recovering from a double hernia op, my (then) girlfriend found it very funny to say:

    REHERNIATE!!! Every chance she had. Oh how I laughed.

    overunder @jamesunderscore

    Bronchitis Dalek – EX-PEC-TORATE

    Holby City Dalek – DE-FIB-RILATE

    Anonymous @

    Welcome @jamesunderscore!  Cracking start.  Have you polished your bonkers theories ready for presentation?

    Juniperfish @juniperfish

    Prodigal dalek – Re-pro-ba-te!

    Sleazy dalek – De-ge-ne-ra-te!

    Is it getting old yet? 🙂

    HTPBDET @htpbdet

    Time Lord Dalek          Re-Gen-Er-Ate

    HaveYouFedTheFish @haveyoufedthefish

    This meme must …. Ter-min-nate … 😀

    WhoHar @whohar

    Fanboy Dalek: Don’t-like-8


    Just one more each now, just to be fair.


    A meme worthy of it’s own list I think.

    adlerinthelibrary @adlerinthelibrary

    ok, Hi! saying hello from far away Mexico. Laughing and reading all of you for a couple of months, I felt it was only fair to show my face, if only to not feel like an intruder. Every week, I refrain myself from going unto the G page on Saturday afternoon, to wait until I’ve seen my DW episode (I see it with a two hour delay). THEN I start reading. I love @juniperfish bow tie conspiracy, it’s my personal obsessive compulsive favorite, but I must confess, I don’t think we are dealing with two different doctors, or I don’t think they are going for that angle. Anyway. Puppeh Face Smith has become so dark and aged I keep forgetting he is so young. That’s the weight of being The Doctor. But this is supposed to be a hi, an awkward hi, so allons-y!

    HTPBDET @htpbdet

    Alexander Sheep Dalek:          Con Sti Pate

    Mas Ti Cate

    Anonymous @

    @adlerinthelibrary  – welcome from Sunny Mayheeco!  You might not be required to post your bonkers theories – simply enjoy what’s here, as I do – but as @whohar suggested, do you have an Alternate Dalek command?

    HTPBDET @htpbdet

    @haveyoufedthefish               Okay – new silly game, then?

    Favourite ridiculous story title?

    Toenails of the Daleks

    The Armpit of Doom

    Good Rill Hunting

    The Nostril of Omega

    Masterplan of the Master


    Your time starts….Now!

    Anonymous @

    @whohar – “Fanboy Dalek: Don’t-like-8”

    🙂 I fear the ‘Faces of the Doctor’ thread will be pretty light in August, then …

    Anonymous @

    I haven’t looked at the G’s series blog in ages.  Just had a whirl through the latest – what a nasty nest of vituperous vipers.  Every ‘this is the stupidest / most boring / worst thing ever’ comment gets masses of recommends – and there are a heckuva lotta comments of that ilk.

    It’s wonderful that cross-marketing is going on, directing people here; but now I’m worried that some of those sourpusses are going to make the leap to our splendid site.

    blenkinsopthebrave @blenkinsopthebrave

    @shazzbot. We shall repel them with wit, and mathematician humour.

    PhaseShift @phaseshift
    Time Lord


    Excellent – we needed a South American correspondent. Who Worldwide for the 50th year.


    We shall repel them with wit, and mathematician humour.

    Well said my brave friend. They shall wilt and die on the sunny hillside of our remorseless enthusiasm!

    PhaseShift @phaseshift
    Time Lord


    Just to tangent on your idea of titles, and being a bit tired of “it’s all a bit Harry Potterish” comments on the G recently:

    BBC Worldwide is proud to announce a new JK Rowling “Young Time Lord” series.

    Doctor Who and the Philosophers Bath

    On being admitted to the Gallifrey Academy of Timelordiness, The Doctor and his new friends The Master and The Rani go on an awayday to Earth in a Type 50 Tardis. What is the secret of the Philosophers Bath owned by Archimedes that kindly Professor Borusa has hinted at? Can his new friends help The Master after he feels “a bit funny” on looking into the Temporal Schism?

    The series continues in the following books:

    Doctor Who and the Chamber of Omega
    Doctor Who and the Prisoner of Shada
    Doctor Who and the Goblet of Rassilon
    Doctor Who and the Order of the White Guardian
    Doctor Who and the Half-Blood Doctor
    Doctor Who and the Deathly Assassin

    I shall be back later!

    ScaryB @scaryb



    We shall repel them with wit, and mathematician humour.

    Well said my brave friend. They shall wilt and die on the sunny hillside of our remorseless enthusiasm!

    Haha, Love it.  I reckon the mathematician humour should do it really! (@Shazzbot). And failing that we have Ming the Merciless, the Master and the ascerbic Scottishness of @jimthefish to run them out of town 😉 (Not to mention we’ve got @omega and planeteater @galactus on our side too!)

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