[Oochillyo @replies]

Maybe the resolutions isn’t too sharp but that’s the films I got so far that I know dates for etc.

My cousins 🙂 and me watched 6 films over about 3/4 days before they left (my friend and them only here for a week but my friend arrived few days earlier so just with my cousins watching the films with my cousins to fill the gap in my heart there and now I miss them all but gonna keep watching films and have more to talk about with them 🙂

We watched in order – Madagascar, Jumper, Get Out, The Equalizer, A Quiet Place and Django over those days about 3 or 4 nights in addition to other places and things we did over the week 🙂

From my memory maybe I was like 4 when I saw these cousins and many years past. Only ‘met’ them last year around this time. So once a year they visit now and they are super nice but its tough when they have to go after a week but we had lovely time again, beach, zoo, swimming, one of my best friends, them and me all having a laugh and about 20 people for dinner few days ago now its just 3 of us and Molly and quite house and 364 days to go so yeah thanks for listening sorry if this wasn’t necessary for you to know but its good to share and let things be open.

Stay safe everyone and hope you have lovely times with your family and friends too take care hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent 01:50

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I just found this amazing really amazing film, been watching it this night even when it freezes and about half way through but I love it so wanted to add it here.

One of my best friends visited us earlier this week (hadn’t seen him face to face in about 2 years) and my cousins who I see once a year and we watched a bunch of films together 🙂 aswell as beach time and connecting and my uncle showed me this great website to watch films and tv shows for free so its the day they gone home and I went through after doing my reading had about 20 mins to go through and find a film and picked this film never seen it before etc but such a gem and really great one like meaningful after my friend and cousins have gone back home and have to wait another year. Nearly cried even before half way of this film I don’t care if it’s simple premise its smart and heartfelt really really become one of my fav films I love Will Smith I Robot but I took that off my top 4 films on Letterboxd now for this one

I might go to be soon its 01:32am and got another hour of the film pretty much half way through and cause sometimes it freezes etc might carry on tomorrow or not cause this film is really enjoyable even though kinda sad but enjoyable to watch. My First film on this great website my uncle recommend and after they gone soo glad I found a good one a really good one. Even 22mins in like when it froze for a while I knew this is brilliant film. So many films slide under the radar and I’m also trying to watch at least 1 film of each year in the 2000’s for my tally? and this is my first 2000 film and such a treat. Sorry I was gonna keep this super short, haven’t been on in a while and pointing out this great film but you all know I’m not good at limiting when I’m thinking/texting. Totally worth it this film to check out. Heart, sadness, humour. love. Time and family are precious 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent 01:20-01:37

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 ho3 are you all 🙂

Been some time unless you time travelled haha 🙂

I bought a ne3 book today yay 🙂

Harry 9otter book 3 cause 3as my fav of the films 🙂 my first ever Harry 9otter book and in a language I can’t read haha 🙂 1 9age in to the magic so far 🙂

9.s ha some of my keys aren’t 3orking so I’m making do 🙂

Take care everyone stay 9ositive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  Oochillyo.
• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  Oochillyo.

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

awe thank you Rule1, I never expected this and after a sour note to the day seeing this was soo sweet and heartwarming.

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I don’t know if sharing my own writing here is good or not but I had like a speed write it was great perfect songs and apart from a little logic thing I can fix out later (I have fixed spelling mistakes) I am amazed I wrote all this fast soo well and just buzzing want to share it but all my friends seem asleep – I am really happy though it was soo easy just fast chunky writing you know and I stopped at the time I did cause I wanted to write as much as I could till the next hour and share with my friend I think its sweet hope you enjoy

The wind is howling here soo much wow even our strong wood door is rattling, what a mood to write this kinda of scene and the perfect songs like Real Gone from Cars – the car engine sounds from that is gold 🙂 soo powerful and great to write with plus other epic songs like Kayne West – Power 🙂 I always think of that advert with this sweet song

Try if you can to read as fast as you can all this , maybe for me typing it fast giving me the option to read it fast at same time works , but if I read this (if someone else wrote it) I would get slowed down soo much cause my reading difficulties but I urge you to read this fast especially as it ramps up.

— Warning its quite vicious language, a bit gory (blood and organ/body part talk) and scary cause like werewolf’s the atmosphere and unbridled rage.  Sorry —

 

00:41 16:/01/2024

Luna shredded her foe to pieces pierced laughter coursing the neurons, a mind that was slamming humanity out. Paws soaking leather greased with blood. Throwing the carcase aside, she staggered fourth, then a rhythming movement that shifted into sprint through the pinewood forest. She never turned her head back to the feast as vampires fazed through in the smoke whipping through the trees. The ones closest dissipated back, they wouldn’t dare trip Luna. Running through bramble, its pain injecting an additional dose of welcomed aggression through Luna’s whole body, she leaped to clear the slope as the woodland died and faded away. The Castel loomed, Luna could smell the metal bolts holding up the gate, past that two guards keeping the dinning room locked away. Fresh meat, the scent drifted through the gaps and Luna was locked onto it all, the whopping beef-wellington in the dinning hall ringing its own dinner bell. Luna howled still sprinting as she reached the gate. Bursts of fire from the turrets illuminated the night’s sky in snapshot moments like x rays. The wooden door made of perfect birch shuddered down and down. Two guards rushed to its circular end leaping fourth to clear it before it was due, sinking into the squelching mud on landing. Luna snarled at the (one 01:07) that caught her left eye and leaped forth onto the other claws opening his chest his burdened lungs in sight. Luna’s grey eyes shifted at once to the one left quaking as he tried to pivot from the run he pushed soo hard to achieve. Luna pounced at him slamming him into the ground. 01:01

 

Thank you 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I’m super happy 🙂

Today I thought I want to share my writing you know, I tried a different site I find slow for some technical reason, and found this awesome sight first time today 🙂

Great Writing place 🙂

I was in a 1 hour Zoom Meeting with other writers having a great relaxing time looking out the window haha and wrote a bit 🙂 then we went to Dericks house just after for tea and bisquest 🙂

Then at some point after reading bits and bobs here and there I found this amazing story and at 10 to 8 roughly I read and reviewed/gave feedback of their writing 🙂 chapter 1 , 2 and 3.

2 hours giving feedback 🙂 I wrote more feedback words than their Chapter 3 haha 🙂 and Melda was soo proud of me 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

And now I have just posted my writing I wrote last night and looking forward to the feedback 🙂

So been a super writing book related sharing and caring day 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I’m not trying to boast or anything , plus I have to edit , connect scenes , all the technical stuff and learning to plan but I re checked this from Brandon Sanderson –

‘If can write 4 hours a week , can write 2000 words , in a year can write a book’ – I’m not perfect or joking around but I have smashed that this year alone 🙂

I have to check precise dates ect for some stuff – but on 5th I think I wrote close to 2000 words, I checked word count today and previous times and its gone from this to this

In 4 days – and I had busy days , wrote little times ect ect but wrote a nice amount today an hour none stop , wanted to do 4 again but I liked the scene and wanted that to settle in than keeping going as I told Melda 🙂

So this 4 days alone I have wrote nearly 3000 words possibly a bit more – plus the other writing since this year alone in 10 days 🙂

and that’s nearly 2x weeks so I think the 5th was that big 2000 writing day so since then about as I say maybe 3000 ish 🙂

So that day I did have breaks as I said in post talking on that day but was about 4 hours of writing , other days following had less – the next day I think had 3 hours actually but all days a bit less than that magic day at Dericks’s house, today we went out again, I actually wrote in my note book for the first proper time 🙂 I started that yesterday when went out but just trying to write the blub and we had to leave cafe so today I did some sketches of key scenes 🙂 when were out 🙂 and I wanted to start about 5:55 but we had dinner at that time so I didn’t write till like 7 or something 🙂 7 exactly yes for none stop hour 🙂 and yes I havnt checke fully the words for those shorter days between 5th/6th to now cause I thought hitting anohter 1000 you know like out of the 18.000 but says 18,600 ish so I wanna check the other days maybe it was couple 100 total 🙂 but still another hour today, had others previous days in-between and days before the 5th , 5th/6th were big writing days so overall I’ve smashed this 4 hours a week and I found I can do far beyond 🙂

Super happy 🙂

Sorry I rambled off there , I am quick that 2000 a week target seems soo easy 🙂 and actually 4 hours in a whole week I was trying to calculate this all yesterday in my head when we were out about how many hours of work could get me to 1000 ish money for that writing course if I generously work like smallest wage for my age of 5 an hour it would be like 200 hours which is like 8 days and like 6 hours or something I was working out in my head haha but for writing wise that could work too seems soo small and easy 4 hours a week out of that like 200+ I guess its about writing good and writing what matters 🙂

I am still learning those things like correct words, how to add tensions , write scenes properly , learning how to plot and write notes but seriously if easy as pie to just for me ramble 4 hours out each if I felt like it even on those busy days I am soo happy with re checking that Jed Herne / Brandon Sanderson video just then to get the details write cause 4 hours seems sweet 🙂 4 is my special number and I can easily write 4 hours in a day let alone a week 🙂

I am probs gonna have a day soon , were I fix all the previous years of story elements and write bigger scenes and or hopefully connect them to the plot so far and then I will see what I really have got cause if I fix up and expand those previous scenes I maybe have close to 50 thousand words waiting there or more you know cause the amount of scenes I have created over the years , and like I always do write a new scene fresh but struggle to keep going and like really don’t connect scenes together but if I can learn that – I already have a lot to connect up and make more wow more depth plus all current ideas and what I’ve wrote this year for instance I am really actually happy about all this 🙂

I even watched marketing and book cover stuff yesterday and how to make a title, and seriously had a great idea for the front cover and maybe a title

I know I’m not expert or rich but like if I get enough words, if I tighten it out flesh it out I really could have something you know 🙂

Thank you for listening 🙂

Example this is what I wrote today just in an hour – I fixed the spelling mistakes for you all.

I like to test myself writing none stop each minute if I can for that time that’s why I stuck to 1 hour cause I liked the scene and was bit tired so not going for the 4 hour none stop to Midnight tonight ha – but this is my hour of power 🙂 today 🙂

19:00 10/01/2024

Luna stepped fourth out the cloud, her pack followed, Moon light cascading down, verberation of howls erupting from the back. Luna leaned against Lupin, her usual course to keep the flame going.

So bones are back haha – accidently got this when trying to fix that word its like vibration but it reverberates you know not sure if there is a tion version of that word but hey one step forward starting on a good step you know haha 🙂

Example this is what I wrote today just in an hour – I fixed the spelling mistakes for you all.

I like to test myself writing none stop each minute if I can for that time that’s why I stuck to 1 hour cause I liked the scene and was bit tired so not going for the 4 hour none stop to Midnight tonight ha – but this is my hour of power 🙂 today 🙂

–

19:00 10/01/2024

Luna stepped fourth out the cloud, her pack followed, Moon light cascading down, verberation of howls erupting from the back. Luna leaned against Lupin, her usual course to keep the flame going.

 

Luna darted down the slope, past the tangled roots, through the flame, past reflective puddles that she didn’t give much attention to, leaping onto the Crane.
From its arm she howled eyes snapping into focus, the wind that whipped through was soon ignored and then forgotten. Howls bellowed out and teeth shone like that of phone torches in a Concert.
She tore into the Cabin like a caged animal
The Crane was ready Luna was ready, her Pack were ready.

“For the Night !” Luna said

Gowls and goblins with empty stomachs were eyeing Duncan,
Husk would be away in some mud pit.
“Gowls, give me a break right ? ” Duncan said chuckling
At once they grabbed the nearest sharpest object to reach, forks, claws from Werewolves, glasses that had yet to be smashed
Duncan was befuddled, then he remember,
The Beffudler was snatched from its pocket, Duncan used the device, The Tavern was glowing, beams of light

 

19:17 The Fire were still warm, mixes of dead grey ashes and hollowing orange light, The Sky seemed like an art explosion, purple waves criss crossed baby blues, cotton candy clouds , the horizon was bone grey, and 5 Planets of near distance could be seem.
How’s their world going ? Duncan thought
Duncan got up and tapped Husk (like waking up a guard dog ) where it was most risky,
Signalling at the fire, Husk inadvertently blasted his flame thrower and the embers darted through a wave of flame.

Everyone pulled back before they even knew why.

Through tired eyes and those wishing to still be in their dreams Duncan apologized calmly for what his big green friend had caused.
Husk picked up Duncan likely to keep him safe and as gentle as a giant crab can Husk shuffled back, away from the crowd.
Luna arose and leaped onto his claw, she missed from lack of sleep and clambered to keep a grip of Husk’s Claw,
The group chuckled, Duncan gave them each a look and silence and stillness persisted again, some looked like pinefish, others started into nothingness as a technique and Latrize smiled at Duncan. He couldn’t tell if it was a flirty smile or an apologetic one like a kid would share with a Teacher. Hopefully not the former.

Husk again used his flamethrower, there was a pause. Then everyone tore into laughter and pushing of elbows. Duncan turned to the Claw , Luna was still hanging there and so he signaled to Husk as such, the Claw was lowered gently to the ground and it opened like a Clam.
Luna hoped inside, true to Luna a dangerous spot was truly exciting and relaxing to boot, she huddled inside the Claw yawning as incisors glistened with the fire light.

Food was passed around the circle, meats and fruits pierced on sticks, each passed down the circle till reaching Duncan, leaning, stretching down from Husk’s carapace. Once the skewers were collected, Duncan would push them one at a time into a line in the small gap behind the flamethrower holder, he pushed them with such force each a steadied and perfect hit it was like he was throwing a javelin, strike after strike, food was secured and began to cook through the intense heat of flame.

The Trees crackled and birds bounced from tree to tree. “Bunnies of the Sky” Duncan said to Luna.

As they both laughed, the group were passing extra branches collected, eyeing up the longest, the sharpest. Then Lupin and Dristin approached the fire pit, from atop of Husk it looked like a ballet. Duncan looked up to Luna (on Husk’s risen claw) who had her legs moving to some sort of beat in her head, tearing through the skewered meats, it seemed Luna was finally had a Good Morning.

Whips and scrapping of pebbled stones were the accompaniment to taunting shouts and giggled cheers from the Crowd. From up here, glancing at his Daughter, His heart was beating well, Duncan heard the cheers and looked down at the show, his memory of visiting Broadway on a School trip twinkled.
This was a Scientifically brilliant Morning he thought.

“This is the best right my Moonlight” said Duncan

Luna looked down and with a brief smile she howled as loud as she could as any Werewolf could when happy.
Dristian won the fight, with a kick of dust,
?clamping his opponents stick with his arm.?

The Moon was out again, looking down on them all, Luna and Lupin Howled together on-top of Husk.
Duncan walked around the edge of the pit with precious and steady footwork. Checking on each of his new friends they were crying over jokes , huddled in what Duncan now thought of as mini packs thanks to his daughter, and some were melting marsh-mellows on the embers. Clearly he would have to teach them how its done.
Husk flattened gently into the sand they had brought for him, though it was difficult to tell from the big clueless expression Husk was giving, Duncan knew a happy animal is one that lies down. Totally relaxed and feeling safe.

There were no Stars in the Night Sky, so Duncan smiled widely to show off his teeth to whoever was looking up there.
But down here Luna was looking and giggling away as she curled up on-top of Husk’s Carapace as close to the fire as she could get, fresh cool air coursing through her fur, it was tingly and perfect for a Good Nights’ sleep. 20:00

– That is Today’s Story 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs love happiness health 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Oochillyo. Reason: Bone image was pasted in-between story accidently and extra spellings 🙂 found

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

@winston 🙂 thank you very much , the online idea might be good 🙂

Also by like craziness haha I woke up tired so stayed in bed (thanks fly’s in my room and tornado dreams) haha and started to read my story and bingo I figured out name – Carrius Disease (story disease) plus health check up scene which adds conflict + visual worldbuilding element and actually how my story starts (light bulb moments) – the inciting incident and all after years of skipping and barley having a start I got it woah woah that’s the main thing right then can work out how everything carries on 🙂

11:45 got Marco on the call and music , spider web hair after shower and happy 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive love hugs happiness health 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

Today I found out lost a little piece that I was writing (one of my fav parts) but I can re do it kinda of from memory.

But that happening again and having to re start parts , and videos etc I’ve watched today – I wanna improve

I am going to try to write better – first trying to get enough space to download Word instead of WordPad which is nice but I think word is more comforting for me 🙂

2 I asked my friend here – if I can visit his house sometimes and we can work on , give feedback and hang out 🙂

3 I know I’ve posted a lot here what I am writing 🙂 sorry if its too wordy – please may I have some feedback 🙂 thank you.

4 For me – I just gonna keep going and write for fun and my family not to be mega famous just stay motivated and stick with writing routione of something every day 🙂

P.S and if anyone can help me – I am gonna try to outline and plan more (I haven’t done that before) Jed says its crucial so I am gonna try and learn plus his course on that I want to take when I have enough money).

Later when I have enough money – maybe next year I am gonna try to join Jed Herne’s Writing Course 🙂

This one 🙂 and perhaps the smaller one about motivation too

I wrote a book when I was 15. It sucked. (youtube.com)

Really good advice in that video 🙂

So I have me obviously – my friend who I am gonna try and have feedback etc from and give support to (my other friends maybe) and you all here any feedback or help 🙂

Thank you everyone stay positive hugs happiness health home care and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I just thought it best share/post the story elements I wrote in a separate box/bubble cause of word count limit ect

Here we go today was great 🙂

P.S. I know I have a double paragraph cause I added a little to the newest one and kept the original to see the progress but as I say gonna go to warm bed soon ha so just skip that sorry if its confusing 🙂 not all is a neat folder but together is a story in the making 🙂

Also as you all are aware I write like time stamps , when texting a lot like to remember what happend , when I watched things if I am talking about films , or how long my posts can take sounds silly but yeah and when I write my story I do this too – 1 keeping track of the date is important when writing a story and 2 I like to do the time stamp to see how much I wrote how fast , or when I had a cool idea ect 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Story –

13:59 05/01/2024
Crissey kneled down and comforted her so called Daughter, once stretched and writhing now curling up unknowinlgy like a puppy, Vampires crave blood, zombies have bottomless apiteres and prehaps Luna was more wolf than anyone relazied. The Sword still perched on Crissey’s knees, a burden in a peaceful embrace. And so she left.

Tumbling through each ..Phasing through the foundations of the Castel Crissey was embraced herself by complete silence, on the other side of the guared celler,

and she wept with parrelled ..accusion..

Her daughter … not even a Monster enough to survive

The plastic flower in the garden, no-one saw its beauty (rather the need to pluck it out14:45) simply because it wasnt how it should be, to them it was a fraud by its difference

Luna ??used to?? grew up seek embrace after nightmares of isolation, a wolf desperate to stay alive as… in forests… once said over time .morphed. into Moon filled skys, accending pack heiracry and the lapping of blood off someone she likly conversed with.
and shone a blue moon on her

 

EARLY ON PHRASE – People look in a mirror when brushing thier teethe in the morning , Luna used to look for blood/////////

‘Fires light the way’ the plague said, Dustin thought it was all silly noness, the shop keeper was busy with a customer attempting to purchase a heat gun, as such Dustin picked up one bulb to inspect it. Again it all seemed rubbish to him, the bulb was glass as usual, cylindrical top design. In fact Dustin thought he could travel back fetch a bag full from scrape yards and warehouse and make a fortune in what to him was the future age. A distinguable feature apart from the gold casing of the circtur instead of classic sivler was berry red paint on the glass segment. And they want 2 dimonds a Crab claw and a skull for this Dustin scoffed, he considered telling the guards at the Castel to shut it down shut it all down.

“Make way for a manaragry or art Gallery”

“What was that Sir ? ” said the Shop Keeper

He had heard Dustins bitter remarks at was likely he method of survival. Dustin imagianed burning alive and took a quick glance at that heat gun and the nearest hand byside it, which was in fact the Shop Keeper regetablly, and the customer who Dustin had previosly drowned out like a shadow was increasing in presence, looming slightly over the stall

15:04 break time 🙂
inspected one bulb from these special bulbs

Crissey’s nights consits of hanging from chains slept in chains hung from the ceeling

14:46

WHats that Duncan said to Cirssey”

Its a sleep condition

(the chains and wrist marks) 14:48

 

13:59 05/01/2024
Crissey kneled down and comforted her so called Daughter, once stretched and writhing now curling up unknowinlgy like a puppy, Vampires crave blood, zombies have bottomless apiteres and prehaps Luna was more wolf than anyone relazied. The Sword still perched on Crissey’s knees, a burden in a peaceful embrace. And so she left.

Tumbling through each ..Phasing through the foundations of the Castel Crissey was embraced herself by complete silence, on the other side of the guared celler,

and she wept with parrelled ..accusion..

Her daughter … not even a Monster enough to survive

The plastic flower in the garden, no-one saw its beauty (rather the need to pluck it out14:45) simply because it wasnt how it should be, to them it was a fraud by its difference

Luna ??used to?? grew up seek embrace after nightmares of isolation, a wolf desperate to stay alive as… in forests… once said over time .morphed. into Moon filled skys, accending pack heiracry and the lapping of blood off someone she likly conversed with.
and shone a blue moon on her

 

EARLY ON PHRASE – People look in a mirror when brushing thier teethe in the morning , Luna used to look for blood/////////

Fires from these special bulbs

Crissey’s nights consits of hanging from chains slept in chains hung from the ceeling
14:46

 

Pentiseant – new word 15:06 writing to 15:07 for the skull with the shop keeper

trees had eyes that you could eat , they were the berries and cherries of the future 15:09

like blue berries they were blue at the centre, and like black berries to , in fact every colour of the rainbow was a possibilty on your tree 15:10

15:11 What are they 15:12 are they real eyes

they are genticxced fruits , mixing of genes like how you would cross plant specials together back in old world but now a days we have lets say more variety to pick from

Luna crushed one of these apprent fruits in her finger tips till it split open at the centre

“Its kind of eye opening right” she giggled 15:14

can they see you

15:11 oh yeah , but its kinda more fun that way

15:16 they spend a fortune at Christmas just to /cultervate 15:21/ the red ones /in time15:22/ , sometimes green’s and white’s too 15:17

15:23 “Its kinda of strange though, its like with fish on a plate , they are gone but its not comfortable seeing a glassy eye on your plate. 16:07 this needs to shift around to make emontional sense 15:24but these ones are alive when they see you moments before they are in a chamber of darkness and crystal white blades, 15:25 I think its sad Dustin said softly, almost with a lose of foucse.

Time and place meant nothing anymore people eat conciouse eye fruits in bucket loads, he wondered what it would be like back in his day the outrage and how the future people ever let this past, how could you sit comfortably at a table knowing the food is alive and the one organ thats soo precious and complex and beautiful they turned into a fruit even if its a fake fruit they still did it for show turned beauty into profit and simplicity. Dustin knew some of them would fall on the floor and rot away thier vision bleakening, others pecked by ravens and most would surfer proglonged exist in frozen boxes and stuck in a plastic wall stating and on fruit stands and commercial stores plucked from thier home watching shoppers go past without thought or regretful tear. Concious and aware that in this Business being picked didnt mean a caring home and a warm bed by the fire, it meant out the box. To be set free from clastapohbic plastic package onto an impending death. Agonising dullness and crulty. Dustin looked at the sky, stars nowehre to be seen darkness more than ever.

But Luna would consume them like old people used to, his daughter had split his heart and worse still he zoned out and now his eyes were achinng and dull and for the only possible time in his life shame sprouted uncontroablly a canapay blocking out the light he felt from his Daughter. How could he eat anything again . Craving to go back to literal simpler foos without understanding just free standing withut concious just consumed///// and be listend to just this once , to be able to show them what their decenedts did and he would burn them to the ground for it. Nothing changes he thought, light is on the table but people always find a way to sneak up on it and cover it in darkness. Then they forgot they pushed it aside in the first place and wonder why thier days are cold and empty till its overshadowed them as darkness persits and flows through the next and the next. Each a catalyst the swarms devour, families break from the inside and the World offers a dimmer and dimmer light till you just cant see the way out anymore. A darkend heart, hopeless mind broken packs sucking joys out of the world. Duncan could see clear as night what that had lead to. His hand stretched out, he was waiting for the cold touch in front of him to grab it only to push it away. But there was no touch just a giggly smile with fangs sticking out, another eye consumed with purity as its condement. 15:46 (now to 15:56 / 15:57) 15:58 16:00 16:01 16:03

16:08 genuis I can use the eye fruits for the fake eyes of the skelloton army yes 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

16:09 trees are kinda like a brain so eyes and nerves wow 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

16:14 for the greater good type of thing

more like rain berries to me the tears the want to cry but cant 16:16

Dust and dirt , flys and rays of sun, maybe ….. were the lifeform the suffered the most and yet everyone cheered and eat them for fun 16:17

I am wrote that last part before somwhere wow 🙂

Bucket of eyes in a giant socket 16:18

Nights and days could you see the same , could you stare at the same spot all your life only shuffed vision by the breeze that shakes the tree you were attached to 16:19

Eyes burst under foot , turning to mulch , your walking on someones view of life and you crushed it 16:20 and pounded it into the dirt it grow from 16:20 / 16:21 happy to tread on dreams of eyes seen 16:21

16:21 Star dust rotted these eyes all the same , but you could see it , dangerously ofcouse but you could. A hidden diease swarming visibly and you cried and wonder why they ever gentixized this into the world 16:22

Star dust pain and wonder jumbled at the centre 16:23

Dragon beath stuff of legend, eye fruits nightmares of reality and the corruptor of the legend 16:23 of the future world of hopes and dreams, health and happiness seen 16:24

Luna howled and you cried 16:24

Stardust everyone runs from it 16:25

Luna had dyed her hair purple for you 16:25

Lupin took the disc and it unlocked , a dazzling light ocean in colour and fresh scents poured out of it 16:26
——-
16:55

Nightfall , fast , sharp and cold , only beasts of bulk and the ones covered neck to tail in fur would be out without complaint. Dustin wanted to join them, if they wouden’t eat him ofcourse, Living with nature seemed great always had done to Duncan though Luna was a sour warning bell that being conncected to nature your own your own if nature tries to eat you. Luna was almost swamred by it, the cold air tingled on Dustins neck once again as he relaized her true nature may one day be all that’s about her. No more Luna my little girl but the wolf who ate her.

The name he gifted to her all those years ago was becoming more and more literal than sweetly romantic. Luna the Moon child , Luna the wolf who eats. How could this happen, this is a world , particles and now magic the very thought stumbling his comprehension of the world. Zombie was for the film now they were sitting at your lunch table possibley with your arm on the plate. Dustin looked at Husk, a real creature flesh and blood not forgetting the mighty claw, but he was real and … a real friend.

Dustin stepped under Husk to avoid the snow drifting down least he further freeze, and opperated the tanks, giving the signal there was fire in winter as easy now as the snow itself feel uninteruptted by the canapaies.

Husk snapped at a tree trunk here and there, slamming them onto a flame

 

18:18 rian making sound hedged that move , missing of sky colours and clouds , the millipeede looking leaves that smell like tea and maybe a pumpkin / annnas / green fruit or fake fruit , ball type fruit and flowe 18:19 love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

pink tornado clouds 18:19

—–

I know its not perfect and like from word document to here I think I spaced it all out properly how it looks on word and I’m gonna fix a lot and write more 🙂 that what I was also really happy with today that I carried on with the story segments I was writing 🙂 really today was soo much better even though it looks like scrambled eggs I can make a meal out of it 🙂 and seriously we stress soo much (I did till recent) about ah its not good enough, my paragraphs are bulky, too much dialogue and could be dull , but like I’m not a genius you know takes time and like I write what I want and can fix and adjust and happy when I’m happy with whats on the page 🙂 unless your a robot ha nobody properly ever wrote a book in a day or each word and sentence was perfect and right for the story on day one as Derick told me about nobody can write a book in a day 🙂

Thank you for listening hope its enjoyable for you all even at an early rough stage of the sanding and smoothing process to a beautiful table ha – I really like these like its a jumble on to perfection kinda of metaphors cause it kinda helps me relax and know step by step doesnt have to be pefect has I struggled with for years 🙂

This is the word count I wrote today solely at Dericks house soo happy and proud with myself and its sweet to have the writing flow again and like enjoy/laugh at your own story 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Thank you everyone 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive healthy hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

As I mentioned in my small post earlier ha I wrote lots today well yesterday and yes I know bunch of spelling mistakes and random notes but I watched that sweet film again soo happy 🙂 then this Christmas heist type film was on and right now its 04:01 am ha and like I just want to rest you know and plus its how it was natural and the ideas and progress happens but sometimes you got to and its good to look back 🙂

That was the film I watched at like half 2 am and now its 04:04 🙂

Here is what I wrote today just today at Dericks house one of the most productive writing days in a long time and I took plenty of breaks, and reflections of inspiration and we came home all of us to dinner with our friends and played games then films so I could have wrote even more but I am super happy even when at Dericks house I stopped for a bit like I’d done soo much proud of myself 🙂 and just mainly started coming up with ideas so that’s why lower down its like short sentences and not like in the story as much.

Take care everyone stay positive hugs love happiness and health 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I have wrote soo much today over 2000 words in my story but just here now cause that film Triple X Secret Mission is on again and I am watching with joy all over my face 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs health happiness and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I worked on the scene , was a fast fix at first but then some elements took time but I really love it

Sometimes a simple change or word makes all the difference or knowing when to cut an ending to a sentence 🙂

I know maybe not all is perfect (have to work on that Mudfruit sentence too) but I really enjoy this especially my fav part about Luna’s Days at the Market that whole chunk after I love 🙂

Luna glanced at the shop keeper, his tattered robes and the selection of veg hobbled on the shelves behind him was of little comfort to her, it would be common to pity someone like this throw a coin and walk off. A small occurrence of Luna’s Mornings that had faded from what it once was. Luna knew she was cable to sleep walk into the market and halt on her spot, a precise spot where chilled mud dipped, stamped with Converse boots precision of a signature, always 4am you could find Luna were she always stopped. Luna wondered if the trees were fake, seasons would pass them by as if they were rock and they would always look the same. Who would waste money to stick fake trees into the ground these days. The market seemed dull and still like a painting for preschool, though to Luna it was precious in the unique fact that someone could take a photo there and do that day after day and they would see the same man in the same corner, with the same fruits on sale and the market stalls stretching far back each stall a segment to the market’s funding machine like a giant centipede, all stale and permanent fixtures of the landscape would be staring back at you in that picture. Luna Days at the Market were in their thousands, Luna’s trajectory orbited that Market Dawn to Dawn sneaking in and out the Castle gates like they were matchsticks with steps in accumulance that Luna had strided around the globe times past her age and never knew it nor stopped orbiting.

Mudfruit doesn’t even grow in this climate Luna thought

ta da 🙂 and I love – Luna Days how awesome is that like Luna’s days as in the character and her days but also its really like a Solar Eclipse equivalent you could soo easily hear someone talk about Luna days lunar eclipse 🙂 wow I really love the name Luna 🙂

Thank you everyone for your kindness and I feel quite comfy to share this here 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs love happiness and health 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

Wow an 1 and 12 minutes ago from my last post time fly’s

I tried writing this section over and over I have multiple screenshots showing changes haha

But I want it this time how it is cause its probs the most of written so far this year 🙂 and I am quite enjoying the scene just trying to work out better words better visuals you know to set the scene and shape Luna’s character 🙂

So here it is now right now and the little piece before that I wasn’t really happy with so started a new scene

23:20 04/01/2024 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Stardust like chillies but inteleigent and captivating

23:21 04/01/2024 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Luna glanced at the shop keeper, his tatered robes and the selection of veg hobbled on the shelves behind him was of little comfort to her, it would be common to pity someone like this throw a coin and walk off. A small occurance of Luna’s Mornings that had faded from what it once was. Luna knew she was cable to sleep walk into the market and hault on her spot, a precise spot where chilled mud dipped, stamped with Converse boots precioion like a signiature from Converse boots where you could always find Luna prints she always stopped at , Luna wondered if the trees were fake, but who would build fake trees these days, seasons would pass them by as if they were rock and they would always look the same. The market seemed dull and still like a painting for preschool, though to Luna it was precious in the uniquie fact that someone could take a photo there and do that day after day and you would have the same man, market, and fruits staring back at you. it was more frequent to Luna than bones in Luna’s life, sneaking out the castle gate bef

Mudfruit doesnt even grow in this climate Luna thought

—-

I mainly was working on the areas like the one about sneaking out the caste, especially the foot print section and Luna’s thoughts about the market and the camera idea 🙂

I know its rough , I am actually trying to fix it and keep going this time 🙂 I am enjoying this scene and I don’t know if its how I write (often I write big chunks 🙂 and or keep going with a scene changing words ect ect) but recent times I’ve struggled to get a lot on the page maybe cause of time constraints but just feeling like I get 1 scene write what I do and done you know basically no extra adding or tweaking

But now I feel back to it maybe cause I kept trying to improve the scene like to have it make sense ect and that meant I naturally kept adding to it and started to like it cause I was changing it to better, the way I liked and more time investment so I do feel I am getting back to it back to writing 🙂 happy I wrote a lot and was pretty easy this time especially when looking at the first section about chillies haha this was sweet and easier 🙂

Thank you everyone take care stay positive hugs happiness health and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I started writing early today but didn’t get far

Currently home 22:27 was at Dericks but I am writing now and wanna try to carry on the scene if I can that I was writing this Morning 🙂

I’ve learn soo much about the eye today just from a single sentence and learnt even more just now thinking what do you call eye movement and learnt of soo many specific words ect 🙂

For example

And earlier today all about eye diseases , the insides , the entomology just soo much from a thought about vision 🙂

eye movment name – Search (bing.com)

Other but not all examples of stuff I found out about earlier in the day 🙂

Eye Eye Captain 🙂

So today a single sentence in the morning was all I’ve written and the follow up connecting piece now but I found all these just from a tiny piece 🙂 🙂 and wonder 🙂 🙂

09:45 04/01/2024 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Stardust was rotting cermeneted in the eye
22:23 04/01/2024 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Phantasmas of neon and electrified blues darted the dance of each

PS – As can tell I saved around half 6 when we went to Dericks house for dinner and games and was super nice but the first part about Stardust that was all I had from 09:45 till then haha its one of those days but trying to carry on now 🙂

This is all I’ve wrote so far today on a day I started early haha but yeah just found soo much about the eyes its fun

I said previously writing about a giant crab 🙂 (Husk) really game me / opened my eyes haha 🙂 a like freshness about writing again but I also love these little moments 🙂 when you make a phrase and think of what how does that work or find a ((completely)) random word by accidental spelling as was the case the other day or researching the entomology and meanings of names ect that all just really I love it 🙂 and you can get more and more ideas layerd on a delicious cake from it ha 🙂

Ps there is 3 spellings that all seem soo close and I’m genuinely confused

I spelled it wrong cause was typing fast ((compeltly))

I think its the 3rd option but soo strange how 3 words are soo close to each other and I fast ((initial)) glance before noticing the extra l near the end I would of said option 1 haha

1 Complelty

2 Competently

3 Completely

Also the word ((inituaiol)) Initiation ?

Words haha very confusing at times 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs happiness health and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

Here we are again ha – was a real struggle to actually keep this going and not flying off the rails cause worried and sad about Melda but I can slowly fix that starting tomorrow 🙂

I wrote some more and like again maybe I am being stupid with limiting myself to such little time and pushing myself to think fast but stop at midnight instead of carrying on but here we go

I sneezed on my laptop screen by accident of-course haha aren’t all sneezes accidents unless you like smell spicy things right they cause sneezes ? but yeah after the sneeze it was kinda going smoother then I think the philosophical took over towards the end I literally cant remember much of the ending oh well , step by step and see what happens I know this isn’t like a pro way to write or make a book but for now I like this little start and stops to just see what I can think of without thinking beforehand 🙂

23:52 03/01/2024 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Love , love is the goal , stardust and Luna lights cant bond grow or heal love, Crissey’s appeal was love though .Dustin. loved the mystery more the lab rat that chewed her way out, if this world was crumbling away shutting down, could Dustin grow love and know it would die the next day. Fate is for thinkers, destiny is what destroys us. Husk couldn’t see the Sunrise or a crescent glow of that bubbly round satellite, a friend who’s eaten all the Christmas dinner Dustin thought. Husk didn’t know the taste of high luxury ((cuisine)) , Husk was a brain in an armored shell, but slowly Dustin was sorbet (ing) him into his tool.

I had to quickly think of the main character’s name cause I didn’t wanna leave it blank when showing you all on here and forgot where or if I even had a proper name for the main character is some other document so it became Dustin at the moment ha 🙂

Wow tried to get the spelling for sorbet (ing) and found cooking classes in Portugal yay 00:07 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Wow learned a new word 00:13 by accident cause spelling Cuisine complelty wrong I somehow spelled a totally different word almost correct haha 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 at first I thought I spelt it fully correct that would be crazy amazing but still wow 🙂

My accidently spelling and attempt to spell Cuisine -> quisence and the correct spelling of the word -> quiescence

Where the double bracket is in the story (( )) the word in middle is cuisine after fixing spelling but at first I wrote quisence

I don’t think Sorbeting is a real word I just got like the normal sounding word and Sorbets but no like action version so just putting (ing) next to it for now in case it is a proper word which I haven’t been able to find

So new words learnt by writing a story that is lovely 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs health happiness and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂  🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

To start – My previous message in film section about Triple X Radical Mission film – I tried to post that yesterday (well Early Morning) which explains the time I talked about it and going out tomorrow – I’ve been out but yesterday my post wasn’t sending through properly so now I’ve copied and pasted what I wrote yesterday back in and got rid of the like error text jargon cause of copying and yeah hope that make sense just when you read that post – it was early this Morning 03/01/2024 – and I have done the 9am going out plans 🙂

So I was awake 2am nearly 3 I guess this morning and wanted to stay in bed – had a shower and flew out the door pretty much running down the hill to chase the car haha 🙂

We all 5 of us have been out all day since then shopping ect ect – Only got home at 19:14 (7pm)

Long day fun day – I didn’t see Molly actually this Morning cause was flying out the door but all is happy now 🙂 love you Molly 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 20:20

I actually am here in the book section cause I found gold dust or like if I met Hugh Jackman that would be an equivalent too 🙂

We been to tons of shops had restaurant meal by the sea ect ect busy day as I said and we went to the book shop as Derick planned 🙂 and I was feeling like bit empty and slow for early morning reasons so I kinda wasn’t super interested while in the book shop and then lightning and like I was like woah – I told Derick to like check the 3 books and like if we buy 1 at a time that’s ok with me I told him cause it would cost a lot to get 3 books but I was literally feeling like buzzing and like it was amazing 🙂

I found in this Portuguese book shop the one were couple weeks or months ago I found all the classics like A Christmas Carol ect all the classic books you learn of in school famous classics (so I knew this book shop was good) but today we saw a Poirot book which was funny cause Dericks’ Mum gave me the Orient Express book when I went to their house some days ago upset and just wanted to read and we all like those films and books about Poirot 🙂 so it was funny telling Derick ah look a Poirot book 🙂

Bur I found and I know long story short – all 3 (each book in the trilogy) of Brander Sanderson’s Mistborn series woah woah woah woah – the moment I saw the name Brandon Sanderson on the book that was it that was my pick and I was soo awake and like amazed 🙂

I love that author – he is super talented , kind , teaches others how to write books better – I watch his writing videos (in addition to Jed Herne as mentioned yesterday) all the time and he is one of the most popular and respected authors of the modern day I was soo like amazed as a fan as a writer myself and knowing of him – watching his videos laughing at his Star Wars jokes ect and all my respect for him and its amazing books I am soo like over the moon into the next galaxy

Seriously for people who love books (espically fanstasy) or know of Brandon Sanderson you can hopefully understand 🙂

I’ve found an author I know (can connect with) like well and know his books – I bought all 3 thank you soo much Derick and I am soo sure I will enjoy them and for once in my reading struggle life I am going into a book knowing this is my cup of tea and hopefully I can learn soo much reading the books and then going back to his videos and understanding more the plot elements and characters he speaks of and getting like an upgrade in a way of learning this is how one of the best authors in the world does it

3 books wowow 🙂

Happy indeed seriously I soo happy I was buzzing and Derick is soo sweet always has been but wow I was like I will cook for you to pay you back haha like soo kind he is and this is like soo caring like I said to him I knew all 3 would cost a lot so was like could be 1 at a time and come back but he was like we get all 3 and he said when we walked out the shop that I’m like one of his favorite people he’s met this year and I deserve it wow much love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

So here we go eventually step by step page by page one of the best book series/trilogies in the world (the Mistborn series) by one of the best and most acclaimed authors of our time and really from what I’ve seen and heard a generous/kind loving person and husband, soo amazing I am not trying to boast about having the best books ever or such I am just soo wowed and like this is amazing and soo happy to share with you all and please check Brandon Sanderson , his writing advice videos , his books , the lessons other authors learn from him ect he is amazing and hope one day you all will find and read his books 🙂

Derick and me were like while I read some he can too (or after) cause 3 books and I am totally happy for him to read these books like its a treat I didn’t expect such kindness and it would be amazing for him to read these books and understand to my love and respect for Brandon Sanderson and to have fun cause Derick likes reading too 🙂 I am totally happy to share these amazing books with him 🙂

brandon sanderson – Pesquisa Google

brandon sanderson lectures – Pesquisa Google

Take care everyone stay positive hugs love happiness and health 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I’m meant to be going out at 9 ish today (Morning) but its 2am haha just watched the most crazy funny film in a long time 🙂

At first it had German music and I knew the song cause used to listen to it and other German songs cause this girl at school not sure if I’ve mentioned her but yeah

And was like ah another reminder of her of recent so stayed to hear the song and the film was crazy from start and it got cooler and cooler and funny and like the coolness changed but it was like wow how crazy is this and then funny like seriously I just found a classic like for me if I can watch again I’ll be happy 🙂

Great acting – funny moments , lot of cool visuals like the electric like the classic Tesla electric equipment , amazing stunts , the gadgets ha what a joy 🙂 02:25

Maybe it started as crazy and became ridiculous but like just pure fun level 11/10 🙂

Ooo and just found it its part of a trilogy wow haha 🙂 02:14

Film was called X X X (or Triple X) Radical Mission

film triple x radical mission poster – Search Images (bing.com)

I even forgot how bonkers the start was it was kinda Matrix like wow this film it changes and is soo crazy and fun and interesting I am soo happy someone made this film – yes had sad and tough topics but I still enjoyed the overall film and how fun and crazy it all was and sweet ending, its like James Bond but turbo 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs health happiness and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Oochillyo. Reason: I had to edit cause of copy paste spam

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

So day 2 ha and like again was at Dericks house a lot of the day with new friend Joao joining little later 🙂

And so by time at home was listening to Derick , then like watching T.V. , listening to writing advice ect , then X Factor in a way was on T.V. and I got side tracked haha and again in a kinda of rush but now its a new day I might just carry on 🙂

But this is what I got and it was very different just like more trying to be emotion based / philosophical and drawing on my own experiences but I don’t know maybe it is a weird little chunk I was kinda scrabbling with myself you know to make sense of like what I was writing like as I was going along

Sometimes maybe  (as-well with the rush to write before midnight) I just like get going fast and like don’t think of any plans you know just see where the words go what I was thinking you know so maybe I do have to work on that 🙂

23:55 02/01/2024 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Stardust settled into the corners of Luna’s eyes , destiny rang in her mind , her own story her own quest for her Father , in secret against the nature’s desire . A desire that comforts followers but tears chunks out of those who refuse, the dominance tipping when they refuse themselves …

Thank you everyone 🙂

I kinda like this little show and tell thing but obviously if I find a way like I was telling one of my life long friends 🙂 I have to learn how to write more and like for longer in continuous connecting patterns basically/

I have wrote tons and tons before in like paragraphs ect but I mean like finding a way to keep focus and carry on like from one scene to next that’s what I need to improve on but in a way just starting fresh each time its kinda cool like you never know what you can write when its fresh you know (unless you have key scenes ect you know of) but yeah like with this crazy nature thing I didn’t expect that and yet here I have wrote it 🙂

Maybe just learning a balance between – planned / continuous scene to scene and random see where the start goes 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs happiness health and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I just watched this video – I’ve Spent Ten Years Building A Fantasy World — How Worldbuilding Changed My Life | Talking Tumiun (youtube.com)

I know not everyone is writing or thinking about these things but I watched the whole video and new to this Youtuber I think – Rick seems like a really humble and honest person who has amazing art work and ideas soo much effort in this and was really sweet ending / final message so I thought it was important and nice to share this with you all and check it out if you like 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive love health happiness and hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I wasn’t sure what to do currently so I just started watching all of Jed Herne’s YouTube videos from the start of his channel been learning little writing advices in like simple understandable way 🙂

I’ve kinda realized now my main character though kinda snappy and like villainous  actions and traits I guess traits ha has like some key elements of generating sympathy I didn’t even realizes I was doing story and character wise so that’s good and happy maybe my character can be like this and still loved by readers 🙂

So far 4 videos in 🙂 and yeah some sweet lessons 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs happiness health and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Oochillyo. Reason: Adding in the 2 extra smiles to the top greeting 🙂 🙂

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I was in a bit of a rush haha and not perfectly happy apart from the ending part I felt was getting somewhere but I did say I will write something each day 🙂

We had lunch , family leaving , long time at Dericks then my Paradox predicament haha but I got something just trying to start somewhere and here it is

Story 23:56
Crissy stood at the base of the cliff , Luna looking from the edge below swung her backpack around , reaching for the torch – the cliff’s lower edge was carpeted by thistles , a perfectly reliable fuel to light , though Luna true to her name was too connected with nature to do such a thing

I stopped at Midnight and yes its quite a rough read haha just against the clock you know and had to start somewhere with some words I liked even a lower section to a base doesn’t make much sense but perhaps Luna is hanging onto the side or just a funny shaped mountain haha 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive and healthy hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

So went to Dericks house and later friend joined 🙂 small nibble type things and chat 🙂

I was thinking lot of story things and wondered what is a paradox and like if it could happen would it actually do or change anything or is it just the film idea we have of it

Like I was thinking previous times about paradox for story elements then I though today of like a double paradox like can that happen ?

For example in the story I was thinking thematically and like maybe I dont want one of these characters to go down you know and I was thinking of a way to cheat it kinda ha but it got me thinking wait a minute if this character cheats it for character A but previous thinking Character A was the paradox you know if I’ve got that right ha

So I thought double stacking paradoxes and all the thinking about YouTube , films ect all stuff about paradox and I thought what is it actually what does it do ?

Cause can have like logical paradoxes like I watched a lot of those Vsauce 3 videos about it but they aren’t like time breaking ones

I was thinking about the time breaking ones and yes I know but if we actually had a time machine would any of that classic stuff happen ?

Like you always hear with the GrandFather Paradox and like in Back to The Future film – what if like you became your Grandparent basically or like what happend in Back to The Future film before was resolved with the current day family fading away and like would that actually be real if could move around on time lines ect

Example you hear in lot of these thinking stuff about time lines that you would basically create a second time line that splits from the one you were on and I was thinking its always in film ect like with Doctor Who and the time the Master did all that paradox stuff – it all got wiped in the end and I thought maybe they kinda just time traveld it was like a time jump where the ‘future part’ never happend

And in these cases its always ah it never happend and nobody remembers – but what if they did ?

What if the observer like the people of the world could remember the change and the fix – if they could know they were on both time lines in a way

I wonder like what creates a paradox like from a tv / thinking view to like real science if could happen

Like if someone is born – is their life the moment they are born connected on some time line or did we just make that up you know like I was thinking with Martha Jones in my fav Episode of Doctor Who – Gridlock – She says “If I die here my family would never know ” cause she was far in the future

I knew this all topic seems stupid but all this I was thinking about

In this case does her possible death in the future affect anything ??

Seriously do things like have a time line or not – example whats to say if Martha never made it back to present day — that wouldn’t create a split on the time line cause she is meant to have a life there or not ?

You always get the back in time affect things but why never a future affect like if Martha Jones or Fry in Futurama like example created a new invention while in the future for them – if they went back to present day and then died or something happen – this future event we all hear from films ect – doesn’t happen ? but its part of a future

But example Back to the future – by messing with a past event it affects all subsequent events on that time line of that event you know

What if someone knew changed history – does the what we know actually just all get erased or would people have like awareness of both time lines

In my book – I have a time travel thing and was thinking my main character has children but they are like some point in his past so if he died they disappear right but then I thought what if that grandfather paradox got doubled and one of his future children goes back and becomes the parent of him or like takes his place and then what happens if that child disappears who is like holding the time line together you know does the child over write the first paradox or does both happen ?

this is why I thought soo much about what is a paradox , how if could happen how does it work , why – like I said are we all connected to something the moment we are born or does it have to be like big events or changes to past – why is future like in Doctor Who always told that is in flux is subject to change kind of thing – sometimes like with Martha Jones she became a reason in Shakespeare Code everyone began using the phrase author and I know its sci fi but what if someone really could go back in time and re cover lost labours 1 would 100’s of years of it being the lost play vanish or would records of that exist still like if we say today – in a book somewhere in a Museum it says that’s the missing play or on a news report – and someone could go back and recover it – is it always back to future style where things can change like Twin Pine Car Park becoming Lone Pine Car Park cause Marty ran over the tree – would someone say holding or on CCTV having that this is the lost play would the words or just like everything every memory and recorded evidence of that change in a snap and it would be like that how it always was if someone recovered the ‘lost play’

Would it be lost if they took it from like 1600’s Shakespeare time to today would the people in between that time still know it as the lost play or even us modern cause it was in a way lost for all that time between or is that wrong like it would just change instant in all history or if they found the play and showed it around kept it in word of mouth extra in the 1600’s up to now – it would never be the lost play right ? and our past would change or not ?

Its like Back to Future – the family is fading away time line in flux ect but Marty ran over that tree right in the past so its lone Pine but at start of film its Twin and Doc Brown says so but technically it should have changed always been changed to lone pine or the moment the time machine Delorean was invented or Marty Sat in the car

What changed that car park – the invention of time machine or the tree being run over – in film its cause the tree but like in Doctor Who maybe or Neil Degrass Tyson talks – it would have been changed the moment the time machine existed right

Sorry I’ve gone on a long tangent but its really interesting yes we cant really test right now but actually what creates a paradox – what makes a time line its actually really like un thought of you know we see the common film ect stuff but actually the deeper pieces as to why is like mystery

Why is future able to mold even if the reason something change in future went back and never did that thing ?

I used to watch this kids show and I’ve tried soo hard over past years to find it but I cant genuinely its like one of the CBBC shows that has seemed to vanish which is a shame

But its like this kid – he invents things right – but in the future he is basically the best inventor ever and soo famous ect so his like Great Great Grandson or such goes back in time to help him when he is kid to make sure he becomes that inventor

Sometimes things do go as planned in the episodes so like in a thinking way the time line kinda changes or maybe is bent a little

But literally – A the kid isn’t the super Inventor yet so we have the classic I have a time machine I am the future like Terminator thing were the events haven’t occurred but the future people ect have experienced it and are going back

So what if that kid stopped inventing – what if he broke his arm or anything and I don’t remember apart from I am here to like guide you and make sure it happens you become the inventor but I don’t know if his Great Grandson or whatever goes to present day time because this kid isn’t gonna be an inventor or something has to change like he has to be guided ?? maybe not but I think in the final episodes it was kinda like the Grandson was an enabling factor as to why we all got here you know and if wasn’t for which is confusing like time travel is – if wasn’t for the child being super inventor of future and his grandson going back in time to learn from and guide him then we wouldn’t have got the super inventor and we wouldn’t have got the grandson going back

Cant anything on this time line break – what if the grandson went to the wrong time like a middle point or the kid just gave up inventing why is it that the future has to happen ??? why is it locked in in this case but currently the future observer knows that things need to be corrected in their past and to us present day the child inventor well its not like he is locked in but by his future like with the family member going back it locks him into keeping up the inventing ect right

I just don’t understand and maybe were not meant to be easy example Doctor Who – future always could change – this tv show the kid is like destined to become that future inventor but something is wrong and needs a future self to fix and guide past time line child so where did this wrong come from or was it like in the tv show way to learn at first but then became a founding reason this all happened ?

How can something be wrong in the time line and need to be fixed if it hasn’t happened ? but to future people its always happened but the thing is like with that show its not meant to happen in the wrong way like that kid is meant to be super inventor so if the grandson didn’t do anything that would change but then the kid would never be the inventor

Its like from here typing I can see like 3 times lines right

(A) like the how its meant to be says the film or tv show

the how it went wrong and so something needs to happen to shift it to (A)

But what they don’t say is how did they shift become observed like the something is wrong if 1 the time line was meant to happen (A) or be how can someone know of (A) but know its becoming like B ???

I know we all confused and maybe a waste of time but for my story I really wanna explore this stuff like if my time travel main character kicks the bucket we all know his future kids dissapare right cause like Back to Future style my main character to him hasnt had children yet but he has at somepoint that he skipped / time traveld over but if he doesnt get to that point then his future kids dont happen right

But what if that is occurring like I said but then one of his children goes back to and becomes like his Mother ect and then what if she doesn’t make it or the main character doesn’t have this child like what breaks – his Mother doesn’t happen then he doesn’t but if he is first on the time line then him breaking means daughter cant go time traveling but if he is alive and she goes back then all of sudden she become his Mother so what happens if either of them disappear

That’s what I was thinking about like a double paradox kinda like a time line lope where like we have time line then another one connects to it and like that orbaralis snake thing but as a time line connecting to another time line

I know maybe its a film thing to help us understand but I do think its intresting that in Back to The Future films – the like villian is always some ‘form’ of Bif like his Cowboy ancestory and Marty’s Cow Boy ancestor – and all the villian are Bif or future Bif but like that film thing were like maybe its some silly trope but when you go back in time can find someone who looks like you or the Bif Case no matter what time Marty goes to there is a Bif in a way maybe connected to his time line and ofcouse this doesnt happen in real life unless very rare case where like someone looks like thier decendent you know but what is that too just some funny film thing or like an actually idea in time travel – like Neil Degrass Tyson once told VSause 3 Jack right about this film where no matter what they main character did his partner or whoever always died – its in Doctor Who terms a fixed point in time – say dont do go here she goes elsewhere and is run over by a car you know that butterfly final destiantion effect where its always got to be – and in Back to Future films I know has a trilogy and good use of character ect and time travel they always had a Bif representation but is that a legit thing if you started time traveling like with the grandfather paradox if someone could see from the outside and the present wasnt instantly changed like back to future lone pine car park effect would someone not see 1 A photo of you present day then B a photo of your grandparent and think they are same face ect – it makes you wonder if Marty is like creating multiple time lines or something and he is in a way making multip Bifs and Multiple people in his past (we only been as far back as cowboy times) that look like him that could actually be him

Like one of my fav cartoon shows – Bravest Warriors 🙂 they have the whole series’s arcs or such about Chris and his future time lines and like there is a joke like this is you in future like 80 years old – this is you 200 , ect ect this is you when your strong – all these Chris’s are meant to exist but in a clip he changes that (I havnt seen full series) but thats like that its meant to be future effect but thats all of Chris’s life but back to future kinda does that in reverse even if they dont say so like its not said if that is cowboy Marty or somehow his ancestory looks like him is that a time line effect or what ofcouse for the film they dont focuse on that but its something really intresting

Thank you for listening 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs health happiness and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

Happy New Year Everyone 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Got home at 1:59 (writing at 2:01 at this point) 🙂

Wow I was literally day dreaming and hallucinating near the end of the car journey home was soo tired but now like wow awake easy peasy all is breeezy and Molly is next to me on the sofa so thats why I’m writing on the sofa 🙂

Waited like 3 hours before the big hour lots of family visited our Niece’s house I think I’m not very good with what that means like Neices ect but yeah soo many people and yeah lots of fireworks , others took videos and it was like wow and could feel the force but yeah super nice just crazy what happend to me close to home in the car that’s a new experience like asleep awake seeing stuff that’s not how it is wow even had like a crazy like dip of my head as if on a roller coaster at one point like I could really feel that force and movement like you get on a roller coaster when the car I don’t know just went down the slip a bit like amazing what sleepy can do ha

So New Year wow 🙂 and hopefully each day a story piece to the big book cake haha 🙂

Love you all congratulations have a lovely evening 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care everyone stay Positive Happy New Year wo ho 🙂 hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

I’m not sure if Fan Creativity or General Book Thread is the ideal location

I am planning to get back to writing and write at least something (for my story or other elements) every day of next Year 🙂

I wonder if I will have a book worth of words by the next year haha 🙂

Perhaps I’ll work on completing a full chapter and slowly piece by piece show all of you here the chapter like sharing piece by piece of a whole cake 🙂

Take care everyone have a lovely New Year stay positive hugs health happiness and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I too watched the new Chicken Run film on Christmas 🙂 was very sweet yes I did feel like it went fast and like some stuff maybe didn’t make sense but generally seriously I’m glad its there you know something fun and colourful with again a serious message attached like it made sense like how brainless we can all be you know like with consumer stuff it was kinda creepy to be honest , I was watching my family’s reaction and maybe that’s why I felt like little hollow but I laughed quite a bit and look maybe I was too focused on if they liked it being a big hyped sequel and glad someone else has watched it and mentioned it on this forume cause yes I agree the first is probs best but for me I can say that and also have more relaxed time with the sequal 🙂 and I did like it 🙂 plus Molly is our little doggy so it was sweet and Molly was a cool character 🙂 loved Frizzels’s accent 🙂 it was good well made ect just some stuff was like is this a re do and it felt little short but I was happy 🙂

Then we watched the famous Wolf of Wall Street on Christmas Day hahahahah what an eye opener but it was soo cool at times and like I can see why its soo high up in this is one of the best films type of comments you hear a lot 🙂 really good acting by Leonardo , really cool use of like first person in a way , made that job seem soo fun and like I wanted to do it and yeah it was crazy I kinda lost what was the point of the ending but you know here we go again ha 🙂

Yeah look health stuff has been really bothering me to the point where I just went down the hill at night with Derick but soo glad to hear Chicken Run 2 mentioned and it got me talking and happy about something 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive and healthy hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

Merry Christmas everyone yay 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care hope you all have a lovely day 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – (Oochillyo) Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

Hey everyone 🙂 🙂 how are you all 🙂 🙂

Good Morning Good Morning 🙂

Sunshine finally and is warm enough to have a shower after over week plus I know sounds silly but cause I would always freeze when getting out the shower and the shower has a mind of its own I didn’t want to risk it when I was very unwell and already had temperature fluctuations but today is sunny and bright and I am feeling better happy and saying Good Morning too all 🙂 nice and fresh hip hip horray 🙂

Today is going lovely 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive and warm hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Oochillyo. Reason: Spelling haha

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I know this is the sofa not film section but I love the sofa and soo happy right now just saw one of the best films of my life after a comedy film I knew I saw and it really impacted me I stood in front of the tv for most of the rest of it to hear it better truly one of my new fav films 🙂

Called – About a Boy – made in 2002 🙂 the same year I was born sweet 🙂

Just short and sweet review , nearly had me in tears thinking about visiting a proper councillor , really reminded me of school but was soo sweet and heartwarming at the end truly I am beaming with a smile on my face my Dad even watched it at times and we were laughing together truly brilliant moment 🙂

Thank you

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I’ve spent past 2 days most hours Morning till nights on none stop video calls and lots of messages and giffs (especially of Wolverine haha 🙂 ) with my buddies fixing problems like bank stresses , someone to listen ect , talking , laughing , meeting parents , lot of laughs , tears and hugs and its helped a lot and its finally stopped raining all days and Sunny today 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Sorry about before all the long posts ect hope it wasn’t too much

Hope happiness continues thank you Melda , Marco and Ryan 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Happy Christmas times everyone in case Internet stopes or I am just preoccupied all day love you all thank you for helping too including @whohar 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I was slightly worried (Edit at the start) there @whohar that I (had) said wrongs things asking for too much as I know this isn’t like a (Edit Professional help service with the capabilities and experience they have so here I know isnt soo) equal to a help line -Edited- but everyone here is soo kind and you all put a lot of effort in and I see that with others in the forume asking how they are after storms ect ect and soo kind to me thank you everyone 🙂 not sure if my first few lines there were worded right but hope the meaning comes across 🙂

Edit but you all are soo helpful and its very helpful to me little kindness goes a long way and more better than I could ask for you know thank you all and hope my (Edits) make the first chunk more smooth and easier to understand and hope the message makes more sense cause I re read it and it sounded like I was saying  I was worried of @whohar , when I meant I was worried I had sounded selfish and asking for too much and was going to be told off  cause I maybe said soo much that it was like I was demanding expert advice from a group of various lovely people who I know aren’t gonna be experts in the field of helping mend people’s lives I know this here is like a comfy pillow I am happy to have this little big various amounts of lovely people soo caring and to be heard hope the top starting paragraph sounds how I meant more smooth and thankful not coming across antagonising to you @whohar sorry if you read the first draft I guess in the writing world they say that a lot first draft then fix it up but truly sorry if you read my first draft with that top paragraph and felt understandably that I was attacking you or blaming you for replying to my concerns I never intended that to occur and I mean whole kindness to you not badness or anything unkind ,  thank you for putting time to reply to me and offer help 🙂 hope your doing well and we can have happy days hugs 🙂 really mean it thank you and if I over worried well hope my ramble powers haha are put to good use showing that I wanted to correct any trace I saw that I felt I had been rude or attacking to you and anyone else who is kind enough to help others – thank you all and keep helping if you can and don’t feel worry about asking for help too its not just me and I am learning this is a lovely place to chat all sorts and lift you up if things have been tumbling down 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Thank you and Good Luck everyone take care stay positive hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂  Edit complete 🙂 bit like Harry Potter spell there haha at – 21:58 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂  22:06 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Molly is next to me right now actually 🙂 My Mum was and my family family all in same room talking and tv and me here talking to Marco and Melda it is actually nice whole family together thinking about it , my Mum moved I think cause on phone call and Molly I didn’t notice when cause trying my hardest to help Melda at moment and have Marco’s support with that but yeah Molly was curled in a ball next to me 21:11 oh and back I was just about to say till a firework made her jump off the seat but now she is scratching the sofa and is about to curl up 🙂

I understand your advice – currently cause being very unwell and don’t want to risk more even when feeling better example I tried eat only enough was needed not like normal till full and healthy food just like 2 chicken nuggets and 1 after for instance cause they were split in 2 bowls and the other was nearly finished so yes I would love to go out and I love nature and miss walks with John and doggies Molly too 🙂 but got to get strong enough for a hill walk and it was tough after exercising went down for a while haven’t been swimming in ages busy busy ect and the walks were starting to get easier we did more and constant and I was getting stronger fast but this current state no way my heart or anything is worth risking for that I.e. the walk helping Derick up a smaller stretch of hill and not being pulled by Molly but carrying a heavy bag half the way nearly killed me but I hope to in future I can get back to that and nature 🙂 I barely step out anywhere these days like not even in garden just trying to get well 🙂

I think here I feel like school in a way a need a push to write and its easier for me although I do worry equally as much about the long lists of the problems I say I am going through ect but I do find this the easiest way to get those out my mind and ones I didn’t think about but were bothering me like a part of a bigger picture , used to talk a lot to friends like this about when I was suffering sometimes to people I trusted but found out and realized everyone hates it so I shut down and keep helping others till I break trying to fix everyone else’s problems worries ect give support to them and I was like generally bone dry of support back or if it came it wasn’t good , common stuff that didn’t help , game with a but …. I think that was elements but 99% of the time I just got attacked told off called a bad person ect or that I tore others down cause I was breaking and looking for support , even on that one site I got threated to be kicked out the forume cause I was asking for support and that worry was carried to here when I was going through the slamming of the metaphorical nailed door in my face time and time again and was soo worried I would mess up here and it was a fear like am I annoying , am I talking too much and I gonna be kicked off even till recent times sometimes I feel like whoops I’ve done it again talked too much  even today I thought what if new people to the group to the forume saw my posts and were like scared away that would be its too much I would feel soo crushed knowing I harmed this group and people who could have had a great little community to join to hope that doesn’t happen and that I am not pushing people away , please tell me and or others if this is occurring to you or others you know and maybe something can be fixed we want you in this group and I do to just I need to bounce back from this whirl wind you know

Right now I heard Marco saying he will help Melda so took a while haha but that’s good to hear on the call 21:25 🙂

So yeah thank you @whohar 🙂 I know I went rambling again and your points are super maybe that’s enough said for now others I would find a way to ramble about each but its about thanking you for your efforts and kindness thank you @whohar really thank you for being gentle and helpful 🙂 and I’m not super knowledgeable about meditation ect but thank you hope some of these advice can help when I can 🙂

Thank you @whohar 🙂 I’m gonna try take it easy for now so I will post now hope its all ok and thank you for making me feel like at east that maybe my long talks aren’t a bother to others that I must constrict but acceptance that its helping me as I had believed and to hear someone notice that not me but an someone else wow thank you that really mattered the most of what you said to me like stood out thank you warmed my heart 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Oochillyo. Reason: Feeling that I hurt @WhoHar's heart

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I’m waiting for dinner so can have medicines – I let Molly out 🙂 she’s about to curl about now awe 🙂 love you Molly 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 18:03 and went upstairs to get the medicines but have lot of tiny chest pain now on my right side which didn’t happen very often and on my left which I expect , a lot of tiny pains and some slightly bigger ones on both sides each strength and laying here down trying to warm up ouch another big one on left 17:58 maybe I’ve ruined myself and its my fault and maybe I will die or something is gonna happen and I’m sorry for being really well not very warm and jolly to our from these recent days hope you all have good Christmas and times with family and friends and loved ones and look after nature follow your dreams 🙂

I knew this was around the corner as I got older but like I really feel like this is what is before the end or like a proper heart attack so I don’t know if genuinely I will be around next year so Good Luck to you all and please keep heathy as much as you can and if I don’t make much more time thank you for letting me in this warm group and all the talks and fun times we all had 🙂

Tale care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 and to my future Children well if they see this then something good happened haha but I feel like from the heart I want to write that and my Wife friends and family now and hopefully then 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent (Oochillyo)

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I’m sorry I know I have soo many posts here on the Winchester sorry I just cant believe it after I ended my post and was eating my cake I was astounded that all this time since moving to desk to charge my laptop at least that time so was mid writing post I said it somewhere to now any point during that time I knew my Dad was in the kitchen but its just him Molly and me and I had no idea the fire was going with nobody supervising and I literally told my Dad all the problems and I am furious and he treated me like I was 3 ‘ ooo do you think this will catch fire and fire and better no cause you need your hands in case this’ ect ect like I was a joke my head really hurts I am about to check my blood pressure I am furious the whole thing I was worried about was going on behind my back and he treats it like a joke I even checked the stockings and certain parts of them are pretty warm I just think how stupid the nothing will go wrong till it does for this case cause why risk it its clear and like if it went out of control oh my and this is a business and we are trying to buy it and like we are not insured oh my this is I don’t understand I told him point blank why are you being stubborn why you never listen to me but listen to (my Brother) I feel like my head is I cant do this all day since they left he’s accidentally probs but found ways to wide me up soo much I am checking my bloodpressure

I just feel its another rubbish Christmas ahead and even if I wanted to be open and feel deserving of gifts love ect I just feel I’ve ruined it out of fury for the safety and just anger of nobody thinking straight or taking anything I say serious I’m soo fed up I want to cry

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right front side of my head like on the side more so but bit at front hurts soo much even walking up and down the stairs like not super pain just there’s a small like beat pain but more a big feeling like crushing pain and I feel little dizzyy now

I am not doctor but I’ve had this checked soo many times in my life cause my heart condition and you know what

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the second one is from that worst day of my life night where I thought I was going to die and I had soo much dizzy fever ect ect terrible day getting sooo bad

and the first is literally after another massive argument type thing with my Dad today just today just like I don’t know since 11 or 1 when everyone else left and its worse its higher today than when I was soo unwell I was thinking thats it I might die

my hands are kinda yellowy and there is just a quick pain on right side of my chest when I was writing this the last words of the previous paragapahs after checking spellings and like both sides and front left like before feel crushing

🙁

Take care everyone – I dont know what to do I should just shut up about everything and let people do it but when I see danger or risk or just wanna fix things I try and now I nearly cry

Please stay positive dont let me ruin your happy times and Christmas aswell

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I know it doesnt seem good to have positive and say to others be postive and then in the next section say I’m hurt ect but thats how life can be and how turmoil it seems to be here at home 🙁

about an hour after great moment with my Dad saving the lizard I feel crushed and completly useless again in this business and nearly lost my voice trying to desmostrate the problem I noticed previous day about fire harzards and lightbulbs and electicty ect

Some more lightbulbs gone kaput and literally about 5 maybe up to 9 changes we have had to make on light bulbs in these past months at least since the first kaptu in very rapid succsion even after new bulbs for like 2 times the lapshade, that went yesterday in a flicker , another light in the fireplace room gone too this time on chanderlar literally a day after or on the same day I noticed one of the mini chaderlear stands lights had gone thats happend like 3 different times on these stands we have literally there is either as I can see clear as day a lightbulb problem or the whole system which I think is close or older than 20 years and how clear as day when 9 times had to fix various lights big and small in this one kinda area alone the desk area and fireplace are when I know in England it was like once every couple years you know but this is soo fast its clear as day and the lights are like gloomy you know like the modern ones are clear glass

Look its safrer, its more energy effiecent – the elecectric bill will be cheaper – it looks nicere for guests and not weird that we have old and new bulbs next to each other and I think the whole systems needs a replace if we could at least for now I would fix as in change all these lightbulbs but espically the lampshare which looks old and I even checked the plug socket today when pulling it out to discount when changing the bulm that is I think soo dangerous I’ve noticed just today the wire goes to the plug where you put it in the wall and the like case surrdoing all the electic stuff before the prongs the wire goes through a open hole and I can like see inside of it and if I was stupid enough put like my finger through that , and I’ve been yanking with such force this plug all the time for months when we had to use the plocke socket on the wall for charging laptop or the wifi or charge this ect and gosh I knew it was bad then cause the quaiolty and force had to pull to get the prongs out the wall and not even in a smooth motion like the prongs often were like half way out and you still had to pull hard , and now I know its even more dangerous

Seriously I have never seen something soo obvious a health risk this lightbulbs keep going , the Christmas tree right next to the fire which has a glass door but still could be hot , tons of plugs where the tv is on one like 4 section socket which is near the tree too and on other side of the fireplace is a like DIY tree of dired branches and underneath a reeve of that flamable stuff on a barrle in a circle and ontop of the fire place a small lip where hands 2 stockings and a massive spray of that tree matiral decorated , and we have 7 people in this house now let aline that Christmas 15 and yesterday last night I was going round turning lights off cause everything was one everything plugged into others things everyone on a device or leaving lights on , in the fire place room alone both sets of wall and chaindler lights on so thats 16 blubs of which some werent working like 2 or 3 all on , and the hallway singal bulb that is bright enough and is a celling light can illuminate that section alone , the massive like neon beam lights of the kitchen one of which also has stoppe working ages ago and they are still extremly long and bright , my light to see if I needed to that desk lap shade one I mean which I normally use cause the single bulb one is too bright but I had to leave on for others so I didnt have the lap on untill some point for a bit then it died in front of me like flickering and then dimding and I know wasnt right turn off and today my Dad just put a diffrent blub in and thinks thats good enought like cleary the whole lampshade and the wire is going caput if we’ve had to replace that light source for it 2 times the whole think doesnt look pretty like stained yellowy the lampshade and wires I would chunk it acutally cause it doesnt look good anymore and is dangerous , plus had the hallway lights that I had to leave on cause the new guests keept walking from thier room through the halway and around areas and back a lot and I didnt know when they would need to see causee its pitch black at night if you dont have those lights on as I have had to do walking up those dangerous stairs last night after the last of the 3 tiny steps in the dark where my Mum fell cause if I turned on the light it would be too hright and its the hallway one or the updtairs light and I would get told off by my Brother or my parents for waking up either of them or the guests so had to walk up last night after 2:30 or something in the Morning after writing my posts and getting through the funny medicines ect in the dark and feeling dizzy when trying to feel where the stairs turns right and getting very scared of where the last step to upper level is and stubbing my toe by accident after taking off my water like shoes to be queit and therefore more time spent on cold steps and carrying my shoes I even used them at the end to ty and pull them gently when on the flat and wait for them to lower in my hand signigling where the step was It was soo dangerous and I want to fix that soo bad cause we havnt had people for a while and stupid me I forgot and the first night the guests showed up and I was here tpyong and tryng stay well and in one spot when I went to bed I relaised ah shoot I cant make a sound I cant use the lights I’m nearly stuck on the ground floor unless I walk upstairs in complete darkness and I did again the other night

Either way I would love to fix soo much here , plus all the devices and kitchens stuff like firdges ect that night of turning things off I thought cricky never have I seen soo much use of elecricty in a home all at once I expect like I told my Dad in a way check the bill when it comes cause trying to make him relaise about the lightbubulbs and effiencey but I suspect the elcetrtuy bill will be massive this month

And my throat hurts and my shoulder from typing with my arm on the sturdy side part of the chair cause Molly next to me which I love 🙂 but the chairs are too small and stiff, but serioulsy I worry for our healths for the safty of this buildong ect we even had a near fire insicdne when we had some long time friends stay here and one guy simailr age to me was cooking eggs and compelty forgot at one point and set fire to his kticehcn in his room and was there a fire alarm n0 🙁 🙁 urghhh , lucky I think his Mum and my Mum both couldnt sleep cause pains ect unwell ness and smelled smoke but Miama mia like and we still have no working fire alarm I dont think cause there was no noise nothing previous literally smoke and burning of the room example

This happend at home also we had one that was sooo old I knew was problem spoosed to change firealrams like every 2 years or check if they work something like that andwe never changed ours it looked that bage yellow stain colour and I went on and on for years about it and what do you know one time I was watching tv my Mum like she always did and still does – everything all at same time , cook , while that’s going on do something else do something else and I knew we all knew she is like that and often heared her tell people like family on the phone or sometimes to people who visited how she did these things like in past tense but often was the present ah I forgot this ah left the tv on ah I got to get back to something and she was always multi tasking room to room so no wonder one day I was watching tv and next thing I hear my Mum screaming fire fire ! and I turn around to see big smoke and fire from the pan and , chip oil fire really dangerous and hard to put out and my Mum ran in and burned herself badly trying to put it out , went to hospital me too cause of breathing smoke , and neighbours we knew visited cause they were meant to have a massage and the husband visited after all was out at this time and like he told us we had to go Hospital you know which I wanted from moment one cause smoke damage let alone my Mum but like my Mum hates hopstials soo stubourn about it so really this neighbour had to tell her how it was you know cause she was more worried my Dad would be cross about burning the kicthecen area

and even now with the falling down the stairs and being uncious where I thought my Mum was dead cause there was blood and no moment just like weird coughing ect when I got help and somehow she was back to her feet it was a real protest to get her  to go hopsital like had to phone family members and even the paramedics when visit said there’s something wrong she wasnt making sense and still my Mum no I’m fine and in hospital saying I feel better sorry for wasting your time like she said to the paramdeics and she had fractures like eye socket that sort of region and like nose sort of area but was super lucky it didnt shatter ect or could be super serious and maybe go blind in that eye and need surgrgy but this is the point why I panic nothing seems serious enough health wise for my Mother nothing seems serious enough risk and hazard wise for my Dad to change and update no working firelarm at home even when it was needed most and we still never got it replaced the fire alarm the didnt actually work even when re vamping the house to sell I was looking at that dated yellowy alarm thinking thats bad looks terrible to new people and is dangerous and false safty and even here after a kitchen fire I still dont think we have any firealarms and I am worried at Christmas seriously cause I noticed yestersay the fire thing was hot that glass door wasnt boling but I woulnd wanr to touch I got close enough could feel little heat and that was with 1 log fading away no proper flames and the Christmas tree is right next to that oh my how is everyone clueless to this

even in England some nasty people stole stuff from our garage from time to time and no we didnt get a burgalr alarm I couldnt sleep well anymore espically after training Molly to notice these things cause Dogs are better than humans at hearing ect and I am the best in my fmaily and hearing but having Molly is a aid too in that aspect and one night I woke up cause was light sleeper I guess espically at these points feearful others would break into the garrage again and I saw a light when looking from my bedroom window , I warned everyone – nobody belived me cause I had this I hear I see things soo often cause my hearing is great and was paranoid but this time was the real thing someone in our garage and my parents were soo like angry to him and viloten my Mum with like a broom and my Dad like threating words but he seemed like homless or such not tooo dangerous but you never know although cause they chashed him out the Police never found him soo I think that was stupid I know at the time but argh very annoying for me cause I got it right and he was free and my alret and paranoier went up even more and I heared stuff and went checking soo often still like before this man inccident and after for years on cold nights takking time to check garage like bracing myslef with something and nerves and opening the door , getting to the light switch , checking around the garden , behind the shed ect ect somethimes looking past our to be frank very unsecure gate this ruined me and here I can relax about this stuff soooooo relax but case and point we never got a burglarr alarm we never fixed the secruty I tried to tell my Dad over and over his attempts werent good I.e. when coming home from school if I was home alone or just tired and wanted be home quick I just give the gate a kick and its open or just reach for the lock and pull bacl if it was ‘locked’ it had no pad lock nothing good and even when my Dad tried to fit that bolt thing as I said I could reach that if I was a odler person like a burglerly or taller or had tools , like reach from arm going over the gate

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a gate like that which curves , it was like a wodden base over metal like striped , and if you had a long enough arm you could get to the right side and reach the lock lever and pull it or as I did just use like clippers garden clippers or other tools that my Dad left out in the open for all the world to see on the driveway ect soo much junk I could easly get in each time to the garden and when he tried fix that lock he put where it should go like when you lock a bathroom door and the metal part goes into that grooth thats hidden inside the wall he made that as a pience of like wood like you would see in woodtech like a sqaure slab but small like a 1rd3 thickness of a book you know piece of wood drilled into the over 1oo+ garage cobbled wall and the metal thing didnt even fit or line up right so with all my force and nearly damaging my hand many times I couldnt even put the metal chunck more than like 2cm in where its meant to act as a lock it was just soo poor the handle area that it was to be a previous gate you as I did use those garden clipers to easly grip the metal bar and pull it left to undo the gate it was soo poor and I knew it and used it to get in from school most days like easier and quicker than finding my key ring from my school coat and getting in front door 90% of the time it wasnt even locked and I would just come home quick jog down our at time slooped driveway and one kick I’m in and at the garden or often happend the wind was enough to open the gate and I was always worried little Molly since she was allowed out into the garden when you can after they are certain age I was always worried she would go out onto the drive way right in front of the busy road and 2 bus stops in front of our house I was always running out to check the gate and shut it our get Molly quick or she would follow my Dad as he walked with something like wood work whatever to the front or back to the garden and leave the gate wide open and Molly eas able to  walk out it was crazy

and Nothing about fire alarms, burglar alarms, the gate , anything genuinlly serious was ever fixed and my peace of mind was shattered every night paradoind about someone robbing us and going to the garrage which is next to the wall of my bedroom and what if they climbed up to my window ect ect or what if there was a fire ect ect just constant uneeded stress and paronoie and walking out most nights to the cold wet garden looking around with a torch or no torch for like 40 minutures or something checking every sound every inch cause it was compelte darkness always checking the garage preping with a broom or Molly and locking the glass door with a broom cause it had no lock again soo stupid and easy for people to burgal it which we had time and time again but oh no the boy who cried wolf it never happens till it does and even when I was convinced cause I checked and was trying to open the door and like I said no lock they are glass plane doors to the garden side of the garage cause the other bit is broken and slightly open but the garage was soo full of junk espically at that side you would have to crawl to get through the driveway section and if you were a burgrly it would be eaiser go through the clear path of the gate than in the dark round stacks of boxies nails on the floor ect decades 100 years old gatage of junk or our stuff too just pilled in there , so even if I did open the door on garden side anyone could hide in that garage soo easly and I was coniced that night case the handle was stuck it wouldnt open and I was pysically giving it my all my strtenght trying to open the easiet door of the whole house and saw it go up and the door pull back ect ect like I was fighting someone on the other side trying not to let me in and this when I knew this was it someone else was here and I was soo terrifed but trying to fight the door open and nothing and I was yellwing at top of my lungs and my whole family nobody heard me nobody heard anything this is why I am like the securty thing and Molly too we ear stuff everyone else is obvlious like the time I heard things and saw that light and it was a real person and my Brother was still alseep the whole night of that and my Dad had to be really shock and convinced someone was there that I had seen something to even bother looking that time I was right –  this time the door jamming I was screaming even next door (semi detached house right like 2 hours joined together) even they heared me and turned on thier bedroom lights but nobody in my house did and when I had to go upstairs in my house to alert everyone and by the time I was listend to and they were folllowing me back downstairs to the garden to the garage I said like dont go in there person is there call the Police over and over telling them get the Poilice after ages and I think my Mum looked or my Dad one of the two briefly looking and the other and me warning there (my Brother still in bed) we got the Polie they came round did the usual went looking and what you know nobody there so I look complete stupid and waste of time but who knew they could have hidden really realyl well in all that junk or snuck out the gap where the drive way is or most likly when I wasnt guarding and fighting the door to stay closed after I relaised it wasnt opening and someone was fighting me I was fighting them to stay there after a while that is was it sorry my meory

After I sensed something wrong cause the door wouldnt open and then saw the handle moving door pulling ect I was fighiting whoever trying to keep the door shut and lock them there while screaming for help that was it sorry I got the order bit wrong yes I wanted to open that door and was trying that but after knowning someone is there danger I wouldnt let that door open I was staying there fighting the door handle for contrl and shut them lock whoever there but as nobody heared me I had to stop that after a while of in the cold bearing in my mind I sleep only with pants cause its more comfy I dont like pijam stuff and sleep with cloths when I am super tired I just doze off or am freezing and or unwell like previous nights – but yeah little not little but I’m not muscle (phew laptop died but this survived15:49 ) I’m not trained or a fighter I have heart condition and reaons I cant like get super muscle ect so just trying out of protecting my family and finally catching someone fighting that door and I had to let it go to wake others up and made me look stupid when Police couldnt find anybody but yeah the no lock glass easy peasy to open door doesnt just suddenly become unable to open and fight back,  someone was there I really am sure

I developed parnoi and like always listening out at night ect for many years previous and before and terrifed and stressed and angry nobody in my family would do anything about it even after time and time again people did break in and that Man was there my Parents chased him off and that was when Molly was little puppy and she saw it all and is main reason on top of my keep guard with her that she is very alret to little sounds of like the outside words like cars or is affraid of men in hoodies ect wrong time wrong place for little Molly but I dont know was it worth it look to have an extra someone looking out when clear as day I was the only line of device and alert system in my house and family it helped me like going in the garden at night with her or looking out the glass doors with her in the kitchen area it helped knowning I wasnt alone 🙂

And here much safrer nice mountain , not much people , nauture , fresh air , no high crimnal rates of England and constant targetting of our garage over the years

and even one night I was wathcing tv with my Mum in the like fireplace room of our house in England and the widoews there its basically the driveway is next to that wall/windows and one night watching tv I saw something and I did witness someone breaking into our nice neigbours car and taking something and his friend on a bike on the corner of the road on look out and I told my Mum and we saw it but no vidoe eveidence in time and it was night dark ect we told the nieghbours and cause I had seen the most went with the neighbour who were new to us at the time moved in maybe couples months back and went in his car first time driving around the streets looking for these people but sadly no and he said he doesnt lock his cars and he will like learn from that now and thats the thing learn and improve and yes it was scary again and another sign that road was a money spot targert type place other houses on the road had a string of burglaries of recent , people went on holiday you know and house burned down or other people who went on holiday house broken into and its all clear to me should have had more defences like that crime watch and shows like it tell you what you can do like Dont get done get Dom – Dominck LittleWood who we love in my family 🙂 all these stuff advice is there types of locks ect cameras but its all ah yes and we dont do it to my family

 

I seriously would love to have my own family and its peaceful in terms of dangerousness like crime ect its nothing much here in this area but espically back England where we were I would change soo much and do my own devince like in Home Alone but no soo extremem that it really hurts the intruder but as I say if I get lucky enough to have my own family which I would love house defence is one of the top I’m gonna make that exccellent and peace of mind for my children and wife cause it shattered me not even as much as ah there was someone after all but the months and months and years of every day nothing was there but you heared somrthing you sensed it maybe they espcaped maybe tonight you just dont want to go out and risk your life again and be in the cold alone in the dark and just hide in your bed is easier but I was the only one constatly stepping up and checking nearly all nights going out side if I felt nessaacry like if Molly wasnt distrubed cause dont want her waking everyone up if its nothing and checking around the whole garden everywhere behding everything even in the shed I forgot I did that – the shed was tiny wodden insdie but still had tool and a like really simple lock , those ouside its facing north then you tiwst it east (right) and it locks the door but thats not a like keep burgalrs away lock like they suggest a proper metal inside the door padlock thing on crimewatch but you know I had to check everything in case and there was a bit of a tunnel dug somepoint and extened by Molly at my Habitiate 🙂 widlife garden area I made 🙂 and I loved the hole cause it would help hedgehogs and other animals like foxes go in and out shame of all these fences and concrete bases cutting off nature as you hear in the news so I liked knowing there was a way for nature but its always a small yet possible route for burgalrs out of the garden so anything was possbile the typical climb the fence or they just break in to our home one day or with a weapon so I always had to check all the garden for a long time each nigtht and each possible hiding place like shed and garage

But yeah home alone style safty for my future home and ofcourse camersa , alarms ect but once there in its like what do you do next and thats what I want to hopefully improve like the ‘traps’ theme you see in home alone , the burgalry alarm didnt stop them but that kid’s constant traps drove them away and even like paint or like glow paint flouriesnt like you get on high vise could be soo useful if was someone you saw like burglary and you got them covered in that they couldnt hide in the streets unless they got rid of all thier cloths and even thene thats obvious something I would have loved with that guy who got away either a better look at him before my parents literally had him begging to to kill him and he ran away as fast as he could or like something to say its him cause this when Police are looking – they do have that foresic verison of this its like a spary thingy and it sticks to cloths for weeks I think and cant get off and these stuff has a like only 1 provider of these forumal or whatever so they can like find the same codes when like scanning the crimscene in some way and track it to the robber who would have that all over them like I heard this ages ago so not sure if it works they way I tried to say but can imagine it like scorpians glow under UV light right and this spary thingy seems just like water like same kinda dropplets ect so you woudlnt think as burlary being covered in that is anything cause you wouldnt notice but the Police who are using that more and more from what I remember they said in Crimewatch or simialr programe with that same really good presenter , they will be able to locate and say thats for sure the clothing or whatever that was at the crime scene and the person who was wearing it cause still got these advanced spary stuff and I learnt how hard even more so and time consuming it is to go over a crime scene very tough cant make 1 mistake every little thing you do has to be carefull thought out you know and like I think 3 pairs of that white crime scene suit you see when they are like trying to keep things from being contaimnated not saying just for news level someone been attacked ect but just like anytime they have to work on a crime scene have to change that outfit into a new one exactly same like 3 or more times wow big respect 🙂

Thank you for listening I dont know this is helpful to me afte once again being fed up after simple here’s a clear lightbulb problem they need changing or as a whole the old system of wires needs to be fixed turned into like stress and me feeling like I am runing things again before Christmas for the safty of others and trying to hightlight dangers I see and they go ignored and the frustration of trying to highlight it and what the problems are thats where people get fed up with me and I am fed up nothing safty wise is being taken serious or simple fix with soon effect my Dad literrally said to me something somthing you go and pay for it then ??? in a like telling off tone and each time I said to an effect of ok we can go to the shops and get them it was you do it then and you pay – like its his house and business too which I am trying to be helpful in and feel like I am useless and anything I see which could be improved and had value to the buiness and safty and look better I get shut down and I’m not swmming in money in fact I spent like an hour or more scrolling through junk emails trying to clear space trying to reach the start of it cause of tyring to find out how to cancel subscriptions and learning I could type subscriptions in my emails after googling how to cancel ….. the brands account for like tv stuff which I cant get in this country and learning just today simple stuff in gmail can do and going through all the junk to clear and I get thrown in the face after seeing anohter lightbulb is gone and having about 30 minutures of talk turning closer to argument rage cause nothing was getting anywhere apart from my Dad relpalcing old with newer ontop of old and that doesnt fix the whole problem or safty of old ectrcis old bulbs fire hazards ect and on a look basias it looks stupid too for a hotel to have one bulb old next to a new one and this is the whole whats happend to that fire place room now and one blub was soo dirty I was like how didnt you see that since he was the one at first putting the bulbs in and changing others and I tried to just explain the look and how he missed it why and I got like most I’m avoiding you not listening I could get

Sorry

Next year I really hope when we can big scale change stuff around they fix the health stuff too health and safty and the tiny stuff like bulbs , sitcking toliet buttons ect its a hotel not my mate’s flat you know and we could get more money and I already think its too cheap and plus I thought we changed the frdige to a new one , got a toaster ect little new changes whats the difference they are electical why are we waiting for all the old bulbs to stop working or worse break and cause a fire espically with the Christmas tree next to some of them why are we waiting for them to fade out and die then replace how stupid is that sorry but you dont wait for your 40 years old fridge to finally give up before you change it and its lighbulbs not replace everything , you dont wait for hospital equipment to rust down till they have new adancements what is this A its stupid seriously B its a health and safty risk C its not presentable cause this is a hotel and I’ve seen enough Kitchen Nightmares , Hotel Inspector and Property Brothers to know old stuff go espically with updateing old house I know bad electric should go and can be dangerous or someone did a rushed job or legally it doesnt meet modern quaitly and safty standards like you see in that show Rip Off Britain all the time things are dangerous and are sold when they should be illeagle cause crooks trying to get cheap deal not all people not all shops but you see it on that show and else where we know it happnes I bought this toy and it caught fire after 3 days and when they check no certified anything wrong and more often danergous flamabible matierial or poor electircs you know old stuff or dodgy stuff needs out and I’ve noticed here soo many lights and electric things like I said was on that night I would feel like we were pushing it in our updated home in England on much less going on let alone a hotel size worth of electrics and new things like new wifi roater and new fridge which yes more effeicent but a 20 or so years old electric system is not built for that and 7 people and everything on at once and new Chritams lights everywhere ect and it will probly get worse near Christams when those 15 dinner party guests show up I am worried no joke how many times I have seen bulbs and whole power cuts here its outstanding soo often I remmeber in England ahh back in my day when had a powercut we read a book thats fine I liked that I wanted that as I got older and fed up with things a time for a break or to avoid doing school work haha but it like never happend apart from the old occaion or more often the wifi would crash and thats that not whole electrics going haywire I dont know if I could have tons more money and run this myself or with someone who had exprience I would fix soo many when alloed to by legal stuff but I hope my parents do when they can.

Side note I heared at times over this year or when we were getting this new place we will have solar panels , thats great 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 I look forward but as I thought today after the stress and turning into a carnival game how many light bulbs can you knock out and like that guy Bradly Bolt right in X Men origilns Wolverine I feel like my parents have no idea what electical work they would have to do and update in order for solar pannels withing the next year or 2 if they wanted if things went well we would have been further ahead 3 years wating for this for reasons but currently I know things can wait but when they do if they still deciced solar panels or its my Business at that point I will and I hope they do get a proper electrican and might as well like Proprty Brothers say re do it all to be safe and up to date plus more efficent 🙂

Looking soo forward to my own house and family safty and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

I’ve got the James bond theme stuck in my head now live and let die I am serious mama mia , I didnt know this begging part of the famous song till it was on tv when I was waching those James Bond films and the day after a few more James Bond that it was like very wordy with meaning like basically how as you get older life can close your heart you know like make you colder ect ect and I thought of my Dad seriously urgh just want everyone to consitanly be more open and say ah I can listen and maybe I dont agree but not in such a way where I feel like a complete uless and only they listen to my Brother I dont know before he got her my Dad and me new my Mum would pretend everything’s perfect all sunshine and rainbows despite clear unwell signs and her mood would shift like happy beams of sun and its soo typical in my family this but even today and other recent moments where my Dad has snapped at me for helping him its like what we knew and said then he doesnt see he’s doing it to me now and now I’m on my own cant do anything right even by him you know and the understanding part which surpirsed me and tried to keep me calm when I was soo angry that day and telling him what happend and we all knew its like that with My Mum over working cause my Brother is coming no matter if it was a week or more away everything is a rush or doesnt have to be a race I always say both of those things soo often but its like that side of him cooled of recent cause of his crazy moving the tree idea and smashed something which wasnt my fault and I barly said anything agaisnt him but maybe I did and is my fault but he was shouting at me from point of smash the blub like I had knocked over the tree or something I can explain this stupid plan later if I can ofocuse I talk too much probs bored you all maybe next year doesnt show half of you asleep cause of me oh dear me sorry but it was that maybe other little things and this simple lightbulb thing I felt like why do I bother moving here and living away from eveerything I knew friends and all to do nothing usefull to the Business currently for months nearly a whole year and when I try I get it in the neck you know when trying to be helpful or say somethings like poiting out with the bulbs something which is flawd (wrong not sure the spelling something thats wrong) and could be improved and I get treated like stupid as if I asked for a sports car and was selfish – thats why I do things like clean ect alone in private when nobody knows I do it and I dont tell I did it I dont boast maybe I say look I did this but I dont go round saying what I did every little thing I did like my Mum used to do when annoyed or angry I did this clean this this this this amd always I was like I know but doesnt mean like you have to be mean or annoyed or you should have let me do something or others were (me too sometimes) doing other things it was like a listing off of everything she had done in the day like look how hard I worked and I know like we dont apprecaite enough and its frustration that she was feeling but the constant I’ve done like 8 things by morning while I’m trying to eat breakfast or the moment I wake up and walk downstairs or if I was relaxing like I got soo fed up of this and I do my stuff best cleaning , extra stuff nobody sees in private and I’m more happy that way , my own time not rush rush rush and conastly if I was example washing dishes my Mum would be over my like halk its not like that or do that you know I just I am not ligbtnihg maqueen or flash Gordon I always say Flash Gordon for things my Mum wants done isntatly like move heavy box to here even when I wasnt well as you all know as quick as flash which not everything can or should be done as quick as possible and my Mum gets worked up about people are visiting or guests not we have a hotel or my Brother weeks before any of these people are due or days if it was like a friend visit our home example or they would visit at lunch time it was all rush the night before and morning for that friend you know rush around for days for people we arent due in weeks its bonkers and why she is pushing herself like Firrare and it did me in too trying to take charge and she still wouldnt stop and rest and I had to rush everything no break done one thing move that do that do aftet that do this its nightmare and my point was for my Dad to like throw the gentle care he had on the sofa that night and me trying to help us all with stuff for our buisness that need to be better I get it thrown in my face now that care gone cause of what urgh

I dont know sorry again I really sped up there about the cleaning rushing thing wow I dont know how this is soo easy and book writing is like skydiving

woah its nearly 5 must of wrote for like  3 hours or so not sure and now can have the cake thats been sitting on the desk for ages haha ah I just need peace a break and for like common sense and like just people to learn , stubborn isnt good nearly any time unless your stubbonly trying to keep the burglery locked in hahaa see a little light not in my garage but at the end of the tunnel 🙂 positive 🙂

Can you imagine I am famous one day maybe a authoer or working with Hugh Jackman 🙂 or as the next Wolverine and they go to like what was this famous person like growing up and they read all my Forum posts woah hahahah they will be in for a shock haha thank you all for allowing me here 🙂 and allowing me space to talk and get the feelings out 🙂

Sometimes this is better than counciling for me you know how my exprience went and like having this being able to talk and all the other cool topics and lovely people wow thank you 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

ooo imagine if this fourme is still going in like 20 years and my children are posting on here too wow 🙂

Doctor who 80th anniversary haha and like transformers 10 hhehe 🙂

take care everyone here and then 🙂 its 17:03 20/12/2023 see you 17:03 20/12/2043 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

Was just going through emails clearing time you know and Molly leaped from the sofa and went to the wood in a barrel section and I thought ooo something there , then I went back to sofa and Molly did too after a bit then again Molly moved and I heard a noise and then my Dad carried the box and I opened the door cause super heavy full of wood for fire , and I emptied the box one by one and little spider things ran out and literally a whole box and like stacked tons more wood on-top of that balanced haha so one by one very close to the end a big lizard haha 🙂

That wouldn’t have been good roaming around at Christmas with our guests hahaa but yeah looking after nature is most important 🙂

So I told my Dad to look and I got little twiggy and gentle pushed me out to freedom 🙂 and gave Molly 2 little treats for being a good girl and her detective skills and another creature / animal saved yay 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I dont know how many hey how are you’s you all can take hahahah sorry

Again with the chasing cause phone rang and the person who the phone belongs to this case my Dad is nowhere to be seen at it was the really important person who is helping us fix banky moving complicated stuff so yep couldn’t have been a worse time to leave your phone behind and it rang 2 times and I was upstairs after going to loo so didn’t wanna risk running flat out down the stairs especially in like these beachy water shoes that aren’t like fixed like shoes with laces you know they are more like chunky flip flops but no middle part near the toes, easy to shake or slide out off though they are good generally to use under feet with socks to I use to keep me extra warmer but yeah

I was thinking of positive things and like saying nice things on Christmas to you all here and most important phone caller and yet again leave our phone a million miles from ourselves and yeah oh dear but truly a little positive thing happened when I was in the loo seriously and wanted to short and sweet say so but then got fed up with the phone thing and how serious it is and I still don’t know where my Dad is and went out in cold to look over at car park and only my Brother is there so I’m not doing extra now chasing around and outside cold too for this I am not risking my health more than I need to you know not now I cant risk getting more worse.

So the positive thing 🙂 I was washing my hands and by chance in the cup that you meant to put toothbrushes in I saw little moth 🙂 I left my sliding doors slightly open for them last night and the fly that seemed asleep just above my bed side table but just then I saw little Moth guy and stopped instantly the tap in case it flew out the cup and into the water then I tapped the glass cup which woke him up whoops and frantkley (ps trying to find the spelling for the word and got measurements of speed and moving on fast from relationships hahaha 11:23) trying to dry my hands and find a flat thing at the same time he was moving and flying little bits nearly getting out the cup and I didn’t have anything flat to cover the cup before transporting so I used my quick thinking haha and used my other hand the palm part to cover the glass cup and headed for the door and had like one finger maybe the index or middle whatever its called just about able to pull the bathroom door open cause it sticks at a certain point cause wooden door around wooden frame simple enough to jolt you know with a hand but barley a finger ooo haha though I managed then had to re open my sliding doors after shutting them in case I was told off for cold air but trying make my room have fresh good quality air and I moved the door just and then pressed with my arm near the elbow pushed with that part of my arm even though it hurt and got little Moth outside and tapped on the glass a few times after waiting and he nearly flew back inside hahahaha but I was like air traffic control and waved my arms and he went inside the shutters of the sliding doors has shutter doors outside of them you see and he went inside there and I raced to shut the sliding doors so hey presto a Christmas Miracle and positive and is good I wrote more of this than the phone situation ah never a dull moment haha 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive and nature is lovely hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

Literally case in point about how things seemed to totally have changed being here than as was case in England – 10:13 now and my Mum about 3 Minutes in the cold in flipflops , pyjama legs and top oh and now 10:14 sitting out there on the metal bench what is going on soo fed up of how everything is backwards and changing

If I was out any moment and my Mum saw she’d tell me off cause cold and need to get well but oh no rules don’t apply to everyone else who is fine with that I checked temperature 17degress but forgot the name of where we live cricky I’m losing it so the one I typed in is other side and normally they are like ying and yang I hope that’s spelled right , if it rains there here no if its cold here there hot you know so who knows the temperature here but its very cloudy and cold so what is this I have no idea there’s been warmer days in England where my parents saying how cold it is urgh I dont know I dont want to be picky and complaining but I just feel soo like everything’s gone made constantly being told to wrap up ect when young and even to teenager ect like my Mum especially always worried I guess half normal but to an extreme concern that I need a jacket or need to be home at certain time before cold ect like I don’t know nobody listen to me half the time when I wasn’t cold it was days I was fine out but they told me off and have jacket or outside you’ll catch a cold or literally any time rained it was like if you are in the rain you’ll get a cold which is not scientifically correct or as any evidence for but they wouldn’t listen to that all the years I tried but now its cold I am not in frost you know but I can tell sitting here at the desk cause had to get the charger , in a jumper , jacket and long jean like trousers I can feel a cold let alone being outside in pijams

P.S. while I was editing this for a second time my Mum literally said all of a sudden she had a pain in her chest and my Brother’s parters was rightfully seeing that as a problem and asked about it and my Mum just battered it off like who cares type of thing and is walking in the cold down these tricky cobbled steps to the celler like come on why doesnt my Mum see this as you need to rest or warning signs nah lets keep pushing myself and in the cold outside why not like this is why I am soo fed up half the time and worried for my parents health espically my Mum 10@35 I feel dizzy now even sitting and feel like crying , I was doing well and the stress and physically activity my Mum said to do like move this or can you get this from upstairs ect that really did me in and just this stress and worry now not even moving from the chair I feel dizzy head like urgh I am soo looking forward to having a faimly of my own my own children and getting things right and not hiding how you feel away and pretending your Wolverine style healthy when something is wrong or your getting older and still think can do eve

10:39 I was mid sentence but my Mum’s phone rang and like my parents do they leave their phones around most of the hours in the day if they arent using them and so they go somewhere and I have to scramble in this big hotel to find them and get it to them on time and guess what it rang near the desk and my myself had to go out down the stairs to the cellera and yes I coughed a bit on way back but actually worse my head feels like its been compressed a bit at the front even while sitting back on this chair feels like a big weight there urgh 🙁 but I was going to say older people like my parents think they can do what they could when they were 20 30 ect years old phyicasally and worse they do more than they did back then espically my Mum like how crazy can things be I know I’m not perfect or a million families have various problems but from here I just like this isnt right and hope if I get a change to have my own family how ever long I have with them cause my medical condition I want it be positive and better much better than this thank you. —– 10:42 end of this post / 10:43 the time just changed ha I forgot it was an edit haha for spelling errors and yet again I go on rambling and things happen which I ramble about oh dear sorry everyone – 10:44

I need a holiday a happy one where things are normal haha

Thank you I know sound like my family are vampires or terrible you know of-course not but just a lot crunching and stressing me out and nonsense (especially as of recent days) I can tell as clear as day and I hope things fix x kiss and hug hoping 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive and warm hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Oochillyo.

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

Thank you for your kidness again soo gentle and kind people are on here , soo used to being attacked at school espically for being kind that I panic that all my rambles and like what could be seen as complaing would be like soo frowned upon but thank you

I am downstairs now , was talking to myself well texting myself about current symptoms just to keep it recorded –

I know colds, more like powerful colds that leave you in bed ect and most of my younger life espically on and on chest infections cause poor school teachers leaving me in the cold sitting on a bench when I couldnt do P.E. and I would be soo unwell and breathing poorly-  the reason I left that school in year 3 cause I was constalty getting sick and the teachers didnt listen and my medical things I know illness a lot but this week these days has been soo extrememe and sudden like I had little cold few weeks back and was like fixed from that by day 2 and just wanted a 3rd day of rest to make sure but this sprung soo sudden like my Dad being unwell my Mum too and I think close quarters with them it got to me and aprrenntly a lot of people in the villiage are down with something but it was like 3 or 4 days ago now it like rampt up soo much and like me had like everything going wrong – cough , something stuck in throat, dizzy , fever , joint aches in legs , white toung which I still have and has spread a little more , runny nose ect ect chest pain too its just all like bang and that night 17th I coudlnt breath for a moment cause the throat cough thingy and saw my Mum had the same thing happen 30 seconds later and everything really scared me how poorly we had been for soo long so thats why I was soo terrifed and certain we could die something serious could happen and thats that like Wolveirne healing you can heal but not from like film case a laser fired at Wolverine then another then another all at time time you know if it was just fever ok but like have all these things kicking you down at the same time even the fact just moving from one idel spot for 3 steps made me very dizzy and temperature change that isnt normal level of sickness

Today I wanted stay in bed but Derek is here and wanted to see the first interactions between him and my Brother but I kinda missed that cause my good hearing I heard my Mum saying all the stuff in the desk chair is cause I keep rubbish and that annoyed me I thought nah I’m staying in bed but I do like Derk and wanted see the interactions so I did go down and missed the first meetin and all the panacks nobody told me about which funnly enough I’ve just been shouted at to collect haha , keep away from people and rest not to spread germs and recover and its like nobody sees that when I am in different rooms or feeling the other night we are all unwell my family and my Brother and 3 more people visit and we all sat elbow to elbow first night’s dinner like these guests are elderly people one of which smokes I dont want to add more risk to thier health but its like cluelessness about germs spreading its be like a welcoming peoples to our guests which I understand and is normal but when you have flu or whatever this is which I literally bounced back from other cold in 2 days and this has piece by piece crushed me and my Mum down for getting close to a week thats not something to sit round the table with you know

 

I would do soo much different in my own house my own space I would probs be well by now if it wasnt the constant close quarters or small areas to be apart as much as can from others that just walk round coughing ect ect not getting themselves better like working on that as much as they could like my Dad going on a hill walk or digging when he was unwell or staying in that cold upstairs area when I told him its freezeing and you think ofcourse your still gonna be unwell and any other point in my life they would tell me the same like cold area cold room bad like my first bedroom was a box room and cold cause was the otuside walls of the house and I got sick a lot and thats another reason we moved to our other house in England before this one so you know common sense of rest and dont look at tv or any screens and stay in bed ect ect has flown out the widow for some reason from being here

Literally that big talk with my Dad it was mainly about my Mohter not resting pushing herself when needs to rest and getter better in various ways and the next day or 2 my Dad is in the coldest part of the house or walking the Dog in the cold Morning and I’m thinking what is this and I told him ‘going on a walk’ ? your not well ect and its like I got a batterd response soo crazy I seem like the only common sense about illness around here argh my stress oh I had another radio brain moment last night maybe its some fever effect or I’ve lost it cause it was like brief film scene stuff I belive and I knew it was happening like I know this thing now and I shut it down fast and it stopped so what is that about who knows ??

Thank you for listening again I’ve lost my talk little button hahaha and not even eaten my actual pancake which I was complaing about having none earlier even though my Brother defending me 🙂 thought I had eaten 1 already so good thing this time that slipped past my Mum and I have one to eat cause I could have ended up with ah ok someone else it eat and I wouldnt want to complain espically in front of Derk, my Brother and his partenr cause like I would be in a world of trouble and feel even more underserving and ruining any love or care I should have this close to Christmas well I dont expect or craving for this love thing but I just want to fly under the radar for now as to not make Christams even worse like I already have lost love for Christmas in past few years cause feeling underserved of anything and here this time I have to put a brave thankful happy face cause Brother here for first time , first Christams here for all of us and new guests and maybe 15 people coming around the table which given its 5 days away either we all turn into little Wolveirine and flues fly out the window or common sense say cancle the extra visitng people but given everything I’ve witness that would be thought about belive me so criky spread the germs not the Christamas spirt and joy it seems oh dear and my Mum was crying a bit yesterday and everyone had gone out on a look around the country thing when my Dad went and probbs drove and wasnt well again lets be out when not well and they only got back very late and it was dark from an hour look around to like 5 or something and it was night time coldness like what is this but also just me here and my Mum and Molly 🙂 and family stuff on the phone made my Mum cry and yes I am very shut down of how to help and plus didnt wanna be too phyycal close cuase unwellness both of us and dont want to make the unwell last longer but I tried little hug in a way and gave a kiwi on a plate I didnt really know what to do and we had little talk after like gentle stuff finally first time in what feels lke ages and put the tv show my Mum like on and then my friend rang and said he fianlly downloaed that Magic game I was telling you all that I was hoping he would and I was overjoyed and like instatly perked up and something to be happy about and I tried all logging in and stuff and felt guilty for this and checked with my Mum if wanted anything or sit next to her and was no so I like did my thing and had big call time with my best buddie and relaxed and happy and at night the rest come back and that was the big soup night cause I felt soo full after I said my friend maybe I will rest cause I wasnt good for carry on playing games like very full and like just needed to take it slow I knew so yeah but ups downs spinning all around orangy lines in sneezes white tounge Christmas time white Christamas in a differnt way and sorry if this makes you feel quesy how do you spell that like feel bit like ooo I’m put off my dinner you know sorry if thats the case but hope can understand why these past days to week has been soo out the odrdianrly even for sickness

Thank you for listen its 1 pancake time haha 🙂

Take care everyone stay healthy if you can especially winter times 🙂 teas and camomile tea warm beds honey ect 🙂 stay positive love hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I know sounds silly but numbers time ect maybe like an over reactive mind about it I’ve said brief before like time checking I do a lot and is important and annyoing at same time to me so I know I’ve wrote lot to put a mountain inside a tea pot when I say ‘lot’ hahaha bit like the Tarids but yeah I didnt wanna leave today’s date on 3 messages I know but please mainly why I used to type tons even maybe off topic stuff or in all the sections avalaible just look its not the only reasons or maybe a big think and just keep it short I tell myslef but yeah in time maybe I can explain that aspect of my brain.

So I watched bit more James Bond films – had to refrssh my mind as to what the Winchester is about sorry if I talked at  .. there’s a word I cant remember but a lot and possible the wrong talk for this section sorry deeply but I hope my helping and deserving words all true from my heart still are seen and reconsizied as imporant even if they are in this section

My Eye feels bit painful probs red and dry, still quite unwell havnt even been outside apart from breif like 20 steps total looking at the car park when family is driving somewhere and I watch but really havnt been outiside since this cold or whatever it is – no walk with new friend so yeah but I guess I could do somethign like read more ofcourse James Bond back to back for 2 days in a row kinda distracted me hahaha I will know it all one day ha 🙂

Good ones again today but I think was only 2 or 3 films this time not the 5 watched and still going till midnight it seemed as was yesterdays Bond erm avalablity who knows what words I was looking for there haha.

Had soup before late cause was shivering and hot then boiling and shivering and boiling in a never ending cycle I didnt move for dinner till I was shouted at like 30 mintures later to eat haha

Seriously this cold lets put it simple that way this cold is crazy its like if I move body temrperature isntanstly chances or I am dizzzy or something else often like 5 things like with that radio thing – its like a roallercoaster even my Mum said about how she felt she said rollarcoaster

But yeah past few days I’ve noticed if I stay in one spot I am fine like temperature stable but move and we go like yo yo and all the moving and stablinging ect head banging problems happen when moving ie I watched like 5 James Bond films yesterday cosy as can be not yo yo ign haha

but yeah to put it short its not like that simple all the time like its not hot to cold and back every time I move a step or such but just if I go from one idle location to another the walk there or having to do something seems to ruin all the body’s systems for me right now so I better off I thought in one place but the night my Brother and guestes were arriving and I 3 hour typed a post trying to stop typing haha I felt like tighening of the legs so maybe I sat in like a postion as if you were on a four leg chair but a sofa so legs down cause the knee bends but my back on sofa’s back (dont know what its called) and laptop moslty placed on legs near thighs and that maybe for hours did no good for circuation that time even though I leart these past days rest and dont move very much haha

But tonigth the reasons I had soup soo late – I went loo freezeing upstairs like I said (somewhere in my posts) and when got back it was like yo yo cold , boiling , hot , ect I got my jacket around me and huddled for warmth I got too hot or my head comfortbly looking slightly down like craddlle possition the heat probs cause the blood went all to my head and that was boling again and on and off soo fast every time one temperature I tried to change back to ‘normal’ it swung the other way to the extreme I was literally waiting and trying to get normal temperature or warm enough to wear I could move off the spiny desk chair and go to eat dinner and everyone complaining how dinner was ready ect and I ate on my own after 30 mintures of this and about to get music on cause was still yo yoing and was soo told off I had to go eat soup and first bowl was still quite hot so if I had that when everyone else did I would have burend my tounge haha and then what my Mum said was a bit left was actually anohter bowl worth and I wanted get back to lapotp and relax and body temeprature stablizing and warmth as fast as I could so swallowed the whole thing after tiny spoon check for temperature in like 3-4 goes hahaha 🙂

Rambling on again but yeah I’m still not well well very unwell still but its either 1 medication I keep getting forced to have cause I’ve lost track how many tablets ect are in the house and who’s meant to have them, but my Mum says take this have you took this (I dont even know what I’m meant to have like nothing was given to me by a Doctor but hey oh Mother knows best 🙂 ) and even now I was typing soo much I havnt had the other tablets hat are on this table and the drink as of yet whoops haha

So its either these constant tablet stuff 8 hours gap this but take this other thing too all the time lot of stuff and more natural stuff like honey in warm milk which I am used to and know is good and herbal things 🙂 or its 2.1 haha maybe 3 that I am trying although I would do better on a desert island for all I try haha to stay still or wrapped on the sofa stay in one location basically and I feel pretty good none of the scary serious stuff happens then only when I move , go to freezeing upstaris for loo or asked to do something or move form a to b cause dinner ect or fetch / carry something

but seriously this is soo new to me but I relaissed like I said either here somewhere or to Melda or myself to remmeber it – past few days I’ve relaised dont move is working apart from the sitting postion time where I think it screwed up my blood cirutations in my legs

but if I stay put like on the sofa watching James Bond all day ect I recover from any problems I had from previous overworking myself to carry something ect and all the things I said above plus about baically anything thats not ‘rest’ but yeah I feel great not great like fixed but much better every morning after sleep cause technically I just lay there and turn as I do in sleep but its a slow movment thing right and sleep is good ect , and if it was laying in blankets on the sofa even if though I’m awake and watching tv or on laptop / both often haha / I’m fine its just when have to move from a to b or do something it goes disaster soo easy like that roaller coaster yo yo and I dont know if its the medicne tablets extra wearing off but always get the worse effects when the day is longer like later hours of the day like 8 ect 9 ockicl ect to late espically if something previous done me in haha even yesterday cause new day now 02:24 haha I was fine when going to loo dont know mid day like there was light , I went loo at night and took bit longer and that like everything went loopy again freezing , hot , boling the dinner missing event all cause of that and I dont know why cause upstairs as I have noticed as become the coldest area suddenly over these few days but didnt effect me before that late dinner time , well time even with sleeping last night’s sleep (new day) I I had my sliding door open a bit for fresh air and most nights I do now quite open and was fine I think the none momvent of sleep and laying down on a bed or sofa or being still apart from fingers typing when on a chair or if reading a book its all working to help me reover I feel like 80 percent good maybe more every morning cause of that and then the stuff of the day drags me back to crippling in a way illness and fear the other night it was soo bad my Mum and me or 1 of us could die , and that was a day of tons of stress over overdoing things of being ask to move heavy things or clean a lot and that like was the closest again I felt to I’m gonna die and not cause like I told me , Melda or here somewhere not cause of being like in an accident like a crash but from a health losing reason at 21 so yeah short and sweet I cant complete sorry

soo much going on right now guests , Christmas , family and me being really unwell , stress of moving here like trying to get that fixed like puzzle pieces lot going on and I guess my other half wants to say it and not forget it ever but then I feel soo stupid I keep doing this and sorry everyone

I’ll write some book things maybe and send to show you all maybe that will be more positive and east as pie 🙂 not like rocket pyscoaneltic science haha even that was very tricky to write.

wow 02:33 that word above / is a real word not something I thought I mashed together haha and I was gonna close to spelling it right for a new mashed speedy word – psychoanalytic ta da learn something new everyday  02:35 20th 12 2023 🙂 love and peace health happiness Sunshine warmth company family friends love health joy hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Good Luck everyone 🙂 and good Health appreciate it while its working 🙂  stay strong 🙂 love you all 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Take care stay positive hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I’ve zoomed back in some more 75% and can see woah its like writing advice better word than massive erm Glactaus haha like Marvel ect – and I normally have my screen at 90% and sometimes 100% so I havnt done that yet and was just like whoops I look soo selfish for writing all this blob espically with all the spelling errors and things I didnt see but is gonna be really annoying for people to try and read and mainly I was thinking hahaha I wrote a whole page like 1 2 3 on this fourme – sections and pages , and I dont think I did but either way I feel soo stupid and sorry that I like a sandwhich englufed the sympathoy and support line you mentioned  @Craige and you know I was looking for this and at same time if I had done a page and relazised where is it and hence looking and maybe the looking was after that see how much thought – but I thought maybe on other page , no – I like totallty eclipsed it and I’m sorry

I tried make this short too I really seem to struggle with that maybe my Brother was right its a skill and I’ve got a major like problem with it like the reading thing nobody understands well that’s how I thought but you lot cared erm but maybe trying to stay focused but thank you all for care you give to me who don’t deserve and is probably the most annoying here , I was thinking if I type a lot and my posts are therefore so like noticeable I might as well say good do good highlight good and have to go now cause making noise but

Thank you @Craige for highlighting and giving the link to that helpline especially around Christmas time never know even if your in or close to that situation when you may need it and they could be really helpful to you even if you think you don’t need it /yet or that you don’t deserve

Deserve you do and help yourself too sometimes like take care of you and others too 🙂

So goodness I hope to highlight most 🙂

And maybe that’s a way to use this ‘thinking typing lightning’ for good here and maybe can develop elsewhere and flourish our little flowers – humans nature world life good health love 🙂

Any suggestions to help me help more or what we could do as a group/community lets talk about that or let me know too maybe here in follow up posts or actually maybe its best a new section either way Good Luck and maybe my none stop typing if I can type good messages and things you all wanna bring up but like as if I am the amplifier not to boast but just cause I seem to type the most ha but yeah let me know 🙂

I wanted to make each day matter , count , do something right that I will be happy to look back on after this week really bad stuff happend and in the late evening I thought and expected my Mum and me or just one of us would die that night on the 17th and kinda since then 20th wow I trying do or make something important in the day like I learned a little language the day after – I guess this whole talks are important to even if I sound bannas with the previous ones but I think has importance at some level to others and is very important to me and thank you for listen

but yeah I dont say everyone has make every day perfect or cant forgot for a bit ect but think I said here somewhere over the rainbow cause I’ve wrote like books worth here and pieces in my own book haha or defiantly what I said to Melda 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 but life precious make each day count be proud of what you did and the memories in your life for you what makes you proud like example I tried little language learning , next day maybe read a book its a challenge but that would be like yes it was good time used 🙂

Positive let me know what you all think

Take care everyone stay Positive Hugs Love Health Sunshine Kindness Help and Hugs 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

this box looks soo small now haha with the zoomed out magnification the same 🙂

Woah I think nearly a whole page in one haha hole in one 🙂

I feel like a little Jeklin and Hyde this is my calm careful spelling correcting ease me especially after hours of wow haha but yeah Big Cook Little Cook was another show haha 🙂 wow maybe I should do this ? more often like if I write a lot and maybe a lot less yes than whats above but then have zoomed out still and it looks like a little summary or an explanation section could be its use ect I forgot what I wanted to say about that first part like my finner review process lets say haha

Thank you all for kindness and I have just gone too many words where its moved down even at zoom out haha so keep it short me haha

thank you all mmm its a book for those who love to read although clearly by a 10 year old haha sorry 10 years old it was cause all the spellings errors and yes I saw the s on spelling(s) and got rid and then decided nah here’s to little 10 year old me who had a lovely year 🙂

I had more to say even after the end haha I wanted say soo much and now I forgot ha oh my see maybe more sleep and radios hopefully a good song no stuck loop, ah yes fixing spellings was one when I said I am better in small chucks with spellings and then rambled and maybe not I am too fast stop haha

I would love someone record me cause you can see where this is going and it started small and was pretty much ready for send hahaha fingers say no and I brain me my name say mo , po Kung Fu Panda , I say yes sorry I tried to rhyme now time for bed ahah he said 🙂

Fixed it at the end just about thought bed and then said how but can see my working mind in progress with the parts like ahhh haha just hopefully you don’t see a radio in mine haha 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs and love 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

 

I literally scrubbed everything apart from my traditional hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂 from what I wrote of about 30 minutires I’m not totally sure right now but time is 23@07 and I can check later and maybe update you all if your intrested

I know maybe I’m weird or its a kind of OCD but time checking time recording is really important and yes annoying for me but if I had perfect memory I wouldnt care I could say at exactnyl 22:33 Luke jumped out of bed haha I thought of name Luke cause Sarah Jane Adventures Luke has perfect memroy 🙂

I cant belive I did a like 90% full bin and re write but maybe was best and I did learn little things but had to start over cause it was a jumble even for me and like what my Brother told me yesterday and like its crazy like a re write in books what I’m saying and the tone is compelty different than what I wrote before wow its like a parraele or like a split a new time line haha that idea of time travel and paradoxies and maybe we could time travel like but it would create a parrele version of us I think I havnt listened to this stuff for a while I used to but since being here slowly just learned to keep going and when we are settle (by here I mean our new home and the country we have moved to not about this forume dont worry 🙂 ) then I will like re enjoy the stuff I loved and feel like I’m not wasting time espically if I had a job or a next step

You know I just discovered like 10 mins ago I wrote the time when I relaissed at 23:04 now is (23:12) that I can extened the box like woah 🙂 I never knew or I messed it up ages ago and didnt relazisse cause I even thought hey this is quite small but thought maybe it was cause of being at the bottom of a page 1 2 3 4 ect while typing haha but now its like a massive sheet of A4 paper and I can see like clear paragraphs , see me write yes smaller words cause I zoomed out to 50% cause coudlnt find a shrink writing option like on word so thought ah my words too big cant see much at a time zoom out laptop but this is perfect and feels likr writing a book but proffesionally and makes this soo easy like it looks neat for me 🙂 in chunky paragraphs how I was kinda stessfully taught in school haha which is another aspect I developed from writing stresss at school that stuck with me but it looks lovely 🙂

I proberly will send a before and after noticing this feature in addition to the slopy to be frank (what does Frank mean poor people named Frank sorry x kiss to them and hug 🙂 ) but yeah it was soo jumbbled even I was lost but this is amazing maybe it will still be tons of writing and lot of scrollng for those not zoomed like I am enought to see Earth haha writing technicuqes that maybe shouldt use haha its confusing really 100 different interperations but yeah it is soo nice for me and I really do feel like I stepped up and like its all natrual this is what I needed to see everything all the time I nearly said the film name and was thinking that is little funny then panicked in casue of copy right and seeing rude so changed to all the time but seriously its like my head and eyes were on the leaf and I could see a little area at a time like the Dummeing Grugar Effect explained visiolly the shadow of unknow and little circle of light of whats know – but its like that and I just stood up and saw the whole leaf or like a mircrosope 🙂 this is soo freeing and helpful I was noticing I felt like this is smaller as I said before but now I know I can fix it on my screen its not a forum technical think that I was like seeing 10 lines of full text at a time with 3 gaps in between so 13 lines now its like well –

– to 34 then I hit wrong button and it was all gone and big blank page but phew undo button 3 times fixed woah 23:24

yes 34 lines and 5 spaces 23:26

Its crazy I stuggled to count from 3rd line down to 7th yes there is a gap line but I was couting the words first and I was struggling to keep coutnting in one chain over and over and like I had the panci its all gone but I have it pasted on messager in the little screenshot box and when double checking when I did undo cause I was about to count when I aciddently made everything vanish better than magicias on X Factor I counted on the little picture in messenger like to cross reference with this and I counted faster no problems no confusion and its smaller yes I had faint idea it might be 34 but wasnt sure I even thought it was 31 or 32 till I saw my wiritng about 34 but like something just was soo easy about counting paragraph lines the thing I couldnt get past 7 to 8 without stumbling over and over and I fixed that in like a minute of that problem coutning better faster like it was nothing the whole thing in once quick go woah – seriously something is there in the mind , physcology ect , sometimes like I said before I wanted to be famous or like listened to did something imporant and I’m not super genuis but like a lot of famous people in history that made a step forward for us all they noticed a faint thing and it grew , like OCD maybe and like speech inpedements + that condituon where its very challening for a person to say anything but they know what they want to say to even like stroke affects I’m not a genuis or qualifed and I dont know if I’ve got it all wrong and I do feel I may have been rude and offensive to people suffering with these hardships but something is there like when I read a book and you know I all struggle reading but I know if I know the words that like follow like if I know  say cause I am really sruggling with reading but if I knew 3 words I could push myself to say all tbose 3 words in one go like he sat down – say that in my head like anybody would talk he sat down, even in comics I found it such a challenge to remmeber what was next the next word where did the sentence stop sometimes in the middle for books and or comics and thats like I say one issues layed ontop of a mess where I struggle with reading but is seriously I have gone off off topic but I dont care sometimes I need to do that maybe to relaise there is a bigger picture than me or something I’ve noticed and put as much effort to highlight it to others cause who knows others could tell others and something could be noticed and helped or fixed espically in this modern world like sometimes I used to see on the news person with condition only 1/3 have in the world type of thing and awarness of something most nearly all never noticed or care about is important to raise awerness for and highlight and learn how we can help if can be done

 

I know I wrote tons and lots the track miles ago but seriously I wrote tons before and deleted it pretty much and when trying to go simple I cant it seems and I noticed something about me while trying to sooth this out while learning the box can be grown in addition to shrunk and maybe thats how we need to treat the world to open our eyes and minds to look out and grow from the small to the big and notice something you never know and maybe was hidden soo well but could help others like that dumming gruger effect (maybe wrong spelling) and I sort of felt like a momentuous occasion sorry that I forgot how I wanted to say the notice something part but hope it makes sense but yeah like the visual diagram/picture you see for that ‘whats outside of knoweldge and what little we know’ maybe here has simply shed light on there’s more we could learn and I’ve opened something up or maybe just me but I wanted to highlight that in a round about way and I forgot what the top section was about before I had this woah moment and literally my whole point being here today on the forume to post a small thing which I have tried to write for maybe 2 hours haha I wanted to talk about memory loss like I did before , that 30 second kinda of blip and literally noticing it again where I couldnt remember simple a to b events of did I go loo then dinner then mouthwash these elements were the key but I didnt know which order around the meory key chain they went I love that sorry but wow 🙂 I used to be like this a lot (23:42) where I would think something soo amazing woreded right or an idea something and nobody knew and if I told it like to the news I would be famous full stop you know I used to have like flashes of ideas or words in my head note pads of wow thats a like scientific discocroy or just knowing something others would never think I knew or an level over that and like these ‘invention’ ideas like umberallas for washing lines I still think of this and love it I guess I had this spark and cause your a kid or even a teenage nobody cares or belives you and like I noticed its gone that rarly happens to me espically since it used to be soo common I knew I should have been listend to not selfishly but maybe I had something that could change the world or help people even small areas if someone could listen and do it

One time and yes I’m not a genius or superman but when I was 10 cause I remember this year the most for lots of reasons –

about 5 girls or 7 not sure now and me +2 boys there was another boy but dont know if he left half way through that year or very start of the next and this is year 4 for me

I have always been shy as nobody can tell haha even today shy with new people still and look noboody thinks there’s a million 10 year olds that are all genuis althought you do get rare cases like Eienstine or people just naturally smart at younger ages not sure exact age or like they do work above thier level lot of films like that moving to uni when they are 14 cause super smart – Young Sheldon example ;

And in news tv films ect – are you smarter than a 10 year old , spelling Bee’s ect there are really smart children and young people and I’m not that I dont know actually noboddy well I dont have a way to test but even at 10 I’m not a genuis the other 2 boys well actually pretty much everyone in that year group of mine and I was a year older than most of them reaching to 2 perhaps with the gap between me and youngest in our small class – all of them pretty much genuises and some more than others like the person who was the oldest till I joined and they at 10 years old or younger (and moving through the years of school each year obviosuly haha) I remmebr them doing papers and talking to the teacher about like the mass of the sun and doing like algerab but soo complex and they all did 11+ and me no like this was and I cant belive the most smartest people I knew

and so to my point in year 4 at age 10 shy me in the corner sit of the room with one of the best teachers asks a question and nobody knows but I do I am not joking I did but I was soo scared and shy and there was this kid there who my parents knew his parents since we were babies and so I knew him in points of my life but he bullied me like really bullied me even when I was 5 and terrfies me to this day that guy even my Mum (19/12/2023) said to someone past week how that kid told me when I was maybe 9 or 10 I should die , and that I wasnt anything really I mainly remember the die part for my health reaosns and it hitting me like a rock couple weeks ago I just listening by accident to my Mum on call about my like mental stuff and I thought it started later and I knew I had few visits with a nice conucisor when I was young but it all blanked out from my head how much I was bullied I knew it I’ve always know for example some in that class cause I said I didnt like a girl who I loved my first love and stupidly told someone at lunch one day and she on top of the stairs I remember it soo clear – going to the extra learning help flat out asked me do I like her and she was at like nearly top of the first flight of stairs and I was on ground floor and I said no cause I knew I would be laughed at and they turned that no between me and one person yes I lied but to protect myself this nasty girl who I see what she posts ect today and how horrible she was to me of recent year when I tried to inform her about a health risk to herself and others like try to do good cause her ‘do this’ could harm lots of people including her and that girl I liked in six form went through that and was in hospital for weeks and she hates me to this day that six form girl

I sometimes dont know why I bother when people can be soo nasty and rude when you try to be kind and helpful when you’ve known them too for good time

anway I said no and I I belive cause it happend soo fast it must be next day that nasty girl and that kid who bullied me , I was walking to the place where the lunch hall starts to eat my lunch and that girl near the extra toliets where you go right to the lucnh hall she out of knowehere come up to me or noticed me if I remember I think she was exiting the lunch hall or literally like 3 feet left apporaching it and she laughed perpahs but she was soo nasty and called me Gay and I was soo cofused little 12 year old me and I was going to get to a table to eat and everyone that scary kid , the other boy I think really smart guy too and maybe few others girls all there laughing and looking and some saying words like gay ect its like long time ago but I remember those moments not precious sentences and the girl I liked on her own and like she couldnt stand me and everyone called me gay for the whole year and that was the last year in that school

so yeah I write lots lots the track a million times but those people and that kid bullied me from joinging near end of year 2 I went down a year when moved t0 the last year year 6 in various ways I was shreeded by people on soo many occasions I do remember even 10 or more years on and I forgot soo much my Mum still knows and said on that phone call – and that phone call just learning what that kid did to me all I forgot and he is the reasosn I hated school even more and thought I was better to die and told my parents about what if I die ect ect he was the pillar of why I had my first councilour and I blocked out the cause to effect all this time till last week or so like wow

and I have tons I remember and I’ve been builled a lot from people in that school to secondarry school soo many ways and I knew I didnt like school when I was young like 5 or maybe more cause new exporence but at some point I really wanted it to stop I hated homework thought it torn my family and me apart lots of stuff I could go into honest but I know all my ‘school life’ I’ve been buillied not every day but maybe years consecitive in cases and key punch in the memory moments

I remember my first nightmare and the one after direcetnyl after and maybe the third but is maybe lost now somewhere in my mind

I knew when I was 5 or 6 cause we had neighbours in a nice little colldysac not sure the spelling I knew one of those neighbours was a boy Billy – and his best friend Alex and I was 5-left that school turning 8 years old that Billy lived on the same little seculted thing as me couple houes left and my literally next door neighbour was maybe year older and he scared me and was very villiont but also at times a friend maybe most often if not terrfied and I was of him and his house and his family and watching Harry Potter bus scene I think maybe 6 years old for a breif momnt in his house and corraline too a big chunk of that and he did stuff I can see myself why I was terrifed but kept falling for it (00:11 20th) now I see it and right it now and my first bullies one a niegbour and his best friend bullied me in that school I was terrifeed of Alex espically this close to me villiot neigbbur boy I didnt really till now like I said see him as bully I was kinda friends and even he went to my big school and I saw him for a time and was like wanting his friendship and when seeing him in corrdirors or saying I know him to the boys who I am same age as but moved year down so not in thier class they woudlnt belive that but I say I know that guy so I think only now I see as danger with him

but yeah first pre school I think there was a bad kid maybe I was 4 I remember a bad day though tolit accident you know being 4 years old maybe little younger

there’s good days yes but each school and has you age and can remember more maybe stuff got burried but I know it now on top of what I knew recent school bulliying ect like in seoncadary shcool so yeah maybe its all why I am shy still and have troubles meeting new people ect literally again forgot the point of this and not to be like please comfort me but something somewhere when I was typing there was a point and I will know it some day when I read all this sorry if you have to read this all probepty best its left frogotten and in new year I will come back small stuff like I said little talks and leave you all alone for a while

If I could write this much this quick of orginal stuff like my book or doctor who stories I would be like wow it would be soo useful and maybe I would have finsihed a book by now and thats weird too like massive massive chuncks of this I never thought I would type or say or do and I am now actuallry faintly saying the words as I type like in Doctor Who one word at a time not sure where thats from  or a horror film like if you say the word it write it like whats gonna happen the more you say I know that somehwe ahhhhhh 00:17 I knew it was Doctor Who was thinking of like that aniema that bad book think or Until Dawn ha but its like the Angels Take Manhatten where reading the book causes the events to happen its like that right now where I am tryping this word at a time and talking the word gentle as I literally type it I really do think soo fast and just noticed I was doing that and it remindime me of something cause normally well I think with this much writing this fast I dont say anything or even think talk like I try with books maybe thats the difference like I am making the words yes but I am not trying to multipe task my mind and my mouth at the same time while reading I just fly and my fingers like I had little talk with my brother about not needing to look at the keys yes I make spelling erroes ect but I am not looking at the keys I look at the screen and I am doing that now in a like 4th wall breaking way you know like seriosuly this week or soo has been soo strange from like extra setentual dread not sure the spelling to like feeling out my body in a way to typing at talking the think I dont know I will type at the same time what is this week of crayness I am not like coo coo but wow I do wish I was like being tested by a doctor or something for this skill maybe of extreme typing and like what it means to me for me my brain and its activity ect my middle fingers joints are feeling numb too wow how can I write this all or even a little less is still a big chunck for others like my typical I’m sorry it was a lot which I do feel sorry about but its like a rythem how can I do this with no planning with like dozenes of side tangets faster than I could speak all this one thing and I cant scratch out a few setences of my story without gridning myself or in an odd good day what is this —- about — ? I dont even plan like anything I say when I get to rambeling but in a book its like gridlock the dictorinary term (I slowed down trying to spell dictornary and sped up again right now haha) but why is this easy eays I cant stop its like, if I could keep going for long time more I could not tired much hands this is soo free flowing whats in my mind I am not even aware of it and yet at school or writing my book I was never never this quick on laptop or could write soo much what is this I am fast but the zoom out which I actuallty have wrote soo much its getting cramped how can I do this and other stuff writing typing reading is a roadblock to no where no this ?

 

last night I was trying to keep warm and sleep cause unwell and all of a sudden and I told my Mum this

Side tanget I noticed sorry 00:28

– it was like something in my brain just woke up and I noticed like the unciousns who knows but you know that thing where you hear a song perefcryl in your head even without the music of that song – it was that which I’ve had many times in life and has faded away and maybe is a sign of brain development like that nostaigica Vsacue vidoe maybe nostaiga feeling occurs more when we are young and stops at like 30’s or somethign I dont remmeber exact cause of brain development ect but I dont get that I hear songs much anymore

back to now 00:29 just started haha I was trailing off sorry but last night before midnight night so the 18th I was trying to sleep and like I said something went off in my head in my mind and I got that song effect of like Prince I could see a song I literally dont remember what it was now but at the time was soo clear it was like a radio in my head and it wouldnt stop but not just that of films , of scenes , of names , of others songs , literally I cant remember but like everything at once just anything it was crazy and even when I knew this was going on cause I was awake I couldnt stop singing the song and one I rememebr now was about Rocky the boxer and a song I must of listened to eariler in that day but just everything overlapping that song perfect word for word Mr T also was there maybe Baywatch husslehoff and whatever that song maybe purple rain by Prince or something or a james bond thing I could sing the first part over and over and over again perfectly even when i didnt want to and was trying to stop and shut off my mind and I was like kinda awake I was looking at my bedside table yes in the dark at first cause this exprience like jolted me and I wasnt asleep I was trying to get to sleep and when it occoursed and I quickly noticed this was wierd I turned the light next to me and still that song ect all this happend even with the light on and me literally fighting myself to try and shut it up but it really got stuck singing those first couple lyrics and tune or if it was a theme song over and over and had to phycally turn over and like just in a way pretend that part of the room didnt exist I was away from it and trying to shut off this literally like radio tv thingy in my head what is that I have no no idea apart from my Mum said cause of Fever and she saw vision stuff when she had the fever not sure which day this happend for her as we have all been very unwell but she said the fever made her like see things and I have heared of this and know this makes sense in that way and all this fever affecting brain and mind and your kinda awarness was a main reason on top of a lot of others reaosns that led me to a panic thinkin I might have given myself brain damage from too high of a fever for well most of the day and that was the day before I think the day I really thought I was going to die and told Melda all my sympromts ,  but no -last last night like going itno the early hours of the 19th this sudden like radio I even thought there was like a light I know but like a kinda yellow light simialr to the one I’m under now ha but like as if it was in my mind like an xray but I could see it a area of where probelry my brain is situation in the skull seemed liek pow and just going on film scenes dialagoe songs ect like I said espically the songs and lyricas which is why I think of it more like tv and mianly a radio type thing something crazy happend to me that time untill I had to push myself away from it its crazy even I was awake and had the light on and knew its my mind stop this cause it seemed like that classic radio song that goes into your ear and you remmeber sometime it was like that but only for like 5 seconds cause I dont know how long but I felt bombared with everything at the same time – of which I can remember and described here like movies lines , Prince and some repatead song , Mr T ect I said all of that all at once and sometimes and this was brief it was like a classic disney thing where its on the note pad or Micky Mouse is on that boat and its like flip box animation it was like flipping to different things that still had like more than 5 things going on at once and it would aslo go back to things I thought about in the previous barriage like people I knew the faces of Mr T example film scenes ect but really that Prince image like purple jacket sparkle ect that got stuck along with a begging of a song I knew well that moment but had thought of or remmebrr or heard in years and a song that was either Prince related but compelrty different from the song I didnt even know I knew but the one I feel like maybe was Prince (as I sit here typying trying to explain 00:46 Morning) related or that I know word for word the begining of that song was on loop and I think Michiele Jackson appared in realltion to this song and or with Prince in a like flip book style where in my mind everything is racing and I see Prince and I see Michele and then example Mr t Then Prince and that song which I really dont remember but was on loop just like the first setence or whatever of a song like the first couple of lyrics with and I forgot to type the actually perfect tune and beat ect to this song as clear as day timed perfectly thats why its like a radio I could see Prince and hear this song and the song all parts of music and songs you would hear like the insturments or vocal changes ect ect was perfectly clear and pefect to how I could see myslef knowing the song was perfectly correct with the ‘real world version’ that my subcionc or whatever was playing to me I knew it was pefect I could sing to it you know thats how clear it was in my head I maybe even sang to it at the start cause in car jounreys the music ear thing thats when that most often happen to me when I was young or in showers and I would try to piece the next words and try to keep the tune how the voice sang everything as best I could and it was soo like only could do brief to like hearing it example if in shower as if I could again hear a radio next to my ear this time or in front of my head and I could sing it along with the tune in my head this happend to me a lot there’s a scicncy think VScause even mentioned it like that humdingger or whatever effect but that night (recent night) was soo turned up to 11 I was overwhelmed I thought like I saw literally inside of my head but with like a yellow light and it was a side on view as if I was on the other side of my bedroom and looking down a bit and like had I dont know laser zoom something even thinking of it then and now felt like Simpsons and like where they go in 3d land or something and his head is like clear it was like that for a bit not sure when that occursed or such but I can see it I can like faintly see and remember it (see as in picture it like from meorry kinda clearly) soo weird and then I was mainly whenever this zoomed out x ray type head thing happend or stopped mainly it was the close up I can see music vidoes or Prince dancing or Mr T or Hassolf Hoff moving I guess I could see with that head thing it zoomed in and was like one of them old fashioned 80’s radios like had anntenna ect (like we had at home but a more modern one actually) and then it became that classic turn table music device with the stylus right and the disc spinning it was soo weird but mainly got the images as crystal clear as could be of people , famous people , words like quotes or funny moments form films or tv shows like Joey and Pheebe from friends maybe Racheel too at the appretment where they played games night the main studio room set , powerful moments from films like a desert setting and old Clint Eastwood , then Indiana Jones like the film version so could see Harrison ect it was soo strange happend in a flash like it jerked me then strarted to scare me espically the part where the song my mind kept going over the same lyrics and tune over and over and Prince and him dancing in that purple sparkly jacket and like leg kickin and turnling round the micstand with the micriphone attached was the main image I saw while this song looped and didnt literally stop I coudlnt stop the song or singing and hearing it and hearing me sing it at the same time in my mind even when I was awake with the light and trying to block all these out all of it and the reaming elelemnts like the song and Prince and like few others out my mind but the song I coudlnt stop singing it hearing it perfectly but on that shoort loop and I was soo terrifed and decided turn over facing the other side of the room so looking at the door and moving a bit on the bed to that right side ->

and literally as I type and try to remmeber as much I can and still can see a lot and focuse on different parts now like meories one at a time like the radio in my head I can see I am remembering a cartton moment that terrifed me when I was young and still does to this day if I ever remmeber it and this other one more friendly but still scared me and I saw it on ah our dvd case in England while back and probs when backing to move

and I remeberd numberjacks haha when trying to work out how I knew the second scary memory but yeah all childhood tv shows now stuff like the trains ones ect the scary one I dont want remember I watched a remeber this 2000’s kids shows things earlier this year or such and it was soo like relaxing and intresting then my nightmare show in a way was in the video and all the tramar and genuine fear came back to me as a 20, 21 year old and I told me friend about it and he remembers watching it too when young and even now just thinking and typing this and trying to get this section done as quick as possible cause I can see it can see the vidoe clip about it ooo

This was long really wow though and I know tons spelling errors I kinda wanna go cause 1 Its late , 2 typing is noisy when typing quick and not good spot when have to be quiet people sleeping you know , 3 if I go and take maybe an hour looking at each spelling thing ect I will go like crazy re wordeding typing more remember more it wont stop for a while its crazyiss last night or my last big post one of them took me 3 hours I checked from type to send or it was both combied cause I did 2 big posts but still wow and this is probs about same oh and like 4 I am trying to avoud the show give me hug number 4 haha but like numbjerjacks ok 4 is my ‘speical’ number I didnt want to say/type lu ck y just like yeah something about that right here I dont think I am comfortable with espically as I aciddently made point 4 about the show that terrfies me and want to be done with it ahh but yeah 4 is important to me example how I know 4th Doctor 🙂 and other more important personal thing but yeah 5 staying alive who knows got that song in my head now can I stop what is this I dont feel tired my eyes little watry more so the right but think I brushed something near them a moment ago (Bill and Ben Flower Pot Men) I keep thinking tons of childrens shows but yeah Draw with Louie I think it was draw haha wow but my hands not really any tired nothing more so given my index ? 4th toe right foot left to right like numbless but wow it went fast and no pins and needels so yeah happy days it was a crazy one and all started with memory ha 🙂 who knew hahahaha 🙂  01:16

Actually plus re write from deleting first chuncks and nearyl coming up to 3 hours since Melda messaged and I was focused on this and I dont know if I was typing a lot already here when that happend or getting started but now I can realax and say Bonjour something fancy I hope to Melda yay 01:18

Oh and thank you everyone for the support I was soo wowed by that when logging in today and yeah rememebred if not somewhere in what looks like draft 1 of a journal to my wonderful life like a homage to that Steven Hawkins Film I hope I got all that right 🙂 but yeah to life and who knows how much living we can find like surprises and joys 🙂 🙂  🙂 🙂 01:20

Take care everyone stay positive love you all hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

Hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I am soo glad that saved I coudlnt do that again or remember like 80 percent of what was said how how to say it I know main topics but yeah phew I clicked send before I copy and saved it in case it crashed or was too big phew phew phew maybe that’s luck

When I am better I hope and all worries hopefully cool I’ll talk like films ect less like bulky ect back to noraml oh I forogt what happend before why I finallu went I need to say , I have time saved but I was watching screenwriiting advice on Youtube and at some point I just felt like everything caved in like was I fozused was I even here how is time like this I thought it was later but now and other ways ect I typed to myself so I might just send copy another time ha but yeah thats why I started my previous post about mentall illnesses can develop but had to get what happend acrosss on the days leading up to it , I just felt like that famous looking in you know whats real how did we get here months and months have gone and I dont remember nearly anything and even today and other days it was like how did that happen like there was gaps ////  –  //// and time gaps yeah I was like woah have I been soo stressed or the fever too high yesterday that I have done brain damage and like that fauge state but different that writing vidoe I listen to lots from that guy took a break from him for a while but today at that point I wanted to learn make the day important you know and something just caved in I know the simple line of what he was saying others I watch for wriitng advice say the same but he said it soo high level it was like oh dear writing and screenplay is even more impposible he spends 9months just working on characters and like at some point maybe I said this all in previous box but at least in messenger note to myself I felt like things to put simply caved in , is there a god, I’m still alive will I live much longer , whats the point , wow time gone fast, but its not the time I thought it was I literally I cant explain maybe I did to myself but I forgot now hours of typing here but seriously I felt at 21 years old I had a mid life crisis on top of the worst day of my life yesterday and worried even expexcpting me or my Mum or both could die that night , and getting better , now worse again and something in that vidoe me sitting here something snaped and I was like this isnt right I want simple again like I said to myself or Melda yesterday like to look at Molly our doggy 🙂 I keept looking at the christams tree back and frothe couple minutures and like opened my eyes most to see the world like just something smapped and I not physcallu felt gonna die but just something about who I am what is life and concious and the days and weeks and months gone by I cant remember nearly any of it nearly been a year since we moved and I can just remember little times of swimming like a little photo or scene just like 5 seconds or walking with my friend maybe 2 weeks ago that time the day after fruit picking or one of our recent walks but I’ve been unwell hasnt happend for what seems a while but I acutally if I remember was some point this week like 1-th-18th you know like I told him my family is getting unwell and havnt messaged him since so its not even long ago but feels like it was soo long I cant remember just little snipits that I did it and a snipit of the location not even what we talked about I just remember 22:17 he takes his dog with him I even forgot his dog till I thought and typed this memory now like something I am trying get rest and feel good when sleep like today I stayed in bed longer to recover ect but its like my meory is fading since this ilness and my Mum had this after her fall like couldnt remember stuff and even now I notice and she knows

but I’m young no fall maybe too high of fever but I cant check but seriously I notice I am like goldfish memory today when someone says do something even if I knew it maybe cause I am know to often ask a question to a question or check what I have to do in case I forgot but like today my Mum said bring this boxes they are tiny I have literlly forgtten if they were plastic or for washing pegs , christams stuff I have no idea , but I went up the stairs and put them where I thought I knew it was this spot I had to but I was soo confused why would it go there – outside my parents bedroom door on the floor in front of the like atticy door like in Corroline a door on the floor with a lock that film terrifes me and it close to the stairs so could be danerous and I thought did my Mum said in her bedroom like on the floor somewhere in ‘bedroom’ and I was thinking my Mum woudlnt like that or for me to mess this up so I left it there outside the locked door went down the stairs to ask and it was right all along but I had gotten soo confused after “can you put thesee two whatever? it was outside the ‘atticy’ door on the floor” in a space of 30 or less seconds from I’m putting this here as Mother says to compelty getting confused and that used to happen to me like that famous walk in a room and dont know why, that actually happend to me in past and when younger maybe more but of recent years the check you know what to do cause I get stressed like with working at a fish and chip shop the order was soo confusing this then this then this for ages and maganeging ticekts and trying to learn to drive like when I had to reverse park from side on and like far enough away into a spot I was soo confused what is first what is this I couldnt do it the teacher and I asked her many times can we can through it again like I listen but step 1 step 2 stpe 3 extra in proper words and sentences cause I was soo nervous drving and the lady who taught my Brother who is perfect driver and she is mother of school peron I know and married to my favioute P.E. Teacher on top of a manual car that I paracticede like 1 day years before and other time for like 20 minstures trying to get out of a ‘parked’ position and reverse in a graveyeard where I nearly crashed into a stone while at like a junction cause everyone telling me different stuff anf I paniked but that was my ‘practice’ before years later in a car on public roads ect witha proper teacher assaisinng me I constly listen and totall couldn remember what we had to do so I think something in stress like when your like adrialine maybe or something that film thing were they zone out its like that like you listen and nothing sticks so that heppend to my today in a much less stressful situation where I did simply pick up the two boxes and go up the stairs and had forgetten what was right so I dont know if I genruinlly have losing it in my mind for stress reasoons or fever ilness ect but yeah and this vidoe about screenplay mentally I was like in myself like I thought what I’m here why like what happend ect I’m simply on the sofa and nothings changed with the room everything in the world is same as days ago you know the big pricture like where we live ect nieghbour the country but I felt like something was wrong and I used to get that too a lot when a kid maybe sometimes when a bit older like having terrible days like where I split SuperMalt on my new Lego Harry Potter Christmas Top and everyone was furious I think my Brother bought it for me too and that broke my day wosrt Christams what have I done I’m rubbish ect and in day years ago maybe 10 I think things got better but that used to happen a lot I mess up and thing worst day ever I’m rubbish ect and somethimes I feel that now its changed where I dont feel I deserve anything espicallu for Christmas or Birthdatys I can explain more later and yeah so its do I deserve it no I dont feel I do like in SAS tv show sometimes they ask recruitmes are you confident withyourself or someting it was on tv today and bad thing happen to a polition and ruined her caerrer and they asked her about it and its crushed her belive in herself and stress ect soo much so she doesnt have that flight or fight response in her nervers that a stress and terrible things happen to her phsyically affected her nerves so who knows if fever or the stress I have been through or worries and its more than one day in mu life but who knows if recent times

sorry all thank you and I have fever now and hot around my lips I dont wanna go through this all fixing spelling mistakes for this time sorry 22:43

took a break to talk to my brother 22:42

Take care everyone

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I didnt know where to put this so hope its not wrong or tottaly unallowed in the forum as a whole

This week or maybe couple days have been truyl terrible for me (not to complain or such or exgarater I promise)

I dont know if to keep it short or write all what went wrong and I think this is useful the forume for me in various apects but I want to save this in like histry you know like part of my life what happend ect

 

I wanted to ask – is it possible to develop a mental illness – often we hear of depression and am not going agaisnt that but what I mean is – are there other mental things like that of the mind of psyci , like in Doctor Who once was Jacklon Lake (wow my memory was good there) and like the main point of that story he survived such truma his mind went into a Fuge State – I goggled for the spelling and maybe found another form of it not sure fudea state of the mind – Search (bing.com)

But thats what happend in one Doctor Who episode and I dont want to go to much into which episode ect – my asking and I know soo many different people here and ages and knowldges ect I would think its more likly me to win the lotter than find a physcologist here but who knows anything is possible but also help of internt like with that I goggled and disvored just quickly maybe answers are out there 🙂 – you know today I search about tooth repair possible to fix teeth I found this great website all about all the options like medical things and ways that could help clincal trials all very proffisional and good to know about for me so always stuff can learn 🙂

I hope I’m calming down a bit and making more sense honestly not to be like cliche I really dont feel myself feel right

Time is 19:27 ok just wanted this hear its important to me even if I sound silly

I honeslty feel like I’ve had the worst 2 days in my life for different reasons

Teeth Regeneration and Regrowth 2023: Current Research and Future Treatments – Dental Freak

So that link above is for the teeth progresss – I read I think all of the adivce there and research and some of the comments but most comments I dont know if were helpful or misundertandings occured like with what people were saying in the comments on this website – but whole heartly if your worried about teeth stuff maybe something there can help and it slightly put my mind at ease but relazied I still should keep going you know

I know this seems crazy what I am typing in this ‘post’ today but whole heartly I dont know if its like a mental break down or what but I need to ask for help and each stuff I write maybe its not perfect or make total sense but its how I need it right now I think I slowed down – like I can see things more clear and get like normal words and sentences that make sense as maybe can see from the begging to this point having sentences ect structred more normally.

I know this fourm isnt really built for this but just I soo panicked for various reasons I needed to open up.

I didnt want to go to much detail but maybe a background is imporant – this is important undeneath – please focuse on this if you dont want to read all else before

past few days been awful – maybe a week or so I honestly dont know like yes its December but days I feel like I coudlnt tell you when anything happend past a few days ago – either way I got a bit unwell as maybe I said before in other areas and like watching films or such while recovering cause had a cold well I had to take at least 3 rest days to be pretty much alright again

So were on the 18th of Decemeber and about 3 days ago started not sure to be honest I maybe had another cold but I think it was the one from before the 3 day rest one – at some point maybe couple days ago like I dont know I think were on Monday so lets say 14th or such like I think I had a fight with my family on 13th or somthing lot of things going on- so past 3 days maybe the time frame doesnt line up but my parents got really unwell and like being in same sort of area as them each day like eventually I belive the cold got to me ah I think it was second cold – look I went out maybe few weeks ago with my family to help pick fruit and it rained and next day went on really tough physically walk and it rained too and thats when I got unwell or was feeling it I think – at some point not sure if ther’es a date we went to a concert party thing and we stayed soo many hours and I was soo fed up of things (so I was there but maybe had recovred at this point or was getting better) then I went home maybe was unwell days after or such I feel like I forgot all days inbetween but know key things you know

so at some point I was well again – then lets say withing this week (by like days like 5 days ago ect ect) cause I dont know what day we are actually on its all been a blur – my parents got unwell and more and more and I think it spread to me there is my point –

on 16th maybe I had fight ish with my Mother for not resting and pushing herself when she wasnt well – I dont know if it was the 16th but the days feel close to each other and today 18th

She has been very unwell lets just put it at that and went to Hospital for many many hours and this unwell ness like we all have a lets say variity of it like I had cough my Dad to0 , things like fevers dizzy various different symptoms and problems but each different to their own and I dont wanna try and guess how my parents what they felt but for example last night I heared them both coughing hard many times during early morning

so yesterday (17th of December 2023) my Mum went to the hospital from somepoint in Morning with my Dad and our neighbour friend stayed with me most of that begging of that day

it was yesteday I know what happend

I dont remember exact time my family left home to go to that hospital but our Neighbour Derik (I dont know the spelling sorry) stayed at our home 🙂 – he cleaned the diseses ect that area and fridge I think kitchen floor, and I brushed outside pateio kinda of area (in the cold but wanted to help him as a guest couldnt let him do everything and yes I wasnt well but wanted to help) so I wasnt well on the 17th not sure how far back this ilness started or when it got to bad but I knew like I was pushing myslelf but wanted to help him – so I did cleaning like I said sweeping ect and my parents still wernet home so we said in the early morning cause Derk was in our home maybe 10 oclock cause I statyed in bed longer than normal to try and keep well and went downstairs maybe that time or 12 I think I went down and he was there ect ect, we walked down the hill to his house after it being around lunch time and my parents not back , I eat with him not as much as normal cause I coudlnt fit the food in like I was unwell still enough to be ok going there but just wanted to take it easy,

We went back to my house up the hill and that really was soo diffucutl I thought like it nearly killed me, I carried a heavy bag for him till I coudlnt anymore I wanted to keep it but I thought its not worth damaging my health for this (I gave him the bag after the shortcut) and we were movin 2 bags heavy ones he had one and I gave him the other maybe half way to home and even just walking with nothing to carry at that point I was really struggling and he could see I was unwell he told me and quite which he said wasnt like me – I barly felt like I could get home sweating my heartbeat , soo much muscle pain in my legs everything like blood pressure ect – I got home and immidelty sat at the desk chair I just had to sit I couldnt do anymore phycally I was like at the limit- I was at that chair for a while catching my breath ect while he cleanred or cooked I dont know cause I couldnt see cause the house layout but he was in the kitchen – I then moved myself to the sofa (they are quite small here sofa’s) and wrapped myself in blankets and watched tv , at some point maybe he left to go back to his home I think we ate at his house 12 or 2 somthing like that – he didnt stay super long when we got back to mine and maybe 30 mins later I really not sure I was watching films but at 2 or 4 one of them I cant remember my parents came home

My Mum going from a long stay at hospital didnt rest nothing just do more cleaning ect and I was soo stressed ect trying to take over for her health to stop over exagertting and I was clearning ect ect

so I nearly literally thought thats my limit when got home with Derk soo much so I just sat at that green chair in a state till I got enough to move to the sofa like enough recoery lets say – and I was in sofa trying to get well again and watched like 3 or 4 james bond films which I wanted to mention yesterday in the fourme and talk about them but bad things happend after so I wasnt in the right place for that

I’ve noticed somethings chaged or whatever cause I only relaised this times – if I rest I recover quite quick like with the 3 day ilness I think it started before like with the fruit picking and the day after when it kinda started but I didnt get really unwell like fever extra till maybe few day after the event thing we went too health is strange and I dont know all the dates – but if I rest I seem to do well but if I have to do something else like the moment I move from a location or do something like push or clean somrthing it all goes backwards again

I know this is the most jumbled thing on this fourm but its how I am thinking hope you understand trying to recall a week or such of important details when I personally feel even today I have been forgetting things my Mum might say to me after 30 seconds I am really trying to write this all with a to b you know step to step but its hard

Sometimes I used to want when I was young and like child ect and it happend various times in my life that God or someone could just record my life so every day every moment is known I think this yesterday (17th Decemebr 2023)

so anyway I was getting better but my Mum espically in a panic cause nearly Christmas and my Brother is coming to us so its like everrything must be perfect clean this do this ect ect dust , like nothing can be wrong and she woudlnt rest even after visiting Doctors cause of this panic

Nobody even told me till today or last night very late what happend at the Doctor’s cause I didnt go cause probs unwell or such but like what they found or what happend nobody tells me till then and somepoint at least today cause I remember derik being there (in our house) while I found out something about her lung or an ifection its not good my Mum’s lung to put it simply. that I know of now and probs found out some point today

so anyway I was getting better wrapped in blankets watching the james bond films on tv like back to back james bond it was wow 🙂

and then my Mum secretly cleaning behind our backs ect and other things and I at some point she was soo unwell went to rest upstairs she did on again small sofa thought she was sleeping , I went to go back like 30 mins later or maybe 3 just I left it some time  cause I was panic she may check my room cause everything has be perfect for my Brother ect so I went back and she wasnt on the sofa the tv was on – I relaized she was in her bedroom batheroom/toilet area and I waited ( I have a thing about time so I remember this) well I got some sort of tim saved maybe in a note to self kinda of thing – I waited from like 7:37 or 6:37 but in digital time so that is like 18:37 or 19:37 , I waited like 10 mins checking it was like 47 I think it was 37 start I cant remmebrr evrything point is I waited 40 minstures till about 20:10 to check on my Mum who I thought been in batheroom area for long time and with light on there and the tv in the other section I was waiting at where I thought she went to rest so I thought is strange isnt she coming back I went and I barly walked through the door just like 3 seconds and say tons of coat hangers cloths boxes everything on the bed out of my parents wardrobe and I was mad again behind our backs doing extra work when my Mum is not well like she been to the Doctors for hours (this was yesterday and only today 18th) I found out some sort of lung problem but at that time I was Mad I went downstairs to tell my Dad had big big talk with him he was kinda gental actually 🙂 but I was destrute nearly crying, shouthing my throat and voice was nearly gone at the end I couldnt stop telling him how fed up I was about this and many many numerous things that is not right that happens or my Mum does ect and my Dad nobody perfect but this time I was furious at my Mum – my Dad keep telling me sit on the sofa next to him it would have been and I did but got up most times just pure like I couldnt stop soo many things I was furious about dangerous driving events with my Mum ect ect how she never rests and pushes herself and doesnt listen to me or my Dad but only to my older Brother who she is cleaning like mad damageing her health to make everything look nice and perfect for him

my throat was gone at during this talk like I had throat cough ect my parents too they been very unwell coughing in nights ect and it all spread to me but the walk with Derkis to home up the heal nearly killed me and I was very unwell at that moment and had to rest really proeprly for me yes on sofa and can watch tv and example found all james bond films on but I was in blanekts and knew I need to stay here and nothing else

but my Mum is not like that even when I felt she has more health worries and the Doctors had seen her and she got home and do everything clean everythin – I think the day before she was cleaning things again behind our backs and I shouted at one point like was kinda screaming cause when I found out and tried to help she wouldnt stop and rest and let me do it even when I wasnt well – she only stopped for like 30 mins when her niece or such phone and she sat on the bed in the room she was cleaning for 30 mins

but thats what really hurt me phycially yes mentially but like I got soo unwell from the stress and screaming and my blood pressure and trying to do things when I wasnt well to help my Mum

I think yesteday this all happend with the cleaning and still my Mum or maybe this morning made me push these heavy bed side tables in one of the rooms and that I thought my knee it could break and I left this massive wooden bed side tables slightly out from the day before cause I didnt want to hurt myself more and I moved the massive like table wide enough for tv ect I think that alone is like 100 kg I can barly shunt it to move anway it was push the bed side tables (this was yesteday yeah) and these are the ones in the room my Mum was cleaning the bathroom for and somepoint after all this and my Mum cause I snapped and shouted ect and she said I was bad something I dont know but like a disgrace she left and went to kitcehn area where my Dad was cleaning or something at this time and I did the washing on my own of these metal rails scrubbing and wshing sinks and cookers ect and the robot hover did a little clean around the beds which is why we normally move the bed side tables – anywya I did that and I do think my Mum siad I did a good job 🙂 but later I was called for or I found my Mum at the glass room which is like furtherst you can be in the house unless your at this part in our garden but next door house is really close to that so nearly as far as can be in our home and my Mum was doing things and I was called for or found her and tried to help she was about to lift this box and I thought no way I stepped in and to be fair it had maybe chirstmas things in I didnt look – its a box we keept from moving items ect when we moved aborad and now christams stuff is in this partucialr box I asume – and I got the box and it my Mum after asking me to plug in the christmas tree and we did that ect was sweeping in the room when I got there and after the checking of tree ect we were leaving the room like my Mum was going and told me take this box to such and such its a long way, I picked up the box its a cardboard thing like for sending stuff on planes when you move houses so its kinda wide box but honestly for me wasnt that hevay

I was going to go to the steps to walk down the corridor to move this box – even before I got to the step – you know when you go down stairs or steps you start normally at a level then you put one of your feet down to reach that step – yeah before I even could put my foot down (I was holding the box while doing this cause had to move it) I felt soo dizzy remember I hadnt been super well like throat coughes ect even the thing I recoved from maybe weeks before this yesterday I felt the sinus you know in my neck soo painful and swollen most it had been in my life the right side I could feel like if I put my finger there on my neck and under chin that was before like I never knew a throat infection or whatever blocked nose ect to be that bad I was like wow thats bad something wrong I asked my Mum and she said yeah its like sinis throat stuff either way things have been up and down health wise with me my family ect but I recovred from that throat thing but yesterday and recent times I wasnt too well but it wasnt like that exmaple no swollen thraot thing other problems but each is a sign your not well rest you know

I was as I said about to take the step while carrying to not to heavy box in box hands and yes I couldnt really see my feet ahead ext cuse the box is wide enough its like your hugging someone but before you wrap your arms around them its where you move your arms widen them like if you wear hugging a fat person honesntl I dont want to be offensive or mean I just trying to illustrate yes its carrying a card board box but they are big for shipping all your properties we had like 16 of them shipped by plane and that clearned most of the stuff in our previous home they are like moving compay boxes so I am carrying this box so sight ahead of me isnt too great so I was maybe leaing my head slightly left to try and the corridor or looking down to see the steps – but either way the very moment I am not joking the moment I went to take that step

so I am here / box is with me/H lets say a h since its most square thing I could find on a laptop keybaord and step is like this /H flat—— this is the room level glass room all level then get to the step fistrst 1st –

–

–

then we go down like 3 steps and it goes flat a bit then more 3 steps and againe ect

we have a kinda of hotel so long corridors couple rooms ect

so even before I could step I was on the flat part about to aproach the step holing the box with both hands and arms up like straight and in line with maybe my chest where the heart is carrying a big sqaure box basically any item squre and big that you have had to carry with 2 hands imamgine that –

so I was like I said about to approach and moved my foot and leg to take the step were going down this steps instant uneasy and dizzynes and I couldnt even like take that step I felt soo unsafe unstable unwell I knew isntally cause I was doing ok enough where I picked up the box from the sofa and was heading out like my Mum said we would

I was fine enough there nothing felt wrong or worried me I picked up that box and like I say wasnt too heavy I think it was pretty empty maybe with some Christam stuff to about a palms length of depth of items in the box I didnt really take time to look but it felt light enough weight for me but I knew things were inside like ballballs I recoknon and other stuff you can pack for Christams – so I was fine

but the  very moment I went to take that step with the box in my arms instan like something was soo wrong I’m not saying a mintute or a cliche I literally felt I couldnt take that step as soon as I got to it I was going you know to walk down cause we were leaving the room but I got to it and something just hit me I knew and I told myself in my head if I take this step or try to go down these stairs with this box )which wasnt too heavy remember) I willfall – I will fall down these stairs

I stopped myelf I couldnt risk that and went back to sofa and put the box at the top of sofa not where people sit but the top and my Mum was like come on come ect and she went ahead of me and like ‘we leaving the room’ kinda of thing she said somethign about we were going

and I did it I slowrly like I was 80 and like on point of dying I slowly with the box went down slow each step like a minuite or so just bracing and waiting to next step and my Mum was ahead of me so from my view point I can see her and she was brushing – broom in one hand – bucket handel thing in other – brushing each step walking backwards down each step and these are small steps with like a wodden cover at the end this house is like at least 20 years old and yes things well look after most part and we fix a lot since being here from early this year and these particualr stairs most I feel they are strong but I wouldnt purplply step on the wood part so the halway steps are like tiled at the back with a wood cover that slighting overlapps at the end like if I can I will take photos and somehow get this to here so you can all understand the structure and layout better of things but these are small steps and I wouindlt put a lot of weight on the wodden part

My mum walking backwards cleaning like dusting sweeping you know down these stairs while I’m holding the box that I felt I was about to fall down the stairs cause of , she is brushing and her scaf is low really low close to hear feet this scarf thingy kinda sea through thing and she didnt listen I was warning her this is dangeous and your scarf if you trip (if she did) she would fall down backwards onto hard tiled slabs and maybe crack her head 🙁

everything is soo obvious to me the danger the risk but she doesnt liten my advicce and warning

she has medecial issues and mentail health things

and once we were here and she did fall (fowards) down the stairs same kind of 3 stair set up onto the tile slab thing and I thought she was dead , blood , she didnt speak no movment I think I remmebr cause this was very close to my Birthday in June like 5 days away 13th unluky right – I was soo scared I thought I did it and still feel guilty but only tell myself and like I ran down that hill cut my feet cause didnt think in time to put shoes ect lot happend ok and I can detial and maybe in a sad or sick way I do want to cause I dont want forgot this things its too seriious

but thats why yesterday with the box I was soo dizzy and no baister to hold and I had to use both hands to carry this box in front of me I thought I could fall too and I felt if I didnt stop right that second I would so I put the box on sofa ect you know

but I was soo worried if my Mum again would have an accident cause she walking backwards down these sets of 3 staairs and brushing at same time so both her hands are holding something and her scarf soo close to her foot I was soo scared and unwell

She told me where to put the box

I moved down these more stairs soo carefully and slowy maybe hurrying a little cause my Mum was soo cross I was taking time but if I told her I’m not well she will be mad

lots lots happend yestersay the day before and today right now 20:47 well tyrping this dont know how long been writing but I feel something my legs is wrong and my chest a little tight

like the circutalatipn in  legs and my nails aain are purple grey and I am shiveirng I really havnt been well

typing on one of our small sofas maybe should get a blanket and curretnyl sitting like you do on a chair legs ahead and down feet on group but on sofa with laptop on my legs

either way yesterday I was still moving this box these stepts times 3 cayse the corridor and then up the staris slowey and put it away , I was mad or I went to rest cause unwell not sure if I told my Dad anythng at that point , but cleaning and pushing the big heavy wodden bed side tbales I dont think hlped whatso ever and that sudden I could fall stuck me something is wrong and I went to rest on sofa , dont know if this is the time I missed the james bond films cause I watch like 2 or 3 since home with derk after the cathcing my breaht ect on the chair and watched the films in blankets on sofa wth Molly 🙂

So at some point and I remeber it was still bright or day time enough to see when in the glass room

anyway I rest or that neatly did me in something went very wrong and maybe I remvored not sure which order of events but at some point yesterday after I was doing little better well I think it was after the box stuff ect cause I went back to rest and as I say my Mum went upstrais and I found out somehow she was resting there or maybe my Dad said or I heared them talking that she was going to bed or just somwoehrre upstairs to rest maybe she told me and I check on her like that not long after she rest or somehing I dont even know if I found out cause of going upsrairs for somereason but I think my Dad went up or such and thats when I discory

I know you all probs thing Declan Sargent is crazy but I am 100% trying to recall as much as I can from this time these days and I worry even here I am forgetting how things prgogressed even just yesterdy

so back to the events I thought maybe my Mum will check on my Room cause my Brother ect and thats how we got to the story about waitjng 40 mins after soon ish noticing my Mum in her bathroom and went to check on my Mum after wating this time and just like a blink of an eye I didnt enter the room in case you know privacry ect but just to see all these coathangers ect all my Mum’s and Dad’s cloths ect all the stuff that was in their I repeat thier closet on thier bed why whats the need my Brother isnt going to look there or bother about this and my Mum doing extra that really wasnt needed and I stormed down stairs and the big talk with my Dad James bond was still going another one haha but he eventually turned of the tv and I was in a state and we talked a while ect but I think cause that – plus the box , the scrubbing ect the massive walk up with derkin after lunch everything I literally over did somthing in my body in my health

20:58 If only I could higlight key points I have a heart condition and did think once I was dying cause I thought I had a heart attack after being fever ect ect one night in England I couuldnt sleep that night was unwell but staying latying on the sofa back home and my brother and Mum say need rest in bed sleep ect go to bed but I couldnt , when I did at some point in that night I must of slept cause was late something went wrong I thought my pluse had stopped ect I wet the bed evvetything something was soo wrong I was soo scred I was going to die I screamed like and when my Mum got to my room I dont know if I called them from thier room but my Dad and Brother were still sleeping and my Mum had to get my Dad later but that night I was driven to hospital stayed there for weeks or something was chesat infeftion which I always used to get but for me I felt on that day something was much worse like not to be valgue but my gentlemen area it all emptited I thought at hopstial someone should check and I dont like show any of that areas to anybody but it like everything leaked out on my bed and when at hostpial they made me drink fluided and that fixed and I said to Doctor cause I did tell them cause I was soo scared if I lose it I cant have fmaily and thats most thing I want in life

but I still stayed hopstial for weeeks and this was couple years ago that time I know wrote tons so may have to break the big events into parts to help you all know the timeline but I missed my school resutls day I missed soo much the new people ect I joined six form late case I was in hospital and I have photos of like blood neddedles in me ect ect

so I thought I was dead that day

last night 18/12/2023 I thought same thing but in a different way

my Broither is here now with some friends of his very nerous 21:04 but got to keep writitng this

back to that night yesterday after I was furuous and calmed down with my dayd I went back to sofa with blanekt and revover but my Mum not well my Dad is the best out of all of us right now health wise but we all vbeen sick in various ways

said helo to the new peolple but keep my distance even now felt dizzy when walking to them and curretly 21@06 sitting back on sofa my head is spinning I’m shaking cold my nails purple blue

but anway last night 17th honeslt felt like the worst day of my life

after the fight and or cleaning or walking up the hill with heavy bag ect contasnt like punches to my health and I know I should rest I did the other time stayed pretty much in blakcets on the sofa that other time and got perfectly fine in like 3 days but this is way worse and I havnt been able to keep resting constatly and my Mum espically cause I trying to help clean what she was or she says move that or stress mentally all has like blown up my health

anywya last night I went back after the talk with my dad which I think last an hour or something me nearly in tears my voice gone throat gone

I went back to the green desk chair and had my laptop cause I was desperate and soo scared – before I was on my lets say blanket sofa and ilness sympotms have various things like sweating ect one point I coughed (all my family has had this cough) and then I coudlnt breath like something was stuck in my throat and it stopped but next thing my Mum like 30 seconds after that same kind of cough so I was worried all our health at that very moment of one of the worst days I thought we could die me and my mum espically

I went in a panic upstairs collecting things trying to get notes to write stuff ect I got the blood pressure machine anything I could find and was panic inmyself that I could have brain damage cause having high fever too long is bad but I couldnt find any themotror so I dont know if physcal damage has occorused with like braine ect though recent even like today I have found remebering things diffictult like with the 30 seconds later as I said before

but that night I went down the stairs as quick as I could eventually cause I couldnt figure it out my Mum put the blood pressyre thing on me and said it was normal and maybe I was little calmer happiend I am not gonna have a stroke or anything casue at various points these days my head was bangging or dizzy

so I called Melda that nice Turkish lady I mentioned – I texted her tones cause I was soo scared this was my last day I could die and told her all worries ect and can you help me chedck my condtions cause I coudlnt get phone space for photos or such and this was the day I even told her many times I cant forgot its important for my Doctors to know this and for me

and I told her things to write and wrote stuff myself cause was diffucitult and I did scare her and she is new ish friend but she was the only one I could trust and tell cause my other friend may laugh or not take serious or panick and tell me off like alwats about letting my family control my life and he has been partying a lot with my other friend so I neded seruious this is how I am need to know

I texted a lot and can send the text maybe I should ask her permsion but to understand th genuine fear I literally exprcted me or my mum or both to die that night

we did a lot of my nails blue , how I look ect ect

that was honeslty the worst day of my life and I thought at like 10 ocolock night time which is early for me I should sleep I should go bed I need to I want to but I stayed because maybe I was feeling better yes I upset her and scared her which is why today 18th we talk a little this morning but I waiting for her message dont want to bother her and now 21:18 for past couple mins I’ve been getting even worse so I dont want to scare her more

but i stayed up and then I think my friend the party one called and I wanted go bed I knew my health and went bit on call with him from desk to that sofa wih blankets but didnt wnna say I’m not well but I let my laptop drain most of the battery and I felt guilty so I said I’m going to bed and we said goodnight all happy 🙂

cold bed maybe but eventually was fine and Molly kept bumping up to me 🙂 so thats sweet 🙂

but hoenstly I thought I am going to die that night nearly 6 months after my birthday – week or so before Christmas and after all ups and down just wanting to get to the year 2024 for reasons thought I wont make it I wont have a family thats it

today again I got little bed resting on sofa recoer ect but panic station had to follow my mum or clean ect

even now 21:25 I’m back but had to go up stiars to my room for moothwash for my brother everythig is wrong everyone can see I’m unwell I was shaking , deep purple nails , dizzy my legs feel like compressed maybe I do need a hospital

but yeah I talked tons and call with Melda who wasnt well either and I felt sorry but I was soo panick and felt my Ilness extrememe I had to go through the check me out write it down stuff with her but she was soo heartbroken and like I felt oh no I can talk different topic but just was terrifed I could die and I think we ended night half ok like I saw her rest I sent little nice message and photo cause I do care for her and she was happy when saw it her time 🙂

but yeah that was that night and now is like I dont feel like everything crushing in like chest wise heart wise but just full body parts like joints hands ect like more surface level

If I can I want to take pictures again cause never been this sick and need to know for furture and the doctors

but yesterday for example I found stay in one place helped me and when I move it starts the really strong problems again like dizzy ect but when typing this for agaes apart from the times I moved cause the guests arrive or my Mum says get your Brother mouthwash I was on this chair and its like being on a plane for me I’m meant to move on planes cause blood ect heart stuff

but sitting or laying in once place for a while like yesterday helped me reover but maybe this position of legs tucked like when you sit on a chair I mean – knees straight legs under ect is like not helped the blood circitlation in my legs cause they felt tight and when had to move for my Brother ect shaking and still tight so I dont know what to do

normally I always found like with revision at school it backfired when I rested when unwell I would feel dyhrytred worse sick , dizzy ect or even if I sleep druing the day so I sleep late but these past days yes I dont sleep sleep during day but take it easy not to much walking pushing you know just helping if I can but mostly on the sofa ect but now I worry sitting like this too is a problem like what and what do I do sitting nearly still on sofa while typing yes I am not using blankets at moment cause didnt want to heat up too much like yesterday night I thought I was too hot and fever and brain damage but just sitting and typing maybe its been too long an hour or whatever typing this but soo important for me

my nails are going back to normal ish colour so like I say if I stop gernally I recover (as of recent like past times like with the fruit picking and rain ect and even with the worse day of my life) I relazied stop and rest is working for me this time , yes I dont have internt or tv in my bedroom so I’m mosty down here in fireplace room where tv is but I wrapped up on little sofa and rest its all a part of rest doesnt matter the location

but I guess this is too long

I think everyday is soo precioius I see it all the time cause my heart condition ect but yesterday was such a wake up call I told Melda make your life do what you want be proud of it you know (in longer sentences and words talking cause really wanted her to relaised)

every day previous and I could have died and I thought I would so I am trying do something important each day now and get back to healthy when ready like walks ect but not now and my Brother here he can help look after my parents and I can get the rest time not straiend activity I need

today I found that denist thing and learned well listend to some Portuguese words so thats something I’ve done today I found thats meaningful yes I can do more today espically with learning but maybe this is the best of today I know its a lot and sad and topics or words nobody likes and very my story but its imporant I belive and I am still very very pooryl everyone saw , walking for little time it all came back shakes cold ect , I even felt little pain in my tummy and cause writing all this I want to get this done before lose it I said I’m not hungrt (they give me tiny tiny amount lasana) and I think thats ok cause actually my tummy did have a feeling so I shouldnt push myself its like listen to your body

thank you for listen I know tons of spelling errors – tangents, ect ect my finger hurts my hands and fingers are cold espically the one that hurts cause its my typing finger , I should eat and wrap up or do something impornt like write more my story or just curl up but honeslty this is like the iceberg of smyptoms most in our village they say been getting a bug but me I have a weaker immune sysmtem honest not tyying to say I’m specail but seriously yesterday not from car crash not from heart attack pain I had couples years back but what is in genrall sweatng , dizzy , flu ect we all know flu but to extreme and I dont know how my Mum’s long got a problem but seriously anything can happen and I tell my friend that party guy Marco his parents smoke soo many years and my Brothers friend but I think he is doing better but I was in town last week or whatever and saw this fat guy at the coffe table very tummy fat like beer belly, hair kinda grey at sides merging into black I think he was smoking , I think had coffee and he was coughin out loug cough cugh soo strong like I thought and I was healtyh then none of this wake up call but my heart condition I see life as precions and people who ruin thier bodyies and heath I really cant stand when I’m trying with what I have and I didnt damage myself on purpose and if i could get perfect health thats like all I want too cause can spend time with my family peace of mind ect I was soo deppressed before when I thought at 15 I could die thats it thats my like shelf life I was in school councling for various reasons and I cried in the really kind head maste’rs desk cause I was soo scared my life is gonna end and maybe year later or maybe in that year I think actually same year I had bang that feeling I’m dead get me to hospital ect and I was there for weeks as I said

so I felt this was different but like a Wolverine draining of my health not a sudden impact like a heart attack but just all body going wrong and thats how I saw my Mum too last night and was soo scared and sure we could both die that night

so people I wish they knew these things or had a little step in my shoes and walked out because you dont appreciate what you have till its gone and it can go sudden or a drain like domino effect you cant stop like that film Click which terrifes me

so please I know tangents and not right place maybe but if I seriously get more sick or worse die or someone in my family please all of you who ever see this and spread it around if you want please carry on life your best lives like a lot on X Facors which is on tv each night lot of people had difficult and pushed through it or just aimed and got to thier dreams we are not all super aweomse and lucky to have these expirences from day 1 to wow my dream is complete but keep going in your life make the most of it have lot of days you can remember not evryone is saint and can do that even me maybe wont make everyone day count but after 2 time I felt I could die and once nearly drowing with my Brother please evrryone enjoy your lives and life them and look after your health its the most imporant thing you have that enables you if its good to enjoy the things you like , reach your plans and spend time with loved ones 🙂

Look after your health and others you know make sure they relaise how lucky they are

I am gonna eat now my right hand fingers feel compelty frozen but I will try make it through another night thats all I can do you know till I am better cause its like a sea saw any movement or something simple like washing makes it my health go down so I am going to be careful if I can please be happy in your lifes make them more happy things arent good but you can work to fix it give it a try 🙂 and Good Luck

We can be lucky, like my Mum she fractured bones in her face when she feel down the steps and I could have drowned or if had a poor family could have died from my heart condition not being look after , luck maybe who knows can it exist but dont push it stay as healthy as you can lucky is good but not lucky lucky lucklu 3 espically if same poblem simple example bad driver crashing on 2 different days I hope they either learn or dont drive you know cant keep pushing luck simple example

Hugs to you all this is probs the only time I write something like this unless we all get serviouslly worse or something bad ect I even wanted the other day just little bit about how I enjoyed the James Bond films but things happen and right now this is far far more importnat

Wolverine is my fav cause of healing – cause I hope in future I can get that chance to heal my heart and live longer with my own family and hope others can become healthy too if they find a way for that but right now like with the denist thing there’s possible solotuions on the way but some could take 10 years for clinical trials so at moment look after teeth too and health cause dont rely on a cruthc that doesnt exist yet that fixes all have the most health you can so you can overcome the bumps in the road and live long happy life long enough to where they fix all cancers or wehere they find healing ect things are coming in health advancments rapidly but keep healthy as you can like with the teeth thing I learned how hard and time consuming it would take to grow like 2pm like mm or such of dentine imagme needed to fix your whole teeht and I’m terrtible at this and new future things on the way would desints allow it though and had a big talk with a densist friend months ago but now I see its not soo simple even if scientists are working on it and denstis actually approve so keep healthy for as long as can the less you have to fix or the doctors for you or the less servirver the operation cause you had good health the easier for them the quicker you reocvver its all rainbows if you dont like statrt with a broken car like Kurkaustz demenstrien in a vidoe , keep storng healthy sun cream hope my Brother can tell my Dad use suncream he always in sun my cousuins’ girlfiend who is nurse told him its not about the peeling and evither way he didnt listen and hafl face looks like pastry you know near the eye and our neighbour friend who I helped today apprentyl he is around same age and I was stunned he looks 30 all dark hair healthy good

age gentics all can play roles but one person being 50 doesnt mean same health as other 50 , our actions ect can rapidly age us or slow or steady so people who are like I’m 70 and old no point keep going and help your health any little way you cn age shpouldnt be an exciuse like I have bad this I am done – I know things happend and its harder as older you get but my point is nobody who sees me would think he could die he has heart problem cause I am young and look it but doesnt mean I am invicnible or got years and years in the tank or who knows inside things can happen to people 40 years aold even babies with cancer its not the number its the health and yes not all can be controlled yes but do the best you can to look after in and out 🙂 22:04

Take care everyone please please love you all hugs and good health 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 21:52

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I am been like darting around the obvious topics cause I cant access the new episodes currently so I talk more about story stuff films ect outside things

Had bit of rocky times (though Rocky the boxer is cool haha) and like today stuff goes on and kinda empty so watched some marvel film stuff , Last Of Us analysis in Morning , tons of Star Wars like practically 2 hours on the pod racers alone haha all the tech ect soo cool but yeah its like a roller coaster up and down and I re freshed the page here after hours of Star Wars and a small super speed vidoe I didnt like and was soo happy my fav episode was talked about and like something I could join in on and then my friend was talking about Labyritnth which I mentioned to my other friend this morning while sending gifs and telling of things I like such as Wolverine , Jennifier Connely , Star Wars ect which is the reason I gave in and watched all the pod race stuff I could find to  begin with haha which took me to a big stars wars rabbit hole and yes they even have crab like spiders in the lore soo cool 🙂

Anyway I dont know I just ramble and tell about my day maybe wasn’t my first intention , I just like when nervous I write a lot and fast or when feeling energized like when seeing the new posts from our lovely new member Welcome and my friend watching Labyrinth which was such a cool conicdence 🙂

Currently listening to – Sweet Female Attitude – Flowers 🙂 (on loop) maybe found this song yesterday but I knew it long time ago just forgot what it was but soo sweet 🙂 and happy to find 🙂

yeah I had my new X Men document open for the whole day haha closed it recently but maybe I’ll work on it again when better days 🙂 today was wobbly for many reasons and empty and I didnt know what to do even at the Morning as I told my friend and it seems like all of them now are sleeping or partying in discos haha so yeah wobbly day filled with Star Wars and super hero game stuff all stuff haha 🙂

I really did forgot the point of what I wanted to say but sometimes that’s best to be free and I think fast type fast and I dont wanna be like slowed right now to think carefully of a point , maybe on wobbly days this is natural and best for me 🙂

I talked to another friend and like got the star wars topic out there and was soo over joyed they knew about it and wanted to talk about it I pretty much told them my whole day of what Star Wars things I had learned about Podracing the racers involved the technogly of plane engines ect I went too fast as usual and now feel stupid and sitting in the dark cause Moths not wanting to sleep but no idea what to do so I broke my I’m gonna wait till I have a better day and seem normal to our new member which I planned for tommorow but you know I think I need this not to be selfish but just sitting here nobody around nearly crying out of desperation to conncet with someone this is a best start even if I do look stupid or worse I guess silly for talking soo much cause nobody likes people who talk soo much but thats me thats what school did to me and thats how my brain works now and I have had 2 nights I think maybe 3 well previous to last night technically turned into a nightmare about my lost love again which ruined my whole day as I told my friend I woke up sad and in like mental pain and today (which was yesterday cause time) just trouble with family and everyone’s been really sick for few days I recovered maybe last week of 3 days of unwell but like yeah just not going totally well here in addition to emptiness of not knowing what to do on a religious day my day kinda collapsed from the start till I gave in and watched Star Wars stuff after hours of sitting at desk not knowing what to do today oh and last of us first cause thought analysis maybe makes a purpose to the day and now star wars makes me happy short term but sad long term thinking of fall of Anakin and stories like that

I’ve been playing Magic Gathering again of recent had 4 matches lost all cause like 4 year old deck and bit rusty testing it and last guy on turn 5 out of nowhere hit me for 200 million damage which is insane for magic had been spending the days since that brief time working on my deck 300 , 500 , 800 cards ect testing all options but cant play a match till save a deck and it wont left me save more than 250 and I have to reduce to 60 to have a match which I am finding nearly impossible spent hours hours of days in a row like 3 days trying on a freezing laptop and even last night just spent 3 or 4 hours writing in word 1 – 1200 and others numbers and writing each card I have just to understand what I want out of my strategy haha but I really looking forward to it have soo many good ideas when ready for match and been trying to convince my friend to play with me but so far we got to download then he said he didn’t like it but I just want at least 1 match with him so maybe I’ll keep trying if that’s not selfish

Ooo and watched lot of marvel stuff too some new films ect on the way 🙂

So yeah this is giant and kinda a big sum up of days to week or so writing, videos , analysis , double nightmares about school as usual is the only kinda of nightmare I have, music nice , missing friends, feeling guilty cause I’m a ramble machine, trouble with family so I probs don’t deserve anything for Christmas even more so and some writing advice videos again and I kinda wanna get back to that in next few days perhaps 🙂

hehe little Moth on the screen maybe he is reading my words that would be cute 🙂 02:07 (this was most recent part) 🙂

May the Force be with you haha 🙂

Thanks everyone 🙂

Take care stay positive hugs 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

Happy Birthday to Waris Hussein 🙂 I hope he had a lovely day full of joy and wonder with friends and family 🙂

I remember hearing about his work on Who maybe from a documentary video 🙂 thank you @scaryb for sharing this with us 🙂 thank you Waris here’s to happy times and good health 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I know this isnt the book section ( I was thinking talking of books would be eaiser) but any topic anything I dont mind

I just want to talk cause I feel like giving up and crying at home

Hope to hear from someone but enjoy your day if your busy or such 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I was going to write in the T.V. section I belief haha funny my memory going cause I wrote the second paragraph first to rush out whats in my head 🙂 but I was trying to thing of a song after feeling nostalgic with a friend and I only could remember the like chorus tune a bit then going through the little sound/tune I remember I started to remember some words – there is love, – burning to find you , and then it clicked I typed into Youtube and yes wasn’t the song name but I got it 🙂 funny how memory works to build from a hint of the chorus tune to the words in that chorus to get the song 🙂

Killswitch Engage – My Curse

(21632) Killswitch Engage – My Curse – YouTube

Maybe its a me thing like one of my skills but I’ve always been good at remembering songs and like in quizzes we used to go to I am really strong with knowing the songs fast like in first 5 seconds probs less I know countless songs it would be hard to trip me up 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

Listening to Blue (Da Ba Dee) for this cause aliens haha 🙂

I’ve been feeling more and more unwell these past few days and my neck is worse so just watching Youtube drawing creativity techniques some really cool stuff today especially about drawing giant skellies which I have in my book 🙂

Was going through the channels and found again this film I really enjoyed but caught like last 15 mins before and no idea what it was called but now I’ve got it and it was soo sweet 🙂 I was like wow this is some sweet future tech ideas great CGI and monsters plus funny and it just was soo sweet as it carried on like Star Wars but more freeing like creativity and colours soo sweet the alien and ships designs amazing and I love the cast especially the 2 protagonists so very enjoyable to watch while curled up 🙂

I’ve seen Enders Game last Month or so, both share ideas but Enders is like like brain teasing and questioning and this one is pure fun in some many areas 🙂

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets 2017 – Bing images

I forgot if I have to link the image so just in case 🙂

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Oochillyo @replies]

hey everyone 🙂 how are you all 🙂

I had a headache from start to say middle of the day , yesterday hours picking fruits in the rain maybe it had an effect on me today which I thought isn’t scientifically grounded haha who knows 🙂

So been to shops a little , been on walk and got back to writing something little by little each day 🙂 and thought I should read books that fit my genre so I search online and there was lot of free options 🙂 though most books in my genre on this site was about people who can be wolves (not werewolves) and have pack life’s ect haha 🙂 I was shocked how many books about women transforming into Wolves there are 🙂

So I stuck to it – got to the start of the 8th page on a book about Dragons and women who has to meet the Queen and all this royal stuff is put on her duties ect , very confusing at times and I felt my writing maybe better just with like how words are used (trying to learn to be more active vs passive) and like types of words but everyone says great review and I just got tired before the Dragon part so well have to keep going 🙂

Second was about this woman who’s Uncle I think is super rich , he collects lot of artifacts and she is in this job she doesn’t really enjoy but little things keep her going through the day about like how I feel at times 🙂

Its got to do with like spectral ghostly things connected to these bones from a dig but I haven’t got to the cool bone part yet haha again little tired of reading through.

I really am interested in bones in addition to crabs and the book cover was sweet bit purply and skull on like a box so I hope the writer is interested in bones too to a cool degree although I understand it has like ghostly stuff about it

The Website is called BookRix 🙂 and I just searched free scifi books and you should find it near the bottom.

Dragon Dreamer is on the 5th page (slider) of Science Fiction section which also has My Protector on that page which I am interested in check out a wolf like story just not a million haha 🙂 and I like the book cover and name of it 🙂

Inverse too I might check 🙂 and Abort Abort Abort 🙂

Attack of the Giant Chickens haha 🙂 sounds good haha

I cant seem to find the other book – Box of Bones currently but there’s tons to check out if you like to read online sometimes 🙂 I seem to do better online reading than physical book and there lots of variety short stories to full books I would assume 🙂 and yes 50 wolf stories haha but a whole range and some classic stuff like from natural world, Pokemon , Power Rangers,  Frankenstein ect so give it a go 🙂

Online Library – Read Free Books & Download eBooks (bookrix.com)

I had a good laugh with my best buddie about story ideas , fantasy , dragons ect craziness for our stories and I know this is book section but I didn’t want to intrude this in the Sofa or Winchester currently due to important things there like the great talk about the Charity 🙂

It was good to go through this site, yes tones of wolf stories but nice to see writers who kept going and from the dawn ground up to sharing a story and the reviews like a little community 🙂

Dragon Dreamer by S. G. Ricketts and Box of Bones by Kat Thomas 🙂

I’ve wanted talk about this too and I forgot cause I ramble haha – I’ve spent yesterday and maybe others researching Crabs ect like I’ve said but today woah even with a headache I’ve just done a digesting day haha searched these free books to learn 🙂 watch soo much Youtube today about character design , sympathy for the monster , the history of the big head alien , speculative evolution , fitting creature into the environment , stuff about lord of the rings , maybe was 30 mins I forgot about Dune vs Star Wars whats better and soo in-depth the language of what he was talking about and the future of humans and old history, I don’t know how much I’ve learned today cause I deleted some videos cause I felt embarrassed to watch them like this guy drawing this scary art for like an hour like stuff with skin missing , his advice about teeth just wow though most stuff for techniques I didn’t like what he said and others say the opposite of him but some good ideas to think about in there , this female Youtuber who draws these actually too creepy its terrifying art , lot of stuff today art, lore of cultures, society , the abstract and philosophical and a little about giant crabs in films haha 🙂 King Kong and Zilla too plus the classics like Frankenstein 🙂 ooo and stuff about femininity in story about this cool film and this recent tv show I guess in simple to learn be who you are and help others , maybe your not strong but that shouldn’t stop you doing good and looking after people if you can and want to  don’t underestimate yourself 🙂  , gruesome design just crazy and its all like dinner to eat and absorb for the good of the book or story for it too grow 🙂

So go out have a day well maybe not as long but if you wanna write do it and take all inspiration you like and this is the book section that website is good , good to read to learn 🙂

Thank you 🙂

Take care everyone stay positive hugs 🙂

Regards – Declan Sargent

[Author]

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