On The Sofa (3)

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This topic contains 963 replies, has 78 voices, and was last updated by  Craig 10 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #19543
    chickenelly @chickenelly

    Just read the sad news about @htpbdet, my heartfelt condolences to his family and mini HTPBDET(s).  Although I’ve temporarily reverted to a lurker again, I always enjoyed reading @htpbdet ‘s posts which were so beautifully crafted and thought out.

    #19544
    TardisBlue @tardisblue

    @htpbdet, family and friends.

    damn.

    now I’m really crying.

    read the tributes.

    still need to collect myself before posting something more cogent.

    I am SO, SO, SO glad he got to see his son and the McGann boy married. How achingly bittersweet. How much I wish I had been able to do something to make their wedding day one of celebration rather than love and sorrow.

    gotta go and find me a tissue. or ten.

    TardisBlue

    and a PS of sorts. with hope of giving more comfort to those who knew him IRL and who miss him.

    HTPBDET and I shared a great love of music. I found the Lux Aeterna by contemporary American choral composer Morten Lauridsen to be of great comfort when my mother passed away. I sent a CD to my cousin, who’s not generally fond of choral music, when she lost her brother, and it comforted her. Lauridsen wrote Lux Aeterna during his mother’s final illness. And it is transcendent. More mystical and ethereal than Mozart’s requium, as suits its theme of light as hope and reassurance.

    If it’d be of any comfort, I could arrange to get a copy to Shazzbot to forward to her HTPBDET contact(s). Contact her and she’ll contact me. FYI, the piece is available on a 1998 Grammy-nominated RCM recording: Lux Aeterna, Los Angeles Master Chorale, Paul Salamunovich, (Orchestral Version), RCM. And it’s also available on a 2005 Hyperion Records recording (also Grammy-nominated) by Polyphony and the Britten Sinfonia, Stephen Layton, conductor.

    Meanwhile, if there’s any music special to HTPBDET, let me know and I’ll gladly play it in tribute to and memory of our dear, dear friend.

    TB

    #19546
    Whisht @whisht

    @htpbdet, my thoughts and condolences are for you and your family.

    Your writing here showed the enormous tenderness and love you have for your family. That love doesn’t die.
    Their love for you is shown in how they reached out to friends of yours they (and you) would never meet; it was shown in changing wedding plans so you could all be together. I am so glad you were.

    The fact this community happens to have a shared interest in a TV show is basically irrelevant. We’re friends because we share ideas, memories, jokes and time with each other. We respect each other – you exemplified this, while passionately holding your opinion.

    I’m probably not the only one here who thinks they are better off having read your thoughts, your memories, and got a glimpse of the deep love you have for your loved ones.

    I’ll take a look at the stars tonight, and hopefully my tears won’t make them too blurry.

    #19548

    @htpbdet

    Well. Blimey. Somethings just aren’t right, and @htpbdet not being around for the Big Five-Oh is surely at the top of that list.

    I very often disagreed with Geoffrey (as one or two of us good-naturedly dubbed him, back in the Guardian days – I can’t remember who coined it) but you never doubted the presence of a true fan – not a Hard Core Fan, not an Uber-Fan or any of those other ridiculous epithets that gets thrown around: a true fan. No capitals, no adornments,

    I had a suspicion something was more amiss than was being let on, both from his own posts – among his absences – and those of his nephew, so I find myself – in the words of the old cliché – shocked but, perhaps, not as surprised as I might be.

    By coincidence I just watched Human Nature/ Family of Blood and, as it always does, the closing scene made me unspool a little bit.

    I’m sure that’s it. I’m sure that’s why I seem to have something in my eye.

    If you pass this way, nephew, it would be a delight to put a real name to the stubborn, perfectionist, discursive , thoughtful and deeply, deeply romantic enigma that was @htpbdet, so that a proper toast can be raised.

    #19549
    Anonymous @

    @htpbdet

    @ mini-HTPBDET(s) – I hope your Uncle’s funeral was more of a celebration of his life and not so much a mourning at his passing.  I can’t even imagine your own sadness and loss.  You have the rest of your family around you and I dearly hope that’s some comfort to you in the next days and weeks.

    I also hope you’ve been reading the reams of goodwill here on this forum about your Uncle.  He was loved by many people, and it’s not important that none of us actually met him in person.  We all feel the same enormous hole in our hearts that he is no longer with us.  And we all know how very much he loved you, and depended on you.

    @pedant brings up an interesting point, but it might be too early for you to think about it.  Please promise me that you’ll not dismiss it out of hand, though.  We here on the Doctor Who Forum are arranging a get-together in a pub on Friday night, November 22nd.  If you and/or any of your family are in London that evening, we would be highly honoured to meet you and raise a glass with you in your Uncle’s honour.  Please PM me for more details, when you’re ready to think about that.

    #19550
    ScaryB @scaryb

    Thanks everyone for beautiful thoughts, expressed much more eloquently than I can. @whisht I found your thoughts about this forum very moving, thank you. Not sure about being able to reconstruct him from the space @htpbdet left behind, but if you can, why not go out and look at the stars, and look for a distant crazy blue box.

     

    #19551
    Anonymous @

    Hello everybody, it’s me again I recently got $50 and bought River Song’s Sonic Screwdriver to go along with my 10th Doctor’s Sonic Screwdriver. I also bought The Nightmare in Silver and The Name of The Doctor so I’m happy to say I (finally) finished Season 7 and am ready for The 50th Anniversary. However I also ordered Logopolis, watched The Caves of Androzani, and about a month ago ordered and watched The Doctor Who Movie, but I was thinking to myself which classic episode should I buy now. I really like the idea of  The Tenth Planet, The War Games, The Time and The Rani, The Five Doctors, An Unearthly Child but was abit iffy on The Planet of The Spiders. What do you guys think.

    PS I’m very sorry to hear about @htpbdet.

    #19552
    Craig @craig
    Emperor

    @drtennant Hmmmm. Skating and thin ice come to mind. If you even try to start an argument tonight you will be deleted.

    #19553
    Bluesqueakpip @bluesqueakpip

    @drtennant – The War Games.

    #19554
    Anonymous @

    @craig I wasn’t trying to start a fight I was just wondering which episode you guys would recomend I watch first based on your experiences with the episodes.

    #19558
    Craig @craig
    Emperor

    @drtennant I’ll let it go, but given the circumstances and your past posting history I think you’re being a little bit glib.

    But if you want a recommendation, I like The Ark in Space.

    #19560
    Anonymous @

    @danmartinuk – thank you for your posts, and you’re completely correct – we have indeed built a wonderful community here, off the back of your Guardian blog series.  Glad to hear you’re planning on raising a glass with us on Fri 22nd Nov.

    Thank you also for the links to @htpbdet‘s G posting history.  There might be things to include in our book for his family in there.

    #19561
    Anonymous @

    @danmartinuk

    And presuming I am allowed, will be sure to honour him as best I can in this week’s installment of the classic series rundown.

    Oh, that would be extraordinary if you could do that.  Thank you in advance.

    #19563
    Anonymous @

    @craig, OH THE ARK IN SPACE! I truly love that episode it’s actually my favorite classic episode that I have the chance to watch and come to think of it that episode was the original one I watched, However if my memory is correct it was the first ever Doctor Who episode I watched. Thanks for that littlw reminder: actaully I might rewatch that episode tomorrow.

    #19564
    DanMartinUK @danmartinuk

    A pleasure and always a pleasure @Shazzbot

     

    has any of this shown up yet? x

    #19565
    Anonymous @

    @danmartinuk – sorry for the inadvertant spamming of your comments (@Craig – as per my feedback elsewhere) but your previous thoughts are now as free as River Song dancing out of the Stormcage … 😀

    http://www.thedoctorwhoforum.com/forums/topic/on-the-sofa-3/page/7/#post-19534

    http://www.thedoctorwhoforum.com/forums/topic/on-the-sofa-3/page/7/#post-19538

    And again, if you could honour @htpbdet in your Guardian blog that would be immensely immense.  Have a look at his The Doctors series of blogs to remind yourself what an enormous fan he was [I just deflated, on having to use the past tense] of Doctor Who.

    #19568
    janetteB @janetteb

    I feel as though I have just lost a friend. @htpbdet became, through his comments and beautifully written blogs so much an integral part of this community and I think he touched all who “knew” in this virtual community. During his illness I have looked for his name every time I check in, hoping that he will have returned, recovered at last and sharing his always interesting views. From reading his posts it was clear that he was a very remarkable man and sad though this is for his family they have been fortunate to have had a father and uncle who loved them so much. I am glad he was able to be there when his son married. I hope that the nephews are able to keep a transcript of the blogs he posted here because he lives on through that writing.

    I would like to join in that toast to him on the 23rd, albiet from a distance and I maybe delayed for a few hours.

    My condolences to all the @htpbdet family.

    Regards

    Janette

    #19569
    Nick @nick

    @htpbdet

    My condolences to your family and friends. I am very saddened to hear this news this morning. Others here have expressed the impact of his writing and debating here better than I can, so I will say no more than I will miss him.

    Nick

    #19570
    ScaryB @scaryb

    😥

    #19571
    WhoHar @whohar

    I’m a piping hot mess. Apart from that, I got nothing.

    #19573
    Anonymous @

    I’m still crying about @htpbdet‘s death.  And I know he would be disappointed with me about that.  (which is a bit of a closed loop as far as emotions go …)

    I’ve had word after his funeral yesterday.  Apparently, all the wonderful tributes everyone posted here on this thread were read out at his wake last night, and his family were humbled and overjoyed that so many people knew and cared about him as much as we here on this forum did.

    Quote:

    “Don’t be sad – he would not want that. He often said that he had had enough sadness for ten thousand people, it was time for happiness only. And then reached for a Gin Martini, saying ‘Oh, my Giddy Aunt.’ ”

    Now, THERE’s a thought – HTPBDET saying ‘Oh, my Giddy Aunt’.  I think I’m smiling again.  🙂

    I’ve had a request from Chief Nephew to re-locate the tributes from this On The Sofa thread to the blog I wrote yesterday, so everything is in one place.  I’ll try to do this today, so this is warning that you might find duplicate comments in your profiles.  On the other hand, if it’s too much of a faff, I won’t.

    #19576
    WhoHar @whohar

    @shazzbot

    That is inspiring and humbling all at the same time.

    Move the posts by all means (see also my suggestion about the posts on your blog)

    #19577
    WhoHar @whohar

    @Shazzbot

    Thanks for sharing that.

    I doubt very much that he’d be disappointed in you.

    Bloody Americans……. 🙂

    #19580
    ScaryB @scaryb

    @Shazzbot

    Thanks for keeping us posted, and glad this Forum, which seemed to be a special place for @htpbdet, was able (in its wibbly wobbly way) to contribute to his wake. (Would have preferred if it had been at any other occasion tho).

    Re @pedant‘s comment

    it would be a delight to put a real name to the stubborn, perfectionist, discursive , thoughtful and deeply, deeply romantic enigma that was @htpbdet, so that a proper toast can be raised.

    It would, but I think that’s completely up to his family. But it’s worth remembering that for us – and ONLY us – he was determinedly the extremely unpronouncable HTPBDET (paraphrasing –  it’s the names that we choose for ourselves that are important, not the ones we are given)

    Oh my giddy aunt indeed 🙂

    PS @whohar you made me laugh

     

    #19581
    Anonymous @

    @scaryb – I always said in my head ‘Haitch-tup-bid-i-det’.

    Yep, still unpronounceable.  😀

    #19582
    blenkinsopthebrave @blenkinsopthebrave

    I awoke this morning and read through all the recent posts, and realised once again how much we have been affected by the loss of @htpbdet.

    Yesterday morning I drove Mrs Blenkinsop to work, and told her the sad news. I found my voice cracking as I told her, and was rather stunned that I was as upset as I obviously was. When I brought her home in the evening, she read through everyone’s posts and was wiping away tears herself. I stood in the entrance to the kitchen, not wanting to intrude.

    Then, as I was re-reading through all the posts again this morning I realised that yesterday I had also made a couple of posts about the show at the same time as I had posted about @htpbdet. And it seemed a bit unfeeling in retrospect. I think it took a few hours for the news to properly sink in. I suspect that may be true for others as well, as there has been a lull in our usual chaotic posts about some aspect or other of the show. And that is right. But on the other hand, I wonder if perhaps we shouldn’t feel guilty about doing once again what we all, and especially @htpbdet, loved doing; that is, sharing our thoughts and crazy ideas about this wonderful show.

    I remember when I spoke at my father’s funeral over a decade ago, I reflected that one of the defining characteristics of my father was that he was a very funny man with a great sense of humour and the best way to celebrate him to to share the laughter that he encouraged. I wonder if that is also what we can do again (perhaps the only thing we, who are separated across the globe and who have never even seen each other’s faces, can do)–and that is to re-engage in the love of bonkers theorising that we shared with @htpbdet.

    I wish I could start off again now, but I am, I confess, somewhat at a loss for bonkers theories right now. But if someone what to throw one out, I will respond. Not with the briliance and grace of @htpbdet, but with a similar sense of love and commitment for this wonderful show.

    #19583
    ScaryB @scaryb

    @blenkinsopthebrave I was thinking very much the same thing*.  I suspect  @htpbdet‘d be very grumpy if he thought he’d brought the bonkers theorising to a standstill. But there’s not many who could. So he’ll just have to be patient!

    *but not about you being disrespectful

    #19584
    Anonymous @

    @blenkinsopthebrave – you’re exactly right.  @htpbdet would NOT want us to wallow in sorrow, but instead continue with the bonkers theorising which brought him so much pleasure to be involved in.  He had many medical problems this sad year of 2013, but he always insisted that thinking about Doctor Who kept him mentally agile.

    I have another snippet from that post-wake email to share with everyone:

    They [The Fledgling and The McGann Boy] told him before he died that they are going to adopt a boy and name that boy after him. He said that “HTPBDET is a bit of a mouthful. I’d call him Fred.” The Fledgling has told that story about a hundred times today and pretty much every time he has had to explain the Ribos Operation reference. It’s been fun.

    The White Guardian recruits the Doctor to collect the six hidden and disguised segments of the powerful Key to Time. He assigns him an assistant Time Lady named Romanadvoratrelundar, whom the Doctor calls Romana (despite her preference for “Fred” when given a choice by the Doctor).

    #19585
    PhaseShift @phaseshift
    Time Lord

    Many thanks for those words @danmartinuk. You know your always welcome, whenever you have a moment.

    @shazzbot

    It makes sense to move the posts to the blog if it’s possible. I know we used to struggle with that in the past.

    #19586
    Bluesqueakpip @bluesqueakpip

    @blenkinsopthebrave – I certainly didn’t think you were being disrespectful. I was doing pretty much the same thing – trying to carry on with the bonkers theorising, because I knew @htpbdet would’ve hated us to stop.

    Difficult. @Shazzbot, you’re not the only person still being very teary-eyed today.

    #19587
    CraigNixon @craignixon

    Oh.

    I just read this. @htpbdet you will be missed. Even though I did not have much interaction with you personally, your blog posts have been the highlight of this site for me.

    Its knocked me for six this. I’m gonna go hide in the works toilets now.

    #19588
    Anonymous @

    @mini-htpbdets – hello.  I can’t express enough how awful I feel – and everyone else here too feels – about your Uncle’s death.

    I heard that his wake was a joyful celebration of his life and I hope you, and your cousins, felt that as well.  We’re trying on this site to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps and continue on with our bonkers theorising work.

     

     

    #19601
    Anonymous @

    Hey guys I’m back on and I think I already know the answer to this but why is Patrick Troughton’s drawing on the main page

    #19602
    Anonymous @

    @drtennant – you ask, you receive.

    http://www.thedoctorwhoforum.com/forums/topic/website-comments/page/15/#post-19335

    Of course, everyone here is hanging on in desperate desire to hear why you think you already know the answer.

    #19603
    Craig @craig
    Emperor

    @drtennant No real reason other than I loved @jimthefish ‘s drawing and it fitted with the redesign. But turns out that new Troughton episodes have recently been found, and HTPBDET was a fan of Troughton.

    Funny how things work out.

    I will still delete you, without a second thought, if you antagonise me tonight.

    #19604
    Anonymous @

    @craig – I really don’t mind being the muscle behind your negotiator …

     

    #19607
    Anonymous @

    @Shazzbot – thanks for the image (again). I’ve had a much needed chuckle 🙂

    #19608
    Anonymous @

    Yeah @craig I thought it was because of HTPBDET and I won’t (purposly at least) antagonise you but I forgot about posting this before going off awile ago.

    I personaly don’t consider The 11th Hour and The Christmas Invasion as the first episodes of The 11th and 10th Doctor’s first episodes. I myself call them “aftermath regeneration episodes” because there’s special curcomestances, The Eleventh Hour: Crashed TARDIS Screwed-up Sonic Screwdriver (never thought I’d say that) The Christmas Invasion: A comaish Doctor.

    #19609
    Craig @craig
    Emperor

    @drtennant

    You know what, you don’t even need to antagonise me. I don’t like you and your “curcomestances”. I don’t know what sort of perverse joy you get out of this, but I’ve had enough of your inanity.

    Go do something constructive with your life.

    Consider yourself deleted.

    #19652
    Anonymous @

    Ooooh @pedant … oooooh Pedant … you missed it, you circumnambulatory cartilaginous creature, you. 😀

    #19657

    @Shazzbot

    I saw it brewing – I suspect it wasn’t wilful trolling, but that sociopathic bone that seems too common on t’interwebs, a sort of narcissism-of-anonymity that makes some blind to context.

    (A year or so back I was visiting relatives oop t’north and took their dog for a walk. Now, Zack is an amiable sort of mutt but does like to bomb around the park and especially to plunge into the stream. This is all well and good, expect that this time he plunged straight into the middle of a group of people who were scattering the ashes of their own much-loved pooch. They were rather more tolerant than I would have been…. For some reason @drtennant made me think of that.)

    Anyhoo, it is nice to have a name for Christopher. I just read his last post on the Guardian Blog (thanks to @danmartinuk) – a comprehensive slamdown of asgill’s “I’m a better fan than you” shtick. When I first saw his posts I thought that @htpbdet had a touch of that about him (so we had a couple of tetchy exchanges), but I eventually realised that he was was simply strong of view and not, in any way, projecting or proselytising: just explaining as a true romantic.

    #19666
    Anonymous @

    @phaseshift

    At the moment, CGI is just something a hobby. I use a program called ‘Milkshape’ for the models. It’s pretty basic but easy to use (and, more importantly, cheap!).

    I have a few ideas running around my head for some short animations but I need to get to grips with ‘Blender’ first and it’s proving to be a nightmare.

    I’m familiar with Mech-masters work. We’re both members of the Project Dalek Forum which is a site for builders of CGI, scale and full size Daleks. I’m pretty sure that some of the more ‘dedicated’* members would like to build fully functioning Daleks 🙂

    I posted a picture of Mech-masters ‘Storm’ Dalek a while back, post #15809

    * by ‘dedicated’, I mean absolutely stark raving bonkers 🙂

    #19670
    DrSmith @drsmith

    Hello, sorry to bug you guys some more but I just wanted to apologize for being such a burden.When I joined here as Doctor4 I was an arrogant Doctor Who fan wanting to join a community and I didn’t intend to troll or antagonize anyone, but you guys kicked me out and a few weeks later I rejoined as DrTennant and I realize I’m not as educated at Doctor Who or how to write a paragraph with perfect grammer or punctuation as all of you. So I think you guys should make it clear that this forum isn’t for kids wanting to show off their toys. Which that’s not what I was doing @fatmaninabox I figured you guys thought I was uneducated with the shows so I was just letting you know I was getting more familiar with the classic show an wanted a recommendation thanks by the way @bluesqueakpip

    But for @htpbdet I wish I could have thanked him for when I joined as Doctor4 he was the ONE who made me feel welcome and like I was being listened to yes some of you welcomed me and were friendly but others got judgy quickly. So every time I look at my River Song’s Sonic Screwdriver I hope, hell I pray it reminds me of him, Good bye.

    #19671
    WhoHar @whohar

    @Shazzbot

    Bit out of the loop with The Fledgling & The McGann boy and the wedding and all that. Can you give me a brief recap or point me to a previous post. Thanks.

    I’ve tried looking but can’t find any reference and, tbh, I feel a bit uncomfortable going through certain old posts right now.

    #19684
    Anonymous @

    Hi @whohar – try this one, it’s his McGann story from The Doctors blog series.

    #19686
    Nick @nick

    @Shazzbot

    Did our departed friend ever summarise AG Who Doctors in the same way (I never saw anything quite like this series of blogs certainly)

    Thanks

    Nick

    #19688
    Anonymous @

    @nick – good question.  @htpbdet sadly got very ill just when he was formulating his Eccleston blog in his head.  Of course the last two letters of his moniker were ‘E’ and ‘T’ and so I knew we were in for some wonderful writing about the the first two AG Doctors.

    I’ve been advised that his family are combing through his computer to find whatever they can that he had managed to write down.  In my role as his ‘Editor’ I’ll review whatever is unearthed and I do dearly hope that we’ll have some of his thoughts on the later Doctors to enjoy.

    #19689
    ScaryB @scaryb

    @drsmith

    Thank you for the apology. We don’t mean to be rude but I hope you understand how incongruous your post seemed the other night, when all the other posts were grieving our lost member.  There are a lot of people here who are hurting at the moment.  It’s like any other community, you need to go a bit slowly to get the tone of it right if you want to fit in. For most of us the acquiring isn’t important, it’s the ideas that come from those acquisitions. I would suggest that you give it a few days, then maybe come back with a short post about your thoughts on some of the BG Who that you’ve been watching.  (And I remember your original conversation with HTPBDET – it’s in his memory that I am responding with I hope, encouragement.  But please don’t expect us to have our usual energy right now).

    #19690
    Nick @nick

    @Shazzbot

    Let’s hope he had some draft thoughts down. Even so

    Given the number of his posts here and on the Guardian I guess you could reconstruct his opinion (which would certainly be interesting to read), but of course it wouldn’t have the emotional depth to make it really special. Good luck.

    Thanks

    Nick

    #19691
    WhoHar @whohar

    @shazzbot

    thanks for the link.

    Thanks also for being the intermediary between us and @htpbdet‘s family – it’s a worthy thing you are doing and, I’d imagine, emotionally difficult. It is appreciated. x

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