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The thing about Slapgate is that this isn’t unique for the modern Doctor at all, and I’m struggling to remember if it has been “a thing” before. Let’s face it – the Doctor was being a bit of an obstinate arse on the Dalek thing, and I can’t help but think that people like Jo Grant and Peri would have been constantly slapping their respective Doctors given half a chance. Sometimes the Doctor can be an unmitigated arse, and that’s why we love him.

So – how does Clara’s slap measure up in the history of modern slaps? Time to find out with a random list of top slaps:

River v the Eleventh Doctor

Come on – this has to be the top of anyone’s chart from The Impossible Astronaut. A real headjerker which Alex Kinston took a certain delight in confessing took multiple takes because Matt Smith believes in suffering for his art. Or likes being slapped by beautiful women.

Justification – Absolutely none. This Doctor was paying for the manipulations of his future self.

That has to be a 10/10.

Jenny v the Eleventh Doctor

Shortly followed by this, which makes me believe we’re erring on the side of “likes being slapped by beautiful women”. After stealing this kiss from his saviour, he gets another real headjerker.

Justification – Loads. OK he’s been rescued by cute-as-a-button Jenny who has come dressed as Mrs Peel from The Avengers. She’s not, however, that type of lesbian. And married. More than warranted. As I remember, this did cause a bit of a reaction, but more towards the Doctors attitude. But Eleven was exactly that kind of inappropriate idiot, and got the reaction merited.

I’d give this 9/10

Rose mum v the Ninth Doctor

Our first slap. “Nine hundred years of Time and Space, and I’ve never been slapped by someone’s mother”. Nice wrist action from Jackie, who looks more than capable of decking the Ninth Doctor.

Justification – Bit of a navigational boo-boo means Jackie thought her daughter was missing/dead. It’s understandable, and I think we can say she just got revenge for all the pre-BG mum’s who never saw their offspring again.

7/10

Martha’s mum v the Tenth Doctor

“It’s always the mum’s” declares the Tenth Doctor after this slap. It’s a bit bloodless to be honest without much “oomph”.

Justification – None, on the face of it. It’s a reaction to tittle-tattle from the Doctor’s arch nemesis.

4/10

I’d give Clara’s slap in this one a 6/10, maybe 7.

I therefore declare the Eleventh Doctor the official slap magnet of the AG years. Unless anyone wants to dispute the rankings on this one.

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@theatreguy @jimthefish

I’ll take a bow, and thanks.

I don’t particularly like the approach, but I think it may be beneficial for some people to learn they can take the time to type what they want, but ultimately we have a singular BIG RED BUTTON that can send their ill thought-out mindwank to the ether.

For those concerned by the welfare of our trollish friends, I’ll point out that I have PM’d @smeglennon to invite him to partake in a private conversation on etiquette.

We do try.

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For the avoidance of doubt, I’ll point out that I binned @smeglennon ‘s carefully crafted raft of clichés because, after last week, I couldn’t be arsed to do anything else. Just to avoid the blame being placed on any other mod or administrator.

Phaseshift – Here, and happy to help.

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@craig

Oh, congratulations to you and pal. Honestly, I don’t think it’s a challenge I could do (my knees are weaker than Lord Snowdon’s were in the 80s). 🙂

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@fonsini

You will likely disagree with this assessment, quite possibly seeing it as laughable

Hey – you called it.

If we ever get bored with “theories even more insane than what’s actually happening” as a tagline, we’ll substitute it with:

“Doctor Who – promoting leftist ideals since 1963”

Or

“Theories not half as insane as what’s going on in the head of Fonsini”

Thanks for your custom. Much appreciated. Being trolled like that makes us feel all special.

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@mystery

I don’t know if you intended to insert an example there, but I just checked your post and there was nothing there. If you need help on inserting images, click on the help tab.

I think the example you quote sounds more like a case for David Tennants legal representatives. So unless you intend bringing him into disrepute, it sounds inoffensive. I’d say we really can’t comment without an example.

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@mystery

I think @wolfweed has covered it with his answer. Fanzines used to thrive on contributions from fan cartoonists who were covered in the parody class. This went up to people like Tim Quinn and Dicky Howlett, who (as I’m sure @wolfweed would agree) were the Masters of the form for Doctor Who Monthly. There is a collection of their work on their site (you’ll have to scroll down to the Who stuff).

There is a long tradition (dating back to 1963) of Political Satire Magazine “Private Eye” doing Doctor Who cartoons (try typing Private Eye Dalek Cartoon into Google image search), as well as Newspaper Cartoonists. Largely, the BBC is relaxed about it and fan art in general. It’s like free publicity and why the show is considered iconic. The only area where you’ll get into difficulty is if you’re making serious money out of an ongoing enterprise, or BBC Worldwide feel you’re bringing the brand into disrepute.

Still – post an example of your work if you have any.

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Ooohh. Enjoyed it even more second time around. The miracle of sleep.

Hope @juniperfish is feeling better, and immensely cheered that with Pink/Blue names she can continue her spectrum based musings.

I’m not willing to wager what Missy is yet, but I don’t think we can automatically assume that Ms Carlisle’s “harvesting” (if that’s a good word) indicates anything about last weeks half faced man.

With Danny Pink having some apparent real issues with his past, I’m wondering if her motivation isn’t to “save” the people who the Doctor feels responsible for – the ones he couldn’t save or has had to finish off for the greater good. I can’t help but feel that a collection of such people would be a huge weapon to demoralise the Doctor, if he’s questioning if he’s a good man.

Still she’s either a time-traveller or extra-dimensional (like the Guardians). She’s collected one from Victorian England and one from the far future. Hmmm. I wish @janetteb hadn’t planted that thought about Adric coming back for an appearance. That sent a shiver down my spine.

Loved the turn-around on the age thing this week:

The Doctor: “I’d say you were in love, but you aren’t a young woman anymore”
Clara: “I am”
The Doctor: “You don’t look it.”

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I watched early this morning (about 3ish) and seem to have missed an awful lot looking at these posts. A rewatch is surely in order.

I really did enjoy it though. Ben Wheatley would be welcome back in the Directors chair – there were some lovely flourishes from him, and I particularly liked the the brush with psychodelia as they entered the Dalek interface, and the battle scenes with the Dalek attack on the ship.

I also loved the idea that the Daleks are hardwired to have non-conforming thoughts and memories blanked, keeping them nice and loathsome. Others have mentioned some great turns by the guest cast – Zawe Ashton and Michael Smiley (yey! Tyres from Spaced in Doctor Who!). Intriguing introduction to Samuel Anderson as well.

This is actually shaping up to be really good – I think the continuing debate on the Doctors morality is good to see.

Oh – and the Duplicate reference. It has been used before, in the fifth Doctor Resurrection of the Daleks.

I meant to mention it because the modern nano-converted humans get a dalek eye on the forehead and these guys had them in a helmet – an earlier version perhaps? Whatever – it muddies the water so it may be a term of reference thing – these rebels may consider them Duplicates because they don’t realise they are hollowed out humans (they weren’t particularly that knowledgeable about Dalek construction either).

I shall be back later this afternoon after the coffee had done its work and I have had a rewatch.

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@craig

Climbing Snowdon at the behest of a pal? Hope you have a magnificent time.

I was a teenager when my mate Simmo organised a Mount Snowdon challenge. Unfortunately, it rapidly became apparent as we drove to London he intended an alternative Mount Snowdon challenge which involved climbing the North face of Antony Charles Robert Armstrong-Jones, Lord Snowdon.

We approached him at a fashion shoot in London’s trendy Mayfair and bumrushed him at the launch party. The third in our party was collared by a Policeman at the door, and I’m afraid I was felled in the rush by a surprisingly good rugby tackle by a model dressed entirely in taffeta.

From a prone position I saw Simmo lumber up to base camp at the feet of a horrified Snowdon, and begin to climb him. A technical challenge as Simmo was a good 3inch taller than Snowdon himself. Snowdon’s nose may have presented a tricky challenge, but fortunately Simmo’s weight buckled the aging Snowdon’s legs and down he went.

Simmo planted a small Union Flag (with one of those little sucker cups) on the forehead of a now prone (and unconscious) Lord Snowdon and declared victory.

After a rousing chorus of God Save the Queen, we were taken to the local nick.

Great days.

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@arbutus @Purofilion

Just on the Victorian era and The Paternoster Gang, I think I wrote this plea to have a series in a blog before you joined, and so I’ll give you a link if you are interested in the time and what was occurring @Purofilion.

http://www.thedoctorwhoforum.com/sidrat/in-praise-of-the-paternoster-gang/

@arbutus, one of the “example stories” I suggested made a play on the Dino literature of the time (Conan Doyle’s Lost World, Journey to the Centre of the Earth) as a Silurian story. I like the thought that Conan Doyle, having struck a friendship with Vashtra in basing his detective on her, would accompany her on a search for a lost tribe of hers.

The Dinosaur really doesn’t bother me. After the Ripper incident, and the behaviour of the papers, the British Government introduced the first variant of “D” Notices to prevent reporting on certain issues. The world was very different (but somehow very similar) to our days. If it wasn’t reported, was it history? It may have filtered into literature and pop culture though. What else inspired Godzilla? 🙂

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Maybe we need an easily insertable graphic to warn our valuable posters that they are about to encounter a troll post. A quick edit, insert the graphic, and Bob’s your Auntie?

I thought:

But any suggestions welcome.

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@craig

That’s interesting about the slightly different version. I know it’s sold in some pretty conservative territories and always wondered how viscous the edit scissors were. I’m thinking predominantly of the recent acquisition of series 5-7 by Al Jazzera for broadcast across the Middle East.

A casual look at a couple of the multiple threads on the G (Christ – they went to town didn’t they) revealed a fair few people who seemed to bang on about it non-stop in a “typical left wing liberal propaganda forcing gayness down our throats, etc” way. Absolutely bemuses me.

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@juniperfish

Genuine “Oh Noes!!” to your absence so far.
Genuine “Yipee’s!!”” to the appearance of your Avatar.

Hope you feel better soon. We have TWELVE weeks of excitement to cope with!! Get those pills down yer neck (as we say in Yorkshire)

I’ll have some more robust arguments when I have more than four hours of sleep. Thatbe mid-day tomorrow then.

Get well soon. x

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@chickenelly

but the impaling of Cyborg man on the church spire I took to be a reference to Troughton’s demise in The Omen.

Surely a reference from your Granny?! But a brilliant reference all the same.

@cathannabel (lovely new avatar, BTW)

“it would not be wonderful to meet a Megalosaurus, forty feet long or so, waddling like an elephantine lizard up Holborn Hill.”

Loving that. My congrats to Dr Regis for that one, and to you for passing it on. Billiant!

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@thommck

One other thing I’d like to talk about was how beautiful all of the cinematography was.

For the budget, I always find a lot of Doctor Who pulls miracles out of the box. For this, I loved the Clara perspective holding breath sequences, with the spectrum on the camera changing colour as she tried to escape. What a great sequence!

@bluesqueakpip

I think you’re on the money about the Smith phonecall. It can be hard (as many old fans have explained) losing your Doctor.

There are kids who will immediately associate Matt as “The Doctor” in the future. There are kids who will see this as the endorsement of the new bloke. It’s never been done before, but this is the first time we’ve had a Doctor who is so much older in the new show. Since 9, we’ve got younger.

I think we can forgive the BBC for going down this route. Tell a 7 or 8 year old to “man up” at the sense of loss, and see where it gets you. I can imagine a younger generation of young (but potential future posters) being swayed by that scene.

We’re watching Who!

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@jimthefish

I’m slightly bemused by all the comments here and elsewhere about the Doc’s Scottish accent. It’s like Sylvester’s Doc never happened.

Depressing isn’t it? It’s as if we can only accept a Scottish actor if they have a faux estuary English accent. I blame the English. Or perhaps, more accurately, trollism.

@timeloop

I was harsh, perhaps, but no time to waste. We’ll get more of this, and I’m keen to send a signal out. We’re not digital spy, and I see no good reason to entertain people who can’t be arsed to form a cogent argument and instead rely on posting a “top ten internet opinions on why Doctor Who under Moff sucks” without qualification. There are other sites available, and I think we are happy enough to forego their observations on this, no ANY, occassion.

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I’ll just add I loved a lot of the identity questions that were posed. Vastra’s (Neve Mcintosh is GREAT) bit about the veil and how the Doctor wears a face was interesting.

Why that face? Is there a hidden message to himself?

A subtle question for the audience with the broom reference. It’s an old question, in many forms, but how do you know if it’s the same item when nothing is original in it? The Droids confusion is down to his central programming being fundamentally changed by his organic components. How do we know that the Doctor is the Doctor. Because he says he is? Or by evaluation in word and deed? Is it the eye of the beholder? Nice plays in the script, and it’s probably why I love SMs more oblique approach.

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@smeglennon

..plot was crap..
..moffatt has lost it i think..
..boring return of the forgettable jenny, vastra and sontaran..
..derivative and boring..

Wow. Where do I start? I finished my “Doctor Who whinge Bingo Card” one paragraph into your post. Truly a first.

It must suck, being you.

I didnt like the scottish accent, it’s not the doctor

Try telling that to the Seventh Doctor.

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Just to reassure those who have asked – Yes, the episode threads are for discussing the content of the episode in question, so nothing you talk about in the thread itself can be considered a spoiler.

I know many posters keep away until they’ve seen the episode but all we’d ask is that you show a little bit of consideration for people looking at the activity thread. If all you wanted to say was “OMG MATT SMITH!!!!!!!” try to extend your essay writing skills by putting in some other thoughts first and making that you’re last point. We’re not twitter. 🙂

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I was a bit too “amped up” at obscure o’clock this morning to ignore this, so I watched before going to sleep.

I was delighted, and I believe SM should be congratulated for producing two extremely good regeneration stories during his tenure (this is unheard of in 50 years of Who history). Lightish in tone, but effectively doing what needed to be done for each Doctor and reassuring the audience that, yes, this is the same show.

The big difference between Deep Breath and Eleventh Hour is the companion factor. Having Clara in play lets him effectively do the same trick as with Rose in Christmas Invasion. She becomes the audience observer trying to work out just how she/they feel about the Doctor. That’s where the comparison ends, because SM subverts quite a lot of expectations in that dynamic.

I thought Jenna played a blinder here. For a large part of series 7 Clara was a likeable cipher to be worked out. Here the work she did in Day and Time of the Doctor was extended (and perhaps was not so overshadowed by events) and Clara conveys bemusement, concern and occasional betrayal (her face when the Doctor appears to abandon her at the door!) very well. Absent though is the bit of self-pity I thought Rose demonstrated in Christmas Invasion. From her confrontation with Vastra (another brilliant exchange after the Snowman “lies” scene) to her confrontation with the Droid, to her resignation at perhaps being left behind, she really does impress me.

Peter Capaldi was just awesome. What were all those concerns about him being an “old guy”? If I reach that age and can produce such a whirlwind of activity, I will be a happy man indeed. I doubt I could do it know. Brilliant lines with the comedy, and lots have been mentioned already. They came so thick and fast though. “You all sound English, It’s like you’ve all developed a fault!?” being a favourite of mine.

There is a lot of juicy things to pick up on – his apparent abandonment of a companion, and the reverse perhaps means we are in for a Doctor who thinks differently. Apparently callous – but if there is no way to open the door, find another route and trust in his companion to hold her own (which Clara does). As the episode progresses to the end, we see that yes – his trust in Clara is absolute. She is the route to perhaps find himself. The question “did he jump or was he pushed” for the droid is an interesting one, and hats off to the dialogue that revels in ambiguity leading up to that.

Interesting that the Doctor left Clara with the Paternoster Gang (THEY NEED A SERIES, BBC) as he nipped off somewhere. Be interesting to know what the pressing business was. Perhaps flying to the aid of his other selves for the events of Day of the Doctor?

Lovely cameo by Matt Smith, and one I guess they filmed when filming Time of the Doctor with this intention. Handing over the baton in a timey-wimey way. Lovely to see.

Like Eleventh Hour, we have the seeds of a new arc in place with the mysterious Missy. In charge of “paradise” and seems to consider the Doctor her “boyfriend”. The mysterious woman in the shop? The arranger of the dinner date in the restaurant? So a control freak game-player with an invested interest in keeping Clara and the Doctor together. Who knows such details as that Clara is “the impossible girl”. Some future Clara, perhaps? This may be lack of sleep though.

Fantastic to have a full run to look forward to!

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@vashtanerada

Welcome, and make yourself at home. If you want to see what people are talking about click on the activity bar in the menu just below our spiffy logo.

The Home Page gives a list of some of the more current topics and it will be augmented later when Craig sets a discussion forum for the new episode.

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Morning all, and Happy Who Day. I’ll echo that it’s good to see the clan gathering for a new series. I also can’t wait for the further sartorial elegance of the @chickenelly avatar.

I can’t believe I’m working tonight, in the middle of bloody nowhere. I won’t even be able to pop a small party popper at the appropriate time because I’d be in danger of scaring the small, furry and, above all, endangered animals I’m supposed to be monitoring and tracking. Bah! My party will be tomorrow morning whenever I stagger out of my pit. I shall join in the conversation then after enjoying the show in bliss. Does cheap red plonk sit well when you’ve just got up?

What’s worse is that this stupid arrangement is to be repeated for a least the next four weeks. I have a feeling that the frustration levels will mean that the small furry animals may become even more endangered as time goes on because I may resort to random target practice to reduce my teeth-gnashing.

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I think after the mixed Next Doctor, to be presented with this was disappointing, because it follows a similar trajectory.

There is a lot to like. The beginning as we are introduced to Lady De Souza and her intersection with the Doctor on the Bus is an interesting start (definitely “nutter on the bus” territory @wolfweed :-D). Andrew Cartmel once said that the eventual replacement for Ace was intended to be a canny jewel thief, and I can’t help but think that would be an interesting dynamic.

I know a lot of people criticised Michelle Ryan/Lady De Souza, but I actually think it’s a good turn. Yes – she is overly confident and full of herself, but that’s the nature of the character. It’s a big performance, but honest I think, and the relationship with the Doctor as he tries to work her out is pretty entertaining. I actually think she may have worked as a companion for a while, and you could do something different with such a risk taker. Give her an arc the scope of Donna’s and you could have real fun and tragedy aplenty.

@bluesqueakpip s assessment on the “fun” part of the story is spot on, but I’ll agree there is something a bit jarring about some of the concepts on offer in a fun story. I starts with the fate of the Bus driver (a good effect, but there is very little consequence.

I have to admit I found the tritovore a bit ludicrous even given Russell’s stated position that “animal head on a human body makes a hilarious alien”.

I think the swarm is an interesting threat. I’ll go back to my musings on Russells love for 2000AD and point out what surely must be another influence – the Dune Sharks of Judge Dredd (inhabitants of the desert planet Hestia)

The desert setting is actually glorious really. Just because it’s unusual in who history to be given a desert planet that actually looks like a desert. It may have caused problems but the widescreen format on TV does it justice, all muted yellows and reds. Tennant and Ryan’s panicked run back to the bus is great.

I’ll echo the praise for Lee Evans. I don’t really appreciate his comedy act, but he’s turned in some good performances in movies like Fifth Element and There’s something about Mary, and this is another one. He’s obviously enjoying himself and there is something really endearing about Malcolm and his strange little world.

OK – the flying bus. We’re into the money shot. Like the big stompy robot in Next Doctor, you can imagine Russell getting really excited about this idea. Big, fun, something for the kids, etc. Thing is, it does lurch into ludicrousness with the relative ease of control and ballet like movements.

Has there ever been a pitched battle between UNIT and Monsters that has looked this good? I doubt it. There were a couple of good ones in S4 with the Sontarans, but this is genuinely well shot. As are the Dune Sharks.

And it’s just time for some flirtatious banter, and the Doctor has a “what the hell” moment as he cheekily allows De Souza to escape in her flying bus.

It is fun enough, but I think Spectacle won out on developing a bit more time on the script and story. A similar issue to The Next Doctor.

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@janetteb

Apologies, and I perhaps should have left it to someone a bit keener than me to kick things off.

I wish I’d got the opportunity to anesthetise myself last night before watching it. 😀

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@purofilion

Thanks. I find it a bit depressing, if only because it’s not an unusual story. Part of my RL work is assessing and leading remediation of “brownfield” sites. So that’s previously used industrial land that needs to be de-polluted to be used for other uses.

It can actually give you a bit of pride if you’ve worked hard on a project and turned a disused hell hole into something more pleasant, and it can be great to go back and see what the developers have made of it. The quality of the designs is sometimes very good. Eye-catching. In a couple of cases though, I’ve been bought back into a build for the other part of my work as shoddy contractor work causes flooding (from insufficient drainage), badly specified materials warping, fungal contamination from untreated wood products and all sorts of other issues. That’s really depressing and does highlight the perilous state of contractors across the board. What is worse is that the usual suspects continue to win work under various Government “cost benefit” assessment programmes.

It’s tragic.

It’s tragic.

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@craig

I think in context, “I’m a bit meh” should be considered a ringing endorsement. 😉

We rejoin the story at the introduction of, what I’m obliged to @whisht last week for describing as the Frank Spencer cliffhanger. As the Arctic Monkeys once sang – “And I’m so tense, never tenser. Could all go a bit Frank Spencer.”

Happily, or perhaps tragically, we have more or less a repeat of the cliffhanger that never happened. A historical figure to the rescue, and it’s the introduction to George Stephenson.

I’ll agree with @craig actually, Gawn Grainger puts in a nice performance as George. His enthusiasm and focus on mechanisms (his immediate attraction to the strange bonds) immediately puts him in “strange genius” territory.

Equally, I’ll pay Colin a rare compliment as the team gathers at George’s workshop. His rare moment of compassion with Luke about his father actually stands out from the rest of the episode as a bit Doctorish. It’s a pity he reverts to “arse” pretty damn quickly. Georges pride in Luke is a nice bit of foreshadowing here. “he’ll outshine me” and the Doctors raised eyebrows. History doesn’t record Luke Ward, so he’s bound to come to a sticky end.

Oh here’s the Master, with Ainley obviously come down off the sugar rush of the last few scenes he’s been in. Underplaying it, as he takes over Luke.

Unfortunately, Kate is still on a high, and as he returns to her, he manfully rises to the Panto melodrama again with her “You incompetent egoist”. What a trooper that man was. Actually because I’m laughing so much, it allows me to ignore the painful dialogue. Seriously, you can tell Eric Saward as script editor was suffering from lack of heart in his job. As the Rani demonstrates her immoral streak with the casual disposal of her servants it’s worth pondering that with the Doctor-Peri and Master-Rani, we get two squabbling “couples” for the price of one in this story.

<sarcasm>Let joy be unbounded.</sarcasm>

OK, the booby trapped painting of the erupting volcano is an interesting enough idea. The Rani’s Tardis is an interesting design. But you can tell I’m grasping for pearls to cast before swine here.

Talking of pork products, the Ham amongst our three Time Lords is only escalating. “Dilettante Doctor.”

We’re reminded of Peri’s botany skills as aided by Lord Ravensworth, she goes to collect some ‘erbs. Oh dear, to be sent to the trap that the Rani is preparing.

I’ve already recorded my horror at the stupidity of the Rani backstory in my run down of how the Time Lord story evolved. It was this kind of crap storytelling that really led to a denudation of the Time Lord status.

So, poor Luke. Mind controlled and then turned into a tree. That can apparently move to save Peri. Nope – I have no idea either. I’ll just repeat it for anyone who hasn’t got it yet. I find the scenes with Baker, Ainley and O’Mara competing for the hammiest ham of porktown appalling. Just horrible to watch. I can’t work out what they are trying to do.

I’ve reached that point when I’ve stopped caring. You know Peri is going to be suckered as she’s allowed to escort the pair of them back to the Rani’s TARDIS. The Doctor is left dangling between two Man-Trees which allows us to dwell on his truly appalling orange boots.

Stuff happens. The Doctor has sabotaged the Rani’s TARDIS so off they go to be menaced by a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Even as a voracious carnivorous predator from the dawn of time, it’ll probably choke itself to death on the ham available in that room.

And the denouement of the story sees Lord Ravensworth ask the crucial question: “What do you do in there?”

The answer? “Argue, mainly”. Well, quite. Self awareness is great, if you aren’t highlighting one of the main things that people in AI research were complaining about.

Still – I’m looking on the bright side. Having recorded my thoughts on this, I need not visit it again.

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What ho!

I don’t know if anyone got any rain on Friday, but Barnsley was hit by a monsoon mid afternoon as I was travelling back on Friday. As I was public transporting it, I made a diversion to pick up some supplies, and the heavens opened. Haven’t see it rain so hard for such a duration in my life.

I went back to the Interchange (which is a very nice PFI building that replaced a monstrous carbuncle of an area which traditionally greeted visitors to Barnsley). It normally looks like this:

It was chaos. Water was gushing in from multiple points, through light fittings. The floor was awash with water and about three – four inches deep in places. The seating areas had to be evacuated on advice from the fire service who were concerned “the roof would come down”. We were shepherded into an area below a bridge “for our safety” which would have provided negligible protection.

You’re standing in inches of water, in a building, and suddenly aware your boots aren’t that watertight. You start to fear trenchfoot. I paint this picture just so you can imagine the absurdity of what came next. A young chap, no older than 18 has obviously been told by the management to do something proactive. He has one of those push cleaning units that shines the floor and can suck up water. The tank is obviously only about 25 litres and he’s pushing it along. Everyone starts to laugh, because it’s an insane proposition. He gets very red faced and continues to defiantly push his little watersucker through torrents of water. This obviously makes the crowd laugh even harder. The likelihood is, his device couldn’t keep up with the tears of laughter being produced. Despite all the catastrophe of my day I was still laughing when I got home two hours later.

Moral of the story – PFI contracts, no matter how lovely looking, are a long term waste of money when an innovative design is implemented by contractors who are awarded it on cost. I.e. “How many corners can we cut”. An abomination.

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@bluesqueakpip

Phaseshift – We’re not allowed to starve child actors, okay? Adult actors can and do go on crash diets to look appropriately poverty-stricken, but you can’t do that to the kids – there are Rules. You just have to do the best you can with artistically placed ‘dirt’ make-up and costume. Which probably were recycled from a stage production of Oliver!; no costume hire company worth its salt would throw away perfectly re-usable ‘Victorian Urchin’ costumes.

It’s ‘elf and safety gorn MAAAAAAD. Surely we wouldn’t miss a couple of them? 😀 They really do have that carefully applied look of poverty and grime though don’t they? A layer of foundation would have made them look pale and ill.

On the giant stompy Cyberking, It doesn’t work for me. I’m not sure why because normally I love steampunk, but somehow it just seems a bit…. well, cack in the absence of a better expression.

@wolfweed

Actually that picture you posted of the Cybershades is the best thing about them. Well done!

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Welcome back @Stormaggeddon (@stormy72). I just had a look at your comment to see if anything had gone wrong, but no – it just tails off. It can be useful once you’ve formulated the comment to switch back and forth between the visual and text tabs on the top right of the comment box, to see if there are problems. Let us know if you see any more errors.

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Just having had a laugh with @whisht on the B7 blog about Brian Blessed and OTT performance, and it reminded me.

If anyone wants to enjoy Brian Blessed without the SHOUTING, can I really recommend an episode of The Avengers from 1967 (the first season in colour)? It’s called The Superlative Seven and it’s fantastic. He’s without a beard and it’s a performance of quiet menace that’s so far removed from what he’s more noted for it deserves real praise. I’m sure a causal relationship could be drawn between the bushier the beard, the more outlandish the performance.

The episode is made even better because it also has Charlotte Rampling and a very young Donald Sutherland in prominent guest roles. They’re all brilliant and the Seven little Indians approach of the story, with the Seven being killed off one by one, is great.

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My least favourite Chrimble special so far. I’m probably pre-empting things by saying that the close of the Tennant era (as presented by the specials) struggled as far as I’m concerned. He hadn’t announced his departure yet, but after the “show to end all shows” of the finale in the fourth series, joking with a fake regeneration, and then announcing a special called The Next Doctor, I’m sure many were guessing.

Rewatching this, I can see why Russell himself thinks he botched the ending. He was going for spectacle and eye-candy, revisiting the idea of a giant stompy robot demolishing London with a woman trapped, ensnared in it (from his New Adventure Novel). Personally, I can’t help but think there was a little “that’ll do” about the production that came from the basic script.

Unlike @thekrynoidman, I don’t think It’s not entirely without merit though. I think David Morrissey and Velile Tshabalala as Jackson & Rosita are good value. The clips of previous Doctors was actually the first time that had been done so – huzzah for that (and enshrining the Eighth Doctor – you cannot imagine, after the joy of Night of the Doctor, the amount of comment whinges went on about that one at the time).

Dervla Kirwan is always good value, and makes the most of her early scenes, but the final possession is lost in amongst the dreadfulness. I like how her story has hints at a dark past, but those are secrets that really can’t be explored, so they can’t go anywhere with it.

The child actors look and sound like they’ve stepped out a school production of Oliver. It’s all a bit rosy cheeked to really do justice to that idea of the darker side to “good old” Victorian values.

The Cybershades – what the hell were they all about? I haven’t a clue, to be frank. It’s all a bit aimless. I don’t think that the episode being bookended by the Doctor on a downer helps. While I’m sure the Doctor’s “they break my hearts” line was a standout for some, it made me want to shake him.

The standout scene for me is the funeral, with Miss Hartigan vivid in red, and the Ghostly Cybermen striding about in the snow. It looks beautiful and even at conventional DVD levels looks HD (when it isn’t). Really eyecatching and a foretelling to the “Dark fairytale” approach to production in the Eleven years.

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There used to be a joke that the credit sequence was the only time the Doctor smiled in CBs tenure. It’s not quite accurate, but a scowl, condescending stare or smirk was the norm.

We open in ye’ olden times, with men doing hard graft in t’pit. The one thing I will congratulate this production on is the choice of locations. It’s shot around the Ironbridge Gorge near Telford, the location of a lot of historical museums and a superb Vicorian village. Growing up in Staffordshire I’d visited it as a schoolchild and found myself recognising places I’d been. It’s actually a good visit still, so I’ll put a link to the attractions.

Accents place us in the NorthEast of England. Do we need sub-titles for foreign viewers? My father grew up in the area, so I’ll happily translate. I’m only half kidding. I love the accent myself, but when the series Auf Wiedersehen, Pet was exported to the English speaking world like America, requests for subtitles became a thing.

Enter the man of the moment, with Peri. Here he is throwing an outlandish strope (as per). I heartily concur with @wolfweed s “unconvincing and crap” line. The continued sniping between the Doctor and Peri became very tiring very quickly. Peri appears to have evolved from her near death experience of Caves of Androzani to petulant princess, with a costume to match. At least she’s not wearing one of those plunging leotards. Dad and adolescent schoolboy friendly they may have been, but wandering about Telford in the winter in one of them would have resulted in death, I would imagine.

In the bath house, the Miners treat us to a demonstration of the Ancient and Noble Art of towel flicking, before mysteriously going on the rampage. The mini riot is convincing enough to anyone who has been in Newcastle on a special drinking night out. That’s every night, for anyone wondering. 😉

Peri’s poor choice of footwear not withstanding, her ensemble in the muddy spoil heap actually compliments the Doctor’s in terms of outlandishness. Perhaps they were having a competition? It’s a nice try Peri, but no cigar.

More incomprehensible violence, and the Doctor goes to the aid of a horse. It’s left to Peri to help, and draw his attention to a couple of apes who are damaged. The Doctor is delighted to hear George Stephenson is about, with an added opportunity for Peri to indulge his massive vanity. But just who is the shadowy figure spying on them? And chuckling. With a scarecrow and Peri the Princess with her shoes, perhaps this is going to be Doctor Who does The Wizard of Oz? We also have a suspicious old crone who runs the bath-house. I’m betting a suitably period Victorian dwelling is about to land on her.

It’s the Master!! Who is showing a bit of interest in the old crone. The Doctor and Peri continue to bicker, with Colin being condescending, and Peri whinny. Peri is smug?! Hell – pot kettle black.

The Master is a dastardly dog killer. Oh, and a bloke. Anthony Ainley is reasonably OK at this point because he just had to look menacing, and deliver a few lines. He sets the rowdy Miners on the Doctor, who attempt to throw him into the pit – allowing a glimpse into the process of writing this new format.

It’s an obvious cliff hanger (or pit hanger in this case), but it occurs too early in the episode. Pip and Jane Baker obviously originally wrote as a four parter, and the episode was rewritten to this format. A couple of territories tried to make it a four parter, but it wasn’t easy with the obvious edit points way out of whack.

Colin’s face acting, hanging from chain, is hilarious. He looks massively constipated. It’s Terrance Alexander to the rescue. Lord Ravenworth (real historical character alert) one of the patrons of Science and engineering of this time.

Our suspicious hag is obviously more than she appears, with the ability not to attract falling farmhouses. The Master has a screwdriver-like device which does wood!Look, learn and weep Doctor. The hag is confronted, and pulls of her face! It’s Kate o Mara – The Rani!. Yet another time lord exile. Apparently feeding unconscious Miners maggots.

The writers, Pip and Jane Baker have an obvious love of melodramatic dialogue. This is matched by a flowery way with prose, as anyone who has read any of their novelisations will attest. I’m afraid that script editor Eric Saward couldn’t be arsed to reign them in, and the exchange between the Rani and Master gets progressively worse.

I admire Kate for trying to keep it straight, but she’s got this dialogue and Anthony seizing the opportunity to go for Panto with real gusto. Soon, she’s at it herself, and you half expect her to start slapping her thigh. Look at Ainley go! He looks like he’s twirling his moustache even when he’s isn’t!

It really does start to go a bit wrong here. Colin gets VERY SHOUTY (a thing he did) which brings back thoughts of Brian Blessed, and Panto again. Putting two and two together, he realises that there’s trouble in’t bathhouse. He goes black face.

“How do I look”, he enquiries of Peri. Her response should have been “Marginally less ludicrous than normal, Doctor”.

After being gassed by the Rani, she wakes him up and calls it as it is – this latest incarnation Doctor is a bit objectionable. However, Pip and Jane go for broke here:

“You are indeed a worthy opponent.” Jesus wept. This is what we’ve come to? They’re joined by the Master and we’re reaching cringing levels, and then Peri pulls of an inept rescue.

What a cliffhanger as the doctor rushes, curiously well directed, down a twisty path. To be met by the Miners who want to recreate the cliffhanger that never happened.

I’m praying for a surprise regeneration. It’s a shame that the visually impressive locations, the interesting choice of period and location have really been made redundant by some atrocious writing and the enormous drag factors of three leads who, when in competition, play it to more ludicrous levels.

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Apologies for not being around. I’ve got dreadfully busy so I won’t be joining in the fun Colin Baker watch until late Saturday night probably.

You were a bit late with your vote @thekrynoidman, you obviously missed my post above announcing the winner as Mark of the Rani, with details on how cheap it is at the BBC.

At least my late watch prevents me from writing the first post – which knowing how emotional I get when watching Colin will mean other people can avoid my thoughts by getting in nice and early to watch it and commenting. Colin. His coat of many colours. Mysterious Time Lords and a Victorian inventor.

I may cry.

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A mixture of delight and sorrow here.

Welcome back to the swishy goodness of @juniperfish!

I have to congratulate @blenkinsopthebrave for his advocacy for Mark of the Rani. It is now our clear winner and a demonstration that I have no power in this equation because I find it some of the most pantomime arse-gravy to be produced in the shows history.

I’m sure you’ll enjoy my invective over the next couple of weeks.

The cheapest option for collectors is the BBC shop. It’s 4.99, and I’ve just ordered it through gritted teeth.

To prepare us for this massive celebration of THE Colin Baker, I have fulfilled a pledge to showcase one of his pre-WHO roles. Prepare yourselves, my friends, to enter the universe of Blake’s 7.

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It’s actually quite strange to revisit this episode in a retrospective. We know Russell had made his decision to move on at this point, and was working towards an end game.

So we have a summation of his period in a way. Look who’s putting the band back together as we get Rose, Jack, Mickey, Martha, Sarah Jane and lots more familiar faces. It has a celebratory “end of an era” feel to it which the subsequent valedictory specials never quite matched.

This is “event” television – the cliffhanger in which the Doctor appears to be regenerating made the news – not just on the BBC, but on ITV and Sky apparently, with the Sunday papers rushing out articles. Russell must have laughed his head off.

I actually think that the previous episodes hang together a bit better than this, but this has an aim and delivers it well. There are a couple of misses – who would have thought the Shadow Proclamation would turn out to be so dull? The real meat is in our old friends though, as they pull towards each other. I have to echo @craig, and say Liz Sladen is just incredible in this. Her face actually sells pure terror as she hugs her son as starts to cry. That’s my first acting award given.

Second goes to Julian Bleach, as Davros. What a remarkable find he was. Watch him in the Torchwood episode “From out of the rain”. He does something remarkable here in putting in a performance that is a redux of the Davros character of the past (from Michel Wisher’s eerie calm of Genesis to the hysteria of the later years). He obviously has fun with the “DETONATE THE REALITY BOMB” lines, but he’s as creepy as Wisher with his quiet taunting of ten. Really love the work he did here.

And then we have Catherine. Donna. Of all the companions in the new series, she was the most engaging to me. She went through the mill with the Doctor (seriously – watch this series and she possibly deals with more pain, has her illusions shattered early, and grows magnificently) and the resolution to her story is very painful. In Who history, I would be surprised if they ever duplicate the peculiar magnificence of Catherine Tate and Bernard Cribbins in family terms. It’s pure casting gold. I love Donna, and I’m not ashamed to proclaim it loudly.

It’s big, it’s brash and faintly ludicrous, but it really does work. I could moan about the ending with the towing the Earth back to position, but you know – I can put up with that for the shot of the full TARDIS at the end with everyone beaming as they get to work the TARDIS. At that point you – know. It’s the end of the era show.

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@blenkinsopthebrave

Well, another cracker of a story!

I think I’ll echo that. The two parters in this season seemed a deliberate attempt to look at the format and play with it. Black Orchid isn’t perfect – it has a slow first part and a second part which escalated rapidly to its detriment, perhaps. The Awakening is full on. It’s pretty easy to see this remounted in the modern age and working as a season episode.

Putting aside my comments last week about blocky video effects, this is just brilliant production wise. The Malus is a fantastic construct feeding upon our hates and desires. In our references last week, add Quatermass and the Pit to Sapphire and Steel. I like the fact (and I think Satan Pit in the AG show echoed this) that the “big bad” is mute. The look and feel of this just conveys pure malevolence, a triumph of design. I look at the translucent Mini-Malus in the Tardis, and it’s spooky enough. Why the hell put that crass block video effect on top of it?

Davison is great in this. It’s a minor crime the writing of this time, because he never seemed to have a really good support cast. Tegan is about the best of them, but it’s still a revelation to see a story when he gets one companion (his last, Caves of Androzani). When watching this, was it just me who thought that Polly James Jane was more preferable as a companion? Apparently some consideration was made by JNT to making Will a companion, so let’s be thankful for small mercies.

And – surely the epoch for a Davison episode “BRAVE HEART, TEGAN!”.

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@janetteb

Turlough is, at least, a redhead

You know – I actually met Mark Strickson once and it was disconcerting because he’s not a redhead! It was dyed because the producers cast him and then suddenly realised that he and Davison were very alike in colouring on camera.

He’s pretty hilarious in real life, and could probably make a career in anecdotes on the fan circuit. After who, he did a Zoology degree and relocated to NZ to become a wildlife documentary Director. He introduced Steve Irwin to the world.

After Lalla-schoolgirl-gate I was interested to see if anyone mentioned his get-up. It rarely gets mentioned (perhaps because it’s stated that he was recruited in a school).

Lalla always maintains that she chose the Schoolgirl uniform herself, because she hated her own uniform and wanted to see if she could make it cool for other kids. Stickson didn’t like his costume, but JNT thought it was a “unique” look. It really didn’t make sense. Turlough hated the school, the earth, etc. Why the hell would he continue to dress like that?

He came to realise it was a bit of fantasy “barely legal” Schoolboy stuff on JNTs part, and he had developed an enthusiastic gay following (which he finds fairly flattering). He suddenly realised what the “Turlough rescues Peri in a pair of very, very, very tight speedos” was all about in Planet of Fire.

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@craig

While I will take my severe slap on the back of the hand (the GoT conversation should have been directed to the general TV thread) I can’t help but think you are using this to avoid the deep question here.

Mark of the Rani v Vengeance on Varos – which is the bestest?

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@whisht

It would be hilarious if Colin weighed in on Twitter with “I think you should watch..” to entice a new viewer. We could make it feature!

Just on GoT, I’ll admit to a certain reluctance (probably aligned with @janetteb). I’m thinking of waiting until it is a completed product and revisiting it.

Your mention of Peter Dinklage, though. made me remember a series calles Threshold, which I was a bit peeved got cancelled. He was a foul-mouthed, hard drinking, gambling, mathematician in a team involving an inter dimensional alien incursion that warped matter and minds. The B team was great (especially him and Brent Spiner from Trek). It got cancelled, but even with a couple of dull photo-shop-people leads, it showed more imagination than most new series that I’ve seen over the last couple of years. A shame

It’s worth seeking out for a watch, if only for wasted potential.

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@whisht

If you, or anyone with twitter, wouldn’t mind seeking his opinion, it may be useful. It’s the one “with more him” (Varos) in it, or one of the other ones, if that’s any help for the character count on twitter.

@arbutus

Noted, and you have broken the deadlock at this point. I owe you a beer.

@bluesqueakpip

An anti-vote is noted, but I feel the pro-Varos vote at the moment lacks someone with passion to really sell it, as @blenkinsopthebrave has done for Mark.

If @scaryb (who is very passionate about this one) or anyone else, who isn’t desperately, and increasingly futilely, trying to remain neutral, wants to argument for Varos to sway the vote – I recommend they weigh in soon!.

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Gosh – so far it’s a draw on the Colin Baker Episode. So I’m going to ask very kindly for anyone who hasn’t voted to throw an opinion in to avoid the inevitable tie break situation.

I haven’t cast a vote yet, and I’m afraid that if I do it will, sadly, involve me selecting the story I least object to watching. This is not a good position to be in. I may ask @craig if he has a preference in this situation, but I don’t think he’s a big fan of this era either.

So – come all ye faithful. This is @fatmaninabox s first taste of Six. What is it to be? I’m eliminating the Dalek story, and here are the votes:

Story (Episodes)	Votes
Vengeance on Varos (2x50minute)	@jimthefish, @bluesqueakpip, @fatmaninabox, @scaryb
Mark of the Rani (2x50minute)	@blenkinsopthebrave, @janetteb, @Purofilion, @whisht

Surely we must have someone lurking who is a big fan of Colin who can resolutely proclaim – “It’s x” (where x is one of the stories outlined above). More than one would be a bonus!

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I was just killing a bit of time before I had to go out for a job and noticed this great profile of Bernard Cribbins on the G. He’s doing the kids prom this year, and talks about his remarkable career, including a few bits about Doctor Who.

Absolute legend.

http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/jul/24/bernard-cribbins-cbeebies-prom

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@fatmaninabox

Great news, and I’ll weild a tipple in your direction on Friday, if I may. Will you be @fatmaninaseedbox if this all goes your way? 😀

@blenkinsopthebrave

Don’t those fine costumes fill everyone with patriotic pride!

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We’ve got this week for anyone interested to vote for a Story to get up close and personal with Colin Baker as the Sixth Doctor. We’ll close it on Saturday.

A recap of votes, so far:

Story (Episodes)	Votes
Vengeance on Varos (2x50minute)	@jimthefish, @bluesqueakpip, @fatmaninabox, @scaryb
Mark of the Rani (2x50minute)	@blenkinsopthebrave, @janetteb, @Purofilion
Revelation of the Daleks (2x50minute)	Null points.

This is THE people’s choice for THE Colin Baker episode.

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Talking of cinema showings, the BBC Annual Report is out.

As usual, that means a lot of articles in the press about how the Beeb must do this, that, the other, the hokey-cockey, or be disbanded.

In it, Doctor Who gets quite a few mentions from Director General downwards in a “oh and by the way, did we mention Day of the Doctor? Take that you forces of Darkness!” way.

Doctor Who news summarises the fun facts n’ figures for DotD as reported. All in all, pretty staggering, and clearly demonstrating SM / the BBC is/are ruining the show and have no confidence in the project. It’s doomed.

In Bang per buck (spent v. return) one show edged ahead of the good Doctor. This must be bad news for SM, clearly, as it was Sherlock Series 3. Which shows that SM should be evicted from his office, tarred, feathered, etc, because, well, stuff.

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Good luck to all who have entered the draws. One thing I’d ask is that if anyone is lucky enough to go, would they consider writing it up for us in the blog format? Don’t worry about all the tech aspects, just the text would be fine and we can make it look all pretty for you.

Main reason is, as with all these things, producing “content” (and good content/coverage) may enable us to get more invites/access to this sort of thing which can be shared out.

Oh – and one for @wafflebro who signed in from South Korea to ask about the small venue they’d been give. People power sees it increase to a 1000 seater, so good for them.

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@wolfweed

Yeah, it’s interesting that this period began the “fan-friendly mentions in exposition” thing which was the more innocuous form of continuity that the new series has retained. Eric Saward as Script Editor obviously tying it in to his earlier story as a bit of universe building.

It’s just when he started to write involved sequals to stories that probably 20,000 people remembered in detail that it all started going “Pete Tong”.

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Midnight was definitely a standout episode for Tennant, and you can’t fault Catherine Tate for rising to the challenge on her own in this. I think she’s marvellous at setting out Donna both as experienced Time Traveller at the start, and resetting her character to the slightly mundane pre-Doctor version.

It’s Doctor Who does It’s a wonderful life, and Bille Piper gets to play Clarence (in a way) before she returned as the Moment of Christmas Future in DotD.

I think it’s a good demonstration of those changing timelines we’ve discussed, and the ideas of chaos theory in a small change in direction can lead to unexpected consequences.

It’s entirely logical, and follows the incursions into Earth pretty well spot on. Not going to HC Clements means that probably someone else got selected by Lance to feed to the Racnoss, and the Doctor was still drawn into events. Without her to talk him back, he dies. I think Catherine is great at communicating her puzzlement at being drawn to this spot and it’s effect on her. It’s half remembered perhaps.

Thereafter, things progressively get worse without the Doctor, and the death toll mounts up as she’s a passive and bewildered spectator to one disaster after another. Martha Jones doesn’t survive the events of Smith and Jones, and Sarah Jane and her assistants die as well. The Masters return never happened, and presumably he’s still Professor Yana in the far future. When you see the effect of the Titanic crash and the Adipose “Birth” it’s funny that these laughable ideas take on a more chilling dimension that the episodes could deliver.

The scenes of misery continue – it’s grim up North (as everyone knows, apparently), as the family get a full house to live in. It’s actually half depressing/half uplifting as new friends are made – then very depressing as the country appears to have got “Daily Mail” disease. Probably more truth in it than not though. Hats off to the mighty Bernard Cribbins, his face as the Colasonta family are driven off to “labour camps” says it all.

Ahhh – the Torchwood team apparently bought it up on the Sontaran ship. Lot’s of mentions of these people, which is handy because we’ll see they’re all alive next week.

Nice call-out to the spiders of Metabilis 3 with the insect on the back. Rose is our exposition girl. Handy that UNIT have concocted a time machine, because we need a maguffin to get Donna into position to change things back. Catherine Tate is bloody marvellous in this, as this Donna realises she’s going to have to do something pretty drastic. Only facing yet more boredom of a traffic jam can change her own mind.

And back to reality. Still with memories of her parallel life (not for the first time – she had perceived years of a parallel existence in the Library). Enough to remember a whispered message anyway.

I have no idea why everything suddenly reads “Bad Wolf” but, no – I’m not even going to hazard a guess. Looks effective though, doesn’t it? 😀

Minor niggle at the end of a stunning episode. I really do think Midnight and Turn Left are two of the most effective episodes RTD has written, and enable great performances.

And above all, as I’m sure RTD beamed to himself, they were cheap. Most of the big effects shots had already been done. Lots of money to spend on the finale.

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@wolfweed

Anyone from Leeds offended?

I don’t think @steve-thorp is about but, living in Yorkshire I think the main source of offence would be the “Elsie Tanner” label from Donna. Wrong side of the Pennines and therefore a capital offence in Yorkshire. 😉

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